Read Wrestling With Desire Online
Authors: D.H. Starr
201
Wrestling With Desire
by D.H. Starr
Scott turned to Derek, "That's not quite the response I was going for."
Derek hadn't realized that he had said anything out loud.
Turning to Scott, he debated once again whether he should make some sort of witty remark but as before, he opted for the genuine approach, even if it was going to boost Scott's ego undeservedly. "I was just thinking that what you just did was impressive."
"Wh...do I even want to know what you're talking about right now?"
Derek smiled and leaned close to Scott's ear. "There are many things that you do which cause me to become excited. I just never imagined a simple statement like
I'm getting a
hard-on
would be one of them."
Scott sat back, wide-eyed. "You mean, you...right now...just because I said..." Derek nodded with a sly smile.
"Damn, I am the
man
!" He said it loudly. Derek shook his head and laughed. Several students turned around to look at them. Scott leaned in and whispered in Derek's ear. "You are getting
so
lucky after school. You just made me feel like a superhero."
Although he hadn't wanted to boost Scott's ego, the response was definitely a good one. The reward seemed to warrant ego boosting on a more regular basis.
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The day of the Lexington meet generated a great deal of buzz at Brampton. The wrestling team was one of the only teams that year that had a shot at winning a division championship, so the entire school was behind them. The varsity players all showed up for weigh-ins before school started, starving from not eating breakfast and anxious to feed their food-deprived bodies. In each of their classes, the members of the team were given words of encouragement from their peers and teachers. At lunch, they ate together, psyching each other up as students started up chants which circulated the cafeteria. The normally stringent lunch workers turned a blind, albeit highly irritated, eye to the commotion, understanding that it was a day reserved for school spirit.
Derek was relieved that he had last class with Scott. The day had been nerve-wracking and he continually lost his focus worrying about his opponent for that evening. He wished he knew something about the person he would be wrestling.
Sitting in the back of history class, his nerves began to set in and he fidgeted with his pencil, tapped his foot, and sighed repeatedly, anything to relieve the excited angst that was building up inside of him.
Scott, on the other hand, was a portrait of calmness. He had seemed to float through the day, becoming more and more tranquil and assured as the day progressed. Derek was amazed at his composure and poise. He had never known a member of the team to remain so controlled before a match.
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Towards the end of class, Scott leaned over to whisper in Derek's ear. "I want you to meet me in the parking lot by your car after school." When Derek asked him why he gave him a simple look and repeated, "After school."
As soon as the bell rang, he got up, gathered his belongings from his locker, shoved them into his bag, and followed Scott to the parking lot. When they arrived at his car, Scott said, "Get in. Give me the keys." Unable to come up with an argument, he handed over the keys and got into the passenger side of his car.
Scott said nothing as they drove along the river, finally stopping the car at the side of the road next to the Foot Bridge. "Let's get out here." Scott opened the door and walked to the middle of the bridge. Derek followed and stood next to him. Sliding behind Derek, Scott wrapped his arms around him, lowering his chin to rest on his shoulder.
"Sometimes I come out here by myself to watch the river flow by. I look over the side of the bridge and tune everything else out. I ignore the cars, people, even the bridge, and just focus on the flowing water. It makes me feel like I've stepped out of time and place into my own little world...kind of like when I was home in Iowa and ran along the wheat and corn fields.
During those moments, when it's just me and the water, I am able to focus on myself and what's going on with me."
Derek felt a chill run up his spine and wasn't sure whether it was the cold wind or what Scott was saying. He leaned over the bridge to look at the water. The current was moving rapidly, the surface rippling with angry white froth. Derek considered how much energy went into causing that water to 204
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move so quickly. It was a simple law of nature causing the water to flow. No reason, no explanation, just flowing water.
"Why are you showing this to me, Scott?"
Scott leaned in close, hugging Derek even closer.
"Because, when I spend these moments here alone, watching the water move along its path, I realize that I am the one who has the power to make things happen for myself.
Nothing makes the water move. It just does." He released Derek and stood next to him, looking over the edge with him.
"Today, you've been a nervous wreck. Maybe that's how you need to be, although for the life of me I don't know why. But, you'll win today because you're a good and focused wrestler, not because you built up your nerves and have adrenaline pumping through your veins."
Derek considered his words. "I was amazed at how calm you've been today. I've never seen anything like it from any of the other guys on the team." He continued to watch the water as it pushed past the legs of the bridge. "Explain to me how you can remain so confident."
"It's not confidence. It's accepting that I am the one who is in control of what I do. When I feel like things are beginning to overwhelm me or to take over my actions and thoughts, I come here. Like when my dad is around and lectures on the evils of all that is non-academic, I become someone I'm not. I become quiet, passive, submissive, afraid.
Then I come here." The two of them stood there, leaning over the edge for a few seconds. When Scott continued speaking, his voice had taken on a dream-like quality. "The water isn't influenced by others. It does what it is meant to do, nothing 205
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more, nothing less. And I remember, that is what I'm meant to do. Nothing more and nothing less than what I'm meant to."
Derek understood. He could see the pure logic of it. Why allow things he could not control to influence the way he felt and acted? Why give power to things outside of himself?
"You're amazing, Scott. Thank you for taking me here."
Scott hugged him closer, kissed the back of his neck, and then whispered in his ear, "You are a great wrestler. Just wrestle. Stop thinking about the things you can't do anything about." He led Derek back to the car and they drove back to the school. They had only been gone for twenty minutes, but to Derek, it felt like they had traveled to another world and back.
* * * *
Derek's parents were sitting on the bottom bench of the bleacher nearest their team. His mom had brought a cooler of Gatorade and was handing it out in small paper cups to his teammates. She also had a large bin of sandwiches for them once they finished their matches. Power walked up to Derek's 206
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mom. "Hi, Mrs. Thompson. Glad to see you haven't lost your touch with the provisions."
Claire smiled at Power. "Well, I think I have improved my rationing techniques." She held up a bag containing two sandwiches. "I am saving this for you for after your match."
Power turned to the rest of the team. "This woman is a Goddess." His voice seemed like it had legitimate devotion in it. Derek shook his head at Power's comment, but was proud that his mom was so cool.
When Scott went to get some Gatorade, Claire gave him a hug. Derek's dad clapped him on the shoulder. "Good luck.
We'll be the ones cheering the loudest for you."
Scott gave her a hug. "Thanks Mrs. Thompson." Looking up at the bleachers, he saw his mother sitting towards the middle, surrounded by a number of parents. He waved for her to come down. "Mrs. Thompson—."
"Please, call me Claire."
"Uh, sorry, right." He waited for his mother to arrive at his side. "Claire, Mr. Thompson, uh, I mean Henry. I want you to meet my mom, Shannon." Shannon extended her hand just as Derek walked up.
Shannon was dressed in a smart outfit and looked bright and cheerful. "Shannon Thayer. It is such a pleasure to finally meet you. Scott has told me how you have made him feel right at home at your place. I feel terribly guilty that he has to spend so much time without us around. Your son is a pleasure. A real gentleman. I am so glad that he and Scott have become such good friends." Derek was touched by her generous sentiment.
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Claire reached an arm out, waving for Derek to come closer. Wrapping her arm around his shoulders she gave him a big kiss on the cheek.
"Mom, you're embarrassing me."
"Shush." She playfully tussled his hair. "That is very kind of you to say Shannon. It's a pleasure to meet you as well."
She reached out her arm and waved for Scott to come over, giving him the same hug and kiss she had given Derek. Scott blushed and Derek had to admit that he felt a bit better since he wasn't the only one getting her affections. "He knows he is welcome anytime."
Derek motioned for Scott to join the team. Once out of earshot he said, "Sorry, she gets all motherly at the meets."
Scott smiled. "Derek, it's awesome. You are so lucky to have parents like Claire and Henry. I'm psyched that my mom is going to watch the meet with them. She looked kind of out of place by herself in the bleachers."
At 5:30 the referee called the two team captains to the mat. Each meet began with the team captains shaking hands in the center. The first four matches went pretty much as expected. Neither wrestler pinned his opponent. Allistaire had won three of the matches giving them a nine to three lead over Brampton.
Derek was the fifth match. Walking onto the mat, he surveyed his opponent. He was taller and thinner than Derek, which meant that he probably wouldn't be as strong, but it would be more difficult to gain control of his lanky arms and legs.
Could be worse
.
I'll call him Slim.
They faced each other in the center of the mat and took neutral position. As soon as 208
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the referee blew his whistle, Derek shot for Slim's leg, snatching his foot and standing up. He used his left leg to step in front of the foot Slim still had on the mat and brought him down.
Before Derek could gain control, Slim twisted out of his grip and got back to his feet.
Damn it. I hate long legs and
arms.
They continued to circle each other, Slim grabbing at his arms, fighting for inside control.
Ok, think. How can I use
his body to my advantage?
As he continued attempting to gain inside control of the arm, he realized that his hand was able to wrap entirely around Slim's upper arm.
Got it. Now I
know what to do.
He allowed Slim to gain inside control, carefully watching for any offensive moves that could catch him off guard. Derek used his outside grip of Slim's arm to pull gently and see how he reacted. After two or three gentle tugs, Derek yanked on the arm, pulling him off balance. He used the momentary disorientation to move behind Slim, wrap both arms around him, and step in front of his feet, tripping him down to the mat.
Now that Slim was under control and had no arm leverage, it was fairly easy for Derek to place a half-nelson hold on him and begin the process of rolling him to his back. He found it difficult to maintain the half-nelson because Slim's arms were so long, but eventually he had a secure hold. Derek tightened his grip. When he saw the ref begin to count, he held on with all of his strength. With three waves of his arm, the ref slammed his hand on the mat and the match was over. Derek had won.
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Jumping up, he ripped off his headgear and threw his arms in the air. The cheer he received caused far less reverberation in the auditorium since the spectators were largely Allistaire students and families, but Derek didn't care. His team was jumping up and down and his parents were screaming at the top of their lungs. It was Scott who caught his attention last.
He had his crooked grin on his face and his blue-green eyes seemed to be glowing with pride. He gave Derek a wink and mouthed
I told you so
. If Derek hadn't just spent so much energy wrestling, he was sure his cock would have become rock hard on the spot. Derek's pin had tied the team scores at nine to nine.
There were three more matches before Scott's. Two of his teammates lost to the Allistaire wrestlers and one of his teammates won setting the score at fifteen to twelve in Allistaire's favor.
Scott's match wasn't even close. He took his opponent down right off the whistle. Derek was impressed, never having seen Scott move so quickly. He had control and quickly locked his opponent in a cradle and the match was over in thirty seconds. Brampton was now up eighteen to fifteen.
Josh's match was disastrous. During the first period, he seemed to be in control having taken his opponent down and gaining points for exposing his opponent's back to the mat twice. In the second round, the two kept reversing each other which maintained their point spread. In his third round, Josh made the fatal mistake of reaching back to try to grab his opponents head in a headlock. He found himself locked in a 210