Wrapped Around My Finger (23 page)

“Yeah, there’s a couple things he said that we might have to smooth over, but all in all, not bad for someone who’s not a professional television personality. He’s smooth. Too smooth.” Kari scoffed, picking up her wine glass. “Still amazing the way he opens up for you. Like a flower finding the sun.”

“You keep saying that and it isn’t getting any less weird.” I poured wine into my empty glass. I’d refused to touch any of it until I watched the interview. “I didn’t notice anything different about him tonight. He’s just Jagger.”

I couldn’t wait until I could call him mine again.

Kari finished her wine in one gulp.
Oh, shit
. “I was never going to tell you this—“

“Tell me.” I knew I’d be hit with a sledgehammer tonight. I had no idea it would come from my best friend.

She repositioned herself so she faced me and smiled. “Let me finish before you freak out. I went out with Jagger once before. He doesn’t seem to remember that night, or me, and I’m more than happy to keep it that way. He was one of the first escorts I ever hired. To say we didn’t hit it off...is an understatement.”

I wanted to say something, I really did. But I was frozen in shock. “When?” I finally managed.

“I was still working as a legal assistant. I got sent down to Miami to gather some evidence, and I needed someone to accompany me to a party that I basically crashed.” Kari grabbed the wine bottle, refilling her glass to the brim. “He was an asshole all night. Almost blew my cover. I got through it, and wished him good riddance.”

“That doesn’t seem like Jagger.”

“Obviously, I called Barry in the morning. Told him I wanted him fired. Barry laughed at me. We actually became friends because of Jagger. He told me Jagger ran hot and cold, he wasn’t cut out for being an escort in the companionship sense, but the clients who hired him for straight-up sex loved him. Barry suggested I give him another try, for that purpose, but I declined. That was before I discovered the joys of hate fucking.” Kari laughed. “That’s why I never wanted you to go out with him in the first place.”

I grabbed her glass and drank from it. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You had your heart set on him the minute you saw him. I tried to warn you, but you were having none of it. That’s why I kept telling you to proceed with caution, but you jumped in, head first.” Kari laughed. “I’m glad you didn’t listen to me.”

“Really?” I cocked an eyebrow. “You lost your job over it.”

Kari leaned back on the cushion, taking the blanket in my lap with her. “I’ll get another job. Private firms pay a lot for people with government experience. The funny thing is, as the lawsuit came out and all the crap went down, it felt like the worst thing that ever happened. I thought to myself, that bitch won. She finally fucking got us. But the joke will be on her. On all of them. They can waste their whole lives trying to ruin ours, and every time we’re going to thrive. Things will be good again soon, Leah. For all of us.”

I leaned in and hugged her. She was right, as long as I could convince Jagger of that.

J
agger

“You did great.” Robyn, the interviewer, followed me back into the makeup room. “It’s not easy, going live like that. I didn’t know if you’d be able to pull it off.”

The makeup artist had given me a warm towel to wipe away my makeup. I pulled it away from my face and looked at Robyn’s reflection. She fixed her lipstick and smiled at herself, sliding her gaze over to mine.

“I wanted to get it over with,” I said. And get the hell out of there.

“You’d never know. You’re a natural.” Robyn leaned on the counter, so close to me. “It’s a shame Leah couldn’t make it. I would’ve liked to see her.”

“You and me both.” I sighed, tossing the towel into the bin. I shrugged into my jacket and nodded to Robyn. “Have a good night. Thanks for throwing me some softballs out there.”

“Hey.” She grabbed my arm. “Are you staying in New York tonight? Want to get a drink, maybe a bite to eat?”

“It’s been a long day. I’m gonna head back to the hotel. Thanks anyway.” I gave her the most sincere smile I could manage and slid free of her grasp.

“Do you want company?” she called after me.

I didn’t turn all the way around; instead I met her halfway in the mirror. She bit her lip, and I knew that look. I wasn’t familiar with Robyn, but women had given it to me all my life. She thought she had me.

“No, thank you.”

Her heels clicked behind me and she managed to beat me to the door. “I’ll pay.” Her face fell as she realized that was the wrong thing to say. “If it makes it better for you.”

I probably deserved that. “Good night, Robyn.”

Her demeanor flipped one hundred and eighty degrees like I’d thrown acid in her face. “Are you serious? You’re saying no? I went easy on you because—“

“Because you had nothing. Sorry you didn’t get your big story. I’m not going to pity fuck you because of it, either. No matter how much money you offer me.”

She gasped. “There’s more to this, Jagger. I have sources. There’s no need for me to hold back.”

Bullshit. “You’re blackmailing me?” Too bad I didn’t record this conversation. It would stop whatever she had planned dead in its tracks.

“I think I made you a reasonable offer.” She batted her eyelashes and tried to make herself look like something less than the she-devil she just exposed herself to be.

“Good night, Robyn.”

I needed to get the hell out of there. I scanned the set, looking for a familiar face, and caught Shannon’s eye. She approached as soon as she saw me.

“Hey, Diane wants to talk to you before you leave.” She looked at the notes on her tablet. “Nothing big, she’s already had me call a car for you.”

“Good. I think my work here is done.”

“Tell me about it, I’ve been here since eight this morning.” Shannon shook her head. “Will you please tell Leah I’m thinking of her?”

I nodded. I didn’t have the heart to tell her if I saw Leah I’d tell her the same exact thing. Diane intercepted me before I had a chance to speak.

She motioned for me to have a seat once we got in her office. So much for being quick. “Great job tonight, Jagger.”

“Thanks.” I wasn’t sure why she’d called me in, but it wasn’t purely for a compliment. “And I appreciate that Robyn stuck to the list of questions we’d agreed on.”

“It wasn’t my objective to throw you under the bus. Now Leah, pulling a no-show on us...” Diane shook her head, trying to erase the image of Leah. “A lot of people would’ve cracked under the pressure. But you really are a natural in front of the camera.”

“I wanted to make sure I did everyone justice.” I considered telling her that Robyn just offered to pay me for sex as I put my hands on the arms of the chair. “Is that all?”

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about your future with the network. Despite the scandal, they love you. People respond to you immediately. You’re trending again now, you even have your own hashtag. It wouldn’t have to be anything big. Even a
Great Start
segment. We can work together to develop the content so it suits your interests and the needs of the audience. That was one of the reasons we wanted to do this show tonight, to get a better look at you on screen.”

Fuck. The night kept getting worse. “You want me to take Leah’s job.”

There was no fucking way I’d do that. Before I factored out the bullshit with Robyn, taking Leah’s job would be rubbing her nose in everything that happened in the last couple of weeks. Leah was the only reason I was there. Without her, I wanted nothing to do with
Great Start Today
, the network, or any hashtag bullshit.

“Keep it in the family, right?” Diane’s laughter died out quickly. “Listen, I know you said yes to Leah, and not necessarily to the job. I’m not sure what your circumstances are with her. It’s not my business. We would’ve had Leah back in the rotation eventually, but tonight made things more difficult. Regardless, this could be a huge opportunity for you. Whatever your goals are, this will put them in reach. If this is something you want to do, don’t let Leah hold you back. No matter what, she wants the best for everyone. Especially you.”

**

I
ordered room service when I got back to the hotel. The only person I’d wanted to see that night was Leah, and that sure as hell wasn’t happening. I kept hoping her cryptic text message was followed by a place to find her, but instead, radio silence. She was the only reason I came. It didn’t matter that I was contractually obligated to do it. If I didn’t think I’d have a chance to see her, I would’ve never stepped on the plane. I never considered she’d back out to avoid seeing me.

Ms. Godfrey didn’t make her flight
. Bullshit. Leah would never miss a work obligation. Even when I begged her to stop working, getting down on my knees beside her desk chair and distracting her until she finally fucking relaxed, she got things done. If it hadn’t been for that text, I would’ve been calling hospitals looking for her.

I’m sorry.
I was, too, Leah. For walking away from everything that was good at the first sign of panic and having the audacity to think I could fix it when I was ready. On my terms. That we could pick up where we left off like we paused a TV show. For someone who had as much experience with women as I did, I was foolish and naïve when it came to relationships. I could have a woman, but I had no idea how to keep her.

The call went straight to voicemail. I should’ve left a message, but I should’ve done a lot of things before now and maybe things wouldn’t be so fucked up. As usual, I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to stop the bleeding and make things better. Whatever words came out of my mouth wouldn’t be enough to get her back.

The end of message tone startled me. I’d left her a good minute of dead air. I didn’t bother erasing it. I hoped she’d know what I was trying to say.

It wasn’t just Leah. Everything surrounding me was a subtraction instead of an addition, and I’d had enough. I’d already gotten myself down to one. There wasn’t anywhere else to go.

I took two things out of my bag. My camera. The only way anything would make sense was if I looked at it through the lens. I didn’t need words when the images said everything I couldn’t. The other was a blank envelope. It was heavy card stock, the kind only ordered for life-changing occasions. Inside was a card with a picture of Leah’s arm, the soft, pale flesh on the underside that no one was supposed to see, with the promise she’d made to her sister.
Live for me.
She’d held it over her head when she posed against the graffitied wall of the amphitheater. I’d cropped the rest of her out. No one would be able to resist just a taste of her. They wouldn’t be able to stay away.

The invitation to the opening of my gallery was printed on the back. I’d intended to give it to her after the interview. In a way, I still was. She’d robbed me of the chance of seeing the look on her face when she opened it. Maybe that was for the best.

Please come
. That was all I wrote.

No return address. I didn’t want it back. I addressed the envelope and slid it into the hotel’s mail slot before letting New York City swallow me for the night.

L
eah

“More than a dozen flights leave DC for New York every afternoon. You’re telling me you missed all of them?” Diane wasn’t my producer anymore. She’d barely been able to manage niceties before. Now she didn’t bother. She sighed. “I need to explain this to the network. Make me understand how this happened.”

I knew it was too good to be true when I hadn’t heard from her on Friday night, or through the weekend. It gave me a chance to rehearse an answer. “I decided it wasn’t in my best interest to go.”

Diane laughed for way too long. “This isn’t the junior prom, Leah. It’s a top-ranking, major network show with millions of dollars in advertising sponsors who were all depending on you to fulfill your end of the bargain. To do what you were contractually obligated to do. Luckily, Jagger was adult enough not to let a personal disagreement get in the way.”

“And he did great.”

“You watched it?” I didn’t have to see her to know exactly the look she had on her face—a weird half-frown. And she probably rolled her eyes. It was her default reaction to many of my suggestions.

“Of course I did.” I pressed my lips together to refrain from blurting out my personal business to someone who obviously didn’t give a crap about anything but her reputation and her paycheck. “I’ve spent my entire life doing things that made other people happy. And a good portion of them made me miserable. Yes, I should’ve have handled it better. That I apologize for. But I can’t put money before my personal well-being anymore. It doesn’t buy happiness.”

Unless I was buying Jagger Holiday.

“It sounds like you’ve made your decision.” Diane softened, realizing bullying me would no longer work. She couldn’t strong arm me with the threat of a contract anymore. It was scary as hell, but if I didn’t break away now, I never would. I’d accomplished many of my dreams, but the only thing that chased away the emptiness was Jagger. I was almost forty. I didn’t have room for many more fuck ups.

“I want to take private clients again. I appreciate everything the network’s done for my career, but I realized it’s taken me away from what brought me to interior design in the first place. The pure love of creating a home for someone.”

I’d lived in the shadow of everyone’s opinions my entire life—my parents, Rich, the network, and now the media. It almost cost me everything I loved. My work suffered, I’d alienated my daughter, and drove away the only person who didn’t think I was broken. I needed to walk away from all of it if I had a chance to save any of it.

“You’re such a romantic. I’ve always appreciated that about you.” Diane sighed. Could’ve fooled me. “I wish you the best, Leah. You’ve got some big brass ones. Not many people can afford to walk away from a job like this.”

“I can’t afford not to.” And with that, I felt free. The weight of worrying what would happen next and what would be the next bomb to drop lifted, floating away like a lost balloon. No more lawsuit, no more network. I’d forever have to deal with Rich and Shelley, but didn’t matter anymore. They couldn’t break me.