“He’s fine here¸” I offer, enjoying the feel of the baby in my arms. He’s growing so fast.
“He’ll sleep longer in his crib, and you guys can talk,” she replies easily and takes the baby from my arms. “Come on, Livie, we’ll put Keaton to bed and I’ll read you a story.”
“Ferdinand!” Livie exclaims as she holds her mom’s finger and walks with her out of the room.
“Liv’s on a Ferdinand kick,” Luke informs me. “I think Nat’s going to redecorate her room based on the book.”
“That’s fascinating,” I reply, ribbing my brother. “What other tid-bits do you have to share?”
“You’re an ass.” Luke laughs. “This is my life, man. Nap times and fictional bulls and the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen.”
“Nat’s great,” I reply seriously. “You couldn’t have done better than marrying her.”
“You’re damn right. If she ever tries to leave me, I’m going with her. This life doesn’t work without her.”
When his words sink in, I cover my mouth and try not to laugh too loudly, afraid of waking the baby. “’If she ever tries to leave me, I’m going with her
.
’ That’s awesome.”
“And completely true.” Luke offers me some pineapple from a bowl, and I take a slice, the juice reminding me of Mer’s pussy.
God, I fucking love her pussy. So sweet, so addictive
.
“How are things with Meredith?” he asks, as if he can read my mind.
“Good.” I shrug like it’s no big deal.
“What’s on your mind?”
“Nothing.”
He chews on a slice of pineapple. “You don’t show up at my house in the middle of the afternoon on a Friday for no reason.”
I chew the pineapple slowly, trying to verbalize the words that keep floating around in the back of my head.
“Spill it, for fuck’s sake,” Luke says with exasperation.
“Things with Mer are great…”
“But?”
“If something seems too good to be true, it usually is.”
Luke grows quiet. I glance up to find him watching me thoughtfully with narrowed eyes. “Do you think it’s too good to be true?”
“I think it’s happening fast, but I can’t seem to slow it down.”
“You’ve been in love with her since you were sixteen, man.”
“She’s not the same girl she was when she was sixteen, and I’m not the same either.”
“So you’re getting to know each other, and learn what’s changed, but at the heart of it, you’re still fundamentally the same people. Trust yourself. Trust your girl.” Luke shrugs as if it’s the easiest thing in the world. “I’m not saying be stupid about it. Keep your eyes and ears open, but you’ve found each other again after more than ten years apart. If it’s what you want, enjoy it.”
I nod thoughtfully and take another bite of the sweet fruit. “I know you’re right, but I can’t help but wonder when the other shoe is going to drop.”
“Why does it have to?”
“It doesn’t it’s just…” I push my hand through my hair and scrub my scalp with my fingertips. “What if something happens, like a job or
something
that takes her away again?”
“You still think she’d choose dance over you.”
Hearing Luke voice my deepest fear makes my mouth go dry. All I can do is jerk one shoulder up in a shrug.
“Part of learning each other is also learning to trust each other. Only time will do that.”
“I’m not a patient man.”
“I don’t know, you’ve been more patient than I would have been.” Luke grins and leans on the counter. “Enjoy her. Bring her for dinner some time. I always liked her.”
“I like her too,” Nat says as she joins us in the kitchen. “I got to page five in Ferdinand and Livie fell asleep too, so I get to have a grown up conversation now.”
“How are you, beautiful girl?” I ask and kiss her cheek. Luke’s eyes narrow and I can’t help but sling my arm over her shoulders and grin smugly at him.
“I’m good,” she says and hugs me around my waist.
“She likes me more,” I inform Luke.
“She tolerates you,” he says. “Like we all do.”
“Pshaw. I’m everyone’s favorite.” I kiss Nat’s head and then back away when Luke growls.
Even I know where the line is.
Natalie stands on her tiptoes and kisses Luke, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding on tight. When he comes up for air, she grins and says, “You’re the sexiest man I’ve ever seen.”
“She’s just saying that.”
Luke flips me off and kisses his wife, and I’m suddenly aware that with two sleeping kids, this is an opportunity for them to have some time for just them.
“I’m gonna head out. Mer should be just about ready.”
“Bring her for dinner next week. Monday?” Nat says.
“She’ll be in LA early next week,” I reply and ignore the way my stomach clenches with nerves. “Then we have Vegas next weekend.”
“Well then I’ll get to chat with her in Vegas.”
“Sounds good. Bye guys.”
They’re giggling before I even close the front door. They’ve been together for a few years now, and are as much in love today as they were the day they got married.
My brother’s a lucky bastard.
But so am I.
I park on the street outside the studio and walk inside and the sight before me steals my breath.
A popular Starla song is blaring on the speakers and Jax and Mer are dancing, perfectly synced with each other, looking into each other’s eyes.
They didn’t hear me come in. I lean back on the desk and watch avidly as they sway and drift around the floor, watching themselves in the mirror.
“Watch your arms!” Jax calls out, scrutinizing Meredith.
Her arms look good to me.
The song is haunting, about love gone horribly wrong, and the dance has been translated to reflect it, portraying abuse and betrayal. The choreography is flawless, and when Jax moves like he’s hitting Mer across the face, it looks almost real.
My hands and jaw clench as they continue through the dance, and suddenly Jax lifts Mer up over his head and throws her, and she falls on her ass.
“Son of a mother fucker!” she yells, surprising the hell out of me.
“You’re not concentrating,” Jax says and stops the music. “We did this same move four years ago during the “Love’s Kiss” routine.”
“Not with the combination that comes before it. I can’t get my bearings in time for you to throw me like that, Jax, and I’m telling you, Starla won’t either.”
“What if we cut the half turn right before it?”
She leans her elbows on her knees and thinks it over for a minute. “Yeah, that could work.”
“Again.” Jax holds his hand out for her and lifts her to her feet. The music begins from the top, and they begin the routine again.
They are magnificent. The love and friendship they share shines through in their dance. They trust each other.
Part of me is jealous that I’ll never have this connection with Meredith, and the other part of me is just so fucking proud of her and thankful that she’s found this with Jax.
They approach the throw and change up the steps leading up to it, so when he throws her this time, she lands on her feet and they finish the routine flawlessly.
“Yes!” she yells and runs into Jax’s arms, hugging him tight.
“There we go,” he says and hugs her back. “God, you’re so good, cupcake.”
I begin to applaud in earnest, smiling wide and they glance over in surprise.
“Oh my God!” Mer runs to me and jumps in my arms, her arms and legs wrapped around me and kisses me hard. “I didn’t see you come in.”
“You were busy,” I reply.
“I landed the throw!”
“I saw. It’s awesome.”
“I can’t wait to show Starla. She’s going to go ape-shit,” she says excitedly and kisses me again then buries her face in my neck and takes a deep breath. “You smell good.”
“You…
don’t
,” I reply with a chuckle.
“I know. I’m going to go take a quick shower and then I’ll be ready.” I set her down and she jogs to the back of the building.
“It’s a great routine, man,” I say to Jax.
“Thank you. She’s a dream to work with.” Jax wipes his face and bare chest with a towel then loops it around his neck. “Gonna keep her out again all weekend?”
I prop my hands on my hips and watch the man before me for a long moment. “Yes.”
He nods once and begins to walk away, but I decide to confront this here and now.
“What’s the problem?” I ask quietly.
He stops in his tracks, his back to me and slowly turns to face me. “I don’t know you,” he begins and keeps his eyes trained on mine.
I have to respect a man who maintains eye contact and isn’t afraid to stand his ground.
“I don’t know what your intentions are. You say you love her. You spend every waking moment that you aren’t working together.” He frowns as though he’s searching for the words and I cross my arms over my chest, waiting. “She’s consumed by you right now and—”
“And you’re jealous?”
“I’m concerned.”
“About what, exactly?”
“What
are
your intentions with her?”
“I’m going to be with her until the day I die,” I say honestly without even thinking about it. He blinks, clearly surprised by my response and then sighs deeply.
“I’m fucking jealous, yeah,” he says and wipes the towel over his hair. “Not because I want her the way you do, but because for a long time, it was just her and me, dealing with life and we were doing just fine. You need to know, man, I’m here for the long haul. Meredith is my only family, and I’m hers.”
I nod, but he keeps talking.
“Don’t misunderstand me. I have living relatives, but do you know what happens to a gay kid who loves to dance in the Deep South?”
I raise a brow. “Enlighten me.”
He swears under his breath and paces away then paces back. “They get the shit kicked out of them every fucking day. Their parents disown them and claim they’re a blasphemous abomination.” He laughs humorlessly and shakes his head. “Meredith is my sister. She’s my best friend. She’s the first person who has accepted and loved me just the way I am. She’s my confidant, and I trust her implicitly, and you need to know, I don’t trust many. And over the past ten years, I’ve been that for her too. She missed you every fucking day. Every time she got drunk, which I think was exactly four times, she did nothing but talk about
you.
” He points at me and I just don’t know what to say. “The guys who made their way into her pants were worthless assholes, and out of her life before the sheets cooled. It’s only been you for her, and I’ll be Goddamned if I’m going to stand by and watch you let her fall in love with you all over again unless you plan to also be around for the long haul because she doesn’t deserve anything less.”
He’s panting now, his eyes feral with protective anger and frustration. I’ve respected few more than I respect him in this moment.
“I don’t deserve her. I’m not good enough for her because no one will ever be,” I reply calmly. “But I missed her every fucking day too. I don’t know if I believe in soul mates, but she belongs with me. She belongs
to
me.” I shrug and hold my hands out as if in surrender. “I don’t know what else to say to you. I can tell you that I would take my own life before I’d ever deliberately hurt her.”
There are tears in Jax’s eyes as he watches my face and finally he nods and scrubs his face with the ends of the towel. “Fine. I don’t have any reason not to believe you.”
“I’ll never give you one.”
“I smell so much better!” Mer exclaims and comes running out of the back, then stops and looks between us. “Am I interrupting?”
“Nope, just more guy talk,” I reply and smile down at her as I tuck her against my side.
“What are you doing tonight?” Mer asks Jax.
“Logan and I are going out to dinner,” he replies and checks the clock on the wall. “I’d better hit the shower myself.”
“Why don’t we all go out together?” I ask. Jax’s head whips up in surprise. “If you don’t mind us crashing your dinner.”
“Yes!” Meredith agrees and nods. “We talked about doing dinner this weekend anyway.”
“Are you sure?” Jax asks.
I nod and kiss Mer’s hair then smile at Jax. “I could use some guy time.”
“Your girlfriend accused me of being a girl the other night. She almost made me watch Pretty Woman.”
“No man should have to endure that,” I reply with a shudder.
“I know, right? I’ll call Logan and take a quick shower.”
“Cool.”
He jogs away and Mer looks up at me, searching my face.
“What just happened?”
“I think I just bonded with your best friend.”
“Really?” She grins widely, ridiculously pleased.
“Yeah, we should hang out with Jax more often. He’s cool.”
“Okay.” She frowns and searches my face again then shrugs and walks behind the desk to collect her handbag. “I haven’t met Logan yet. But he sounds really nice.”