Within the Candle's Glow (21 page)

She stopped his flow of words with a hand cupped under his chin. With a slight movement, she raised his chin and made him look at her. “Are you
sure
? I want the truth, once and for all. Then it won’t be mentioned.” Her dark eyes shone with unshed tears.

“I’m sure. Oh,
God forgive me
.” He snugged his arms around her waist and laid his head in her lap, like a chastised child.

He felt her cool fingers smooth his hair and pat his head. A low chuckle came from her throat. “Son, we all need something to tap us on the head every once in a while—like an angry woodpecker. I knew your heart, but I’m willing to offer a release to you.”

He sat back on his boot heels and grinned. “I’m getting old. I forgot what’s important. I’ve got to weigh everything, like on a scale.”

“You’re not old. Twenty-one isn’t old.”

“Yes, it is when you consider I love a girl who was twelve when I first met her. Now … you know.”

“Jim, a mother knows her sons. I’ve kept your secret in my heart for some time. The gap between ages diminishes with time. Ella Dessa is turning out to be a beautiful young lady, wise beyond her years.”

Jim groaned. “Mother, can it stay a secret?”

“Yes, but I worry about the outcome. I know I have
two
sons in love with the same girl.”

“Samuel.” Jim sat back on the wood floor and swiped a hand over his face. “I was with Ella today; talked to her about my anger. I came so close to telling her how I felt. I stopped. I made it a joke. She’s more Samuel’s age. I think of him as immature. Then I look at her and him. They’re the same age, and I back away. There’s no one to take her place.”

“Sophie?”

He scrubbed a hand over his messy hair. “She’s pretty, fun to talk to, but I’ve never gotten close to Sophie. It’s Ella Dessa. I can’t shake her out of my head. I worried about her when she was a child, as I would a sister. Now, I want her as
my wife
.”

Mother drew in a ragged breath. “As does Samuel.”

“I know Samuel loves her.” He rested his arms on his bent knees. “He and I have never talked about how we feel, but I sense we each know. It’s been like a silent, teasing competition for years. I’ve tried forcing myself
to forget and make Sophie the one in my thoughts, but it don’t work.”

“No, the heart does its own thing.” Her eyes shone with tears, which spilled down her cheeks. “Your papa and I had a few talks about you, Samuel, and Ella Dessa. Ephraim understood how it was with you two boys. He worried and prayed. He loved Ella Dessa as a daughter. Wanted the best for her. Trouble is, he thought both of you were the best!” She chuckled and used her skirt hem to wipe her face. “Oh, I miss him.”

“Mother, what do I do?”

“Jim, I have no answer for you, except talk to God. In the end, it’ll have to be His will and Ella Dessa’s choice. Don’t fight Samuel for her or both of you will lose.”

The door opened, and Peggy came in with Phillip in tow. “Jim? Did you fall?”

He stood and tugged her red hair. “No, we were talking about how you don’t have supper fixed.”

The teenager placed her hands on her hips and glared. “Oh?”

“So—we decided I’ll mix a batch of slapjacks and feed the whole bunch. I found a honey tree, plus we have maple syrup. I will fry some of the hog I butchered.”

“
You will
?” She whirled toward their mother. “What’s wrong with him?”

Mother laughed and shrugged. “Don’t ask me. It’s a wonderful surprise.” She stood, whipped off her apron, and dropped it over the back of the rocker. “Come, Phillip, you and I are going to sit outside and watch the stars appear. Grab a coat. Jim, save some of the honey so I can make one batch of my honey soap.”

“Me and my big mouth.” He sighed in regret.

His sister waved to him. “Holler when it’s ready.”

“Where you going?”

“I got to tell the girls about our new cook.”

T
he first days of October brought a surprising icy chill and a light frost into the mountain cove, even with the full moon a week away.

The cold air managed to sneak through cracks in the store’s chinking. Ella wore her shawl. She dusted shelves and stocked them with new supplies, while reflecting on how life had changed since September.

She hummed while arranging axe heads and hammers along a rough-sawn shelf she cleaned. With the fireplace not far behind her, she was reluctant to move to another task. The sound of boots on the wooden front steps caused her to raise her head and look to the left. The small brass bell—attached to the door handle with a piece of rawhide—swayed and jingled.

Samuel stepped in, removed his hat, and turned to close the door.

“Hey, I like that.” He poked the miniature bell and made it swing from side to side, jingling one more time.

“Shut the door!”

“Oops! Sorry.” He closed it and rubbed his hands together. “Smart idea—the bell, that is.”

She smiled. “I hung it yesterday. I can hear it in the storage room.”

“The temperature dropped since this morning. Been busy?”

“Yes, Laura and Katy Stuart came to buy three ribbons and some
meal. A trapper wandered in and purchased a blanket.” She removed items from the second shelf and set them on the floor. “I thought you went home after school.”

“Naw, I stayed to talk to Konrad. He told me about a social Miles is having in his new barn—near ’bout two weeks from now.”

“Yes, I heard talk of it some time ago.” Ella turned her attention to the shelf, picked up a rag, and dipped it in a bucket of dingy, cold water. She wiped the splintered wood shelf. “I ground the coffee we got in from the last supply wagon. Do you think your mother needs some—‘fore it’s gone?”

“Don’t know.” Samuel twirled his hat. “Konrad says there’ll be food at the barn social.”

“
Hmm
, that’s right.” She headed to the back door with the bucket of water. “Agatha told us Miles is askin’ the women to bring baskets of food. They’ll be sold to buy supplies for the new school. He says he’ll plan a trip east to get what’s needed.”

“Who’s gonna buy these baskets?”

She grinned. “Why … the men, after they catch a whiff of what’s in them.”

Samuel followed her and opened the door. “Let me have that bucket.” He took it from her and tossed the dirty water out onto the hard dirt. “I got some saved. I’ll buy what you cook. Can you put a pie in it?”

“I could, but I’m not plannin’ on it.”

“Why?” He handed her the empty bucket and closed the door.

“Don’t care to.” She shivered. “That wind is bad.”

Josh’s stern, dark eyes came to mind. He had returned to the store twice in the past weeks, each time mentioning the dance. She slipped behind the front counter and set the bucket on the board floor.

“But, basket or no basket, you plan to go, right?”

“I might.” She pretended to examine a hay hook leaning against the wall. Walter had carved it and placed it in the store for sale.

“Then—go with me.”

“Haven’t decided to go.”

“Why? Everyone in Beckler’s Cove and the surroundin’ mountainside will go.” He tapped his knuckles on the wooden counter. “Look, forget the basket. Go with me. I know you don’t cook.”

“I do so cook!” She lifted an armful of material to a shelf on the wall.

“Say you’ll go with me.”

“No.”

“Want me to help you with that?”

“No.” She faced him. “I’m done.”

His eyes narrowed in speculation. “You won’t go with me? Have I got lice or some other problem?” He sniffed at his underarm and grinned.

“I’ll see you there.” She took a bolt of material from the shelf and laid it on the counter in front of Samuel. “Do you like
this
color?”

“Huh?”

“The
color
.” She rubbed her fingers over the smooth texture. The rusty-brown shade would soon match changing leaves. “It’s pretty. A fall color—right? Walter knows of a man in Richmond who sells bolts of cloth. Last fall Walter asked for a couple expensive ones to be sent with this year’s shipment. This is what’s left of one of ‘em.”

Samuel’s mouth opened and shut. He scowled and ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know. You’re changing the subject.”

“
Hmm
, do you like it?”

“Ahh, sure.”

“You ain’t soundin’ sure. Well, it’s the same shade as the new dress I made. I’ll be wearin’ it at the barn dance.”

With a hurt look in his green eyes, he said, “So … you’ll be there, but you won’t go with me?” He folded his arms across his broad chest.

“Samuel, it’d be nice, but no.” She wished she could accept his offer. Jim would never ask her. Having Samuel at her side would be fun. But Josh’s indirect warning kept skittering through her mind. She worried he’d cause a problem.

“You going with someone else? Who? Just tell me.”

“No one.”

“Who? That brother of Sophie Wald’s? Ethan? Gossip has it that he’s been seen in here too often.” Samuel banged his palm down on the counter. “You’d go with
him
?”

“He
never
asked me.” She glared at him. “I figger he likes Carrie. That’s why he comes here.”

“Oh, then who you going with?”

She rolled her eyes and sighed. “Carrie.”

“Why didn’t you just say that?” He appeared doubly hurt. “You’re going with
Carrie?
”

“Yes, we planned it last week. You waited ‘til now to speak up.”

“I—” He frowned. “So, Ethan didn’t ask Carrie?”

“No. I’ve been sewin’ every night to get a dress finished. Also helpin’ Carrie sew one.” She tapped the bolt of material. “
This
is the color of
mine.”

She lifted the bolt off the counter and returned it to the shelf. She fought tears. She couldn’t even accept Samuel’s offer—for fear of what Josh might do.

“That material matches your freckles.”

She half turned and wagged a finger at him. “Samuel McKnapp, I know you’ve got chores at home. You’d best be runnin’ on home, or Jim’ll come after you.”

“Naw.” He shook his head. “Jim went to the Wald farm to talk to Sophie. I passed him on the way here. He’s going over there more often.” A wide grin stretched his mouth. “Makes me happy. I heard Sophie’s mother whispering with Naomi. She was saying how Sophie
adores
my brother. I sure wanted to jump into the discussion, give her my two bits about him working me to death, but I didn’t.”

Ella felt like crying.
Things must be serious
.

She bent to retrieve a stack of woven grapevine baskets from the floor. “Samuel, I’ve work to do. Tell your mother ‘hello’ for me.” She walked away with the baskets clasped tight in her arms. One tear slipped down her cheek.

“See you tomorrow!” Samuel called.

She heard him go out the front door and hurried to finish dusting the shelves before Walter came to tally his journal. Samuel’s words echoed in her head. She told herself she couldn’t—just
couldn’t
—go to the barn dance and watch Jim dance with Sophie.

But how could she disappoint Carrie? Plus, her new dress hung from a peg beside her bed. It had been a symbol of her wildest dream that Jim would notice her at the dance. Now all hope was gone. She couldn’t compete with Sophie. The girl’s milky white skin didn’t have one flaw—let alone a ragged scar discoloring her neck.

Walter opened the back door. “You’re free to go. Velma and Agatha are in the kitchen. The children are pulling up the last of the garden and will be clamoring for the evening meal.”

She untied her apron. “I wrote the credits. I finished the bolts of material and arranged the tack ‘long the sidewall. Did some dustin’. There were only a few customers.”

“Ahh, God’s blessings are abundant. Tomorrow will be better. Saturday always is.” Walter opened his ledger, perched himself on a high stool at the counter, and dipped his quill in a bottle of ink. His steady hand copied her record into a ledger with a leather binding.

Ella watched him. “Do you need anythin’ else?”

“No.” Walter blotted the ink and smiled at her. “Ella Dessa, you’ve been a blessin’ to me. I once figured I’d hire a young man. When you tiptoed in here years ago, just a wistful, pretty girl, I couldn’t turn you away. Your blue eyes melted my stubborn heart,” he said, with a hearty chuckle.