Without Doubt (29 page)

I brush a few strands of her hair from her
beautiful face and she nuzzles her nose closer to my bare chest and
hikes her leg onto my thigh. I hear the front door open and then
whispering as footsteps climb the stairs. The door slowly creaks
open and I see Harper, with her crazy bed hair, exaggeratedly
tiptoe through the doorway. She lifts her little finger to her
puckered lips, telling me to be quiet. I silently chuckle because
let’s face it, this is the cutest kid ever. Macie stands against
the doorframe with a happy smile on her face, watching.

Harper finally reaches us and places her
tiny hand on Ava’s bare shoulder. She leans over and kisses Ava on
the cheek before whispering, “Mornin’, Momma!”

Ava’s eyes pop open, unfocussed as she
scrambles for the blankets and looks around her surroundings.
Harper finds this hilarious and starts giggling out of control.

I tighten my arms around Ava and kiss her
forehead. “You’re good, baby,” I whisper to ease her fears of
scarring Harper for life.

Macie comes farther into the room and
whispers into Harper’s ear.

Harper jumps up and down and yells, “Welcome
Home, Momma!” in a fit laughter. She’s still in her pajamas,
bouncing around, and Macie tries to get her to calm down.

Ava throws the blanket back and tells Harper
to come cuddle. Harper doesn’t hesitate. Ava’s been using this
phrase since birth I’m sure, because Harper always wants to
“cuddle.”

After we get Harper all tucked in with us on
the sofa, we thank Macie and she leaves us to reunite as a family.
Harper tells us all about her night with Auntie Macie and the
breakfast she wants to cook for us and the puppy she wants to get
and the baby doll she forgot at Auntie Macie’s and about the
princess she dreamed about and how Uncle Grey said crap and damn
and NiNi bought her a new purse… I need a nap already.

After cuddle time we all get up and dressed
and head downstairs for some breakfast. I make phone calls to get
everyone here for dinner and made sure that Deven knew we would be
there first thing Monday morning to sign all the necessary
documents to finalize all of this and then enjoy breakfast with my
family. We all sit at the breakfast table and ate in relative
silence. Ava and I probably look ridiculous just staring at one
another with silly grins on our faces that we can’t seem to get rid
of, although I doubt either of us are trying all that hard.

When we finish, I volunteer to clean up
Harper. Ava begins cleaning up the kitchen as I take Harper
upstairs to wash her up. Once that’s taken care of, we walk over to
our room and I pull out a little wooden box from a small drawer on
the top shelf in my closet. I placed it there months ago with a
plan. That plan has been altered, but the end prize still hopefully
the same.

I look down at Harper as she dances in
little ballet circles in my closet, completely oblivious to the
world around her. I open the box and pull out the heavy ring. I
know this ring is not Ava. The style, I mean. When I picked it out,
I had one thing in mind: to ward off all other guys. Period.
Someday I may get over that—probably not—but if today she’s willing
to put this on her finger, then later, at some point, she can buy
the ring she wants that doesn’t scream, “I’m taken, assholes!”

I kneel down to get eye level with my curly
haired little ballerina beauty. “Baby doll?” I say quietly.

She stops dancing, her eyes twinkling as she
smiles at me. “Hi, Daddy,” she says like she’s forgotten that I’ve
been in here with her the whole time.

“
I need you to do
something super important.”

She nods her head, her little curls bouncing
away. “Like a mission?”

A mission? Where does she get this shit?

“
Yes, baby, like a
mission. I need you to take this pretty and ask Momma to wear it.”
I place my palm in front of her with the ring sitting in the center
of it. The center stone is large and shining brightly from the
overhead lighting.

Harper’s eyes go to the size of saucers.
“It’s so spahkly, Daddy! I want one!” she says in amazement.

“
Maybe someday, baby, but
for now can you take this to Momma and tell her to wear it?” I’m
getting nervous about making my daughter do the dirty
work.

Harper gingerly takes the ring from my palm
as if she knows what that thing is worth and holds on tightly,
leaving me behind to go find her mom. She walks right up to Ava,
who’s sitting on the sofa in the family room, and thrusts the ring
in Ava’s face. “Here, Daddy said to wear this pretty,” she says,
none too excited now that she knows she’s not getting one for
herself anytime soon.

I see my two girls together holding a piece
of jewelry that will, in my mind, officially tie us together as a
family.

“
What, baby?” Ava asks
her, completely confused as she takes the ring from Harper’s tiny
hands and watches her bounce off.

“
I want one too!” Harper
yells as she takes off for the backyard.

Ava looks back down at the diamond-encrusted
ring. The center stone is a fancy yellow diamond in a cushion cut
surrounded by small white diamonds and then some more diamonds on
the band. It’s loud and it’s flashy but it’s also yellow, like the
sun, like my Sunshine.

I’m leaning against the archway that leads
into the family room and she hasn’t noticed me yet. Ava sits there
still curled up on the sofa, so beautiful, looking at the ring like
it’s an intense quiz. She’s thoroughly inspecting it; she hasn’t
put it on, but she hasn’t thrown it. I take that as a good sign. I
see her hands slightly tremble as she continues to hold it out in
front of her. Slowly, she lifts her head to me and I smile, walking
over to the kitchen as if nothing is happening. I’m not going to
make this a big deal.

“
Dec?” she calls quietly.
I can hear the tremble in her voice, but it sounds maybe like its
fear and that scares the shit out of me. “Is this…” she trails off
as if the words “engagement ring” won’t even come out of her
mouth.

I get a glass of ice water before I finish
her sentence for her. Definitely avoiding the obvious route she
would have taken if she were able to form the words, but oh well.
“It’s a ring that you put on this finger,” I say as I gently sit
down next to her, set down my glass, take the ring from her and
slip it on her ring finger, “so everyone will know that you’ve
agreed to be mine. You don’t need a contract, but I do. This is my
solution; my peace of mind.” I kiss her and she doesn’t move.

She blinks rapidly and continues to hold her
hand out right where I left it, mid-air. “But it’s an engagement
ring,” she says, still trying to sort it all out in her head.

“
If you need to call it
something, then yes it is, but we won’t be getting married, so it’s
really not.” I kiss her again. I want that look of confusion to go
away, so I kiss her until she caves and kisses me back
passionately.

Her hands cup my face and she whispers that
she loves me across my lips and I know that I’ve finally won.

“
Do you hate it?” I ask
regretfully.

“
Yes,” she says honestly.
“But I suppose it’ll do its job. I don’t see many suitors
approaching me with a kid on my hip and this on my finger,” Ava
says impassively. Then she laughs and kisses me some
more.

This is my life, one of my reasons for being
put on this earth, to love and protect this girl forever. The other
reason is barreling towards us, making her presence known. These
girls are without doubt my reasons for living.

Ava

Two weeks ago, Declan slipped this
ridiculous ring on my finger. It stunned me at first. Not only is
it not something even remotely close to what I would choose to
wear, but I really didn’t think he would go that far as to staking
his claim. Who was I kidding?

I knew my very modern views on marriage were
going to be blown to smithereens once it all fell into place for me
outside the courthouse. Once Dec slipped that silly ring on my
finger, I knew it wouldn’t be long that I did the same to him.

It took me about a week to come up with a
plan to surprise Declan to give him a wedding and the marriage that
I know he secretly longs for. Unlike myself, he comes from a long
line of happy, healthy marriages and I want to give that to
him.

Once the idea was formed, I took it over to
Nancy and she was ecstatic. We were going to go to Las Vegas and
get a wedding package from the Bellagio. The whole family,
including Jackson and Max’s families, would be coming with us. It’s
so beautiful there and really easy. We show up and they take care
of everything.

Nancy had called Macie over immediately and
we got online and started planning. Those plans went south quickly
and it was moved to Nancy’s home when she realized it was
completely taken care of and we had nothing to do but show up.
Okay, we can get married at her house; it’s lovely there. Then
Macie pointed out that the guest list wasn’t accurate and they were
missing people and the James’ yard was too small. So they began
searching for venues in the area while I sat back and drank my tea,
wishing it had vodka in it.

By the end of that first week, they had
booked a historic mansion hotel that would hold enough people and
would also allow Nancy to have a say in the decorations and meal
preparation. The problem is, my simple, no-iron gown I purchased
for a Vegas venue is no longer sufficient for this current venue.
Now I need save the date cards mailed out yesterday. I need
invitations, matching bridesmaid dresses, a music list, favors,
speeches, flowers, and a second dress for the reception (which is
just as fancy and equally as expensive). I need beauty
appointments, time off work, and I don’t even think my freakin’
lingerie is fancy enough anymore!

When Dec walks in from the gym, he finds me
sitting at the breakfast table still in my pajamas. It’s two
o’clock in the afternoon. I’m a mess. I’ve been crying from the
stress of all of this but I have myself under control for the time
being. I’m sure he can tell, though. I have binder upon binder of
wedding paraphernalia spread out on the table in front of me.

Declan walks in slowly and sets his gym bag
down on the floor before approaching me. “What’s going on,
Sunshine?” he asks, his eyes scanning the whole lot in front of
me.

I lift my head from the table to meet his
gaze. “I tried, Dec. I tried so hard to do this for you. And I love
them, I swear I do, but I just might kill them if I have to go
through three more weeks of this by myself.” I drop my head back
onto the table, causing a loud thud to ring through the quiet
room.

Declan steps closer to me, putting one hand
on my back and slowly caressing it, the other rummaging through all
the crap on the table. He drops down into the chair next to me and
scoots it closer before pulling me in front of him effectively
dragging my heavy head off of the table so I can look at him. He’s
smiling his stupid, happy, beautiful smile. I love that smile.
“Want to tell me what exactly you’re talking about, Sunshine?”

I should probably be nervous or embarrassed
or something girly, but I’m not. I’m spent. I look into his
gorgeous eyes, the same eyes that locked with mine nearly a year
ago back at Max’s before he even knew my name. The eyes that will
always turn my insides to excited flutters. “Will you marry me?” I
blurt out.

Declan chuckles and nods his head. “Yup,” he
says, the word popping from his smiling lips. My favorite smile
only widens.

“
Good, then you can deal
with your crazy sister and even crazier mother. I quit.” I drop my
upper half onto his lap and he laughs louder.

His strong arms wrap tightly around my
shoulders as he squeezes me with his excitement. “Have you been
crying, baby?” He’s stopped laughing and I hear his words laced
with concern.

“
Yes. I tried not to. I
didn’t want to be one of those brides, but good Lord, the stress of
this is too much. I tried for a quick Vegas wedding but now we’re
planning a big wedding in four weeks that normal brides do in a
year and half. I told your mom last week I wanted to go to Vegas
with the family and get the wedding package at the Bellagio, maybe
cost us ten grand if we foot bill for the hotel accommodations for
the guests.” I sit up and see him nodding his head in
agreement.

“
That sounds like a good
idea,” he says enthusiastically.

“
That’s what I thought,
but she and Macie now have a historic mansion booked for the
thirtieth of this month, by the way, and please don’t have a heart
attack, but this whole damn thing is going to cost us somewhere
around eighty thousand dollars.” I spit out that last part because
I still can’t wrap my brain around it. “I don’t even make that in a
year, Dec. I have to go buy two wedding dresses today, you know,
because it makes sense to have two dresses for the same damn day. I
also have to meet with the baker and pick out both of the cakes
because again one cake isn’t sufficient; nope, the groom needs his
own cake for some reason no one can explain to me. Macie insists
that two dresses means two different pairs of shoes. I mean, just
look at this, Declan! Look!” I throw my arms out in front of me,
gesturing towards the madness that’s spread out on my breakfast
table.

“
I see it, Sunshine. Come
here,” he says in his deep, calming tone as he stands up and pulls
me into his embrace.

For the first time in a week, I feel like I
can breathe again. I know I was doing this for him, to surprise
him, but it has been awful keeping this from him.