World Enough and Time (28 page)

He nodded.

Avoiding his eyes, I said, “I can’t do that again, Connor. I completely uprooted my life to go with him, and…” I sighed. “Well, you know that story.”

“I know.” He ran his fingers through my hair. “And I can’t decide if I’m glad he brought you out here so I’d eventually meet you, or if I want to kick his ass for giving you a reason to doubt me.”

I tried to laugh, but couldn’t. “It’s not that I doubt you. I don’t think you’d be like that. It’s just…”
This feels different, but how can I possibly know? And could you get over me as fast as you got over Olivia
?

He took and released a breath. “You didn’t think he would do it either?”

I swallowed. Then nodded. “After four years, I thought I knew him. Obviously I didn’t. I’m sorry, Connor, I am. It’s just, I—”

“I understand,” he whispered, running his fingers through my hair. “I really do.” He smiled, if only half-heartedly. “Can’t blame a guy for trying, can you?”

I forced a smile. “No, I definitely can’t. And even with his sorry ass out of the picture, there’s my horses. It would cost a small fortune to move them that far, and I just can’t afford to do it again.” I chewed my lip, then quickly added, “And I can’t sell them.”

“I wouldn’t ask you to. I know how much they mean to you.” He kissed me gently. Then he let out a long breath and dropped his gaze. Barely whispering, he said, “As much as I don’t want to let this go, we can’t do this as a long distance thing.”

My heart sank a little deeper, even though I knew he was right.

He touched my face. “You have your commitments up here. I’m going to be up to my ass in school down there. We’d be lucky to get each other on the phone. And all the flying back and forth…” Sighing, he kissed my forehead and tenderly brushed his thumb across my cheekbone. “Those visits would be worth it, but we’d both be miserable the other ninety-five percent of the time.”

“I know,” I whispered. “And we knew this was coming from the beginning.”

“I know we did.” He brushed a strand of hair behind my ear. “I guess I didn’t realize we’d get…” He trailed off for a moment. “That we’d be like this.”

“So what do we do between now and then?”

“The same thing we’ve been doing,” he said. “We spend the next few weeks enjoying this as much as we can. Then we go our separate ways.”

“Do you think it’ll be that easy?”

“I never said it was easy,” he said softly. “But, it’s all we’ve got.”

“True.”

He swallowed hard, then smiled, and this time his eyes backed it up. “And if you find yourself in the Bay Area sometime, look me up.”

I smiled in spite of the lump in my throat. “Likewise, whenever you come up here.”

“You know I will.” His hand slid around to the back of my neck. “But, for the time being, we’re both here…” He grinned.

“And we’ve got a whole night all to ourselves.” I put my arms around him. “We should think of something to do with it.”

“I think I know
exactly
what we can do with it…”

Chapter Thirty-Four

“Could you hand me that stack of newspapers?”

I picked up a stack and leaned over a couple of boxes to give it to Connor.

“Thanks.” He set it on the counter and continued wrapping a set of wine glasses. His kitchen was a mess of cardboard, newspaper, and bubble wrap. For the last couple of hours, we’d worked our way through cupboards, packing away dishes, utensils, pots, pans. All the things he’d need in San Francisco. Evan was letting him use his stuff between now and the move, so Connor had time to get ahead of the game and pack everything well in advance.

Though we kept the conversation light, an odd feeling coiled itself in my gut. Not nervousness, per se. Just… restlessness. Like anticipation of something that needed to happen or was about to happen. Something I didn’t want to happen, but at the same time, wanted to be over.

I knew what it was, but ignored it. So did he. We chatted like we had all the time in the world in spite of all the evidence to the contrary. Boxes. Possessions tucked into newspaper and bubble wrap. Empty shelves and cabinets. All around us, reminders of how little time we had left, but we pretended not to notice.

Piece by piece, we packed away his world while we compared notes about a couple of local Thai restaurants and the latest baseball scores.

“You know, I never asked,” I said, glancing up from carefully setting some wrapped bowls in a box. “How do you and Susan know each other? I mean, when did you meet?”

“Friend of a friend.” He laid two glasses in a box, then pulled another from the cabinet. “That whole bunch that hangs out down at the Pike Street Pub, we’ve been doing that for years. One of my friends invited me a while back, then his girlfriend invited Susan.”

“And then Susan invited me,” I said.

He smiled. “Exactly. I take it the two of you met at work?”

I nodded. “I met her on my first day, but she was a little cold toward me at first. Probably thought the owners had hired another nitwit like the last trainer who went through there.”

Connor laughed. “Well, obviously you hit it off eventually.”

“Oh yeah,” I said. “Didn’t take long at all. The first time I called our boss a moody motherfucker under my breath, she knew we’d get along.”

The rattle of car keys preceded footsteps, and Connor and I both looked up when Evan stepped into the kitchen.

“You’re not letting him take any of my stuff, are you?” he said, obviously trying to look stern, but failing miserably.

“Right,” I said. “Like I can tell your stuff from his.”

“See?” Connor put his hands up. “Anything of yours disappears? Blame her.”

“Hey!” I picked up a glass and acted like I was about to throw it at him.

He held a plate up like a shield. “Go ahead, I dare you.”

“Hey, now,” Evan said. “No violence. At least wait until I’m gone.”

Connor and I laughed and put our respective culinary weapons down.

“You out for the night?” Connor asked.

Evan nodded. “I’m meeting Robin, then I’m working in the morning, so you probably won’t see my ugly face until tomorrow night.”

“Works for me.” Connor gestured at the boxes and packing material. “I’ll try to have some of this cleaned up and out of the way by then.”

His roommate made a dismissive wave with his car keys. “Don’t worry about it.” He looked at his watch. “Anyway, I’m out of here. Don’t work too hard.”

“We won’t,” Connor said.

“I meant Dani,” Evan said. “You can work yourself into the ground for all I give a shit.”

Connor threw a ball of newspaper at him. Evan ducked, flipped him the bird, and left. A moment later, the front door closed and we had the apartment to ourselves.

The cupboard I was working on was empty, so I closed it and moved on to the next one. When I opened it, there were no dishes, but it was fully stocked with liquor.

“What about all of this?” I gestured at the bottles.

He pursed his lips and craned his neck. “Hmm, just grab the Tanqueray and the Skyy. I think they’re the only unopened bottles in there.”

“You planning on drinking the rest?” I pulled out the bottles of Tanqueray and Skyy.

“All that in two weeks?” He laughed. “Not a chance.”

A smartass retort stopped at the tip of my tongue as the words sank in.
Two weeks
. Not enough time to finish that cache of alcohol. Not enough time at all.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

I cleared my throat and shook my head. “Nothing.”

“You sure?”

I let out a breath and my shoulders dropped. I watched my hands half-heartedly cocooning the unopened bottle of Skyy in bubble wrap. “Just, hard to believe it’s so soon.”

“I know,” he said quietly. Dishes clinked and I looked up. He’d set a stack of plates down and paused, looking at the floor while he drummed his fingers on the counter.

“Guess time flies when you’re having fun.” I was nearly whispering.

“Yeah, it does,” he said just as quietly.

Swallowing hard, I set the half-wrapped bottle aside, and we avoided each other’s eyes. The only sound was the muffled crinkle of unfurling bubble wrap. Time definitely didn’t fly during moments like this.

After an eternity, I looked at him. Another age passed before he looked up. When our eyes met, my breath caught the very same way it had the first time he’d looked at me in another time and place, back when we were strangers.

Before I realized what I was doing, I was moving, stepping around boxes and over packing material, my eyes never leaving his. He met me halfway, cupping the sides of my neck while I grabbed the front of his shirt, and we pulled each other into a deep kiss.

We stumbled together, turned, tried to regain our footing, pulling each other off balance and trying to get that much closer. My hip slammed against a box. Newspapers hissed and rustled, presumably falling, but they didn’t matter. Connor bumped into another box and sent a tape dispenser rattling onto the floor. Something clattered. Something fell. The corner of something bit into my leg.

Then he pushed me up against the counter. I dragged his shirt up and he released me just long enough to get it over his head and out of the way. When we came back together, he pressed his hips against mine. Just the nearness of his hard cock to my clit made me shiver.

He slid his hands under my shirt and pushed it over my head. His fingers tangled in my hair and he pulled my head back, kissing my neck and collarbone so hard I was sure he would sink his teeth in. I dug my nails into his back and he released a sharp breath against my shoulder. Then he raised his head and kissed me again, both of us alternately pulling the breath right out of each other.

We were moving again, the counter no longer pressing into my back. Still kissing, still clawing at each other, but moving. He led and I followed, taking a step back for every step he took forward, trusting that he wouldn’t run me into anything, not caring if he did. All I knew was that I needed him. If we crashed into something, so be it. If we tumbled to the floor in the hallway, then I’d have him there.

I just needed. Him.
Now
.

Still guiding us both down the hall, he kept a hand on the small of my back to steady me while the other went to my bra strap. With a quick, smooth motion of his fingers, my bra went slack about my shoulders. Any other night, he might have stopped to hold it up like a trophy, proclaiming his triumph at finally defeating that damned clasp, but not this time. His kiss never even missed a beat and my bra slid off my arms, falling forgotten to the floor.

We both stumbled and a second later, my back was against the wall. His lips went to my neck again, a low growl emerging from the back of his throat as if he was just barely keeping himself from biting me. I opened my eyes. The bedroom was still a few feet away, the bed several feet farther.

Here would just have to do.

With clumsy, shaking hands, I unbuckled his belt and unzipped his jeans. When I wrapped my fingers around his cock and stroked gently, Connor gasped. He let his head fall beside mine, moaning softly against my neck, his hips rocking back and forth in time with my strokes.

His hand slid down my leg and he pulled my knee up to his hip. With his free hand, he trailed his fingers over my pussy, teasing me through my jeans. I closed my eyes when he pressed his palm against my clit. My entire body trembled and my fingers tightened around his cock, in turn making him press a little harder with his hand.

“I want you so damned bad right now,” he growled against my lips. “Fuck, I could…” He tensed when I stroked faster. “I could fuck you right here.”

I shuddered. The sooner he was inside me, the sooner we’d relieve this maddening ache. But then this would be over sooner. Insatiable, immediate hunger grappled with the need to savor this—
him
—as long as humanly possible.

The latter won. “Back up,” I murmured, pushing his shoulders gently.

He gave me a puzzled look, but didn’t protest. He eased my leg down until my foot touched the floor, then he stepped back as I’d asked. As soon as he did, I went to my knees.

“Oh, fuck,” he breathed before my lips had even touched him. When they did, a tremor nearly knocked him off balance. A shift of his weight and a hollow thump told me his hand had hit the wall, no doubt bracing himself in case his trembling knees decided to buckle. His other hand grasped my hair, loosening and tightening each time I ran my tongue around the head of his cock. My mouth followed my hand almost to the base, then back up, then down again, taking as much of him as I could. Every time I nearly deep-throated him, my pussy responded as if he was against my G-spot instead of my tongue. He moaned softly and his cock twitched, but at this rate, I wasn’t sure who would come first.

“Oh, God, baby, I don’t want to come yet.” His voice shook as badly as his hand. “Not yet, don’t—” He gasped. Then his fingers tightened in my hair and he drew his hips back, pulling out of my reach. When I stood, he kissed me so desperately it was almost painful. We stumbled again, and this time it was his back against the wall, the impact knocking a grunt out of him but not breaking our breathless kiss.

Though God only knew who was leading now, we were moving toward the bedroom. My shoulder brushed the doorframe; I was vaguely aware of something like pain, but more than anything, it offered relief. We’d crossed the threshold. We were in the bedroom. We were almost where we wanted to be.

Separating for only a few seconds, we both kicked off the rest of our clothes. Connor pushed me up against the bed, kissing me as his hand parted my legs. We both gasped when his fingertips found my clit. In spite of the way his hand trembled, his fingers drew slow, controlled arcs around my clit until I could no longer concentrate on kissing him.

“Oh, my God,” I moaned, my lips brushing his. “I want…” But he made speech impossible.

“I know what you want.” His stubble grazed my chin when he spoke. “I want it too. And we will.”

Though the “but not yet” wasn’t spoken, it was there. It was there in the playful lilt in his voice, in the way he kept teasing my pussy with his fingers, and in the frustrated breath he released when I dug my nails into his shoulders. We both wanted it, but I knew he was doing the same thing I’d done in the hallway.