Wrecked (Clayton Falls) (10 page)

Dad nodded, and I left the room.

“That was fast.” Mom stood with her arms crossed at the bottom of the stairs.

I shrugged. “I tried.”

“Did you?”

I was about to ask where Noah was, but I heard his squeals coming from the living room. I followed them to find him rolling around on the floor with my parents’ golden retriever.

“He loves that dog.” Mom put an arm around my shoulder.

“It seems that way.”

“You know if you moved back up here, he could see him all the time.”

“We’ve been over this…”

She turned toward me, placing a hand on each of my shoulders. “Sweetheart, you look exhausted. You’ve been working yourself to the bone. Why won’t you come home and let me help?”

“We live in Wilmington now.”

“You only moved there for Tim. Don’t you think it’s time you moved on?”

I shook my head. “No.”

“Is this about your father?”

“No.”

“Emily. You have to think about more than just yourself now.” She said it softly but it hurt like hell.

“You think I don’t know that? Do you think I’ve been working this hard just for myself? Do you think I’ve had almost no life since Noah was born because I’m selfish?” I might have stopped myself from crying with my dad, but I wasn’t able to stop it this time.

“I know. But you can make it easier.”

“I can’t. I’m not crawling back here.”

“Is that it? You’re afraid of looking like you can’t handle it on your own? Because plenty of moms can’t handle it even with a husband.”

“It’s more than that. I think we’re where we should be.”

“I thought you’d say that.”

“Then why’d you bring it up?” I wiped away the tears with the back of my hand.

“I had to try.”

I sat down on the floor next to Noah. I let him play for a minute before pulling him onto my lap. He only let me snuggle him for a second before chasing after the dog again.

“Why don’t you go lie down?” Mom said from behind me. “He’ll be ready for his nap soon too.”

“I know. Maybe I can convince him to nap with me.”

She laughed. “Good luck with that. But his portable crib is set up in your room anyway.”

“I’ve missed him so much.”

“I know.”

Noah stopped and walked back over to me, falling down into my arms.

How could I stay upset when I had the most amazing little man in my life? I stood up holding him against me. “I’m going to see if I can get him to nap.”

Mom smiled. “See you both in a few hours.”

I walked back upstairs and pushed open the door to my childhood bedroom. I held Noah against me for a while longer before putting him down in his pack and play. He seemed surprisingly content to play with some toys.

I curled up under my quilt and watched him until I heard his breathing even out. Once I knew he had fallen asleep, I followed.

“Mama, Mama,” Noah woke me up an hour later.

It took me a second to wake up fully. “Hi, baby.” I stayed in bed for a minute listening to his happy chatter. An hour wasn’t nearly enough sleep. I’d have to make some coffee to survive until Noah’s bedtime.

I picked Noah up out of the crib and carried him back downstairs. He struggled against me so I set him down. He took off and raced into the kitchen.

I heard a couple of voices. I quickly realized the male voice belonged to my brother’s best friend, Austen.

I tensed when I heard Noah scream—until I realized it was actually a happy squeal. I stepped into the kitchen and watched Austen swinging Noah around.

“Hey, Em!” Austen set Noah down and pulled me right into a hug.

“Hi, Austen.”

“You look great.” He turned back to my mom. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. She looks incredible.”

Mom shook her head. “She’s exhausted.”

“It doesn’t show.”

I filled a glass with water from the door of the fridge. “Is there a reason for this flattery?”

“I’m just telling you both the truth.” He went back over to the counter and picked up a cookie.

“How many of those have you had so far?” I tried to sound accusatory, but I ended up smiling.

“It’s only my second.”

I looked to my mom and she held her hand palm up toward him. “He’s telling the truth.”

“I have to keep my figure.” He gestured to his perfectly fit body.

I nudged Austen’s arm before placing my glass by the sink. It always bothered my mother when I left it there, but it seemed silly to put it in the dishwasher when I’d just want more water in an hour.

“What are you up to tonight, Em?” he asked innocently, but I had a feeling that the wrong answer would leave me with an invitation that Mom wouldn’t let me refuse. I just didn’t know what the right answer was.

Mom decided to butt in anyway. “I’m sure she’s free. She didn’t expect to get in this early.”

“I haven’t seen Noah in weeks.”

Mom wasn’t ready to drop it. “He goes to sleep at seven thirty. You might as well go out and have fun.”

“How about it?” Austen smiled. That smile used to make me weak.

“I don’t think I’m up for going out.”

“All right, I get that. How about I come back over tonight after Noah goes to sleep? I’d love to catch up, but I need to get going. I only stopped by when I noticed your car.”

“That sounds lovely. Do you want to join us for dinner?” Mom said in her ‘this isn’t really a question’ voice.

He glanced at me, and must have seen something there. “No. That’s all right. I’ll just come by around eight or so.”

“Great. I’ll walk you out.” Mom glanced at me over her shoulder. She really needed to stay out of things.

Mom returned to the kitchen. “Austen looks great, doesn’t he?”

“As compared to how bad he looked the last time I saw him?”

“All I’m saying is he’s a good looking man.”

“What’s your point, Mom?” I pulled out some coffee beans from the cabinet and poured them in the grinder.

“My point is that he’s good looking and clearly interested.”

“He’s not interested in me. He just wants to catch up.”

“I’d call you innocent, but I think that little boy in the other room makes that impossible.”

“What are you expecting? That Austen will decide he wants to marry a single mom and raise a kid that isn’t his?” I was shocked by the anger in my voice. I was even more shocked when I realized I wasn’t thinking about Austen when I said it.

“You didn’t choose this path, Emily.”

“No, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m a single mom.”

“Austen knows that and doesn’t seem to care. You can’t say that about all men.”

“I know.” I forced myself to push Jake out of my head.

I scooped Noah up again. He pushed a little turtle toy into my face. “Thanks, kiddo. It’s exactly what I wanted.”

Dad didn’t come down for dinner. I wasn’t sure if he’d been doing that since he got sick, or if it was because I was there. I didn’t ask. I helped Noah with his food and then settled down to enjoy mine. Between Jake cooking for me, and then my mom, I felt spoiled.

I played with Noah, read to him, and put him to sleep. I put him in the crib set up in my brother’s room, so I didn’t have to worry about waking him up when I went to bed. I was lucky he was such a good sleeper and rarely woke up at night.

Austen showed up at exactly eight, and my mom conveniently disappeared five minutes later.

“Do you want to sit out on the back porch?” I slipped on some flip flops.

“Yeah, that sounds great.”

“Want something to drink?” I had already pulled a diet Coke out for myself.

“Sure, I’ll have the same as you.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Since when are you drinking diet?”

“First you accuse me of eating all the cookies, and now you don’t think I can drink diet soda? What kind of impression have I made on you all these years?”

I laughed, but it came out as more of a giggle. Austen was the only person who ever made me do that—and he knew it.

He held open the screen door and followed me out. I curled up on one of the worn, floral-pattern couches, pulling my sweatshirt around me. One of the best parts of being in the mountains was that it got cool on summer nights.

“What’s new with you?” He took a seat next to me, instead of on the chair.

“Nothing really.”

“Come on. I need something. How’s work?” Noticing I was cold, he covered my legs with the blanket my mom always left on the back of the couch.

“Busy. I like it, but I’m ready to slow down. It’s been great to make some extra money though.”

“I bet.” He popped open his soda.

“I’ll have the rest of your money back soon. I promise.”

“Em, don’t worry about it.”

“I know you said you didn’t want interest, but I think 4% is fair.”

“Stop it. I don’t need it back.”

“It was a loan, not a gift.”

“Only because you insisted on it.” His eyes pleaded with me to stop fighting him, but I couldn’t. I didn’t believe in taking handouts. “What Tim did to you sucks. I wish I could help more.”

“Please, don’t go there.” I didn’t want to think about the day those men showed up at my door demanding money. I’d had no idea my husband owed thousands in gambling debts.

Austen tapped his fingers on the side of the couch. “What? You think I’m going to lecture you or something?”

“No. I just don’t even want to think about him.”

He leaned back against the cushions. “You did the right thing. I know giving them the money was hard, but at least you could move on with your life. They haven’t been back, have they?”

“No, not a word. I paid them every cent.” I placed a hand on Austen’s arm. “Thank you.”

“I wish I could do more.”

“It’s not your job to. I’m the one who got messed up with Tim in the first place.”

“You like to see the best in people.” Austen turned toward me. I shifted my legs to give him more room, but he trapped them and pulled them onto his lap. “That’s a good trait, but not if you let people hurt you.”

“That’s a nice way of putting it.”

“How else could I?”

“My friend, Mel, says I just like to save people. She claims I like to go for guys who are broken and try to fix them.” It’s true that the few dates I’d been on since Tim had been with guys with their share of problems, but I never tried to save them. I didn’t have the strength.

Austen didn’t say anything for a moment. “You did marry a guy with anger issues…are there more I don’t know about?”

“Is that your way of asking about my recent dating history?” I teased.

“Maybe.” He finished off his soda and set it down on the floor next to him.

“I met a guy, but it’s not going to work out.” I felt a pang in my chest when I thought about Jake. I knew he’d probably have that reaction, but I liked the fantasy that things could work out.

Austen watched me for a minute, probably trying to make sure I wasn’t going to continue on my own. “Why not?”

“He wasn’t too excited when he found out about Noah.”

Austen ran a hand over my legs through the blanket. “He’s an idiot then. Any guy who’d give up the chance to be with you and Noah has to be out of his mind.”

“Or normal. What guy our age wants to date a single mom? It kind of takes the fun out of things.”

“Why? It doesn’t have to.”

“Come on. Would you really want to date someone like me?” I sat up a little.

“No.”

“See.” I tried to pull my legs away.

He gripped them so I couldn’t. “I would love to date you—not someone like you.”

I couldn’t ignore the chills that ran up my spine when he said it. I’d dreamed of those words coming out of his lips for years. Austen’s face wasn’t classically handsome like Jake’s, his features were more rugged, but he was definitely attractive.

“This is when you’re supposed to tell me you’d love to date me too.” He smiled.

“Even if you were being serious, which I don’t actually believe, how could it work? On top of balancing Noah, I’m supposed to do long distance?”

“Let’s deal with the second part of that first. I have a job opportunity in Wilmington. I just need a reason to take it. As to the first part—I’m serious. Completely serious.”

“Austen…”

“Does it really surprise you that much?”

“Yes. Why now?”

“When was it supposed to happen before? Your brother would have killed me if I asked you out in high school. And, well, you didn’t give me any time after you graduated…” He didn’t need to finish that sentence. I was pregnant before the end of senior year.

“Let’s not do this. We both know you don’t want to move to Wilmington, especially since we don’t know if it would work.”

“I already told you I’d do it if I had a reason. Do you really think I’d rather stay in Ridgeview alone? And the only way to find out if it works is to try it.”

“Try it? I’m only here for the weekend.”

“That leaves tomorrow night. I can make a big impression in one night.” He wriggled an eyebrow even though we both knew he wasn’t talking about us having sex.

“I can’t. Not now. It’s not that I don’t like you. I—”

“It’s that guy, right? You’re hung up on him.”

“Maybe.” Dating Austen would feel like a rebound so soon after Jake, and I could never be with Austen in that way. It would have to be all or nothing.

“Okay. Take some time. I’m not rushing this.”

“I don’t expect you to wait around for me.”

“I never said I was going to. But don’t be surprised if I check back in.” He shifted my legs so he could lean in closer to me. “Soon.”

His breath was warm on my face, and I thought he might kiss me, but instead he just kissed my forehead. “Good night, Em.”

“Good night.”

He smiled before walking around front to his car. I leaned back against the couch. I hoped I hadn’t just made a huge mistake.

I waited until I heard his car pull out of the driveway before I went upstairs and took a hot shower. I’d just pulled on a t-shirt to sleep in when I noticed a missed text message on my phone.
I reacted like an idiot. Any way you’d give me another chance?

Seeing Jake’s name on the screen brought back memories from the night we spent together. Memories that hurt to think about.