Wreck Me (15 page)

“I don’t get it? Why me? You’re way out of my league.” He sets me down on his bed and climbs over the top to lie down beside me. He wraps his arms around my bare body and tugs me into his chest. It is quickly becoming my favorite place to be. I feel so safe here. I feel…right, being here. Right here in his arms. It’s so damn confounding. I peek over my shoulder at Damon and his warm eyes are on me.

“I can’t explain it. I saw you and everything came together for the first time in my life. It felt like breathing. You are the one who is out of my league. I don’t deserve you. Trust me.” Why would he say that? Even hearing it makes me ache for him. I turn in his arms to face him.

“You…you are amazing in every way! How in the hell could you possibly not deserve me? I just hope by some miracle I can really be what you think I am.”

“I know I’m right about you. I can feel it. My gut is never wrong.”

“You are kind of cocky and a whole lot bossy, big man,” I muse tauntingly. He cocks up a brow and smiles a panty dissolving pearly white crooked smile. Damn I am in so much trouble with him. I never knew I could feel this happy around someone. I could easily fall for him. Hell maybe I already am.

His fingers crawl up my ribs then tickle me beneath my arms.

“Stoooooooooop!” I squeal like a wounded animal and flail about.

“Aw, my Josephine can’t stand to be tickled,” he teases as he keeps at it. I squirm and bat at him.

“Pleaaaaase!” I cry out. His hands leave my sides. I am rolled to my back as his big frame lifts and he swings a leg over me. He straddles me. My arms are pulled above my head and he holds me immobile with ease. My smile fades as I look up into those pools of warm honey. I like being here. I enjoy being with him. I don’t know how I could ever not have him. What if this doesn’t go anywhere? What if it doesn’t last?

“What’s wrong” A deep crease mars his forehead making his concern clear. I sigh and clear my throat to confess my worries. I feel like I can talk to him about it. I should talk to him about it.

“I’m scared.” I admit my fear honestly and watch as he purses his lips together.

“I’m scared that if I get attached to you I will be destroyed if something ever happened to us or to you. I won’t put myself in a position to lose again. I would never survive it.” My eyes are askew and it makes admitting my private concerns easier.

“Look at me,” he demands. I direct my gaze to him without hesitation. He releases his grip on my arms and brings them down. He presses my palms against his naked chest. His skin is warm and tanned. His muscles bulge and ripple when he moves or speaks. Watching him is intoxicating. I couldn’t dream up a more beautiful man. He holds my hands in place against his chest as our eyes stay locked on each other.

“Nothing is going to happen. I won’t let anything or anyone ruin this. You have no need to worry. I won’t let you lose anymore. Do you believe me?” I do believe him. I know it’s completely stupid, but fuck if there isn’t a little tug in my chest telling me that I believe him. I nod, yes.

“Say it, Josephine,” he says firmly.

“I believe you.” He takes a deep breath and resumes his position beside me.

“That’s good.”

“Can we eat now? I really want my burger before I have to get back to my place.” His grip tightens on me.

“We can eat, but you are staying with me.” The way he just said that has the clearest damn tone of finality I have ever heard. I can’t just stay at his place all the time. I have to check my mail and pay my bills and wash laundry and other shit that normal adults do at their home.

“I don’t have a choice. I have to…feed my fish.” What? What the hell? Why am I lying about owning a fish? What’s so hard about telling him hell no I have to go home because I have shit to do? I groan internally at my lie and lack of ability to sever myself from him. Fuck my life.

“Oh. You have fish?” He even sounds skeptical. I don’t own a damn fish or dog or cat or anything else that requires love and attention.

“Yep. One of those cheap goldfish in the glass bowl.” He rolls me to face him and I wince a little on the inside I know he can tell I’m full of shit.

“What’s his name?” My eyes dart around as I scramble for a name. Shit. Shit. Shit.

“Oh. Um. I just call him Fish.” I shrug and pretend to pick at my nails. This is a mess. I am no liar and apparently I should stay that way because I flat out suck at lying to Damon. I glance over at him and I can see a smirk play across his mouth.

“Okay fine. I’ll go with you.” He releases me and rocks up out of the bed. I watch his phenomenal naked ass as he makes his way toward the closet. Shit. He can’t come with me. He will want to know where the damn fish is. He won’t accept no for an answer. I’ll make it work. I can do this. I slide off his bed and join him in the closet. He glances over to me as I walk in and start digging through my newly acquired collection of panties. I grab a lacey blue thong and slip them on. Damn these feel nice. Damon walks over to me and stands right up against my ass as I work on choosing a bra. His hands reach around and cup both my breasts. He rolls each of my puckered nipples between his forefinger and thumb. I close my eyes and let my head rest back on his chest. His lips brush against my ear.

“You’re a shitty liar, baby.” I gasp as he punctuates his statement with a rough pinch of both my nipples. His chest shakes with laughter. Jerk. I scoff at him and his hands fall from my breasts. He is full out laughing now.

“Hey! Shut the hell up!” I put on a bra and turn to face him. His hand clutches his defined abs as he laughs uproariously. I perch my hands on my hips and scowl.

“Are you done yet?” I snap. He keeps laughing his awesome ass off.

“A fish? I mean really? Baby, you have to know you are a shit liar. Oh damn that was funny.” He calms and catches his breath. He steps towards me with extended arms. I am not hugging him. Asshole. I bat him away and continue getting dressed.

“Oh c’mon don’t pout. It’s fine. I get it. You need to go over to your place, but I want you to stay with me as much as possible.”

“Fine,” I huff.

“Besides, you need to stay with me tonight. I have a surprise for you bright and early in the morning.” I spin around to face him. He is gorgeous in just boxer briefs.

“Tomorrow is Sunday what could we be doing in the morning?”

“Did you miss the surprise part, baby?” I roll my eyes. He is chipper as hell since I agreed to date him and I guess being chipper also means he is a smart ass.

“Fine, whatever. Let’s go. I have bills to pay and have mail to check and I am sure my trash can smells just splendid.” I pull on a cotton cap sleeve top and a pair of jeans. I spin in the full length mirror. Damn my ass looks nice in these. I will have to agree with Brian. Gay men apparently do have a serious sense of fashion. Damon smacks my ass. No doubt he is thinking the same thing I am.

“Need to give Brian a raise,” he mumbles to himself. I snicker inwardly. He likes my ass. Total ass man.

“C’mon baby. Quicker I get you there the quicker I get you back here. Let’s go.” I smile and take his hand. I don’t particularly enjoy the idea of going back to my shit hole, but I have to. I won’t be there long. I know he wants me here tonight and honestly I do too. I am in deep already. Who wouldn’t be though? He is Mister fan-fuckin’-tastic. Any woman would be crazy about him. I am no different.

I slide the key into the lock and open the door. I walk in to be greeted by the disgusting smell of the leftover tuna salad I tossed out two days ago.

“AH! Fuck! Tuna!” I run for the trashcan and cinch up the draw string in a hurry. I yank out the half full trash bag and hurl it out my front door onto the stoop. I’ll carry the sour shit to the dumpster on our way out.

“Oh shit, open some windows, will ya?” Damon strides through my small shit hole opening windows as he goes.

“Geez, that’s disgusting. Is there a dead Fish in the can or what?” I see him choke back a laugh at my expense and I glare at him.

“Har-har very funny,” I say flatly. I move through my place making quick work of tidying up. I catch Damon watching me at every turn. I grab my mail and toss out most of it since all I usually get is junk. I slit open my utility bill and nearly fall over when Damon whirls me around and snatches the pile of bills from my hand.

“Hey! That’s private!” I grab at the stack of letters, but he holds them out of reach.

“What are you doing? Give them back!” Damnit! This is embarrassing as hell. He better not open them all. He will see how far behind I am on my phone and electric bill. I’ll die of mortification. He flips open the folded utility statement. Kill me now. I can feel my pride wither and fucking die at my feet. I turn and walk to my crappy futon couch. I flop down and my shoulders slump in defeat. I can hear him shuffling through my mail and I just want to crawl into a hole and die. I am behind on just about everything, but my last two paychecks went into the garbage. I ripped them up and tossed them in the can. I knew Sutton didn’t have the money to pay me and the store is really my passion too so I figured if Captain isn’t getting a dime I shouldn’t either. It was a sacrifice I made in hopes of buying more time to maybe save the store. I fell behind on everything in the process. It’s all so screwed up. He rounds my futon and sits beside me. I cross my arms on my knees and lean forward to hide my face in my lap. His big hand goes to my back and rubs small circles between my shoulders.

“What else are you behind on?” I groan into my lap, but know that he won’t let it lie.

“A couple things,” I say into my lap and it comes out sounding all muffled.

“The store?” He knows me well already apparently. I have never been this transparent to anyone else. This openness and emotional shit is so far outside of my comfort zone.

“Yes,” I admit reluctantly.

“Sutton hasn’t taken a dime recently because the store can’t really afford it. I knew he didn’t have the money so I haven’t cashed my last two paychecks.”

“You aren’t going to worry about any of this anymore, understand?” I bolt up from my beaten down position.

“What? You aren’t paying my delinquent bills Damon! I do have some sense of pride.” His serious eyes and tightened jaw tells me I am about to battle this too. Dammit! I can’t win anything with him.

“So do I, and my woman worrying about money when I have an ass-ton of it isn’t something I can be proud of. I’m taking care of your finances. End of discussion.” And there it is. Battle lost. Great.

“Okay.” I can’t even look him in the eye. This is a new low for me. No one has ever paid my bills. Failure feels like complete shit.

“Hey. Don’t you dare feel shame. What you did by forfeiting your money is admirable. Most people are too selfish to do such a thing. You are looking out for Sutton and the store. You are an amazing woman whether you realize it or not.” Oh please not again. Tears. Again. What is my problem? My lip quivers and I can feel tears coming.

“I just never wanted to see the store close. I tried really hard. I did.” I wipe away the tears as they spill onto my face. I try to look away from Damon, but he won’t allow it. His hand grips my chin and forces me to look at him tears and all. Great. I have less pride and dignity by the minute.

“We are going to get things on track starting tomorrow. Don’t worry about it anymore.” I wipe my face and take a cleansing breath. I lean over to him and kiss him with all I have. I want him to know how grateful I am for him. I don’t know how I got so lucky and I am damn skeptical of it, but I am happy to have him nonetheless. I may not be able to be proud of my life, but I am damn proud to say that for once I have something to call my own. I have something I feel I can trust. I have Damon. Being his is something I can be proud of, and I am.