Within a Captain's Hold (29 page)

“You are not.”

Alice pushed to her feet and pointed toward the stars. “In the eyes of God and the Crown, I am.” She swiped at her eyes. “The shot stopped him. He was on his knees. It was done. The captain freed his hands. I saw him. We could have gotten you away.” Alice drew a sharp breath, turning to face Annalise. “I picked up that sword. Something inside of me went cold and I pulled the cutlass out of its scabbard.” Tears ran unchecked. “It was heavy, but somehow I had the strength to lift it high.” Clawing torment sounded in her friend’s voice.

“You weren’t in your right mind.”

Alice shook her head wildly. “You’re wrong. I knew exactly what I was doing. I chose to kill Wolfsan. Knew just where to strike him. I could have stopped, but I didn’t, and I killed him with no remorse. I am a murderer.”

“No.” snapped Annalise. The blanket slid to the stone steps as she closed the distance between them and held Alice by the shoulders. “You had every reason to kill him. He was pure evil. He left a trail of bodies and broken lives in his wake, and you put an end to it. You saved me. Uncle Herbert. Nell. Cookie. You were their savior as well. Who knows how many lives he ended? You are not the murderer. He was.” Annalise started to cry. “You had to stop him. He would have killed Jaxon and you know what he would have done to me.”

“Don’t even think about that.” Alice wiped at Anna’s cheek.

The two touched foreheads.

“You’re everything that’s good. You’re brave and courageous. You’re a heroine,” Annalise whispered.

“So what do I do now?” Alice’s voice was small and desperate in the night.

“You’ll stay with me. I’ll take care of you. You’re my dearest friend, my sister. I love you. You never have to worry about anything ever again. You can be a lady.”

Alice pulled away and shook her head. “You still believe a new dress and gloves will make me a lady. It won’t. I was born and raised a servant. It is all I’ve known.”

“Not anymore.”

“Where will I go?”

Annalise smoothed Alice’s hair. “You’ll be with me. I’m never letting you leave my side again.”

“They’ll hang me in London.”

“I swear on my parent’s grave, they will not hang you in London. I promise. I’ll protect you.” She pulled her into an embrace and held tight. “I don’t know where we’ll go or what we’ll do, but you and I are together. We’ll work it out somehow. I give you my word.”

The two sat once more huddled together beneath the blanket, watching the stars follow each other across the sky.

“There is still one thing I need to know,” whispered Alice, giving her a nudge with her shoulder. “How is it you’ve come to love a pirate?”

Jaxon stood in the study, pouring another healthy drink of brandy. While his body screamed for the warmth of his bed and Annalise’s arms, his mind allowed neither. The dull ache in his ribs provided a steady reminder of his decision. It was for the best. Now, if only the ache in his heart would cease.

“Jaxon?” Annalise stood in the doorway, her fiery hair falling in curls. A blanket wrapped around her against the night’s chill. The hems of her nightgown were damp with dew, with her feet bare and petite, peeking out beneath. Another breathtaking image to recall on the long, cold nights to come.

“Why aren’t you sleeping?”

“I was waiting for you.” She took a step toward him. “Where did you go?”

The urge to sweep her into his arms and hold tight to her forever surged through him. He drained his glass and turned away to pour another. “I had business that I needed to attend to.”

“This late? Couldn’t it have waited until morning?”

“Nay, this couldn’t wait. The
Cornwall
sails on the noon tide.”

“The
Cornwall
?”

“I’ve secured a place for you and Mistress Tupper aboard the ship. You’ll be returning to London. That doesn’t leave you much time to pack your things, but if I remember, you prefer to travel light.”

Behind him, Annalise gasped. His words hit their mark. Better, that she leave hating him. “And if I refuse to go?”

He turned and met her gaze. The unshed tears in her eyes captured the flickering light of the fire.

“You have no choice. This is the best thing for all concerned. We discussed this already. It can’t be a surprise to you.”

“We didn’t discuss any of this. You decided in the midst of an argument. After all we’ve been through in the last day, you still want to send me away?”

“On the contrary. It made it clearer to me that you are not safe here. Wolfsan aside, this world is one of constant danger. Wolfsan is dead. The threat to you in London is gone. It’s only sensible for you to return and carry on with your life as it should be.”

“Love isn’t sensible. I need you. No world is without danger. If it’s my safety you’re after, I’ve never felt safer than when I am in your arms.”

“You need someone better. You deserve a fine, rich life, Annalise. Certainly better than the one I can offer you. I’m a rogue. The bastard spawn of a man who wants my head on a sterling plate and will only send more after me to fetch it. A thief who battles for everything I can get. It doesn’t matter what a scroll of royal parchment says. I’m a bloody pirate. I’m not worthy of a woman like you.”

“But you’re a lord now.”

He shook his head and swallowed the last of his drink. “You hold the ring. Our marriage is to be dissolved. You’ll be free to find a new marquis. A new husband.”

“I don’t want a new husband. I want--”

“My mind is made up.”

“With no regard to my feelings?”

“Anna…”

“And what of your feelings? Are you standing there after all we’ve been through, after all we’ve shared… Are you going to deny you love me?”

A band tightened across his chest. “What I feel or don’t feel has nothing to do with this.”

“It has everything to do with this. If you can look into my eyes and tell me that those nights we spent in each other’s arms meant nothing to you, that you don’t love me, I’ll raise the sails of the
Cornwall
myself.”

Jaxon looked into those shimmering eyes and remembered her lying in his cot aboard the
Scarlet Night
after they’d found her. Remembered the slow lifting of those rusty lashes to peer into their golden depths for the first time. She’d stolen his heart in that moment. The way they sparked when she got angry and notched that stubborn chin of hers. And how those same treasure-gold eyes gazed up into his on the night they’d wed. She’d reached clear in to touch his soul and made him want to shout out to the starry heavens that he was the luckiest man alive.

He held tight to that golden gaze. Wouldn’t look away. “I don’t love you.”

Annalise sucked in a sharp breath. The tear that spilled over her lashes was like a sword straight through his heart.

“I-I…” She swiped the tear from her cheek and notched that stubborn, maddening, beautiful chin. “Alice and I will be packed within the hour.”

Jaxon turned away from her and shut his eyes. He’d battled on the seas for years and seen the life drain from the eyes of a dying man, but he’d never forget the look on Anna’s face just now. It was sure to haunt him for the rest of his days. Keeping his back to her, he poured another drink.

The silence in the room screamed in his ears. It was as if all the air stopped. Time stopped. His life stopped. Behind him, she moved. Walking past him, she placed the lord’s ring upon the desk and whispered, “It’s true then…pirates never give back.”

When she left, Jaxon’s fingers closed over the ring. The thin band cut into his palm.

* * * *

The sun was making its climb when Jaxon lifted himself into the carriage. He carried a red sail wrapped bundle tied with twine. Annalise and Alice sat arm in arm. Their meager belongings packed at their feet. He and Anna hadn’t spoken, but Bates relayed the message reminding him they’d promised to visit Sarah before leaving. He meant to keep that promise. He had business there as well before heading to the docks.

Jaxon hadn’t told Annalise everything about the package Wolfsan delivered to him. If she knew it contained Cookie’s peg, she would carry yet another scar from that sick bastard. It was time to lay to rest the man who was more like a father to him than a friend. It was fitting that the sea claimed Cookie’s body, but the land that Cookie called home, his home with Sarah, was where his peg should lie.

When they arrived, Sarah stood out front waiting for them. She pulled Annalise from the cart and hugged her. Jaxon helped Alice down. Sarah turned to him and patted his shoulder. “You go do what ye has to do. Sam-u-el will show ye where.”

Sarah slipped her arm around Annalise’s waist and pulled her away. “The fire queen comes with me.” To Alice, she pointed to the open door of her colorful home. “I left a good drink for ye, inside.” She tugged at Annalise. “Come.”

Jaxon headed in the opposite direction, walking away from the path deep into the emerald underbrush. He didn’t believe Sarah’s mystical assurance that Cookie would show him anything. He’d find the proper place without any divine guidance.

But then he saw it, and the hair on his arms stood on end. He could almost hear Cookie laughing in his head. It was the perfect spot. A large palm soared above his head. Into the leathered bark, Cookie had carved his name with Sarah’s encircled with a heart like a young man’s first crush.

Jaxon used his knife and added the date of 1683 below Cookie’s name. He used the same knife to dig the hole in the soft sand where he placed his friend’s wooden leg.

“There. Now you can rest in peace, ye old sot.” Jaxon sat with his back to the tree and brushed the dirt from his knees. Jaxon smoothed the sand with his hand. “Ye scurvy bastard… What am I to do without your ugly mug in my face every day?”

Jaxon pulled his knees up and wrapped his arms around them. “I’m sorry it ended like it did. You didn’t deserve to die at the hands of that cowardly prick. You should have met your maker swinging over to some sweet French deck, rattling your sword and firing that fancy pearl-handled pistol you stole off that Spanish fop.

“I got it back from the prick, and I’m giving it to Robbins. You owe him. Nearly made the boy mad with your spirit talk. Perhaps now you can haunt him for real.” Jaxon tried to laugh, but it caught in his throat.

“Still busting my bullocks at how hard I’ve ‘fallen for a skirt.’ I’m sure you’d be giving me grief for the mess I’ve made of everything, too. Ye know she’ll be better off back in London away from here. Away from me. I can hear ye cussing, calling me a bloody fool. I could always count on you for that no matter how many times I threatened to remove your tongue. But you’d be right, I am a bloody, mule-headed, stupid fool. Even dead you’re still smarter than me.”

Jaxon sat for a time. Listening. It was time to go. He wiped his knife on his pants, stood, and slid it back into his boot. “Rest well, Samuel Cookie Burrows. My friend. I’ll miss you.”

* * * *

Sarah led Annalise along a path in the opposite direction from the one Jaxon had taken.

A large bird with red wings and a blue tail swooped in front of them. It flew into the green of the trees.

Leading her into a small grotto, Sarah reached into a stoned arch nearly hidden by vines and growth. She withdrew a bundle wrapped in a bit of bright fabric. Kissing it, she handed the bundle to her. “I want te give ye a gift.”

When Anna opened it, an exquisite gold necklace was inside, made from hammered links held together with disks of varying sizes, burnished and a soft buttery yellow.

“Sam-u-el gave dis to me. I want to give it te you.”

“I can’t take this.”Annalise shook her head.

Sarah’s dark face was solemn and wise. It seemed as if her eyes held the secrets of the world. “I want ye to have it. It is fit for a Fire Queen. It’s for you. Ye’re goin’ away, and I want ye to always remember me. And remember Sam-u-el, too. He says he luved ye like his own.” She pushed the necklace back at Annalise. “Ye need te remember.”

Tears filled her eyes. “I could never forget you, Sarah. Or Cookie.” She held the necklace to her heart. “Thank you.”

Then Sarah got an odd expression on her face. She ran her fingers from the top of Anna’s head, over her shoulders, and down her arms. Grasping Annalise’s hand, she laid a kiss in the palm and pressed it against the flat of Anna’s stomach. A wide smile graced Sarah’s round dark face.

Black-brown eyes sparkled into Anna’s. Sarah spoke low and soft. “Ye’re te have a man child. Wit the hair of flames and de eyes like de sky.”

Releasing her hands, Sarah patted Anna’s cheek and turned back toward her hut.

A myriad of emotions raced through Anna as she stood in stunned silence. A baby? Jaxon’s baby? The jungle’s colors and sounds surrounded her. “
Ye’re to have a man child. Wit the hair of flames and de eyes like de sky.
”

Her fingers splayed over her skirt. How could Sarah know? When she turned to ask, Sarah had disappeared.

Annalise rushed from the forest. Joy and heartbreak tore at her when she saw Jaxon waiting for her. She couldn’t tell him. It would change nothing, and yet it changed everything. If she could not love him, she would love his son. At least she’d have a part of him.

“Annalise?” Alice reached out to take her arm.

Jaxon’s gaze held hers. Would he guess? Could he see? “You’re as pale as chalk. Are you ill?”

“Where is Sarah?”

“She doesn’t like good-byes,” explained Jaxon. “Cookie told me she’d know before he did when he was leaving and disappear the day before. It’s her way.”

“But I wanted to ask her…tell her…”

“Whatever you wanted to say, she already knows. Come, it’s time.” Jaxon helped Alice into the carriage and turned to help Annalise.

She finished a farewell message to Sarah, rose, and brushed the dust from her skirts. “I’m ready.”

He paused. “Are you sure you’re well?” His eyes searched her face.

She wanted to tell him. Wanted to throw herself into his arms, tell him about the babe, and beg to stay. Beg him to love her. But she was stronger than that. Needed to be. She shook her head, refusing his hand, and climbed in to sit beside Alice. “I’m perfectly well.”