Write That Book Already!: The Tough Love You Need To Get Published Now (5 page)

“Excommunicated monk finds love and spiritual redemption in the arms of a Las Vegas showgirl.”

“In time for the America’s Cup, award-winning novelist tells story of obsessed sea captain who defies Greenpeace to hunt albino whale.”

If you can’t reduce your book to one sentence, you may not have a clear thesis. According to
Bowker,
the global provider of book information, 291,000 new books were published in the United States in 2006. That flood of titles doesn’t leave a lot of time for a publisher’s sales rep to “sell” your book to bookstores, libraries, and other retailers. Give your potential publisher a compelling hook to grab attention and get the gist of your book.

2.
A one- to two-page description of your book

3.
Table of contents (TOC)

4.
Detailed outline (ten pages)

5.
Sample chapter

6.
Competition and related titles—
tell how each of these succeeded (meaning the subject is of interest to the world) but has also fallen short, and how your book will not only differ from but also be better than these other books.

Here it is okay to say things like “My biography of Rush Limbaugh will be scandalous like Kitty Kelley’s
The Family: The Real Story of the Bush Dynasty
, but funny like Al Franken’s
Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right
.”

Or
“My self-help book combines the Christian inspirational impact and programmatic approach of Rick Warren’s blockbuster hit
The Purpose Driven Life
with the prurient satisfaction of Jenna Jameson’s autobiography,
How to Make Love Like a Porn Star.”

7.
Market or audience for your book:

“Readers of Dan Brown or Doris Kearns Goodwin”

“Expectant mothers and fathers”

“Dog-loving vampires”

“Vampire-loving dogs”

“College-educated retirees concerned about rising medical costs”

“Urban Gen-X professionals”

“Frisbee-throwing harmonica enthusiasts”

8.
Promotion and publicity suggestions
What can you do to help publicize your book once published? Do you have a website? blog? list of e-mail addresses of people interested in your topic? Do you have connections to relevant organizations (MADD, Young Democrats, NRA, American Cancer Society, etc.)? Do you speak in public? Where and how often? Any connections in the media?

9.
Length and estimated completion date of manuscript
Approximately how many thousands of words will your book be? 50,000 words is a shorter nonfiction adult book. Short is not necessarily bad, and can in fact be a selling point—it depends on the material. You’re not being paid by the word, and a huge manuscript can be a sign that you don’t know how to self-edit your work. On the other hand, your subject matter may call for length, e.g.,
Everything You Ever Wanted to Know about Elvis, Marilyn Monroe, James Dean, the Beatles, Michael Jackson, and Britney Spears
.

10.
Author bio/credentials
Education, professional and other experience, awards, residence. Make sure your contact information is accurate and visible on every appropriate page.

Most agents and publishers list their proposal requirements on their websites. Make sure you submit according to the specific guidelines given.

When you’re submitting proposals for cookbooks and how-to books, along with your sample chapter you’ll need to include some recipes or other examples of whatever it is you are teaching. Be certain that you have tested your processes and are confident that they really work and won’t hurt anyone, and that people will understand your instructions.

Submissions for children’s books usually require the entire manuscript (which sometimes amounts to very few words). In general you can expect to send a query letter and the full manuscript text for picture books, and a query letter and a few prints or jpegs of children and animals if you are including illustrations. Keep in mind that many publishers will want to do their own matchmaking when it comes to children’s book text and illustrations. You won’t necessarily get to choose your own illustrator, especially on a first book.

If you’re submitting poetry, most editors expect a complete or significantly complete manuscript, a publication history for poems that have appeared in literary magazines, and any background information or personal experience that could help in selling the book (associations, teaching positions, past public readings etc.). Oh, and good poems.

Tough Love from the Author Enablers

With all submissions, it’s important that you see the agent’s or publisher’s website or listing in Literary Market Place for submission guidelines—these folks get a lot of spam and lunatics sending stuff their way. And we wouldn’t advise sending the same query to several different agents at the same agency or editors at a publishing house. As always, remember to enclose a contact phone number as well as your e-mail address. ‹«

A memoir is a story, often told in the first person, of events that have occurred in the writer’s life. Memoir is officially defined as nonfiction, but gets its own special category here because readers of memoirs also tend to be fiction readers. Memoir style can run the gamut from self-help and inspiration to the highest form of literary prose—and includes everything in between. If you’re planning to write a memoir, be sure to keep it real. There have been incidents of writers passing off fiction as memoir, resulting in embarrassment, distrust, and (sometimes) humongous book sales. But don’t count on that working for you. Long-term, it’s better to hold on to your integrity and to be clear and honest about what you are offering to the world.

WAITING FOR THE MAIL: RESPONSE TIME AND DEALING WITH REJECTION

Remember, agents and editors are busy people who receive a large volume of submissions. Allow at least a month or two for them to read and respond to your submission—often it takes longer.

Be professional and courteous in your approach to any agent. Agents do form an impression based on your query letter, and you want it to be a good impression. Take the time to write a focused, well-constructed, and succinct letter, and—have we said this enough times?—follow any guidelines provided. Proofread approximately 400 times, to catch and eliminate errors, before sending.

Unfortunately, publishing is a business that involves a lot of rejection, at every stage. Despite how it might appear, agents and publishers don’t delight in saying “no”—they are as eager to find great ideas and great writing as you are to be published. But agents can only represent a small fraction of the authors out there; it’s a simple reality. Agents and publishers reject manuscripts for many reasons—because of changing trends in the market; because they already have a similar book on their list or know of similar published or forthcoming titles; because something just doesn’t feel like a good fit; or even because the right person read your proposal on the wrong day and didn’t fall in love with it, even if it’s strong, well-written, and publishable.

If an agent or editor says no thanks to your query, consider that no thanks to be from the agency or publisher as a whole—in other words, don’t send your proposal to other editors or agents within the same publishing house or agency. And above all, try to keep “No” in perspective. This is a highly subjective business; all it takes is one “Yes.”

BOTTOM LINE

You need to know what you are writing. Next, you need to read and follow all submission guidelines for the agents and publishers to whom you submit—and approach these folks with courtesy. There are many stories of authors who achieved their dreams after collecting a pile of rejections. If you get a rejection, don’t give up. Our mothers called this “sticktoitiveness.” It’s a silly word for an important quality. Thomas Edison didn’t give up. Eleanor Roosevelt didn’t give up. Harriet Tubman didn’t give up. David Golia didn’t give up. Neither should you.

It’s unlikely that a publisher or agent will come along and say, “You look like a fascinating person with a great story to tell,” although some guys will try and use this as a pickup line in bars. Most of the world’s writers toil away privately, sometimes for years, before anyone tries to pick them up in a bar, or, for that matter, acknowledges their writing talents.

Reasons
not
to become a professional writer:

• You long for financial security.

• You crave the limelight.

• You need structure in your life.

• You want to have one secure, steady source of income.

• You like spending time with your family, friends, pets, hobbies, and other interests.

• You don’t want to offend members of your family or friends and colleagues, who often think you are writing about them whether that is true or not (and let’s be honest, you
are
often writing about them, and some of us may
want
to offend).

• You want to be of service to the world.

• You like hanging around trendy, well-dressed people.

Assuming that you do want to be a writer (because you’re still reading this book), let’s address some issues that may arise in the course of your career.

THE WELL OF LONELINESS VERSUS THE FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE

Writing is a solitary occupation. For some people this may be great news, but most of us need the inspiration and feedback that come from human interaction. Think about it: how do we learn what happened in our favorite television show last night, or who’s going to win the big game this weekend? From our colleagues at work! And what about perfecting our skills in the competitive sport of shooting paper clips with a rubber band? How are you going to flirt with the receptionist if you work alone at home?

If you are a natural-born loner, the writing life will be very comfortable. But if, like most of us, you need the inspiration that comes from hitting someone in the back of the head with a paper clip while winking at the receptionist—not that we’ve ever behaved this way—then carving out focused time alone may be difficult and even uncomfortable.

Writers need solitude, but there is a world of difference between solitude and loneliness. From the outside they look alike, in that they involve being by yourself, but this surface resemblance doesn’t tell the full story. When we are lonely we feel isolated—something is missing. We can even feel lonely when we are with people, like when we were picked last for teams on the playground in grade school (not that we’re bitter).

Solitude, on the other hand, is being alone without being lonely. Solitude is what writers need—the time and space to be alone and still be able to provide themselves with satisfying company. Solitude doesn’t require that you be physically alone—some people write in cafés, surrounded by the ambient noise of strangers. Others write at home with music playing, or with family life going on all around them. With portable computers or old-fashioned pen and paper you can write almost anywhere, and some writers are inspired by having a lively scene around them, such as a park or cityscape. Some writers share studio space. For instance, in San Francisco there is a collective of writers called the Grotto who maintain shared office space that also serves as a forum for professional, creative, and social interaction. (We’ve heard
their
paper clip fights are not only legendary, but also literary.)