With This Kiss (37 page)

But standing in the kitchen of the house he’d grown up in, the same kitchen where his mother had asked him to promise he wouldn’t tell anyone what he’d seen, for the first time in years, Sean wondered if things really were completely black and white.

Yes, his mother had still cheated on his father. Yes, Sean had still gotten in that car and crashed into a tree to try in a foiled, childish effort to forget what he’d seen.

But if he’d known that one day in the future he’d find a love like Rebecca’s… well, then maybe it would have all been worth living through, just to get to her.

“Sean?” His mother’s voice shook on his name.

The truth. His father had advised him to simply tell the truth.

“I don’t really want to forgive you,” he told her. “But I’ll do anything for Rebecca, even put what happened behind us with the hope that forgiveness will come someday.”

“I’m so sorry.”

He nodded. “I know.”

And, for the first time, he truly did.

He wasn’t going to solve things with his mother today. But they’d just made a start. Finally.

Sean made it back to the inn just as Rebecca was leaving. She was carrying a suitcase.

He already knew that she’d arranged with Stu for a few days away from the inn.

From him.

She stood before him on the inn’s front porch, and the delicate beauty he’d been so aware of from the first moment he’d set eyes on her was made even more beautiful by the moonlight that illuminated her features.

“I’ll be back to help with the wedding this weekend.”

She’d answered only part of his question. Yes, he now knew she’d be back by Saturday. But then what? Would she leave again?

And the next time, would it be forever?

“I talked with my father tonight. About—” The words choked in his throat, but he made himself push them out. “About everything.”

Her expression softened. “That’s good.” The edges of her lips moved up, almost making a smile. “Really, really good.”

“I also talked to Eliz-… to my mother.”

Rebecca’s eyes widened at that news and in the moonlight he could see tears about to fall. A moment later, as she blinked, two tears moved from her eyelashes to her cheekbones.

“Sean.”

She whispered his name and there was so much love in it, he could feel it wrap around him, warm enough to almost chase away the chill of the wind blowing across the lake.

Sean had never begged a woman for anything. Not for attention. Not for love. Until now.

“Please don’t go.”

When she didn’t put the suitcase down, he said, “Earlier today, you said nothing had changed, that you couldn’t stay until I worked things out with my parents. I’m trying, Rebecca. I swear to you, I’m trying.”

He watched myriad emotions moving across her pretty face: hope, longing, love.

“Why, Sean? Why are you trying?”

He didn’t have to think about his answer. “Because I love you. I don’t want to lose you, Rebecca.”

A cloud drifted in front of the moon, making it impossible for him to see her expression.

“Stu knows to call me with any problems while I’m away this week.” She moved her suitcase into her other hand. “Good night, Sean.”

And as she walked away, the only thread of hope he had to hold on to was that she’d said good night.

And not good-bye.

A
fter packing her bags the evening of the festival and leaving Emerald Lake, Stu had called her cell early the next morning. At first, she’d thought he was calling to ask for help with something at the inn. But he never even brought the inn up.

Her friend said one thing, and one thing only: “He loves you.”

“You asked all of us to let you go away for a while, to let you think about your life and what you wanted from it. Now I’m asking you for that same thing.”

Only, Stu had continued to call. And Rebecca knew why: her friend cared about her. He cared about his brother. He wanted to see them happy. And, preferably, together.

After that first conversation, Rebecca let Stu’s calls go through to voice mail. She had a lot to think about. Namely that she’d been running her entire life when things got too complicated, not because she was weak nor afraid or unable to take care of herself.

But because she’d never had a reason to stay.

And she’d never had anything important enough that she didn’t want to lose.

Sean was important, had been important right from the first moment he’d spoken to her, touched her, looked into her eyes and connected with her despite all the reasons not to.

This time around he’d been her reason to run… but he was also her reason to go back.

And to stay.

She returned to Emerald Lake early Saturday morning just in time to witness the first outdoor wedding of spring. Rebecca was happy for the couple, who had just said their “I dos” and kissed in front of their applauding family and friends. And still, she was crying, just like she always did at weddings, whether she knew the couple saying their vows or not.

There was nothing she loved more than a happy ending.

Even if she hadn’t yet gotten one for herself.

As the bride, groom, and their guests all moved inside for the reception, Rebecca was just stepping beneath the roof and onto a wooden floor covered in rose petals when she heard her name on the lips of the man she’d fallen so deeply in love with.

“Rebecca.”

Slowly, she turned to face Sean. He was staring at her and she couldn’t read his expression.

After all, he’d told her he loved her, had begged her to stay, and she’d left, anyway.

Because she’d had to. Because she’d needed a little time by herself to really think things through. And to make sure that she knew her own heart.

“I missed you,” he told her, not moving from his position twenty feet away.

Rebecca stood in the center of the gazebo where
forever
had been declared so many times before. She’d never known how to lie. She didn’t know how to lie now.

“I missed you, too.”

She could almost feel his relief, could certainly see it on his face. She was about to tell him everything she was feeling when he spoke first.

“You were right, Rebecca.”

Her heart was thundering in her chest. “About what?”

“To go.” Sean crossed the distance between them, coming close enough that she knew he’d catch her if she fell. “I gave you a million reasons to leave me. A million reasons to stop loving me. All I wanted was to try and find one to make you stay. Just one.” He ran a hand through his hair. “You were the only reason I went to talk to my mother that night. Because I knew you wanted me to. Because you thought I needed to. Because I knew you’d leave if I didn’t. But you left anyway.”

Her chest had never felt so tight, so constricted. “I didn’t want to go. Leaving you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

“When I was a teenager, I didn’t understand that loving someone meant sometimes having to break a promise. I’ve made and remade that mistake over and over for twenty years, but you were wise enough to know better than to keep a secret that was going to tear someone apart. The first time I saw you, I thought you looked so delicate. But you’re the strongest person I’ve ever met. So strong that you’ll sacrifice anything for the ones you love. Even yourself.”

She felt the tears start to come again, but she didn’t want anything to blur her vision of the man standing before her.

“It was a hell of a week,” he said softly. “Probably the worst one since I was fourteen. But all I could think was that maybe, just maybe, if I kept at it, if I kept trying to forgive her a little more, then somehow you’d know and you’d come back.”

“I told you I was coming back.”

“Not just for the weekend, Rebecca. For good.” She was surprised to see a hint of a smile on his lips. “But somewhere along the way, I realized I wasn’t just talking with my mother for you anymore.” He paused. “I was trying to fix things in my family for me, too.”

She couldn’t stand apart from him another second longer. Dropping the basket to the floor, she reached for him, wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders.

He held her even tighter. “You were gone, but I could feel your love was behind me every step of the way, sweetheart.”

She didn’t bother to try and stop her tears as she pulled back. “It still is.”

She felt his hands move across her shoulders and down her arms, until he was holding her hands in his. And then he was getting down on one knee and looking up at her.

“You taught me to trust, again. And to love with all of my heart. Please stay in Emerald Lake, not only because you love your job and your friends and this town, but because you want to live out forever with me.”

She had to join him on her knees. She didn’t let go of his hands. “You say I taught you so many things, but what about everything I’ve learned from you? For so long I was afraid to trust my heart, but it led me to you. You showed me a world I’ve only glimpsed from the outside, that I was too afraid to explore, and that day out on your beach, with
your plane, you gave me your hand and asked me to trust you one more time. Because you believed in me in a way no one else ever has.”

“You would have eventually gotten into an airplane, even without me.”

“Maybe, but it wouldn’t have been nearly as special. Nothing is as good without you, Sean. When I’m with you, everything is brighter, sweeter.” She smiled a small smile. “I spent the week planning a trip I should have taken a long time ago, because being with you has shown me that I can’t put off what I want—what I need—another moment longer.”

She intercepted the pain moving across his face by placing his hands over her heart. “I want you, Sean. I need you.”

“But you just said you were leaving.”

“You know how I’m always saying and doing things no one else would? Well”—she shrugged—“turns out I couldn’t give up on hope when anyone else would have, either.” She couldn’t hold back her smile any longer. “I bought two round-the-world tickets. One for me. One for you.” She smiled even wider. “Looks like we’re going to have to see a whole lot of stuff real fast, before my legal name changes and my ticket isn’t valid anymore.”

Sean’s eyes were shining as he tested out her future married name: “Rebecca Murphy. I like the way that sounds. So is that a yes?”

Rebecca whispered, “Yes.”

She leaned in close to seal it with a kiss.

Two weeks later

S
tu threw them a heck of a going-away party at the inn. Rebecca and Sean’s bags were packed and they were due to fly to London that night on the red-eye. For the next several months, the world was theirs, ready to be explored hand-in-hand.

Rebecca looked around the room at her friends, then out the window at the lake. “All this time, I’ve been wanting to see the world. So then why do I wish we could just take our bags back upstairs and stay right here?”

Sean smiled at his fiancée. “It will all still be here when we come back,” he promised her.

It wasn’t just a promise; it was something he knew from experience. He’d tried to leave Emerald Lake behind, but he’d never succeeded. Rebecca was going to love the Eiffel Tower, the Tower of London, the beaches of Thailand, but nothing would ever take the place in her heart that this small Adirondack town held.

He wanted to say all of this to her, but before he could, his mother approached them. His parents were currently
living apart. After the Tapping of the Maples Festival, Bill had moved out of the house he’d built. He was now renting a cottage on the other side of the lake. Bill had come in earlier to say his good-byes, but he’d left before he and Elizabeth could run the risk of bumping into each other in the inn’s event room.

“I was just telling your brother what a lovely party this has been.” It was easy to see the sorrow behind her smile. “I’m so happy for both of you. We all are.”

Sean and his mother had been meeting every few days for coffee out on her porch. He knew how glad Rebecca was to see them trying to forge a new relationship. And he was glad, so glad, to see her face his mother with none of the anger that had been eating her up before.

He pulled Rebecca closer as she thanked his mother.

Suddenly, Elizabeth turned her gaze to him and said, “Your father and I have been talking. Not a lot, but more than we were last week.” Rebecca squeezed his hand as his mother added, “I’m hopeful that we’ll be able to make a new start. One day soon.”

Before either Sean or Rebecca could reply, she seemed to shake herself, putting on another smile all of them knew she didn’t really feel.

“Be sure to send me postcards,” she said, her hidden meaning of
Please let me be involved in your life in some way
not at all hidden.

Celeste came to say good-bye next, kissing both him and Rebecca on the cheek before saying, “Promise me something, Rebecca.”