-Worlds Apart- Ruination (8 page)

“What! That’s against the law! What about curfew?”

“My mind kept racing about the test. About a lot of things.” He swallows. “Part of me wanted to rebel a little. You know, break a rule before I came of age.” His voice sounds strange and muted. “Another part hoped you felt that way too. I thought maybe I’d find you here. Your note said you would try to come later.” The red drains from his face as he stares at the ground like its a thousand miles away. “It was stupid but I waited all day and when you didn’t come I thought maybe you’d show up at night. I thought ‘later’ meant after curfew.” He looks back to me. “I was convinced you’d be here too. It was dumb, I know.”

I shift awkwardly, suddenly embarrassed. “I had no idea. I…”  He cuts me off, pulling me into his arms.

“It’s okay. It was a stupid thought,” I hear him deflate. I curl my arms around his waist, folding them across his back. I imagine staying like this. Holding him here so close to me. He releases me to sit back on the oak branch. “How’s Emma?” He asks. I hide my disappointment with a smile.

“She’s better now.” Awkward silence settles, finally I tell him about yesterday’s lessons. He laughs as I detail our mud fight at the creek. Silence falls again and I have to break it, “What do you want to
perfect
today?”

“I don’t wanna study today. I think I’ll go home. I’m just tired from last night, that’s all.” He adds trying to ease the hurt written across my face.

“That’s ok. I understand.”

He leans in, pulling me into his arms. He inhales at the nape of my neck, I feel the electricity between us. His hands drop, releasing me.

I force myself to say something. “Good luck tomorrow,” I try to smile.

“I’ll see you later.” He turns, walking away.

I wait until his steps carry him past the trees before I stare vacantly ahead, holding back the tears. Hours pass and the entire time I beat myself up for my overt weakness. Maybe
these
are the hormones Gwen was talking about. If that’s the case they make me irrational and frustrated. I stayed up half the night last night rehearsing our day together. We were going to do some skills training, maybe some Q&A on farming and healing. At some point I was going to take his hand and hold it, or maybe even lay against his chest if I felt brave enough. Maybe he would ask me out again and this time I’d say yes. All I know is sitting here alone wasn’t what I’d envisioned.

The day seems so long without him. It hadn’t occurred to me how long a single afternoon could stretch. Eventually my shaking limbs force me to stand. I need to go home and warm myself.

I meet Emma and Papa at third line for dinner and sit vacantly at the table as they talk. Twice Papa asks me questions I completely ignore. When the orange and pink rays hit the pavilion my stomach jolts as I think of Garrett.

I follow several lengths behind them on our walk home. I don’t have enough energy to undress before falling into bed, my arm’s flung over the edge with my fingers resting on the bouquet of crumbling flowers. My eyes feel just as heavy as my heart until finally the weight of both carry me into another night of restless sleep. 

My stomach’s turning circles when I wake well past first light. Today’s his day. He’s probably testing right now…tomorrow that’ll be me. Both thoughts terrify me. I want so badly to leave and find him, watch him test, or at least be there when he finishes.

I scoot myself to the top of the bed and curl into a ball. My eyes cry for reasons I don’t totally understand. I should practice but I can’t study, not without him. My mind jolts realizing I could leave him a note. I jump out of bed, running to get paper and a pencil.

‘
Garrett, I hope you did great today! I am sure you did
…’ No that sounds too fake. I erase it.

‘
Garrett, I was lost without you these last two days
.’ I immediately erase.

‘
Garret, I wish I could have seen you today, I am sure you did great. Happy birthday. I’ll see you
later
.’

That sounds good. There’s only two hours of daylight left to attach the note, get to third-line, and back home before curfew. I scramble from the table so fast that I actually forget the note. My mind screams as I reach the door, reversing I snatch it off the table. I travel the worn path to our secret spot, tying my note to the branch we sat on yesterday.

‘Please let him come tonight, please let him find my note and stay,’ I say over and over in my head as I bound toward the pavilion. 

I join in the conversation at dinner. I’ve got to act normal or else Emma or Papa will suspect something
.
When dinner’s over I change out of my day-clothes into my blue nightgown. While Emma gets ready for bed I quickly bundle my day-clothes into a tight ball, tucking them under the loose wood paneling at the side of the house.

“Good luck tomorrow, Nessa,” she says from across the bed.

“Thanks. Let’s go to sleep, it’s getting late.” I watch her eyes flutter until they close. I wait for the quiet sound of her snoring. At last I hear it and I creep lightly out of the house into the night.

Chapter 14

I close the door so gently that the creaking is hardly audible. I enter the dark night with the wind cutting across my exposed legs, it’s a struggle to move. I crouch into a ball and run. I try staying hidden from regulators that might be patrolling for people like me. That would be our second mark, I could still leap but if we got a third before Emma’s seventeenth birthday she wouldn’t have the chance. I’m being careless and selfish but my guilt’s overruled by my needs.

I move to the side of the house, holding my arms outstretched as I search the frosted ground for my clothes. My hands sweep back and forth while I try coaxing my eyes into night vision. On my fourth pass I feel the bundle. I unroll the blue clothes, hastily throwing them on over my thin nightgown.

The usual path to the hillside is too dangerous after curfew, I have to alter my route. I keep my posture low, pumping my feet on my detour around my neighbors’ homes, I wind and weave between fences and trees. All the houses are silent and dark; my only compasses are the stars that glitter in the black sky and the road I keep to my left.

I make it through the sub-three neighborhood and eventually I’m weaving through the larger sub-two homes. Some of them have their electric lights on. It must be nice to have electricity like that. I can’t imagine flicking a switch and having electricity surge through and brighten an entire room. Our oil lamps in sub-three aren’t so bad though.

Thirty minutes pass before I’m finally at Grove Street. Once I cross it I’ll be at the fallen log. And after that, I’m safe. I hold my position, crouching at the side of a sub-two home. I scan the street that separates me from Garrett. My head turns left and right scouting the empty road. Three times my torso lunges forward to run but my feet stay grounded. My heart and mind are at war with each other. My heart wants to sprint across Grove Street onto the hill with him. My mind’s in self-preservation mode, trying to shield me from exposure.

I scout one final time. The road to the left is vacant. I look to the right and my stomach immediately drops. I see the silhouette of a man running straight for me. My body instinctively sinks into the wall. I pinch my eyes closed until the sound of his approaching steps are nearly on top of me. I wish I could stifle my breathing but my chest heaves and air spirals as I pant wildly. My chest lifts and falls rapidly, in sync with my beating heart that’s ready to burst. I’ve been caught.

Chapter 15

Every night I searched for her and just kept coming up empty. I did get pretty good at dodging Borgs, but that wasn’t my aim. That first winter went in a blink, but spring and summer dragged. Fall was brutal, every leaf that fell was a tease, tiptoeing me to winter when I could look for her again.

It’s my second winter and I’m more reckless. I can hear my mom scolding me, “Tyler Michael, you’re gonna get yourself put in lock-down.” That doesn’t faze me though, I go out every night anyway. It’s coming to the end of the year and I still keep turning up empty. Panic starts creeping in, what if my sight was wrong. It’s never been wrong before but what if this one was, maybe I threw my family and life away over some miss-firing neurons.

My breath smokes between my lips as I run. The regulator’s boots echo, they’re over by Quincy Street a full three blocks from me. Boredom builds till I need to blow-off some steam. I pick my way toward Quincy, timing my route to theirs. They’re a few meters away so I prop myself against the post and prepare for my rush. 

“Hey you, Borg!” I shout.

The regulators stop in their tracks. If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that they hate being called a Borg. When I was younger some foreigner propaganda made its way over the wall, it called the regulators Borgs. It compared them to bionic robots that were a fad years ago. I guess they’re pretty pissed about being likened to metal pieces of shit that basically self-destructed. They turn their lights straight at me, guns slung across their backs. The booming voice of the first Borg sounds out.

“Surrender Citizen, we have you in sight.”

“Oh shit,” I shout as the lights settle on my chest.

“Raise your arms and walk toward us slowly!” The one hollers as the other shoulders his rifle.

I step toward them. The first relaxes his arms, letting me make my move. I bolt through the ally between Quincy and Walsh. The Borgs are on my tail but I’m not worried, I’ve done this before. I hurdle a silver trash can bordering the street. I clear it and stop, turning it on its side. The regulators are close but I’ll lose them I think as I roll the barrel towards their feet. The first clears it but the second fails.

“Shit!” He yells as he falls to the pavement, grasping his knee.

The first regulator stops, momentarily torn but ultimately stays with his downed mate. I keep tearing through the subs, heart pumping from the rush. I turn the corner into sub-two with my feet pounding. Somewhere a few streets over the Borgs are rallying themselves for the hunt.

Suddenly it hits me, everything’s so familiar. The moon, air, even the stars are like I remember from my sight, and then I see her. She’s crouching beside a house, looking terrified. I head straight for her, this is it.

Chapter 16

I force my eyes open and see his tall silhouette coming at me. This will be our second mark, one mark away from being banned to leap. What was I thinking? My heart drums as my stomach knots and twists in a shameful dance. I’m guilty of this, I’m the one that’s compromised Emma’s chances. One mark after this and she will never have the chance to leap. I’m just about to give myself up when he takes form. He isn’t a regulator from Central-he’s dressed like me. He comes to a sudden stop, eyes staring directly at mine. At first he looks alarmed but then his shoulders relax, seeing I’m in blue, I guess. He’s lean and strikingly tall. I’ve never seen him before. I would’ve noticed green eyes like his. He strides to me and I instinctively rise to meet him. He waves his hand, signaling me to crouch again, I immediately obey.

His voice is deep and commanding even though he whispers, “Hey, gettin’ on alright?” I hesitate. What an odd introduction I think, but I answer.

“Fine, you?”

“Good.” He pauses, like he’s waiting for me to say more. He breaks the awkward silence, “It’s notta good night to be out, Borgs are going ballistic.”

“Borgs?” I ask.

“Regulators.” He shakes his head, “I call em Borgs.”

My voice cracks, “How many? Where?”

“Don’t know. More than usual.” He shrugs his shoulders. Usual? That means he breaks curfew a lot. I’m stunned that someone could be so careless as to break curfew more than once. “Where you goin’?” He asks, looking around as I point.

“Across the street, toward the river.”

“You have two, maybe three blinks before they come, you should bolt.”

“Thanks.” I smile as I try hiding my confusion.

He smiles back, it pulls the corners of his mouth at perfect angles. I hear the crunching ground under his feet as he runs towards the woods behind me. I find myself suddenly overcome with curiosity. Who is he? Where did he come from and how don’t I know him? His retreating steps distance themselves from me but the farther he runs the more I want to know. Shaking my head I focus and scan the road ahead. The coast is clear. My guilt ridden stomach un-knots as I stay crouched and cross the street, hurdling onto the log.

My feet slam down just as I hear the regulators’ heavy boots marching from the street to my right. There’s more than one of them and they’re close. I cover the length of the log and dive stomach first to its base, just as the regulator’s sweeping lights fall across the rotting tree.

My insides are in my throat. Sweat forms across my forehead as I lay prone with rocks and leaves pressed against my face. The regulators march in rhythm as their boots slam the pavement closer and closer to where I am. Gravel crunches beneath their heavy boots. The sound of crunching gravel and crunching leaves pressed against my head fills my ears. My pupils dilate in the darkness then suddenly snap and constrict from the glare of the regulator’s lights that pass along the top of the log. I roll to the left to conceal myself behind the fallen tree. It only takes a second but in that single moment I land in the path of their lights. The powerful beams hold where I’d been laying only seconds ago.

“Did you see that over there?” The one says in his deep and husky tone. “I know I saw something move.” I hear him draw his gun.

I shake, or maybe it’s the ground that shakes as their steps vibrate the nearly frozen soil. Step by step they march their way closer to me. Just ahead there’s a boulder that I might be able to make it to. With shaking hands pushing against the shaking ground I inch my way toward the brown boulder. Maybe I can hide behind it if I can make it there. I follow their lights like a child watching a meteor shower. I track them left and right as I time my moves. The lights sweep left as I crawl toward the boulder. The regulators swing the lights back towards me and I drop to the ground while the beams dance over the top of my back. I move forward again until the next beam bounces towards me. I hardly progress as I stop and go, pulling myself inch by inch closer. All the while they’re steadily closing the space between us. The regulator nestles his gun to his shoulder as I hear the tick of metal snapping. My breath quickens as I imagine them shooting me on the spot.