Worth The Battle (Heaven Hill Series) (28 page)

His proximity caused her pulse to race, and she had to question if this was residual from the night before, or just the fact that she loved being in such close quarters with him. “What do you want?” her tone was pleading.

“To try and get back to where we were, to get the trust back. I want to be able to let you in,” he told her quietly. It was hard to get those words out, even after his session with Doc Jones.

“What if I don’t wanna let you in?” she asked.

He sighed again and scooted over so that their bodies touched and he could lay his forehead on her shoulder. Grabbing her hands, he put them around his neck and forced her to turn so that she straddled the bench as well. Once she faced him, he lifted his head and forced her to look at him. When he slowly licked his lips, he didn’t miss the way her eyes followed the moist trail that he left behind. “I think you
do
want to let me in, and I think you kind of hate both you and me for it, but here’s the thing. I know you, Jessica Shea, and you know me. We can’t keep doing this to each other.”

He was right. They needed to start fresh, and she knew that. “Okay, Layne, I’ll take the bait. What do you want to do?”

“I have to let somebody in, it’s simple as that. I’m going crazy without someone to share my life with,” he started, rubbing her hands and arms where she had them looped around his neck. “I want that somebody to be you.”

She heard what he was saying, but didn’t know if she believed it. “What’s the catch?” she grinned, knowing with him, there was always something.

“I need to know that I can trust you.”

“You can,” she told him, rubbing her hands down his chest.

“Prove it. Show me what’s in that notebook.”

He would have to ask her that.

“If I show you this, I am showing you that I trust you with every single part of me, Layne, and you better not take it lightly.”

“I won’t.”

She knew from the way he said the words that he was telling the truth. Her eyes closed, and she handed him the notebook as embarrassment flamed on her cheeks.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

W
as it too much to ask for a sinkhole to open up right where they sat? Maybe a tornado to come whooshing by and take that notebook right out of Layne’s hands. Jessica was pretty sure that no one had ever died of utter humiliation and embarrassment, but she was looking to take that title.

It felt like hours as she heard Layne flip through the pages of the notebook. At several parts, she heard him clear his throat lowly. The sound very deep and masculine. She wanted to open her eyes and see if her words affected him, but there was another part of her that was flat scared to death. After what felt like a good ten years, she heard him set the notebook down.

“Wow,” he breathed.

Her eyes slowly opened. It took a moment for them to adjust to the bright light of the hot summer day. The sun in Kentucky was even brighter, more potent, than the sun in California. They stared at each other for long seconds.

“So.” He pursed his lips, a grin tilting up the left side of his mouth. “You write that stuff, huh?” He ran his tongue over his full bottom lip, the color much more pink than normal. A full smile threatened against the skin there.

Jessica didn’t know what else to do, so she smacked him hard on the chest, the leather of his cut dulling the blow. It reverberated against the wooden fence that placed a barrier between the side of the clubhouse and the porch. “Don’t make fun of me, Layne,” she whispered, humiliation causing her voice to be thin.

“I’m not,” he told her, grabbing her hand before she could inflict any more damage on him. “I swear I’m not, it just…surprised me is all,” he admitted.

She didn’t know what to say to that and remained quiet as he touched her. Flipping her hand over in his, he caressed her palm, fitting their fingers against one another and then entwining them so that their palms touched. It was so intimate for the person that he was now; she had to fight to keep her breathing under control.

“It surprised me too, when I started writing it.”

He cleared his throat again, scooting closer to her. “When was that?”

Did she tell him? Was now the time to be perfectly honest with him or should she hold a few things close to her and not let him in on every part of her? Who was she kidding…he was the one person she couldn’t keep secrets from. “When you were in Iraq. I would stay up at all hours of the night. My mind would race, and I would wonder if you were in trouble where you were. It started out as journaling, but then it became stories, and then it turned into this.”

“Any of this about me?” The shit-eating grin on his face made her want to punch him.

“Layne, if were any kind of gentleman you would
not
ask me that question.” Her face burned a bright red; she could feel it, all the way up to her ears.

“Your refusal to answer the question tells me everything I need to know,” the laughter was in his voice.

It felt so good to hear the carefreeness that she wondered if maybe she should continue the game, but the way he ran his tongue over his bottom lip, an all-knowing smile curving the edges, made her want to smack him again. “Shut up,” she whispered loudly at him.

“C’mon, Jess, I’ve known you a long time. You can be truthful with me,” he chided.

“Calling me Jess with that cute little grin on your face isn’t going to get you anywhere, Layne,” she mumbled, reaching for her notebook.

He held it just out of her reach and put his hand on her thigh, forcing her to stay seated as she tried to get up to get a longer reach. She gave him a pointed look, pursing her lips. She fought not to cross her arms over her chest and stomp her feet in the best temper tantrum she had ever had in her life. Her stomach rolled because she knew he could see right through her. Every page in that notebook was about him and what she wanted him to do to her.

“I think that’s where you’re wrong.” His voice was low and deep.

She squirmed as he moved the hand on her thigh further up her leg and slipped his fingers under the hem of her shorts. Her breathing quickened and her belly warmed from the heat of his fingers there. The touch was soft, but effective.

“I’m right,” she told him, but her voice sounded lame, even to her own ears.

It was an impulsive thought, but the fact that she trusted him with something like this made him feel like he was ten feet tall and bullet proof. “Let’s get out of here.”

Her heart raced.
This
was the Layne she knew and remembered—always up for anything. When they had been together in Georgia, he loved to look at her and ask her to just go somewhere with him.

“Go where?”

He could see in her eyes that he’d gotten her. There was no longer the guarded look of embarrassment there; she was genuinely interested in going with him. “Anywhere but right here.”

She grabbed his hand where it still played at the hem of her shorts. Her green eyes were bright as she said these words to him. “If I go with you, I’m showing you that I trust you, and things have got to change, Layne. You’ve got to let me in. I trust you, you trust me.”

A few days ago, those words would have stopped his heart. They would have scared him to death, but it was like reading the words in her notebook had broken a dam inside him. For her to admit that those sexual desires were all about him gave him a power that he’d never had before. “Okay,” he nodded.

Without one more thought, she let him all but drag her through the clubhouse and into the garage; there he opened the door to his car for her and then jogged around the side. Once he sat in the driver’s seat, he glanced over at her and laughed softly. “I haven’t done anything like this since Georgia.”

“Me neither,” she whispered.

“Obviously there were other guys,” he shook his head.

“Just like there were other girls,” she pointed out. “You forget that I know you, Layne. We weren’t married.”

“But you cared about me way more than you should have,” his voice was low as he said those words.

“Forget it.” She put her hand on his thigh. “We both made mistakes, and at some point we’re both going to have to come clean about those mistakes, but right here, right now,” she shrugged, “I want to go with you, I want to do something a little crazy and be those two crazy kids we were back then. Let’s forget everything for just a few hours.”

That sounded so good to him, it released all the tension in his neck and back. He rolled his neck on his shoulders, sighing when it popped loudly. “I’m ready if you are.”

“I’ve been ready for years, but do you have to tell someone where we’re going?”

He pulled his cell phone out and shot off a text message to Liam, Tyler, and Jagger. “There, now no one will wonder where we’ve gone. It’s just me and you for the rest of the afternoon. How’s that sound?”

She breathed deeply, looking at the bright sunshine of the day. “Like heaven.”

He put the car in gear and backed out before turning them down the drive. As they eased out onto Porter Pike, he took her hand in his and hit the gas pedal hard, causing her to shriek in surprise. As they rounded the first curve, all that could be heard was their carefree laughter. Laughter had never felt so good.

Liam lay on the couch in his living room; Denise curled on one side of him, Tatum on his stomach, when his cell phone beeped. He groaned, hoping that the sound didn’t wake up the little girl who lay there. They’d had another rough night, but it was getting easier.

“Who is that?” Denise whispered, not opening her eyes from where she lay on his bicep.

A grin covered his face, and a deep laugh rose up in his throat. That caused her to look at him, and she took in the deep concaves of his dimples that held a real smile. “What?” she grinned. The way his tired eyes glanced at his phone warmed her heart.

“Layne. I think he’s gonna be okay.”

“Really?” She ran a hand over his stomach, careful not to touch the sleeping baby there. “I know you’ve been worried.”

“I’ve been getting reports from Doc Jones. You know that she can’t tell me anything regarding his information, but she did tell me that she thought he was coming around, even after just a few sessions. She texted me this morning and said she thought they had a breakthrough. I’m thinking she was right, because Layne just texted me and said he was taking off for the afternoon with Jessica.”

He ran his hand over Denise’s hair and leaned down, kissing her on the forehead.

“Good,” Denise yawned. “From what Meredith said, Jessica is totally in love with him and has been for a very long time. I hope they can work it out.”

“I do too,” he yawned back at her. “You and Meredith need to leave it alone though. Just because the two of you are happy with Tyler and me doesn’t mean that everybody
can
work it out. Those two have a lot working against them.”

“They have a lot working for them too,” she retorted.

“They do, but they don’t need the two of you all up in their business. We need to focus on getting some sleep while she’s asleep. I can’t keep walking around like a zombie,” he yawned again.

“Me neither,” she mumbled. “I’ll leave them alone, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t hope that they figure it out.”