Wrangler (25 page)

But she won’t.

“
Leander
is what is going on,” she sneers, her voice full of venomous sarcasm.

The sound of my brother’s name turns my stomach and raises a thousand instant questions in my mind.  My head is pounding. Why and how is she even aware of him?

“What about him?” I keep her eyes with mine, a terror building inside me.

“Son.”  Crutch’s voice booms from behind me.  “I think you should go.”

I’m done playing. “I’m sorry, but I’m not leaving without her.” I grunt louder than I intended but I’m at the end of my rope.

I round up on him and have to pull myself back to stop from breaking his nose. “She’s mine and I take care of what’s mine.”  He doesn’t deserve this, and somewhere deep inside I understand that, but he needs to know who she belongs to.  “Rachel.”  My voice turns hard because otherwise I’d be sobbing like a kid who just got his first nosebleed.  “I fucking love you.  For now and forever. But if you don’t fucking tell me what the hell is going on here I’m going to throw you over my shoulder and carry your ass out of here. Because we will sort this out, either here or back home.”  My face is hot and the muscles in my back are twitching.

“Home?  That’s—” She spits the words at me and winds up for more noise which is getting us exactly nowhere and I’ve had enough.

“Alright then.”  I get it. She’s pissed about something.

But this isn’t productive so she’s going to see just what I’m prepared to do to get her back in the right mind set so we can move forward. 

I hate wasting time, I’ve wasted enough in my life and I’m not going to waste another second now that I’ve found what I’ve been waiting for.

“Wait!  What—”

I swoop one arm around her waist. I’m already kneeling so I tug her forward, settle one shoulder into her soft belly and lift, all before she can get her bearings.

She’s momentarily silenced by being thrown over my shoulder, and I adjust my arms around her dangling legs, then I turn around to give Crutch a glare in case he has some wild idea that he’s going to stop me from taking what’s rightfully mine out of here.

“Sir.  I didn’t do anything to hurt her.  I love her.  Whatever is going on here, I intend to fix it.  I promise you, you and I are on the same team.”  I nod, holding his eyes trying to let him know I want what he wants which is to take care of her.

He squints at me for a long moment, taking me in, gauging my intentions.  Finally, he shakes his head with a smile breaking across his road-worn face.

“I told you, I take care of what’s mine. I don’t know what she’s bucking about, but I love her and I’ve done nothing to hurt her.  So whatever this is, we’ll work it out, because she’s not getting away.  I’ll tie her up if I need to, but we’ll figure this out. So, I thank you for taking care of her, but we’re leaving.”

“We’re not leaving!” Rachel blasts from behind me as her fists start in on my lower back.

Crutch’s smile turns to a knowing laugh and I see the respect in his eyes. “Good luck.  If I ever find out you hurt her, I’m coming for you.” The smile disappears, and I know that I like this man.

“Put me down!  You can’t just control me like one of your horses.”  Rachel’s wiggling and I hitch her up a little higher on my shoulder as I make my way toward the open office door and into the bar.

“No, babe, if you were one of my horses I’d have roped you off already and we wouldn’t be in this mess.”

She’s cussing and kicking me the whole way through the crowd.  She’s as mad as a snared possum, but she’s just pounding my ass and arguing the toss, and apparently the patrons of the bar get the difference between a kidnapping and a man taking care of his woman. A bar like this, if she screamed for help, even I’d meet my match, but instead as we reach the front door, a round of hoots and hollers and applause explodes in our wake.

She softens a bit over my shoulder as we step out into the parking lot. 

“Are you going to behave and start telling me in full sentences what the fuck is going on?”  I can’t help myself, but I punctuate the question with a firm slap on her upturned ass.

She yelps and I think for a split second that I must be a twisted asshole because my cock is as hard as a fence post.

“Blood is rushing to my head and I can’t breathe.”  She sounds pained.

Finally, some rational words.

I speed my steps, my boots crunching on the dirt and gravel of the parking lot.  The breeze has kicked up, the clouds rushing over the sky giving momentary glimpses of the moon.

Pausing next to the truck, I turn my head. “I’m going to put you down, and you are going to get in this truck and start talking, understand?”  I’m talking over my shoulder, making sure she hears.

“Just put me down.”  The lioness is sounding more like a lamb.

“Nope.  Promise me you aren’t going to try to run.  If you do, I’m getting out the rope and you’re going in the truck anyway, you’ll just be tied up.”

She huffs from behind me, then presses her hands onto my back to stabilize herself.

“Fine.” Her voice loses the edge. “I won’t run.  Just please, put me down.”

I crouch down, then pop her up off my shoulder and catch her around the waist on the way down, keeping her close enough to feel every inch of her softness drag down my body.

I don’t waste time. I’ve got her eyes on mine as I reach out and open the passenger door of the pickup, one arm still around her waist guiding her forward.  Leroy is panting and hops through the back window and into the truck bed, wagging his tail.

But she’s not moving.

“Get in, Rachel.  I swear to God, you are getting in this truck.  I get it, you’re stubborn and you’re mad as a hornet about something, but trust me, I’m ten times more patient than you are stubborn.  I don’t retreat, Dove, now get in.”

She glares at me and wrinkles her nose. 

She turns and grabs onto the side of the open door to climb in, then turns to face me.

“Leander is your brother.”  It’s a statement, not a question, so I try to control the dread that the sound of his name sets inside me.  “I’m
Rachel.
”

Another statement, but I’m still fighting the connection.  Praying it’s something else and knowing it’s not.

“Yes, Leander is my brother.  Well, half-brother.”

Her eyes widen as she blinks at me like I’m an idiot, and I can’t say I always disagree with that assessment.

“Rachel
Sweeting.
I changed my name to Gordon, Jessie’s last name a few years ago.  My real name is Sweeting.”  She stares at me and my head is throbbing along with my cock.  The angrier she gets, the more I want to fuck her as if that is the solution to whatever is going on here. 

“Okay, so yeah, I know who you are, I know who my brother is.”  Bile bubbles up the back of my throat even as I try for a split second to pretend I’m not putting the pieces together.

Please God, don’t let this go where I think it’s going.  Please.

She shakes her head and her eyes turn from angry to sad. In a flash, I know. She turns and sits in the truck, staring straight ahead.  “I’m the one that put your brother in jail.  I’m the girl he did those things to.  I’m the one.”

RACHEL

I
feel like I’ve touched a live wire.  My skin is rippling with current, zapping me like I’m holding onto an electric fence and I can’t let go.

“Just tell me, did you know who I was when you came to work for us?”

The look in his eyes tells me the answer. He looks like a ghost, white face and wide eyes, and for a moment I’m afraid he’s not breathing.

But he shakes his head without a word and I see him swallow hard before he turns away, steps back toward the bed of the truck, and grabs on to the top edge, locking his elbows, his head falling between his arms.

I hold my breath trying to keep my stomach from coming up.

Chad’s fingers tighten on the truck bed and he starts to rock his body back and forth, the tendons in his forearms standing out like cattle rope.

He doesn’t look at me when he speaks. “I love you,” he whispers toward the ground.

After Lacy dropped her little bombshell at the feed store, I doubted every moment with Chad.  Was this some sort of sick payback? 

I should have known a man like him wouldn’t be interested in me for real.  Should have known there had to be some other reason. Deep down I just figured he wanted an easy fuck, right? 

And now I know why his eyes seemed familiar.  The eyes of someone who used to make me kiss him.  Someone who used to come into my bedroom at night and make me touch myself for him as he masturbated.

Someone who told me I wanted him, that what was happening between us was real.  That I wanted it to happen. That I made it happen.

I’m sure they thought I ruined their family.  I did ruin their family, and now it seemed that they were getting back at me. 

But now, listening to Chad say those words, my heart is telling me otherwise.  And I think the world stops turning as I wait for him to say something else, the cowboy that made me feel things I didn’t even know existed.

I wait because I don’t know what else to do. My legs are shaking and my fingertips are cold.  My vision focuses on a single spot in the night sky, wishing I was somewhere else and at the same time, praying for something I know can never be.

“Rachel.”  His voice catches and breaks.

That single word stuns me out of my stupor.  When I look up, Chad is leaning in the open door, his face inches from my ear.

“I never knew the name of that girl my brother hurt.  No one ever told me.  You were a minor, so your name was never released and my family tried to keep me out of it. Hell, I tried to keep myself out of it.  I didn’t want to know.”  His voice shakes.  “I’m so sorry.”

His forehead comes down to rest on my shoulder, one hand releases from the door and it comes to wrap around the side of my head, steady and gentle. As Chad’s shoulders shake I have to pull my lips between my teeth to hold back the sobs that are filling my throat.

Now, when I look at him, I see Leander’s brother, not Chad.  When I listen to him, will I always be reminded of the voice of the man that whispered for me to keep it a secret.  Whispered what a special girl I was and that I could never tell anyone.

Somethings are just not meant to be.

That’s what we both know and that’s why we are grieving. Some obstacles you can’t overcome.  In this moment, I know Chad didn’t know who I was before now. I know what had happened with him was real. But that is why he has to do the right thing and let me go.

I’m not sure how long we stay like that, but eventually the ragged sounds of Chad’s uneven breaths slow and he releases my head so that he can cup my cheek, his thumb whisking back and forth over the tears there. His fingers are rough and I remember how they felt on my body.

Chills shake my shoulders and he finally lifts his head.

I brace myself for what’s coming.  He’s searching for the words and I’m unable to stifle the whimpers coming out of me.

“I’m never leaving you.”  His harsh words shock me as he drops back and closes the truck door.

He vaults over the hood like a bullet, opens the driver’s door and slides into the seat, and before I can form my next thought, the keys are in the ignition and the engine is roaring to life.

CHAD

“I
’ve never begged for anything in my life, Rachel, but I’m begging you right now, take my hand and come inside.  When I said you were mine, I meant it.  I can’t live without you.  Now more than before.”

She’s looking at me and I may be deceiving myself, but I think I see hope in her eyes. Just a flicker between the shock, doubt and fear.  But it’s there and as long as there is hope, I’ve still got a chance.

We drove back to the farm in silence.  She let my hand rest on her knee because I needed the contact and I needed the time to process what was happening and all the ways I could make it right with her.

I didn’t think about what I wanted. I thought about all the ways I could comfort her, all the ways I could make her feel safe again.  All the ways I could make her forget.