Worth the Fight (Accidentally on Purpose) (26 page)

“Okay,” I said slowly. After a moment, I returned the broom and dustpan to the closet I found them in. Iris had made her way behind the counter. She produced a box and pushed it towards me. I murmured thanks and picked it up.

“You go on home,” she said dismissively. “I’ll see you tomorrow, no doubt.”

“Are you okay, Iris?” I asked her.

She looked down at the floor. “I’ll be good by morning.”

I looked at my watch and sighed. “I’ll make sure you get home okay.”

She argued, but I had already grabbed her jacket and purse and keys. I ushered her outside against her arguments and locked the door. I dropped her keys into her purse and handed that and her jacket to her. I had brought my car instead of taking public transportation. I walked her around the corner, with my hand at her elbow to steady her and to catch her the few times she stumbled. I helped her into my car and then got in. I d
emanded her address and then punched it into my GPS. As I pulled away from the curb, I called Emmy.

“Hey,” she said tiredly.

“Hey, babe,” I said. “I’m driving Iris home and then I’ll be home.”

“Something happen to her car?”

“No,” I sighed. “I’ll explain when I get home. I just want to make sure she gets home safely.”

“Okay, no problem. I’ll wait up for you even though your son ran me into the ground today. I swear I’m going to tie him up one day.”

“It is my duty to inform you that I would have to turn you in for that,” I joked.

“Yeah, go for it,” she said. “See you in a bit.”

“I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

I ended the phone call and slipped the phone into my pocket.

“You’re not going to really tell her, are you?” Iris asked me.

I glanced over at her apprehensive expression.

“Of course I’m going to tell her,” I said. “Trust me. E
mmy of all people will understand. That girl used to outdrink everyone.”

“I’m already humiliated,” she said, resting her forehead in her hand. “God. What will she think of me?”

I grinned. “Knowing my wife, she’ll be jealous that she didn’t get to share a drink with you.”

She sighed loudly, but no longer objected to me telling Emmy.

“Sorry I kept asking you questions,” I said sincerely. “Your personal life isn’t any of my business.”

She didn’t say anything for several minutes. I was co
ntent to let the silence sit between us.

“Sometimes, even when things are really good, darkness finds a way to sneak up on you,” she finally said. She was sta
ring out of the window.

“That can happen to any of us,” I agreed.

She laughed cynically, but said nothing. We were almost to her apartment, so I didn’t feel the need to fill in the silence with encouraging words. I really didn’t know what to say anyway. I didn’t know what her problem was, and not that I am a heartless bastard, but Iris wasn’t my problem. 

I helped her out of the car and walked her to her door. I waited for her to unlock it and open it and then I was already backing away.

“Take those damn shoes off,” I said to her. “See you tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Luke,” she said to my back.

“No problem,” I called over my shoulder.

When I got home, I found Emmy in the kitchen reheating my dinner. I embraced her from behind and kissed her neck.

“You didn’t have to do this,” I said, taking the plate from her. “I could have reheated my own dinner.”

“You had a long day, too,” she pointed out and sat down at the table. I sat down and pulled her swollen feet into my lap before I began to eat.

“So, tell me about Iris,” she said around a yawn.

I told her everything that had happened, starting with her telling me to drop by for muffins for Emmy. I didn’t leave out any details, including my thoughts about how Iris wasn’t my problem and I just wanted to get home to my own family.

“Poor Iris,” Emmy said, frowning. “Maybe she’s just depressed? I mean as far as I know, she doesn’t have anyone, not really. She has siblings and parents and all of that, but she doesn’t have any kids or boyfriends or a husband or anything.”

“You know far more than I do,” I admitted. “None of that ever comes up when I’m talking to her.”

“After I give birth to your second spawn,” she said, rubbing her belly. “Maybe I’ll offer to take her out for a night out on the town. We can get drunk and giggle about cute guys.”

I raised my eyebrows at her.

“Okay, okay,” she relented. “We won’t get drunk.”

“But you’ll still giggle about cute guys?”

“Psh. Yeah.”

“I’m going to knock that idea right out of your head as soon as I’m done eating my dinner,” I promised.

She gave me a wicked grin. “I hope so, Mr. Kessler. I hope so.”

“Oh, fuck it,” I said pushing my plate away. I gently pushed her feet out of my lap and stood up. Emmy shrieked when I swept her into my arms and started for the stairs.

Chapter Twenty-Six

I cannot begin to describe the exhilaration I felt watching my daughter’s birth. The love I felt for my wife expanded so widely inside of me, I thought I would combust into millions of pieces of heart shaped confetti.

“I’m so glad you were here,” Emmy sobbed as the doctors and nurses checked Kaitlyn’s vitals and measurements moments after she was born. Emmy gripped my shirt fiercely. “I’m so sorry you missed this before.”

“Hey, we’re not going to talk about that,” I said, pressing my forehead against hers. “You were amazing today. I am so proud of you and I am so grateful for what you just did for us.”

I wiped away her tears and kissed her gently on the lips. “I love you.”

Emmy only cried harder when they put our daughter in her arms. “She’s beautiful,” she said through her tears.

“So are you,” I said adoringly and pushed her hair out of her face before turning my gaze to my precious daughter.

“I’m never, ever,
ever
doing this,” Mayson said from the corner she had squeezed herself into when Emmy started pushing.

I had managed to convince her to come out of the corner to meet Kaitlyn, but the moment the nurses tried to get the baby to latch on to Emmy’s breast, Mayson was disgusted again.

“I’m
never
giving birth,” she snarled to us as she hurried across the room to the door. “And the only lips that are touching my tits are my man’s!” She stormed out of the room in a huff.

Later that night while Emmy slept, exhausted from twe
nty-two hours of labor, I held Kaitlyn in my arms and danced gently around the room, singing “Isn’t She Lovely” by Stevie Wonder. I was so damn happy. It wasn’t possible to be so happy, but I was. In a day or so, Emmy and I would be taking Kaitlyn home to Lucas and our family would be complete.

I felt as if all of my dreams had come true. I had the woman I always wanted, with beautiful children and a strong and supportive family. We had a nice home in a family friendly neighborhood and good friends. My career was higher than any of my expectations and continuously climbing. My sister was healthy and my mom seemed to have many years left in her yet. How could I ask for anything more?

There was nothing more to be had.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Iris and I never spoke about her drunken night at the shop again. Apparently she and Emmy discussed it, but I didn’t ask about it. I didn’t even acknowledge the later times I saw her drinking. On the surface, things went back to normal as far as she was concerned.

When Kay Kay was a month old, Emmy brought her and Lucas to the firm to meet everyone. Even Kacey’s dry ass had a smile for the beautiful baby, but when I caught her smiling, she scowled and looked away.

Emmy started meeting me once or twice a week at Iris’s. She tried to get out without the kids for a little while, but sometimes she came with them. I was always glad to see my kids, but when she came alone, her hands were free to hold on to me while I kissed her senseless. When the doctor cleared her six weeks after Kay Kay was born, she came directly to my office…and in my office…and on my office desk…and in my office chair…

Everything was perfect.

And just like that, everything fucking shattered…

That morning, I made love to my wife before leaving for work. I almost didn’t go into work. I wanted to stay in bed with her all day, but she reminded me that we had two small children who would interrupt our day of doing nasty things under the covers.

Before leaving, I ate breakfast with Lucas and read him a Dr. Seuss book. I fed Kaitlyn a bottle of breast milk and changed her diaper. After kissing Emmy and the kids goodbye, I told her I’d see her later in the evening and to be careful going to and from the doctor’s office, because the weather was supposed to get bad. I suggested she ask Diana to come help her out and then I left. I called my mom using the Bluetooth in my car to see how she was doing, and hung up satisfied that she was doing well.

In the office, everything was going so smoothly that I felt I could sneak out for a little while and grab a cinnamon bun and a cup of coffee. I was a ball of energy when I walked into the shop and waved at the regulars. Iris and I exchanged our usual pleasantries as she bagged my cinnamon bun and poured my coffee.

“Do you have a minute?” she asked.

“Sure,” I said, putting my nose inside the bag. I loved the smell of a fresh baked cinnamon bun. “What’s up?”

“I need help moving something in the back,” she said and nodded towards the back.

“You really need to hire some hot young college guy to move stuff for you,” I teased as I followed her to the back.

“Why do that when I can have a hot lawyer move things for me instead?” she threw back over her shoulder.

“I don’t look at Steve like that,” I joked. “But if you think he’s hot, well okay then.”

She led me to her office and not the supply room, but I didn’t think anything of it. I raised an eyebrow when she closed the door until it was only open a little bit.

“Actually,” she said, rubbing her hands together and looking nervous. “I wanted to talk to you about something. I didn’t want anyone else to overhear.”

“Okay,” I said slowly. I guessed she had a legal question. She probably had something going on, and I didn’t blame her for not wanting her customers to overhear her problems.

“Okay,” she breathed before looking up at me. She took a step closer to me. I automatically took a step back. I don’t know why. I usually don’t step away from anyone. Vivian intimidates people all of the time by stepping into their personal space and making them step back until their back hits a wall, but it never works on me. I never step back from her. In my lifetime, a few guys have stepped towards me, ready for a fight. Even if they were bigger than me, I didn’t step back. I don’t step back.

But when Iris stepped towards me, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. If I were a cat, my back would be arched I would be hissing.

“I think there’s something happening between us,” she said, licking her lips nervously. “I think there is at least pote
ntial for something to happen between us, and to tell you the truth, I’m getting impatient. I’m ready to push it to the next level.”

Say what?

I felt my head fall to one side, tilting like a confused dog as I studied her.

“Wait. What?” I said.

“I’m attracted to you, Luke, and I think you’re attracted to me,” she said simply. “And I’m ready to move forward.”

Did I fucking miss something? What. The. Hell.

“Iris,” I said, shaking myself from a brief stunned silence. “You’re friends with my wife. Emmy adores you. Have you been drinking this morning?”

That had to be the only explanation for the words that were falling out of her mouth.

“No, I haven’t been drinking,” she snapped. “I mean every word I just said. And I love Emmy. She’s great, but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t anything between us.”

“Are you hearing what you are saying?” I asked her, tr
ying not to snap. “You just told me my wife is great and then suggested that there is something between us. My wife is more than great, Iris. My wife is fucking fantastic and there is nothing between you and me.”

“Give me an opportunity here,” she said, almost plea
ding. “I know you have to feel something, too. You’re in here every day, we talk, we flirt, and you seem to really care about me.”

I put my hands on my hips and looked up at the ceiling. She
was
fucking serious.

“Iris, I treat you like I treat every other woman that isn’t my wife. You’re blowing everything out of proportion.”

She shook her head. “I don’t think that I am.” She took another step towards me and I took a step back again.

“I can’t,” I said to her, shaking my head. I looked at her more carefully and I swear her eyes were a little scary. I almost felt like she was going to pull a big ass knife out of her apron and go all Glen Close on me. I chose my words delicately. “You’re…you’re a great woman, beautiful and intelligent…and sexy, but…I have my wife and two kids.”

She took another step forward and I took another step back.

“I know,” she said, sounding desperate. “I love Emmy and the kids but I can’t…I can’t help the way I feel about you. I’m not asking you to leave them – just give me one night. One night, Luke. Or one day. I’ll even close the shop for a day and we can go somewhere and just be together for one day.”

I was beginning to feel sick to my stomach. I had been going to her shop for months and just being a nice guy and had no idea that she was building this crazy idea of us together in her crazy mind. I just wanted to get the fuck out of there and go hold my wife.

“One day will turn into one more day and one more day will turn into another day after that until it is out of control, Iris,” I told her, and realized that my choice of words could have done nothing but give her hope. I wasn’t trying to give her any hope.  “And this…this is madness. I would never do that to Emmy.”

“I know you feel something for me, Luke,” she said. “Don’t you think about what we could be like together?”

“No, Iris, I don’t think about it,” I said, thoroughly di
sgusted. I never once considered any kind of relationship with Iris besides the one I thought we already had. I was perfectly happy with being friendly to the woman who made my favorite pastry and treated my wife and kids well.

“The fact that you are still standing here and having this conversation tells me that you aren’t as satisfied with your life at home as you pretend to be,” Iris said.

Okay, she was definitely delusional. Why do I always end up with delusional women? Even Emmy was delusional at one point, but Emmy is a fucking goddess and Emmy fixed her shit.

“I love my wife,” I said simply. There was nothing else to say, but that.

“I don’t doubt that you do, but if life with Emmy is so perfect, you wouldn’t still be standing here considering this.”

“I’m not…” I said, confused as to why all of my rejection was translating as consideration.

She stepped forward and I stepped back until I hit her desk. She put her hands on my arms. I should have stepped away. I should have pushed her away. I wanted to, but she was obviously unstable. Though we never discussed that night I took her home, I had spotted her on a few other occasions drinking in the shop, both during and after hours. I didn’t want to get involved again, and she was a grown ass woman. It wasn’t my place or business, though I wondered if she wasn’t having some issues. Sometimes she seemed like she was struggling to get through a day, but again, I didn’t ask. It’s not that I was heartless, but it just was not my place. If she wanted to discuss it with Emmy, than that would have been fine.

Now with her standing there with her hands on me, I had the urge to slap some sense into her, but I don’t hit women. E
ver. I stood there, glaring at her.

“But you are,” she said softly. “I have my hands on you and you’re not pushing me away. I made a proposal and you didn’t scurry away back to your wife. You’re still here. We’ve been flirting with this for months, Luke. I’m tired of flirting. I’m forty-three years old and I’m over the flirting game. I know what I want and I don’t want to play games to get it. I don’t know…maybe one day will lead to another day and another day after that, but if you think that will happen then it means som
ething. It means that maybe…maybe there’s a chance for us. Don’t you want to find out? Do you really want to be left wondering ‘what if’ when we can find out?”

I sighed in exasperation and pushed her hands off of me. I opened my mouth to speak and with animal reflexes she was on me. She wrapped her arms around my neck and planted her lips on mine. I stood there for maybe one stunned second before I was peeling her off of me and pushing her away. It felt like an eternity that her hands were on me, and my lips burned with shame for not blocking her before she could get that far, and for not reacting in a fraction of a second instead of the second it took. I was disgusted with her and disgusted with myself for not walking the fuck out of the room the moment she opened her damn mouth.

I couldn’t breathe. The ramifications of my lack of reaction ran through my head and knocked the breath out of me.

“No. I can’t do this with you,” I said, pushing her further away from me. “Oh my god.” I was in a full blown panic now, bent over, ready to heave. My life was fucking perfect. I wasn’t going to let Iris or anyone else ruin my family. “I can’t. I
won’t
,” I said aloud to myself.

“Luke,” Iris put her hands together in a plea.

“No, Iris!” I roared. “Fuck.” I put my hands in my hair, pulling hard in frustration and fear. I started pacing back and forth across the room. I couldn’t believe that I let this happen. I couldn’t believe that I just stood there, possibly fucking up everything. “Fuck fuck fuck. I can’t believe I just did that. I can’t believe I just did that.”

“I know you’re torn but -”

I said I never hit a woman, but Iris was pushing my limits. I got in her face so suddenly, she shrunk back as if I
would
hit her. “I’m
not
fucking torn. I’m a fucking idiot. I’m not coming back here – don’t come to my office again, don’t call me, and stay away from my family. If Emmy comes in here, you give her a fucking muffin or whatever it is she wants and stay away from her. I had to fight so hard to get her; I’m not going to throw my life with her away for you or anyone else.”

A bell sounded from the front. I hadn’t even noticed that she had put one up there when I came in.

“You stay the fuck away from me,” I said with a brutal quietness that scared even me.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured and began wiping away tears.

She turned away from me and opened the door, but she stopped at the threshold, staring at something I couldn’t see. For a moment I thought this was going to be the part where she turned around and stabbed me with something. I stepped up behind her, hell bent on shoving her out of my way so I could get the hell away from her. I had told her to continue giving Emmy whatever she asked for, but I needed to tell Emmy what happened. If this had happened to Emmy with another guy, I would want to know. If she found out on her own, she may assume the worse on my part, and she may never forgive me.

I looked up, ready to push Iris out of my way and locked eyes with Emmy.