Worth Saving (11 page)

“I don’t think feshtuga is a Jewish word,” I said

“It is now,” He said. “That’s one of the benefits of being the only Jewish Mexican around.”

I looked at Schick who kept glancing back at his buddy on the ground. “Go help Claire,” I told him, he gave me a questioning look and weakly smiled his thanks before he scampered to kneel next to Claire.

After a few minutes, Claire joined us, stretching. Without thinking I started rubbing her lower back then caught myself and returned to looking out the front door. Claire looked at me like I had three heads. Then shaking her head she said, “He’s going to be OK, he’s got a nasty knot on the back of his head, he must have bumped it after he got on the platform. I got some water and pain pills down but I’d feel better when we got him home.”

“OK, I’ll carry him, a stretcher would take too many hands. I won’t feel comfortable until we get home too.” One of the first things I planned on doing was finding tons of barbed wire and stretching it around the top of the fence.

Chapter Fourteen

The strange man showed up a few weeks later. Margaret spotted him while patrolling with Schick. I’d teamed them up while Shuck recovered from the leg wound. She spotted him slipping into a useless gas station on 4
th
street, about five blocks from the fence line. We’d seen a few people around before, Claire knew most of the people in the area. Margaret knew everyone and this man wasn’t from around here.

“He’s about thirty, a little guy, slinking around like he didn’t want to be seen. You know looking over his shoulder, that type of thing,” Margaret said.

My gut rolled over as a very bad feeling seeped through my entire body. There was no reason for a man to be hanging out at that particular place. All the food had been retrieved for blocks around. Tinker’s words about Big Jake and the compound rushed back. Was that it; was he some kind of scout? If so, how long did we have?

“Thanks Margaret, good job,” I said and told Schick to get a quick bite and get ready to go out again.

“It’s almost dark,” Claire said as she dried her hands in a dish towel.

“I know, we’ll be staying out overnight. I need to find this guy and figure out what is going on and I want to come up on him while he is settled down for the night.”

“I’ll go instead of Schick,” she said as she turned to start gathering her things. I didn’t get a chance to say otherwise, the decision had been made. Claire was like that, she let me make most decisions, but when she made up her mind that was it. I thanked Margaret again and left to get suited up for a night on the other side of the fence.

Claire met me at the front door dressed in jeans, boots, and a gray hoody. She looked like the girl I ran into that first day. A black backpack slung over a shoulder, holding a six foot spear. She looked like she was excited about something, smiling up at me like a little girl getting ready for a slumber party. I was always amazed at the different Claire’s, mom to the little kids, friend to Margaret, Hector, and Susan. Nurse, teacher, and as she said, head cook and chief
bottle washer for all of us. And I thought the toughest of soldiers. What would we do if anything happened to her? The thought riled my insides and made my heart beat faster. I knew that I’d have to be careful not to put her at any risk without letting her know. I was looking forward to spending some time together, maybe.

She looked at me expectantly, as if waiting for me to try and change her mind. I didn’t waist the effort.

Her blond ponytail poked out the back of a baseball hat and bounced as she skipped down the front steps towards the east gate.

“Hold up Claire, I yelled, stopping her before she opened the gate. “If you’re going we’re doing it my way. I go first; keep your head on a swivel and be on the loo…”

“I know what to do Kris,” she said, exasperated at me. “We were roaming these streets long before you showed up. Don’t you dare get all macho on me?”

She was right, it didn’t change the way I felt inside though.

We slowly walked down the sidewalk, constantly keeping the closest exit in mind. I was pretty sure we’d see or hear any dogs. I wasn’t so confident about that puma. We were going to have to eliminate that problem soon, but not today.

The sun had set but the stars weren’t out yet, that in between time. The roadway was getting darker by the second. We could see the tops of the building in the red dusky light. It was full dark by the time we got to the intersection with the gas station on it. I put my hand out to stop Claire when we reached the corner. I held us back and dipped my head around the cornerstone to look at the station. A faint glow was coming from the front windows, confirming that Margaret was as observant as ever. The glow flickered a little and I figured it was a small candle.

I pulled back out of site and told Claire that I wanted to approach the guy from the other end and get a look at him. He wouldn’t be able to see outside on a dark night like tonight. Claire nodded her head and followed me to the other side of the building.

We crouched behind the pumps and looked at the front glass door. The glow was a little stronger this side. The flickering glow faded briefly, as if someone passed in front of it. The man was up and about, that made it a little more difficult. I was confident though, figuring we couldn’t sit around out here for very long.

“Watch my back,” I whispered to Claire and scampered to the side of the building. I rested my back against the concrete brick wall and looked back at Claire crouched beside the pump. I could barely make her out in the star light and my eyes were fully adjusted to the dark night. His would be blind from the light inside his room.

Taking a deep breath, I peeked through the window. The station was empty, nothing remained on the shelves. It must have been repeatedly picked over. A small white candle was set on the counter top and there was a green sleeping bag in a back corner. As I watched a man laid down on the bag and turned to face the wall.

He appeared to be smaller than normal, about five seven or so, dressed in typical jeans and a windbreaker jacket. I didn’t see a gun, and believe me, I looked everywhere for one. That didn’t mean anything. It could be hidden from sight, maybe between him and the wall.

An ashtray rested next to the bed, overflowing with cigarette butts.  Obviously he’d been there a few days. I had a bad feeling, all the way down to my toes. Why does a man move into an empty gas station? He had no obvious reason for being there.

I moved away from the window, satisfied I’d seen all I was going to see. Claire looked anxious when I got back to her. I signaled for her to follow and ran across the street and ducked into a restaurant. The place was dark and quite, smellinng of old grease and dust. I choose a booth with a good view of the gas station and sat. Claire took the seat on the other side of the table. Looking at me like she’d strangle me if I didn’t fill her in and quick.

“One guy, about thirty, alone, I couldn’t see a gun. It looks like he’s been there for a couple of days,” I said.

“Why, what does he want?”

“We’ll follow him in the morning, and see what he is up to. We should be okay in here,” I said, looking around the room. “I don’t think anything can slip in without us being aware of it.”

“That’s it? We just sit here all night and wait for him to come out in the morning. Why don’t we go in there and ask him what he’s doing here.”

“Because I don’t know if he’s got a gun. What would you do if you were in a strange place and somebody came charging into your room in the middle of the night? I don’t know about you, but I’d shoot and ask questions later. I want to know more before we approach this guy.”

“Yea, I guess you’re right,” she said, shrugging her shoulders, turning to watch the gas station.

We weren’t very well situated, having to twist to look outside. I got up and moved the booths around so we could have a comfortable padded bench facing the windows. Claire joined me and we sat there without speaking. Neither of us knew what to say and pretended to be focused on the building across the way.

The silence was starting to become uncomfortable when Claire hit me in the shoulder.

“What was that for?” I asked, surprised to my core.

“If you don’t know, then I’m not going to tell you,” she said.

“Oh, come on, don’t be like that. I don’t have any idea what I’m supposed to do when I’m around you, let alone know if I do something wrong,” I said as I looked at her, waiting for an answer. I could care less about the man across the street or anything else for that matter. I needed her to answer the question. “You’ve been avoiding me for weeks. Like a scared kitten around a …”

“Me?” she squealed in indignation. She turned to face me, hooking a shapely leg under her knee. “Me?” She asked again.

“Yes you, ever since we kissed, you scamper away as soon as I walk into a room.”

She turned a little pink at the mention of that kiss, and sputtered trying to get her words out. I’d touched a nerve. “Me? What about you? Standing around like a big lump. Never saying anything, always looking at me. And don’t you ever mention that kiss again. It was a mistake, so please forget that it ever happened,” she said as she looked away, anywhere except at me.

“Always looking at you? What do you expect me to do? You parade around looking like a goddess. And you expect me not to look at you.”

“I don’t parade around,” she said, but a worried look crossed her face.

“Claire, you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. It takes my breath away every time I see you first thing in the morning. It’s impossible for me to be in the same room and not look at you. As for my being a silent lump. What am I supposed to say or do? Please tell me because I have no idea,” I said. Looking at her, hoping for answers.

She looked down at her hands, all the fight had gone out of her. “I don’t know,” she whispered barely loud enough for me to hear.

Her face was pinched in pain. I hated not knowing what to do to make her feel better. I wanted to pull her into my arms and hold her until she felt better. If she didn’t like out kiss, no way was I going to hug her.

I checked the gas station to make sure nothing had changed. The faint glow continued to shine through the window. I didn’t want to think about our intruder, I wanted to fix whatever was bothering Claire. Maybe if I apologized. I didn’t have any idea for what, but maybe that would help.

“I’m sorry if I did something wrong. And I’m sorry you didn’t like me kissing you. I will …”

“I didn’t say I didn’t like it, I said it was a mistake,” she said rather forcibly.

The tightness around my heart relaxed a little, she didn’t despise me. “What do you mean?” I asked. Feeling like a dunce, I swear I will never figure it out unless someone told me what I was missing.

“Do you really think I’m beautiful?” she asked. Her voice strained, as if the question was the most important she’d ever asked.

“Oh Claire, you know you’re the most beautiful girl god ever made. Even if there were still seven billion people in the world, you’d be the most beautiful. You are perfect in every way. I think I like your eyes best, they reminds me of the deep dark blue ice buried in a mountain glacier. Your hair is like a silken sunrise. And the rest of you drives me crazy, I fall asleep at night dreaming about your body. I wake up in the morning having spent the entire night dreaming about you. Content because I know I’ll be seeing you soon. Come on, you know your beautiful, and sweet, and the most important part of our group. You are what keep us all together; you know all that don’t you?” I said, not believing there was any way she couldn’t know.

I mean this was Claire. It felt uncomfortable talking like that, the words had bubbled out before I could stop them. My heart quickened and my insides tightened again as I held my breath waiting for some type of response. Anything to let me know that I hadn’t overstepped my bounds again.

Claire continued to look at her hands, the bill of her cap hiding her face. Why wouldn’t she look at me? I gently removed the hat, slipping the ponytail out the back. Placing the hat on the table I reached out and I held her chin and slowly raised her face. I had to see what she was thinking.

She looked at me with misty eyes and blinking as she tried to clear them. “I saw the way you looked at Susan, it looked like you were trying to look through her clothes,” she said, looking for some type of answer.

“Jesus Claire, of course I looked at her, she’s pretty, and any guy with any kind of heart beat would look at her. That doesn’t mean
you’re not beautiful. Even if you weren’t, you’d still haunt my dreams at night.”

Her eyes searched mine deeply. Smiling she threw herself into my arms, burying her head in my chest. Wrapping herself around me and squeezing as hard as she could. My arms automatically returned the hug while my mind tried to decipher what was going on.

We held each other for several minutes and naturally slid into kissing. For a girl who thought kissing was a mistake, she sure seemed to be enjoying it. Within seconds we were lost in each other. Our hands moving, caressing and driving things further and harder than either of us were ready for. All thoughts about the man across the way had disappeared like a puff of smoke.

I was seconds away from a dream come true, all those sleepless nights, tossing and turning, obsessing about this moment and finally it would happen. I couldn’t think about anything but taking us to the next level. My hands roamed to Claire’s jeans trying to fumble them open. Her moan vibrated through my body and assured me to continue.

My heart raced at the speed of light and I was pretty sure I’d burst into flames at any moment. Instinct had taken over and I’d lost all awareness outside of the beautiful girl next to me. I thought for sure everything was okay when Claire’s entire body go stiff as a board as she froze in place. I thought for sure I’d done something wrong; maybe hurt her somehow. A sound on the street burned its way into my conscious. I wondered if the noise had been what caused Claire to stop me.

Claire pushed me away and scrambled to her feet looking out the window. Her face immediately lost its flush, turning white and her hands stopped trying to re-button her pants. She nodded her head towards the window, wanting me to look. It was difficult if not impossible to look away from her. The noise happened again and I looked out the window.