Worth the Fight (Accidentally on Purpose) (8 page)

Chapter Nine

After that night when she told me she had to escape life, Emmy stopped closing herself off in the bedroom every night, but her smiles were small and sedated, and laughter was none
xistent. Sometimes she would say something incredibly smart ass and I would get my hopes up that the old Emmy was finally coming through, but her eyes always gave her away. There was something completely broken inside of her. It held her back, it held her down, and consistently snuffed out whatever contentment she managed to find. There were times when it would seem that this broken thing was on the mend, but it would snap her back into the dark suddenly and unexpectedly.

I gave Emmy a lot of credit though, she kept trying. She focused hard on putting my firm together. She focused even harder on being a good mom, and even when it looked like she just wanted to suffer alone, she made an effort to be friendly. Whereas in the past, she participated in family functions b
ecause maybe she thought she had to, she went out of her way to draw closer to my sisters and mother. It had to be very hard for her to put herself out there over and over while struggling to breathe on the inside.

The nightmares didn’t fade. Sometimes I’d stand in the dark doorway and just listen. They were all very similar. Som
eone was attacking her, and though the dialogue would sometimes change, the ending was always the same. It didn’t take too long for me to hear the name that I had been suspecting. When she begged Kyle to stop hitting her, I had to hold my breath to keep myself from vomiting. I never wanted her to know that I heard her nightmares. I knew it would just make her regress, but that first night when she cried for Kyle to stop, I sat on the edge of the bed and stroked her hair until she quieted. Whether or not she knew I was there, I don’t know. I didn’t ask and she didn’t tell.

Late one night after listening to Em have another nigh
tmare, I slipped out of the apartment and drove over to Claire’s. It was well past that seventy-two hour deadline, by weeks, but I had to make sure that she had done what she said she would. On my way over I worried that maybe she didn’t do the backup birth control, and thought about what that could mean for me, for Lucas, and even for Emmy.

I didn’t warn her I was coming over. I wasn’t sure if she had anyone over or if she would even let me in, but she was alone and only reluctantly did she open her door for me.

“Why aren’t you home with your son?” she asked dryly with her arms folded across her midsection.

“I needed to follow up on something with you,” I said, refusing to go any further than a few feet into her apartment.

“If you’re here to find out whether or not I went to the pharmacy…” she took a deep breath. “I didn’t.”

My eyes must have almost fallen out of my head. I opened my mouth to speak, but she cut me off.

“Don’t worry, Luke. I got my period.”

I let out a ragged breath I didn’t realize I had been hol
ding. My anger quickly came to a boil.

“Why didn’t you go to the pharmacy and take the Plan B, Claire?” I roared. “Why would you even fuck with that?”

“Not that you would care,” she yelled back. “But I was in a car accident the following morning!” She ripped her robe open and my eyes were immediately drawn to the fading bruise across her chest from a seatbelt. “Keeping your child out of my belly was the last thing on my mind!”

“Shit,” I said and pushed my hand through my hair as I stared at the bruising. “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t care if you’re sorry.” Her voice broke over words as she pulled her robe together again. Tears dripped from her eyes at an alarming rate.

“Claire,” I said, taking a step towards her, but she held up her hand.

“Just leave,” she said. “Just go. You got what you needed, as usual. Now go home to your family.”

I was such a fucking jerk. She was right – our whole rel
ationship had always been about me and what I needed. If I had been a decent guy, I would have left her alone so that she could find someone to give her what
she
needed. Now that I knew we wouldn’t be sharing a child, I could finally do that.

Saying sorry again wasn’t going to have any positive e
ffect. I gave her an apologetic look instead and let myself out. I went back home and was surprised to find Emmy awake and moving around in the kitchen.

“Hey,” I said, tossing my keys onto the counter.

“Hey,” she said groggily. “Working late?”

“Yes,” I lied. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” she lied and took a sip of hot tea. “Would you like some hot tea?”

“Yes,” I said as I watched her.

A few minutes later we were both standing in the kitchen sipping tea. We didn’t speak, but I found some comfort in her presence and hoped that she found some in mine.

*~~~*

Vivian Deluca was my arch enemy. She had been my arch enemy since I ran up against her in court in my first year as an attorney. Viv was only a couple of years older than me, but she already had a strong foothold in one of Chicago’s biggest, most reputable law firms. She ate guys like me for breakfast with her bare hands and dabbed away our tears that clung to her lips with high quality linen napkins. What made matters worse was that Vivian was sex in a suit. With smooth edible looking skin the color of mocha, Vivian looked like she was a descendent of gods and goddesses. Her dark hair was always pulled into a fierce bun or a tight braid that trailed down between her shoulder blades, and she had a body that appeared both well exercised and well fed. She had a slim waistline, but generous hips and an ass that made even my mouth water. Her suits always perfectly outlined her well-endowed chest and long, shapely legs, but she was a professional through and through. There was only always just barely a glimpse of cleavage and her skirts were modestly short. Vivian had eyes the color of honey, but they were shrewd and calculating, and at times I’m sure many have glimpsed the depths of both heaven and hell in them.

Vivian had the strongest personality I had ever encou
ntered. She was a bully in high heels. She didn’t bullshit and she didn’t play nice. Her sweet smile fooled only the foolish, and there were a lot of foolish people in Chicago.

Viv had been absent on the legal scene for over a year now. She won a huge case against the workers of a huge mult
ibillion dollar company and then went on a sabbatical. There were a lot of whispers around town. Some people said a huge scandal broke out between her and one of the partners. Some said that her evil deeds finally caught up to her and someone took her out, and then there were the rumors that she had a nervous breakdown. I didn’t know which one to believe. I was disappointed that she was gone, because she was great competition in court and I loved to see the look on her face the three times she lost against me.

Two weeks before Lucas’s first birthday, Vivian Deluca suddenly reappeared on the scene. I had met one of my clients at a pub close to the office. The client had to leave because of an emergency at home. I was just about to settle the bill when she slid onto the bar stool beside me. I didn’t really look at her right away. The place was getting crowded and all of the barstools would soon be taken.

“Luke Kessler,” Vivian’s familiar voice caught my attention.

I snapped my head up and met her honey eyes.

“Vivian Deluca,” I said. “What a surprise. I thought I was rid of you for good.”

“Oh, I’ll bet you did. You and every other attorney in town.” She turned slightly, crossing one leg over another. She was close enough so that her crossed leg brushed up against mine. She caught the bartender’s attention and ordered a drink.

“So,” I said, leaning back to assess her. “Where have you been? Visiting your vacation home in hell? Torturing small children? Drowning puppies?”

“Aww,” she said, giving me a look of pity. “You really did miss me, didn’t you, Luke?”

“As much as I’d miss having someone pluck my fingernails out with a pair of pliers, Vivian,” I said cheerfully.

“I love it when you talk torture,” she grinned.

“There are a lot of rumors floating around about you,” I said as I threw money down on the bar.

“Oh, I’m sure they’re all quite interesting, but the truth is unfortunately very boring.”

“And that is?” I prodded.

The bartender put her drink on the bar. She picked it up and took a long sip while I waited for her to answer.

“My divorce was final a week before my last case,” she said. Her smile did not falter, and that was a little scary and impressive. “My children were having a hard time. I needed to focus on my family. At least two of the rumors were somewhat true. Our home had become a hell and my children were tortured.”

I stared at her for a moment. There was no reason for her to have made that up.

“I’m sorry,” I said meaningfully.

“Don’t be sorry,” she said. “I’m not. Everything is fine now.” She took another long sip of her drink as she openly looked me over. “I heard you became someone’s father.”

“I did,” I said with a nod. “He will be one in a couple of weeks.”

“I heard your child and your mother both live with you but you aren’t together. That must be a frustrating relationship.”

“Uhh…” I said stupidly. “It’s…a functional relationship.”

“Oh, let’s not talk in circles, Luke. It must be a
sexually
frustrating relationship.”

I stared at her for a moment before breaking out in a grin.

“You know, I did miss how straight forward you are,” I said. I checked my watch to make a show of my impending departure. “As much as I enjoyed this little reunion, I must be on my way.”

“Going home to your functional family?” she asked co
ndescendingly.

“See you in court sometime, Vivian,” I said as I got to my feet. I found myself standing entirely too close to her.

“Or you can see me before then,” she said, looking at me thoughtfully.

“Hopefully not,” I retorted. I started to move away, but shockingly, she slipped her hand into my jacket and placed her palm on my chest.

“We’re both single, responsible adults,” she said in a businesslike manner. “We can have a no strings attached sexual relationship.”

I was shocked by her proposal. Although I knew she was a beautiful woman, I never once thought about taking her to bed. I was okay with stepping down from my dominant side from time to time for a good time, but Vivian seemed like the type that would want to run the show. Not only would she want to run the show, but she would want me in submission. I don’t submit.

“While that sounds very exciting, I am going to decline the offer,” I said and carefully removed her hand from my chest.

“I understand,” she said with her sweet smile. “You don’t think you will be able to satisfy me, and I understand. Really, I do. I can be quite intimidating.”

“I’m not intimidated, Vivian. I just don’t like you very much.” I started to move away again, but her words stopped me.

“Then we can have a very…
functional
relationship, Luke. You see, I don’t much like you either. Therefore, there will be no chance of either of us developing any type of emotional attachment. It will just be good sex, and I can only speak for myself, but I really mean it will be
good sex
.”

Vivian always had a predatory gleam in her eyes, but now she was a different kind of predator. It was rather hot and I couldn’t deny it with my cock beginning to stir in my pants.

But I couldn’t be with her because I hated her, and for the same reasons that I couldn’t be with Claire. My free time should be spent with Lucas and focusing on keeping my newly found friendship with Emmy in good standing. I didn’t have extra time for screwing around.

“I missed the first five months of my son’s life,” I said to Vivian. “I missed the entire pregnancy, too. As you well know, I have a very full schedule, especially since I now have my own, still new firm. Any extra time I have goes to my son. I don’t have time, Vivian. Not even for ‘good sex.’”

She wasn’t at all put off by my little speech. Just like she is in court, she was relentless at getting what she wanted – that being me.

“Luke, I am now a single mother of three and I just star
ted back to work last week. I, too am limited on time, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to just lie down and die. I completely understand your time restraints, which is another reason why we can work out so well for each other. We can take what we can get when we can get it without whining or argument. If I don’t have time, you shrug your shoulders and wait until I do and vice versa.”

She put her drink down on the bar and wrapped her fi
ngers around my tie. She began to adjust it as she spoke. “Think about it, Luke. No bouts of jealousy, no cute little text messages through the day and absolutely no commitment. We will simply be mutually exclusive fuck buddies, but when one of us is ready to break it off, the other won’t try to hang on. It will simply be over.”

I looked down into her eyes. I really didn’t like Vivian Deluca. I respected her as an attorney, kind of, but I didn’t ne
cessarily
like
her. And I didn’t have time for this, regardless of what she said, and sleeping with her could interfere with both of our jobs if we came head to head in court.