Wolves among men (2 page)

“I don’t want to lose you. I just want to know
what the hell is so dammed important that you would just-” She
paused, “run away.” I sighed heavily and rubbed my eyes.

“Cordillia, this has nothing to do with how I
see you.” I tried. My voice cracked as I spoke. I tried so damn
hard to make this feel right but she wouldn’t let me, couldn’t let
me be at peace with what I’d done.

“I’m not running away from you, you’re the
only family I have. You know I wouldn’t do that. You know if I
could,” I paused as the thought crossed my mind. Maybe if I told
her the truth it would be easier, she would write me off as crazy
and just go on with her life. I shook it off, No. I couldn’t do
that to her, what if she believed me, what if it ruined everything
for her or worse. What if she wanted to--? I couldn’t bring myself
to finish the thought.

“What do you mean if you could?” she mocked.
“You’ve never kept a secret from me before. You know you can trust
me, what’s so God dammed-” she began to scream into the
phone.

“ALRIGHT!” I roared, hoping I didn’t wake
anyone up in this shit-hole motel. “Alright,” I repeated a bit
calmer this time.

“You ready to treat me like a sister and not
some stranger you can just walk away from?” there was a bit of
sarcasm in her voice this time. I smirked.

“You do realize that it’s midnight,
right?”

“Actually it’s more like one in the morning.”
I paused as her words sunk in. What the hell was she doing up so
late, she had a job in the morning and bills to pay. I stopped my
train of thought there. It was easy to leave but suddenly harder to
stop being a brother.

“I can’t explain over the phone.” I sighed. I
couldn’t believe I was doing this. I hardly believed what was going
on myself and now I had to drag the only family I had left into
this mess. But she was right. She deserved at least an explanation.
Worst case scenario, she would think I was insane and let me go on
my way but anything was better than leaving her like this. “If I
tell you how to get here, will you come?” I asked.

“Of course,” she replied with an edge to her
voice. I prayed I was doing the right thing.

“I-five out of Redding. Head north. There is a
small truck stop about sixty miles up, pass it. You’ll see a
turnoff not far north from there. Take it, you’ll find a small
hotel that looks like a death trap. I’m in room two. I’ll wait for
you,” I finished with a cringe. What was I going to say to her? How
could I explain something utterly unexplainable? At least I had
time to gather my thoughts between now and then.

“Room two,” she whispered over the soft
scribble of pen on paper. “I’ll pack some things and be on my way.
You better not be dicking me around, Ethan, I want to know the
truth.” The phone cut out and the pain in my stomach grew worse.
This was a bad idea, I knew that. But what else could I do? I had
to tell her something. I couldn’t just let her think I was running
away from her.

Pulling back the purple floral drapes
and staring out into the empty parking lot, I considered my
options. I really only had two choices. Tell her the truth and risk
being labeled as insane or run. Juggling between two equally bad
ideas, I let my arm fall and ran my fingers through my hair with a
groan. At least I had a little time to figure it out before I was
confronted with reality.

Chapter Two

Patience was never my strong point and now
more than ever that fault was shining brightly. I paced the room
for what seemed like an eternity but when I checked the clock only
ten minutes had passed. The clock stared back at me as I ran
through a myriad of ways to pass the time, each one as unappealing
as the idea before it and eventually I gave up and made my way into
the bathroom and flipped on the light. It almost blinded me and it
took a few moments for the sting to pass that’s when I realized the
rest of the hotel room had been dark this whole time.

When my eyes had finally adjusted, I walked
over to the mirror and quickly pulled my shirt over my head,
tossing it onto the bathroom counter and turning to take a look at
my reflection. It had been a while since I had really looked at the
man in the mirror and since the attack a few months ago, I had
changed. Not in a bad way but I wasn’t Ethan as I knew him
anymore.

All my life, I had always been a little on the
scrawny side and that’s why it surprised me when I noticed a faint
but sure line of muscle appearing out of nowhere. I was shocked
even now that the faint tone had turned into a well-defined body
and I had done nothing to provoke it. My eyes seemed to glow even
under the florescent light that hummed above me and as I leaned
forward to take a better look, I noticed something staring back at
me. I heard once that the eyes are the window to the soul and while
I still saw myself in them and staring back at me from the mirrors
dirty reflection that wasn’t the only thing that took up residence
behind them. Something older, something darker, something
inherently not me lived there now and no amount of wishing could
change that.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I shook my head before
turning to start the water for my shower and when I turned back
something else in the mirror had caught my eye. I reached up and
ran my fingers over the thick, white jagged scar that stood out
against the tan skin of my right shoulder. I hadn’t given it much
thought since the attack and as my fingers slowly passed over the
patch of cold, raised skin, I wondered just how long it would be
before I could look at it without cringing.

I smiled slightly as the shape and size of it
began to remind me just a little of the old monster movies
Cordillia and I would watch late at night when things become
scarier than they really are. It spanned my shoulder, making it
seem as though my arm was stitched on and if you were the right
kind of person with the right kind of imagination it wouldn’t be
unusual to think that maybe there was a mad scientist’s hand
involved in the procedure.

Shaking off the thought with a smile, I
climbed out of my jeans and into the shower letting the water wash
over me and take with it most of the grogginess I felt.

When I close my eyes, my mind tends to wander
and as it did, I couldn’t help but think of the last few months and
all that had changed since the attack on my way home from work. I’d
spent a month in the hospital, at least that’s what I was told and
more than once I was reminded of the miracle that pulled me from
the clutches of death. I had never seen Cordillia cry so much as
the day I woke up and in its own way I was happy to see it. At
least I had spared her the pain of losing someone else so close to
her.

A smile shaped my lips as I thought about
Jenna for the first time in months. She was beautiful and blond
like my mother but unlike her, she was a wild and exciting woman
that grabbed my heart from the moment I saw her. It was her hair
that caught my attention first, the way the sun bounced off of it
and made it shine. She was with me through it all, even took care
of Cordillia while I was in the hospital and as I looked back, it
was easy to see that I couldn’t have asked for someone
better.

And yet after I got home more than my
appearance had changed. I couldn’t control my temper anymore, my
paranoia or my tongue. I accused her of cheating and of not really
loving me and when she didn’t respond, I lost myself completely.
Thankfully I made it out of the house and away from her in time but
it wasn’t long after that I….

I couldn’t think about it anymore, how I’d
hurt her and accused her of things she would never do. She was a
good girl, I knew that and I would give anything to take it back. I
would miss her hair, her eyes and the way she smelled like flowers
only sweeter but at least now she could find someone better for
her, someone safer.

Violently, I was pulled from my thoughts with
the sound of an incessant yet gentle knock at the door and it
wasn’t until I looked up that I realized my shower had gone ice
cold.

How long had I been
daydreaming?

Shutting off the water, I began to dry off as
the knocking became steadily louder and desperate.

“
Just a second!” I called as I
crawled into my jeans and threw on my shirt before making my way
quickly to the door. My eyes darted to the clock as I pulled back
the lock. 3:32, I paused. “How did I lose two hours?” I muttered to
myself.

“
Ethan, come on, it’s dark out
here!” she called impatiently.

Undoing the chain, I opened the door to greet
her. A gust of cool air and perfume flooded the room and I couldn’t
help but smile as I saw her standing there, small, thin and somehow
menacing despite it all. Dressed in her pajamas and a red bag slung
over her shoulder, she glared at me with a smile.

“
Are you going to let me in or
make me stand here all night?” she smirked, her voice sweet and
dripping with sarcasm. I pulled the door open wide and stepped to
the side to let her in. She dropped her bag next to mine on the
tiny round table and turned to face me as I slid the lock into
place and met her accusing eyes with a sigh.

“
So?” She crossed her arms at her
chest as she waited for the simple explanation she had come here
expecting. I wished it was that easy, really I did. I motioned to
the bed behind her and watched as she took a seat before I pulled a
chair from the table next to me and turned it to face her, my heart
racing as I sat down and rested my elbows on my knees.

She sighed impatiently as she uncrossed her
arms and laid them gently on her lap. “Are you going to tell me
what the hell is going on or are you planning on tying me up and
making a run for it?” Her eyebrow rose. I couldn’t tell if she was
joking or really not sure. I laughed and she scowled. “What?” She
smirked.

“
The thought had crossed my mind.”
I smiled playfully.

“
Don’t be a jackass. I came all
this way…” she attempted to be stern with me but I could see the
smile that hid behind her scowl, the one that told me nothing had
really changed between us.

“
Relax, Cordy, it’s just good to
see you.” I smiled. She rolled her eyes at me and pulled her legs
up under her.

“
Don’t call me that,” she added
with a huff. “Now come on tell me what the hell is going on.” I
thought for a moment. Could I really do this? Should I? She eyed me
from the bed as she waited for me to answer. It was obvious she was
growing more impatient as time went on. How could I explain the
impossible, something that I barely believed myself?

“
Cordy,” I paused as she glared at
me. “Sorry, Cordillia.” She relaxed a bit and I started again.
“First of all I’m not just running away from you.” She rolled her
eyes and shook her head. “No, don’t give me that I’m not,” I added
sternly. “This last year has been a big mess, you know that and
it’s not that I think your some kid who can’t handle the truth.”
She smiled slightly as I mocked her. “But you have to believe me
when I say that I really thought that leaving was better than
bringing you into something that I don’t even want to be a part
of.”

“
What the hell is that even
supposed to mean?” she scoffed as she stared me down.

“
It means that I left because I
thought it was the right thing to do for both of us, I still do and
this...” I motioned between her and I. “This doesn’t change
anything.” I saw the hurt in her eyes as I said this but I knew my
sister well enough to know that she thought I would come home after
all this. It hurt but it needed to be said.

I sighed and took a longer pause than needed,
I was stuck and I hoped to God the inspiration would come and I
would just magically know what to say. After a few moments I
realized it wouldn’t.

“
Ethan,” she groaned slightly as
she leaned forward and took a deep breath. “You can trust me,” she
spoke with such conviction that I couldn’t help but believe her
even though there was a part of me that was still unsure. Our eyes
met and for a moment I felt like it was all going to be okay, I
felt crazy for ever thinking I needed to leave.

“
It’s not that I don’t trust you.”
I sighed as I ran my hands through my hair. “Look, I’m not the same
man I was before. Let me explain,” I managed before she could
speak. I took a deep breath and placed my face in my hands. The
frustration of not knowing what to say was eating away at me and
every instinct in my body wanted to run screaming from the room, a
luxury I didn’t have.

“
Do you remember when I was
attacked a few months ago?” I asked not sure where I was going to
go with this. She nodded lightly, the understanding in her eyes
calmed me and I began again. “The thing is I’m not so sure that it
was an animal that attacked me that night.” I paused, giving her
the chance to speak.