Wolf Ways (The Madison Wolves Book 9)

It had been a tumultuous several months. In a most shocking fashion, I had discovered that werewolves were real, living right here in Madison, Wisconsin. In a rapid sequence of events, I also discovered they were just people with their own problems and that they were just as afraid of me as I was of them. I met the pack co-alphas, a powerful werewolf named Lara and an intriguing werefox called Michaela.

It was all quite a lot to absorb.

The shocks didn’t stop when they “invited” me into the pack, one of a small number of humans who knew their secrets.

In the three months since, summer had hit its peak and begun to wane. I’d been “invited” to pack play night once a month and dinners with the alphas much, much more often. Elisabeth had let me know that invitations from the alphas weren’t something I should decline, and so, with a great deal of trepidation, I had accepted every invitation. Along the way, it was clear Michaela was encouraging a romantic relationship between Elisabeth, her sister-in-law, and me.

But there were several realities I couldn’t shake. First and foremost, I hadn’t fully forgiven either Lara or Elisabeth for the way I had been treated. I’d spent a week sure they were going to kill me, and I believe it had come down to the flip of a coin that had spared my life.

I wasn’t sure I had really forgiven any of them for their roles in the events, although I was less bitter towards the others. They had acted like friends to me while the entire time they were spying on me. It was particularly difficult for me to be around Karen, who had terrified me sufficiently that I had been violently ill from fear. And even when forced to attend pack events, I actively avoided Lara, hoping she wouldn’t notice me.

I probably wasn’t being entirely fair. From the moment Lara declared I was a full member of the pack, everyone had treated me with gentleness and respect. I was welcomed to events with hugs. I received invitations to other events, although I was more able to decline, as they didn’t carry the command of one of Michaela’s invitations.

They even had gone well out of their way to cook food I could eat, and they continued to do so any time I was expected. They didn’t change their own dining habits, and I would never have expected nor asked them too. But there was always plenty of food for a vegan.

A vegan member of a werewolf pack: I knew it was a joke. That was the least of my concerns.

It was another reality that Lara continued to terrify me. She could order me killed for any reason at all. I’d been assured I had nothing to worry about, provided I never gave up their secrets, but I didn’t believe them. I didn’t believe any of them. After all, they had pretended to be my friend while deciding my fate. How could I possibly trust them?

My attitude wasn’t improved by the surety they continued to spy on me. Lara told me the apartment wasn’t bugged, but I didn’t believe that. I was sure they left tracers on my computer and phone as well. But I wasn’t sufficiently tech-savvy to find proof. I simply couldn’t believe they weren’t closely monitoring.

In spite of all this, I was fascinated. I was deeply fascinated. They were stunning. In fur, all of them were stunning. Well, Michaela wasn’t, but she was gorgeous, truly gorgeous, and every time I saw her in fur, I itched to hold her.

But it wasn’t like she was a pet fox.

And Elisabeth was magnificent in both her forms. I could be pleased looking at her for hours and hours.

But I knew I didn’t fit in.

Unexpected Visitor

I must admit: there were advantages to being a member of the Madison werewolf pack. The first was monetary. Lara had insisted I move from my very insecure apartment to a far nicer, two-bedroom apartment in an extremely secure building, and she paid for it as well. I had a fabulous apartment with full utilities for a dollar a year. My apartment was the headquarters for GreEN of Wisconsin, and Lara treated the apartment as a donation to GreEN.

I’d also been getting calls from various pack members to practice my professional skills. I made my living taking and selling nature photographs, and the members of the pack wanted photos of their loved ones, in fur, in natural settings. I was sure there were other photographers in the pack, and so I came to the conclusion they were asking me as a means of helping to support me.

I didn’t understand why, but I took the work and then gave them my very best.

My web site sales increased as well, with most of the increase from local addresses, although some were national.

And so GreEN profited through a cost savings, no longer paying for my apartment slash GreEN state headquarters. I profited by living in a much nicer, safer apartment and having more paying work and money I didn’t know how to spend. Not that I was getting rich, but for the first time in years, I wasn’t quite living hand to mouth. It was a heady experience.

Membership in the pack comes with responsibilities, including the requirement to tithe. Lara insisted I tithe through pack service, suggesting I spend two days a month. And so it had only been a couple of weeks later that Michaela called me and told me how I would begin my service: she had a weekend nature outing with her school children, and I would be going along to assist.

And from it, I found myself facing another advantage of pack membership. Michaela began assigning me “interns” for my own events, the things I did for GreEN. And so I found myself with exceedingly able sets of hands at every event, and those hands were owned by intelligent, respectful teenagers, any one of which could have snapped me like a twig, but all of whom were far more interested and knowledgeable about nature than any teenagers I’d ever met.

It wasn’t all bad being a member of the pack.

* * * *

But that didn’t mean it wasn’t damned intimidating.

That point was brought home one Thursday afternoon in late August. My front doorbell buzzed.

At the time, I was working on yet another mailing, not asking for money, but simply asking people to help spread the word about GreEN. I wanted a larger mailing list so I could have greater penetration throughout Wisconsin.

The environment was in danger from every corner, and the only way we were going to save it was through public awareness.

My doorbell shouldn’t have buzzed. I wasn’t expecting anyone. And theoretically, no one should be able to get into the building without the guard’s approval, and he always called me to warn me someone was coming.

I glanced at my phone. It was working, and there were no signs anyone had called.

There weren’t very many people who could get into the building without the guard announcing them. Even when several pack enforcers had arrived as a housewarming, the guard had announced them before sending them up.

An unexpected buzz was not a good sign, and I briefly wondered if there was any way I could outrun whatever trouble was waiting for me.

And so, my heart hammering in my chest, I made my way to the door and used the peephole.

I was surprised to find Michaela standing there, and she looked annoyed, her lips pressed together, and she was stepping from foot to foot. What was odd was the complete, utter lack of her security detail.

What was the pack alpha doing on my doorstep?

I sighed and opened the door.

“Hello, Alpha,” I said. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

“Of course you weren’t. Let me in.” She didn’t wait for a proper invitation but half pushed me away from the door as she stepped into my apartment. Then she closed the door and secured each of the locks. She cocked her head for just a moment then turned to me. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“Of course,” I said. “Come in. Would you like something to drink?”

“Just water,” the tiny woman said. She moved past me, except when she moved, it was more like she flowed past me. She was astoundingly graceful, and for a moment I stared, pleased to just watch her move. She made it to the center of the living room before she realized I hadn’t taken a step. She turned to watch me.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “You’re just so…”

“Yes?”

“It’s hard to take my eyes off you, Michaela. The way you move. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t stare.”

She smiled. “Are you appealing to my vanity?”

“You are the most graceful woman I have ever met,” I countered. “All of you are amazing, but the wolves are so big. Watching them is different.”

Her smiled broadened. “Well,” she said. “Thank you. Now, about that water…”

“Of course, Alpha. Just one moment. I’m sorry, all I have is tap.”

“Tap is fine.”

“Ice?”

“No thank you.”

I retrieved water for both of us, unsure why she was there. By the time I returned to the living room, she was seated on the sofa, looking quite relaxed. I took one of the easy chairs after handing over one of the glasses. She took a deep drink then set it down on a waiting coaster.

“We don’t have long,” she said. “I am sure my security detail will be here in fifteen or twenty minutes, if not sooner.”

I wasn’t sure if I should ask, but curiosity won over caution. “Where are they?”

“Well, until five minutes ago, I imagine they were running all over East Town Mall, wondering what had happened to me, although they could still be back at the compound.”

“I think I’m confused.”

“There are times Lara and I have mild disagreements.”

“That would be a natural part of any relationship.”

“There are times the disagreements aren’t exactly mild.”

“All right,” I said cautiously.

“And my preferred method of cooling down is to spend time alone.”

“You ditched your security detail.”

She nodded. “I ditched my security detail.” She put on an angelic smile. “Somehow — I’m sure I couldn’t tell you how — I managed to drive out of the compound without an escort. I did a microsecond of shopping at East Town Mall then took a cab here.” Then she frowned. “I imagine Vincent down at the front desk has tattled on me, and who knows how many enforcers are on the way to return me into their collective embrace.”

And she had come to me? Was I going to be in trouble? I imagined my trepidation showed across my face. Michaela leaned forward and patted my knee.

“Don’t worry. You won’t be in any trouble. But I imagine your girlfriend, my wife, and my head of security will have words for me.”

I didn’t correct the alpha; Elisabeth was not my girlfriend, even if I’d let her take me out a few times since everything had happened. She hadn’t spent the night, however.

“A cab?”

“Well, I couldn’t make it too easy to track me. Elisabeth puts tracking devices on my car.”

“Oh.” I thought about it. “Why did you come here, if you knew Vincent would report you?”

“Ah, excellent question. First, I wanted to talk to you. And second, I want them to find me. They make it increasingly difficult to lose them, but every time I put in a real effort, I still manage it. If they would just learn to accept the inevitable when I tell them I want to be alone, we wouldn’t have to play these games. But when they find me here, they’ll know it’s because I let them. And third, they won’t yell at me in front of you, or at least not too loudly.” She grinned at that.

It was all very confusing, and I wasn’t sure what to say.

Michaela cocked her head, and her smile faded. “Why were you not at dinner last night?”

“I wasn’t invited, Alpha.”

She frowned.

“Or if I was, I didn’t recognize it as an invitation,” I added quickly.

I’d actually been relieved I hadn’t been commanded to attend dinner. I tried to put on a happy face whenever I was around any of the pack members, but I spent most of the time frightened and jumpy.

“I’m not here as the pack alpha, Zoe.”

I looked down submissively. I wasn’t going to argue with her. As far as I was concerned, she was always the alpha. When I didn’t say anything, she went on.

“Zoe, I understand what you’re feeling. You’re afraid. I was afraid, too.” She paused. “I go to therapy. I’m down to once a week, but for a few years it was daily.”

I looked up. “Why?”

“My history before meeting Lara was violent. Werewolves are not always nice people. We don’t have time to talk about it today. But I want you to know that I understand. My biggest fear is that Lara will stop loving me and withdraw her protection, and then the entire pack will turn on me.”

I stared at her, my mouth opening and closing a few times.

“Intellectually, I know that’s never going to happen,” Michaela continued. “Sometimes fear is rational; sometime it’s not. I will probably carry that fear into old age. The thing is, Lara has as much honor as anyone I’ve ever met. She would never, ever turn on someone like that. Even if we had such a falling out that we couldn’t recover our marriage, she would still keep me safe.”

She paused. “You have the same fear, or one very close to it. Don’t you?”

I nodded slowly.

“Your fear is somewhat more rational than mine. You don’t have as many reasons for your fear, but you have neither the same reasons to set it aside as I do nor have you had the time for trust to grow.”

I looked away, saying nothing.

“Zoe, you are safe, at least from us.”

I didn’t respond to that.

“I know it’s going to take time to believe that. Do you know why I keep inviting you for Wednesday dinners?”

“No.”

She paused a moment then said, “Look at me, Zoe.”

I turned my head back to face her, slowly raising my eyes.

“I am very, very good at telling when someone is lying to me.”

“Alpha-”

She sighed. “Do you know why I keep inviting you to Wednesday dinners?”

I nodded. “You’re playing matchmaker between Elisabeth and me.”

“That’s part of it. Let’s come back to that. I also know that settling in with the pack takes time and familiarity. You aren’t going to get that if you’re only around us once a month. And you really aren’t going to settle in if you don’t come on pack play nights.”

“I come every time you invite me, Alpha.”

“And you turn down every offer that doesn’t carry the command of the alpha.”

I looked down. “Are you angry with me?”

“No, Zoe, although I wish you would understand I am trying to be your friend. So is everyone else who invites you to something.”

I didn’t say anything, and she let out a noise I’d learned was a wolf way of expressing displeasure. My apprehension increased. I wondered if she could smell it. If so, she didn’t say anything.

“Zoe, do you think you could try to be engaged in this conversation?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Yes, you do,” she replied. “You’re closing up, probably because you’re afraid of saying something to displease me.”

She had me with that.

“Zoe, damn it, look at me.”

I snapped my eyes up to hers.

“Nothing bad is going to happen to you if you speak honestly with me.”

“Frankly, Alpha, I don’t believe you.” Damn it. I hadn’t meant to say anything like that.

Michaela leaned back in her seat, studying me. “Let me put it this way. We are having a frank discussion.”

“I haven’t done anything wrong, Alpha. I don’t know why you’re angry with me.”

“I’m not angry, Zoe, but if you keep closing up, I’m going to become frustrated. I am the pack alpha. You are a pack member. You are having difficulties fitting in. That makes it my problem to solve. I can’t solve it if you
don’t talk to me
.”

I looked down again, my apprehension on the edge of fear.

“So,” she said after a moment. “We are going to have a frank conversation. Or else.”

My heart began pounding. “Or else what?”

“Or else I’ll order you to accept every single invitation that comes your way.”

“What?”

I looked up at her, and the corners of her mouth were curled upwards slightly.

“You thought the worst, didn’t you? You thought I’d kill you just for not talking to me.”

“You’re the one who threatened, Alpha.”

“Yes, and I believe my threat is sufficiently amusing but intimidating enough you’re going to engage in this conversation, aren’t you?”

“Yes, Alpha.”

“Good. Now, why don’t you accept any of the other invitations?”

“You know why.”