Worth the Chase (5 page)

“About this place we’re renting...” I said to her as I guided us out of the library and down the steps.

“It’s beautiful! I already saw photos of it. My dad made sure everything turned out good with the property.” What she meant by that was that her dad and my dad had teamed up and ran checks on the owners.

“Great! Now I’m trusting you, Tay. I haven’t seen this place. I just don’t want to be stuck living with people who don’t pay their bills, or buy food for themselves.” My voice was uncertain. Did I really want to move out of student housing to end up in a place with shitty roommates? If I wanted me and Taylor to live together, I really had no other choice.

“It’ll be fine, Gia. I think you’re way too worried. In fact, I think you’re so worried that you should go get us some wine and we should totally have a girls night of catching up?” She winked at me, giving me her pouty eyes. The ones that I’m sure no one, not even I was immune to.

“Fine.” I sighed. “But I get to pick the wine. The last time I let you pick it tasted like I was drinking dry ass water.”

“My wine tastes are very appealing, you just fail to know what good wine is,” she shot back, and I laughed as we bumped shoulders. God, how I had missed her, missed this very interaction.

We walked down the steps to my car in complete silence, just enjoying being together again when I stopped for a moment, catching a glimpse of something across the courtyard. I lingered there for a moment drinking him in, my eyes knew that body− the silhouette, the manner in which he stood.

“Gia?” Taylor called my name breaking me out of my inner thoughts, and I knew we needed to go. At least before he noticed us or Taylor started asking questions about who I was staring at.

“Yeah sorry, I thought I saw someone I knew,” I lied, almost too easily. I didn’t want to explain my one night stand to her, or the fact that I kind of liked Chase but failed at admitting it. Keeping this secret to myself until I figured out exactly how I felt about everything that had transpired between us was the best thing to do.

I stood in my Carpentry class, safety glasses and protective gloves secured to my face and hands. My work area was covered in sawdust as I cut another piece of wood. I was dead set on finishing this extended shoe rack I was making for my mom, so I found myself coming in before class and staying even later more times than not.

A hand landed firmly on my shoulder as I turned the saw off and grabbed another piece of wood to mark the measurements.

“You keep showing this type of dedication and I have no doubt a ton of union crews will want you,” Jacobs, a master carpenter who was responsible for training us stood before me admiring my work. He was my mentor, the man that made my dreams and aspirations not seem that farfetched.

“I hope so because right now I don’t know what’s next for me after graduation,” I spoke to him honestly.

“You’ll figure it out. That’s what life is all about. It’ll happen the way it is intended to happen.”

“You’re like my own personal guru,” I chuckled slightly as I grabbed another piece of wood to mark up.

“That’s what I’m here for, but seriously I want you to come by tomorrow morning. Only if you want to. We can look at some apprenticeships, you can fill out some entry applications, and I’ll write you a sparkly little recommendation letter.”

“I don’t know…” I mumbled, not sure if I wanted to take that route. What if I applied and no one accepted me? What then? “What if no one wants me?” I dropped the wood and looked him dead in the eyes, the feeling of not being good enough eating away at me.

“Sometimes you have to take a risk and go from there, but most of all you have to have confidence that your work speaks for itself. Any master carpenter would be lucky to have you working underneath them. If they can’t see that, then you could always spend another year training with me to perfect your trade. Either way, I got your back.” At his words my mind went back to my mother and something she had said to me years ago.

Dreams don’t come true for people who aren’t willing to go after them.

Time passed extremely fucking slow, a deliberate attack on me I’m certain. Maybe because I’ve been a major fucking douche to everyone that spoke to me, or even looked my way. Or the fact that I couldn’t shake the memories of Gia’s body against mine as I moved on top of her, let alone the decision that needed to be made about my future. Whatever it was, I couldn’t seem to pull myself from inside of my head, and now I have to deal with this rental shit, all because Chance doesn’t have the time today to do it. I should just say fuck it. It’s not like Mom and Dad need the money. It’s not like we need roommates either.

They could be hot chicks, two for one?
The little devil sitting on my shoulder whispered in my ear.

Shaking my head of the shit that usually gets me into trouble, I shove off my bed and head into my closet knowing that I have to find something to wear. Apparently, just lounging in my surf shorts with no shirt on isn’t presentable to Chance.

I roll my eyes at our earlier conversation. He’s always the mature, more responsible person. The person who thinks with his whole brain instead of one side like myself. He takes everyone’s opinions into account and cares for others where I only seem to care about my wants. In reality, he is the better version of me, and I wonder if I will ever be enough for someone one day.

 Grabbing a pair of brown Cargo shorts and a Henley tee off the floor of my closet I head straight for the shower. I check the time knowing that if I take my time and leave my soon-to-be roommates waiting at the door for a short time, that maybe, just maybe they won’t rent from us. An evil smirk forms on my face as I turn the water to hot and jump in. The water causes tingles to form over my body as the hot water washes away the sweat and hate I have for myself.

Showers are my therapy, my way of dealing with my own ugliness. They give me a chance to clean away the insecurities that reside inside of me and to start over again, even when I know there isn’t a reset button for this thing called life.

I’m twenty-two years old and still feel as if my life after graduation is undecided. There are two routes I could take after being on a one-way street for the past three years. What I really need is a road map to figuring out my next move. I could extend my pre-apprenticeship training, or cross my fingers and hope that I am assigned to a local union where I would work within a union carpentry crew, doing jobs as a First Year Apprentice while working my way up to a journeyman, and if I’m lucky a master carpenter one day.

I look down at myself wondering where I went wrong. In the beginning it was all fun and games, everyone was experimenting their first year of college. Not saying I was inexperienced before then because I’m no saint, and I experimented a lot with a lot of girls that year, but I’m more than this playboy I have presented myself as. I just don’t know how to come back from it.

In high school I stayed in trouble for being the class clown, teachers always said I didn’t take anything seriously. Being sent to the principal’s office one time too many landed me in a carpentry class. The principal felt I needed something to keep my mind and hands preoccupied, that way I wouldn’t have time to goof off. Four years spent in shop and I decided it was something I wanted to take further.

When I signed up for classes my first year here at Auburn they were all general studies’ classes, but when my second year rolled around I was intent on making up for all the bullshit I did freshman year. I extended my general degree to an advanced college degree where I would take classes in new construction, restoration, and preservation carpentry fields. I was ready to make my mom and Dad proud, the same way Chance effortlessly did time and time again, but by then everyone knew my reputation. Guys wanted to hang around me and girls wanted to bang me. They used me to get themselves up the ladder and in return I felt useless when I wasn’t being used. So I became the user so I wouldn’t have to feel the loneliness when everyone walked away, and if I’m being honest that’s the worst feeling imaginable.

Forcing myself to move on and forget the shitty thoughts racing through me all at once, I wash my body and then my hair. I can feel the time dwindling down to when I have to fake a smile and pretend like I’m not raging on the inside as I stand beneath the steady stream of hot water. Once all the soap is washed from my body, I walk out of the floor to ceiling glass shower and grab the brown towel from the hook next to the shower door.

“Fuck!” I yell out loud as I grab my phone and see that I have three missed calls from Chance. Did the doorbell really ring and I missed it? Drying off in record speed I slip into my shorts and then throw on my shirt, not worrying about what my hair looks like.

A moment later, my deodorant and cologne are on and I’m ready to present the house to these new possible roommates. I hit the send key and hustle down the hall towards the front of the house. The phone rings and rings and rings while my feet hit the marble flooring of the kitchen.

“What the fuck were you doing? I called three times!” Chance’s voice is hushed as he finally picks up his phone. He’s probably in the library tutoring, automatically leading my mind to thoughts of Gia. The way she pushes her hair behind her ear and taps her pencil against the table when she is studying. I must have stayed quiet far longer than usual because an impatient huff filters into the phone, alerting me to speak up.

“Oh sorry, Dad! I didn’t realize I was to report to you on everything. In case you need a play by play, I was beating it off in the shower.” My teeth ground together with each word. For some unforeseen reason I was pissed, no I was livid, ready to rip him apart and for what reasoning?

Gia.
That’s what my heart said while my mind had thoughts of their own, so I went with my mind, not ready to acknowledge my heart. I’m no good for her anyways.

“Well, dickhead I called to let you know the roommates are running late. They were having an issue with their fall schedules. I just thought I would call and give you a heads up. Obviously, that wasn’t needed as you’re easily getting it up.” He attempted a joke, but it was weak and I was too angry to laugh.

“Ha-ha-ha. Funny,” I mocked arrogantly.

“God, you need to get laid. You have been acting like this since−” I wasn’t about to let him finish his thought. No fucking way. Instead I interrupted, cutting him off before he could get another word out.

“Whatever. Thanks for the heads up, asshole.” I hit the end key on my cell as I stared at the counter in the kitchen for a moment. I needed to breathe, to cool down. I had no real reasoning to be this worked up.

“Breathe,” I told myself forcing some deep breaths into my lungs. I felt like a pussy, like a girl on the verge of a panic attack.

Bracing myself against the counter on my forearms, I stood for a long moment contemplating how I was going to move forward with all the shit emotions that were swirling around deep inside my head.

What if you…

NO! I almost screamed out loud. I felt like I was being eaten alive, like the love bug had finally come and bit me right in the fucking ass. There was no going to Gia, there was no dragging my ass to her and pleading for a date.

I refused.

But I wanted her.

I craved her.

Her lips. Her hair. Her vanilla fucking scent and those chocolate eyes. My cock was getting hard at the very image of her in my mind. The way her back arched as she reached her orgasm. Fuck, this girl was doing things to me. To my mind, to my body, and to my heart.