“I didn’t creep.”
“What are you, a lawyer or a slammin’ hot accountant?”
“Oh, I never could have handled law school,” she said, appalled. She shook her head. “Too many gray areas. Accounting, at least, is black and white. One of the few jobs that
is
, really. Nothing like social work, or medicine.”
Edward sighed and ripped his fingers through his hair so fast she was worried he might accidentally scalp himself. Or give himself a friction burn. He took a deep breath—
Forced calm. Anxiety. Irritation.
—and started again.
“Okay, Rachael. From the beginning. You skulked into town . . .”
“I
drove
my
rental car
to the chamber of
commerce
, where I met with a . . .”
Pack member,
she’d been about to say, but her secrets were her own to share. She had no business outing any other Pack members to Edward without their permission. “. . . a woman who had sort of prepared the way for me. She’d set up my living arrangements and was trying to get some clients for me. I didn’t know if I’d be here for a week or a year or a decade, so I needed to try to build a bigger client base.”
He nodded, reached up, and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “Okay . . .”
She loved that he did that. She loved that he didn’t know he did that.
“And then, once I knew where I was going to be living, I got settled in—didn’t take long, I can tell you.” She sort of gestured to the basement. “You’ve seen it.”
“Yup. And . . . ?”
“And I made note of the address from the newsletter. I kept it.”
“Which you had because . . .”
“My cousin is our Pack leader. He’s the boss werewolf. He had one and he made me a copy.”
“Unreal,” Edward muttered, passing his hand over his eyes as if getting a headache. “Vampires are either fearless or stupid or maybe both.”
“I,” she retorted, “am not arguing. So I had the newsletter, I had her address. I MapQuested it, walked there since my apartment is only two blocks away from her mansion—far enough away so I’m not in their line of sight, but close enough so I can get there in a hurry if I have to. Or leave in a hurry if I have to. It’s a huge neighborhood. It’s not hard to lose someone if you have to.”
“Logical,” Edward said, nodding. Then he jabbed a finger in her direction. “But still sinister.”
Rachael sighed and peeked at the moon again. She didn’t have to, not really. She could have been in an underground bunker (which maybe the hobbit hole was, come to think of it) and would have known exactly what phase the moon was in at all times. Still, she had to look. The moon was her jailor and her lover.
“Then I rang the doorbell and was courteously let inside.”
“You didn’t call.”
“No.”
“They had no idea you were coming.”
“No.”
“Fearless or stupid.”
“Yes, or something beyond that, something we can’t understand. Perhaps it’s because they live so much longer than we do. Their slow—nonexistent, even?—metabolism spreads a different message. They have perspective we don’t have. Or can’t understand.”
“Yeah, maybe. That’s . . .” He trailed off, thought about it. “That’s interesting. Huh. So they let you in.”
“Yes. Because, see, I didn’t know it at the time, but they thought I was there to collect . . . This is going to sound complicated, but another Pack member used to live with them. They thought I’d come for her things. They weren’t surprised to see me. And they weren’t afraid, either. When I realized that, I decided to come back another time. I wanted to think about what I’d seen. I wanted to ponder what they’d done, and what they hadn’t done. So I left.”
“You saw the queen, though?”
“And her assistant, and a pregnant woman. And a . . .” She paused. Thought about it. Went ahead anyway. “I don’t expect you to believe me, because you haven’t believed anything I’ve said today, but I also saw a for-real
zombie
!”
“I know, right?” he cried, his hands on her shoulders, almost shaking her in his excitement. “Really good-looking guy, green eyes and scrubs? Right?”
“Amazing!”
“I knoooow!” He realized they were nose to nose and pulled back. “Okay. So we can agree that whole zombie thing was cool and weird.”
“Very cool,” she agreed. “And very weird. I didn’t even know there were zombies.”
“Jeez.” He was watching her in that strange way again, as though he couldn’t make up his mind if she was a freak or a find, or both. “If you’re lying, you’re the best I’ve ever seen.”
“I’m not lying.” She tossed her head. “But I
am
the best you’ve ever seen.”
He laughed, surprising them both. Then sobered almost at once. She was sorry. But at least he was—
concern concern puzzlement concern perplexity
—listening. At least he was trying to keep an open mind, even if he truly didn’t know what to think.
“You said your Pack leader, you said he sent you out here. To Minnesota. Why?”
“We’re cousins. He trusts me and he knew I’d do what he asked for love, not duty. He knew I wouldn’t want to go, but he also knew I wouldn’t let that get in the way of the work.”
“Yeah? So you guys are close?”
“Yes,” she said simply. There were too many things to explain in the course of one evening, especially
that
evening, and Pack dynamics were one of them.
“Are you gonna get in trouble for telling me all your secrets?”
“I’m not,” she replied, amused. “There isn’t time to tell you all my secrets. But if there was, the answer would be no. He loves me and he trusts my judgment.”
“I can see why he loves you.” Edward nodded. “Who wouldn’t?”
Oh, Edward. Do you even know what you just admitted to me? And the answer is, lots of people. Lots of people wouldn’t. Daresay couldn’t? But I love that you can’t understand that.
“But,” he continued, “why send anybody?”
“Because the last werewolf he sent to keep an eye on the vampire queen turned up dead in less than two years.
“What?”
Thirty-eight
She nodded. “It’s true.”
“Jesus!”
Worry. Worry. Fear. Fear. Worry.
“They killed her?”
“No. She took a bullet for the queen.”
“She did what?”
“I know. She died. We’re a hardy bunch, Edward, and we can take a lot of punishment compared to your kind, but even we can’t grow our own frontal lobes back.”
For a moment she thought he was going to fall off the bench. His look of shock and horror did more than touch her heart; it gave it a cramp.
Oh, Edward. You’re too good.
“And he asked you anyway?”
“Yes.”
“And you went?”
“Of course.”
“Because you’re his cousin and he knew you’d go.”
“Yes!” she said, pleased he was catching on.
“Then he’s a prick and I’m going to beat the shit out of him!” the accountant roared. “I am not believing this shit even as I’m hearing it! He’s a dead man, Rache! That shit! That fucker!”
“But that’s so sweet! Truly, Edward. I love that you said that. But you mustn’t be mad at him.”
“Yeah? Mustn’t I? Just watch.”
“My duty became my pleasure about five seconds after I met you. If I’d known you were waiting, I would have come here much sooner.
“Ah, Edward. Stop me if you’ve heard this . . .”
“ ‘I’m not the vampire queen’?” he guessed.
“Well, yes. But also, you’re too good. Anyone else would have greeted me with a stake through my upper ribs.”
“Yeah, well. It’s not even the weekend yet. So then what? We’ll get back to your asshole cousin. What happened after you met them?”
“When we finished ‘visiting,’ I let myself out. I wasn’t so much gathering info as I was indulging in a quick gossip with the gals (and zombie). Which is when you spotted me.”
“No, because I didn’t see you then. I saw you the next day. Right?”
“Ah! Yes. Because after bluff sex, my contact in downtown St. Paul texted me about another murder. I realized that my wanting to see you had actually cost some poor creature her life. When I realized the depth of my carelessness, I went back to the mansion straightaway.”
“Me, too, me, too!” he interrupted excitedly. “I’d blown off calling Boo because I didn’t have the smoking gun. Any gun. So I wanted to see what else I could find out. That’s when I spotted you.” This time he was the one to sigh. It sounded like a soft breeze through a cemetery.
“That’s when I knew it was all over but the cleanup. You . . . and me . . .” She opened her mouth to interrupt, but he shook his head. “I might have given her the wrong information on purpose. I mean, to delay her. Which I’ll pay and pay and pay and pay for. But we’ve got a little time now. I figured I’d let Boo come and just get out of the way and let her do what she does. You know, like Hoover brand vacuum. But I couldn’t . . .” He was looking into her eyes as his own shone with tears that hadn’t dropped. “I couldn’t just . . .”
“Throw me to the wolves?” she guessed. “So to speak?”
“And here we are.”
Her heart didn’t break, nothing that dramatic, but it did get a tiny cramp when she took in Edward’s crestfallen expression.
He really wanted to believe in a world right out of a Xanth novel and, of course, wanted the truth here and there, but could never hide how bummed he was to discover yet another thing he relied upon was about as interesting and romantic and magical as track lighting.
The latest reality check? The mystery gal is just another spy spotted in the wrong place. It’s nothing. No, it’s even worse than nothing . . . it’s explainable.
Edward’s problem isn’t that magic isn’t magical,
she thought with deep sympathy.
His problem is, he’s the biggest romantic I’ve ever met. He wants knights to slay dragons and then marry the Maiden Fair and live happily ever after. He wants all that, he would live for all that. He doesn’t want to back up servers and coordinate audits.
But no matter what it is, what paranormal stereotype he encounters, it’s always both more than it seems, and less.
“This time I was able to warn them—the vampires—and they warned me. They knew you were out there.”
“Aw, man.” He shook his head with a rueful half smile. “And here I thought I’d been so sly.”
“Nope. Don’t feel bad; you weren’t bred for that sort of thing. That’s when I—” She paused. Took another look at his expression. “Well, they told me that one of them was taking care of you. I was—I didn’t know what that meant. I was afraid I did know. So I . . .”
“Rode to my rescue?” Edward clasped his hands to his chest and sighed as he fluttered his eyelashes. Typical of men who don’t give a shit about such things, he had long, lush eyelashes, the lucky bastard. “Did you, Rache? Ride to my rescue on your . . . uh . . . steed?”
“Turned my back on one of them long enough for her to clip me with a sturdy knife handle,” she said dryly.
“
Her
being the vampire queen?”
“Oh, no. No, it was her friend, the beautiful little blond girl who dresses like she’s late for Catholic school.”
“Um . . . okay. We’re gonna circle back to that, because I didn’t get to meet that one, wouldn’t you know it.”
“I can’t see the queen throwing a knife at anyone,” she admitted. “A bottle of nail polish, maybe.”
“But one of them did.”
“Yes. My own stupid fault for turning my back on people I knew to be predators. I deserved worse for forgetting such a fundamental rule of survival.” She shook her head, disgusted. “Must be old age setting in.”
“Ha! What are you, twenty-four, twenty-five?”
“You’re adorable. Thirty.” Of course, the jailbait vampire could have a hundred years on her for all Rachael knew. “It was humbling beyond belief.”
“One of them . . . just so I’m following the sequence of events, here . . . one of them threw a knife. At your head.”
“Well, yes. But it’s not as bad as it sounds.”
“Rachael!”
“It’s not,” she insisted. “For one thing, she could have flipped the blade. Having the pointy end zip through the back of my skull would have put a sizeable damper on my day.”
Edward was pressing his hands to his face. “I’m pretty sure you’re giving me a migraine. I’m . . . I’ve got to tell you . . . aw, man, I’m having a freak-out aneurysm here! I can’t decide which thing to yell at you about first.”
“There is kind of a long list,” she admitted. “I’m sorry for adding to it.”