Writes of Submission (29 page)

Nikki gasped. “How can he say that? He doesn’t have a feminine bone in his body!”

“But all these women were reading your books, thinking that you were a woman,” David insisted. “You were fooling them.”

Kane laughed. “Well, not anymore. All of my future books—”

“Really. What would you say to a woman who felt cheated because she’d assumed you were a woman?”

Kane took a breath, visibly controlling his irritation. “I would advise that she read the next—”

“Let’s hear from the audience.” David got up and walked toward the front of the stage. “How many of you have read Candee Appelbaum’s books?”

The room erupted in whistles, screams and catcalls. David waited until they’d died down. “And do any of you feel deceived because you thought the books were written by a woman?” He went through the audience then, having women stand up and talk about whether they would have read the books if they’d known the truth.

Chapter 24

The rest of Kane’s portion of the show was just like that. Whenever Kane started to talk about his new work, David would interrupt him to take the conversation in a different direction. Dante grew more and more tense. He was sure every few minutes that Kane would say something about Nikki, but whenever he seemed to try, he would get cut off, or someone from the audience would stand up and ask him a question.

Finally David said, “Well, that’s all the time we have today. Candee—I’m sorry. Should I be calling you something else?”

Kane smirked at him. “Candee is fine for now.”

“Very well. Candee, we understand you’re working on a new book. Can you tell us when it’ll be ready?”

Finally. Dante relaxed, giving Nikki another squeeze. “See? He hasn’t forgotten you.”

“I’d love to tell you about it,” Kane said. “I’ve been working on it at Clifftop Fantasies, a wonderful bed and breakfast that caters to the BDSM community. It should be in to the publishers by the end of the month, but what’s really exciting—”

“Fantastic!” David’s voice drowned him out, being in turn drowned out by dozens of women screaming their excitement.

Kane stopped, smiling uncertainly as he waited for the noise to die down. “Thanks, everybody,” he began, but then another round of applause started up and David did his sign-off while the noise was still going on.

Dante, Allie, Karl, and Brad exchanged worried looks while Nikki sat frozen, staring at the television. “He didn’t say it.”

“What an asshole,” Dante cut her off, trying to sound completely sure of what he was saying. “Did you hear that? Whenever Kane tried to mention Nikki he got completely cut off. I’ll bet he’s giving that David Williams a major ass-chewing right now.”

Allie opened her mouth to answer him, but stopped suddenly, pointing toward the television. It was a commercial advertising the fact that Candee Appelbaum would be on
The Morning Show
.

“When’s that? Tomorrow?” Brad asked, leaning forward to hear better.

“Sounded like it.” Allie stood up. “Would anyone like more coffee?”

“No, not me, thanks.” Nikki’s voice sounded despondent as she pulled herself out of Dante’s embrace. “I think I’m going to go upstairs and read. Good night, everyone.”

Dante jumped up and carried her up the stairs, ignoring her weak protests that she could manage. He would have preferred that she be angry over her dejected silence as he settled her on her bed.

“Go back down and work on Kane’s blog. I’m sure after that it’s blowing up,” she insisted when he offered to sit with her. “I’ll be fine. I’m going to take a pain pill and go to sleep. It’s just too much to think about right now and I’m tired.”

“Babe, don’t take that interview as proof that he isn’t going to work with you.” Dante sat down next to her. “He was obviously trying to talk about you. The asshole host just wouldn’t let him get a word in.”

Her mouth pursed. “Maybe. We’ll see what happens during the interview tomorrow morning. Please make sure I’m awake for it, okay? I don’t want to miss that.”

“Okay.” He got up in defeat and went to the door. “Are you sure you don’t want anything? Tea, a bath, more cookies, maybe me?”

She groaned and put a hand over her stomach. “Nothing, thanks. I stuffed myself earlier with your cookies and I’m just not the best company right now.”

“Okay. But tomorrow”—he pointed a finger at her as he let himself out of her room—“we do yoga and writing. No excuses.”

“No excuses.” She smiled, but there was a catch in her voice as he closed the door behind himself.

* * * *

“Kane called.” Allie put a waffle down in front of Nikki and ladled strawberries onto it. “Whipped cream?”

“He called?” Nikki couldn’t help the flash of excitement that went through her. She’d spent most of the night dreaming that Kane had deserted her, denounced her contest win as a mistake, and run off with a crowd of groupies from the audience of
Book Chat
. It had been a hard dream to shake, but the look on Allie’s face gave her hope that Kane hadn’t written her off completely. She met Dante’s eyes as he took his chair next to her and accepted his own waffle.

“Whipped cream, yes, please.” He smiled at Allie. “What did he say?”

“I gave him your phone number.” Briefly, Allie’s smile faded and she looked almost guilty. “He didn’t know if he would have time to call you today. It sounds like they’re running him ragged. He had to catch a flight to Boston and then meet with several more people.”

“He could sneak in a call while he was waiting to board his flight, couldn’t he?” Nikki was aware that her voice sounded more snappish than she’d intended and gave Allie an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”

“I know.” Allie scooped strawberries onto Dante’s plate and then added homemade whipped cream to both. “I don’t know why he didn’t seem to think he would be able to. All I know is he said he was going to be really busy today, but tomorrow for sure he’ll be in touch.”

“Mm-hmm.” Nikki stared down at her breakfast and debated with herself whether to voice her misgivings to Dante. She didn’t want to worry him, and she didn’t want him to think that she was only concerned about whether Kane was coming back.

Dante was happily digging in to his food, not noticing the black cloud that Nikki was sure was hanging over her head. As time went on, it became more and more apparent that Kane didn’t need her. His popularity was no doubt skyrocketing since he’d gone public about being a man. Women who had never even read him were probably curious now, feeling they had to read his books just to see if he could adequately portray a woman’s emotions.

That was silly. Men had written female characters for as long as people had been writing. Women wrote male characters. As Kane had said, human emotions weren’t that much of a stretch to imagine. Even if his characters didn’t react exactly the way she did, she couldn’t say that they were unfeminine. Women varied as much in their emotional response as men did—probably more.

Dante looked up at her, speaking around a mouthful of waffle, strawberry and whipped cream. “These are fantastic. I’ve got to buy that book.”

“You don’t have to buy it.” Allie was putting steaming cups of coffee in front of them. “I’ll give you a signed copy. You’ve more than earned it with the press you’re getting us.”

He beamed at her. “Well, you’ve certainly got one convert. I may never eat out again.”

She laughed. “That’s great. Don’t forget Kane’s interview is on in about twenty minutes.”

“Oh, yeah.” Dante’s eyes widened and he shoveled another forkful into his mouth. “Eat up, gorgeous. Don’t want to miss that.”

“No.” Nikki forced herself to take a bite. “Wouldn’t want to miss that.”

He stopped chewing and stared at her. “What’s wrong, babe?”

“I don’t know.” She put her fork down and stared at it, hating herself for the tears that were threatening to overwhelm her. Everything just seemed so bleak this morning. Kane didn’t want to be with her. He was undoubtedly beginning to realize the benefits of being single and famous. She couldn’t get the image out of her mind of a line of women just waiting to submit to him while Kane smiled and told them he would get to them all in time.

Dante gave his waffle a regretful look and scooted his chair closer, putting his arms around her and pulling her into him. She sniffed a little, feeling indulgently pathetic and self-pitying.

He waited a minute and then gave her a gentle shake. “Sweetie, stop that. It’s not as bad as you think. Kane hasn’t forgotten about you, or abandoned you, or whatever you’re convinced of. He called this morning. He’s going to be on television in half an hour telling the world about his beautiful, amazing, and talented new writing partner. Everything is going to be perfect.”

“Perfect,” she mumbled, forcing herself to nod and turn back to her breakfast. “I’m sure it is. Thanks, Dante.”

He hesitated, but the obvious call of his food won out and he went back to it, smiling encouragingly at her. “It will be. You’ll see.”

She forced herself to eat, although her stomach was tied up in knots. She could feel the waffle sitting in a lump on top of it, its entry barred by a wad of anxious worry. She just couldn’t imagine that Dante would stick with her if it turned out she couldn’t write alone. He was so convinced that they were all going to be together forever, rich and famous and happy beyond any of their wildest dreams. What if none of that happened? What if Kane came back with someone who really was suited to them? When would they realize that she was nothing but a middle-aged, pathetic wannabe?

Dante had another waffle and finished up the end of hers while they waited for the show to come on. He chattered happily about what would happen when Kane came back and they could get the book finished. The more he talked, the lower Nikki’s feelings sank. He was so convinced that everything was going to be fine that she was forced to imagine worse and worse scenarios, just to balance it out. By the time Kane walked onto the stage of
The Morning Show
, Nikki half expected to see a young, gorgeous model on his arm. It was almost a shock that he looked the same as he had yesterday on
Book Chat
.

The conversation was almost identical to the previous night’s talk show. The host asked questions about what it was like to be a male writing romance. A few times Kane seemed to be on the verge of saying that he had a new writing partner, but he was always cut off before he could get it out, and by the end of the show Nikki had convinced herself that she had imagined it.

Allie shook her head when the segment ended. “They did it again.”

“He tried.” Dante stood up and held out a hand to Nikki. “Come on. It’s time for you to get some work in.”

“Why bother?” Nikki let herself be helped up, but she could feel herself sagging. She just didn’t have the energy to go upstairs and write. What was the use? Kane was on the talk show circuit now. He wouldn’t come back here to work with her again. Maybe she should just tell Dante she was writing and take a nap. That would work. He wouldn’t bother her.

She allowed him to carry her upstairs, even though she could have easily made it herself. It just didn’t matter anymore. Nothing mattered. Half asleep, she barely noticed as they went upstairs and into her room. When he put her on the bed, she pulled a blanket around herself and curled up around her pillow.

Suddenly there was a hand on her shoulder. “What are you doing?” Dante’s voice said.

Nikki’s eyes fluttered open. “I’m just going to take a short nap. I’ll work later.”

Dante sat down on the bed next to her, frowning. “It’s ten o’clock in the morning. Why do you need a nap?”

She shrugged. “I just feel like it. Come and wake me up in an hour.”

He was silent for a moment and she snuggled down into the blanket, allowing herself to sink toward the oblivion she knew was waiting for her. If she stayed awake, she would have to think about Kane, and she didn’t want to think about Kane. Dante was still here and she was grateful for that, but there was a whole chasm of no Kane waiting for her to fall in. She would face that later.

Then her shoulder was being shaken once more. A little irritated, she opened her eyes again. “What?”

There was something in his face this time that she didn’t recognize. He wasn’t the sweet, concerned, attentive Dante now. “It’s not time to sleep,” he said. “It’s time to get your ass moving and work. You can take a nap this afternoon if you really need one. But for now I want you to work for an hour, then we’ll do yoga for a bit before lunch.”

“What? No, Dante. Really. I just need to sleep for a bit. I promise I’ll work later.”

He stood up. “No, you need to work now. I’m not sure what’s going on with you, but I don’t like it. Do we need to do some brainstorming?”

“No.” She pulled herself into a sitting position, seriously annoyed. “What is up with you?”

He folded his arms in front of his chest and gave her a look that made her want to ask if he’d been taking lessons from Kane. Seriously, he’d probably been practicing it in the mirror. She almost smiled, in spite of herself

“I don’t think this is a good time for you to get self-indulgent,” he said sternly. “You can take a break later if you need one, but first I need to see some work done. If you want me to stay and talk through the next scene or two, that’s fine. I’ll do it. But if you know where you’re going, then I’ll go and do my work for a while. Do you need me to bring you up some coffee to get you going?”