Writing the TV Drama Series 3rd Edition: How to Succeed as a Professional Writer in TV (20 page)

I saw him from out in the hallway for just a couple seconds.

FANCY

Did he look like he was getting sick again?

SIPOWICZ

I don’t know.

Sipowicz sees KATIE SIPOWICZ, his ex-wife and mother of Andy Jr., As she exits into the hallway. She’s skittish, clutches her handbag.

KATIE

Hi Andy.

Sipowicz moves to join her in the hallway.

SIPOWICZ

Are you all right Katie?

KATIE

Yes, I just had to use the girls’ room.

SIPOWICZ

I mean what’re you doing here?

KATIE

Is this a bad time? I can talk to you some other time.

At this point Sipowicz is pretty sure he’s smelling booze on Katie’s breath.

SIPOWICZ

C’mon, let’s talk in the Coffee Room.

Because she’s been drinking, Sipowicz decides to take her the back way to the Coffee Room. As he begins to shepherd her in this direction we see Medavoy and Martinez ascending the stairs.

10  INT. HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS          10

Follow
Sipowicz and Katie --

KATIE

It’s not the worst, right Andy? The worst already happened.

Sipowicz’ embarrassment at her condition distracts him from what she’s saying.

SIPOWICZ

What’re you talking about?

KATIE

I’m in a problem, but Andy J. dying’s the worst that can ever happen.

SIPOWICZ

Katie when in hell did you start drinking?

KATIE

What?

SIPOWICZ

C’mon in here.

As they enter.

11  INT. COFFEE ROOM - CONTINUOUS          11

He brings her to a chair.

KATIE

I had one small drink. It’s coming to the City and seeing you. I had one small drink.

He’s poured her some coffee, puts it in front of her, in the next instant reacts with gruff sheepishness --

SIPOWICZ

You still take milk?

KATIE

Please.

Sipowicz provides this, watches her.

KATIE (CONT’D)

(barely audible)

I’m in some trouble, Andy. I was arrested in Seacaucus for a D.U.I.

SIPOWICZ

On your way in to see me?

She shakes her head no.

SIPOWICZ (CONT’D)

So the small drink today wasn’t your first small drink.

She starts to cry, holds her hand to her mouth --

KATIE

Please don’t bully me.

SIPOWICZ

All right. All right.

Katie tries to compose herself --

KATIE

I’d had a glass of wine, one glass and the Cop says I rolled a stop which I did not. The person in front of me rolled the stop.

SIPOWICZ

Did you blow impaired? Did you take a breath test?

KATIE

(shakes her head no)

I always heard you say never agree to tests.

SIPOWICZ

And you told this Jersey Cop your ex-husband’s on The Job?

KATIE

It didn’t do any good.

SIPOWICZ

And Andy J. you told him about --that he’d been on The Job in Hackensack?

KATIE

I couldn’t bring myself to say about Andy.

SIPOWICZ

Give me this Cop’s name. When did this happen?

KATIE

Nine weeks ago.

SIPOWICZ

(shocked)

Nine weeks? When the hell’s your trial date Katie?

KATIE

This afternoon.

He stares at her in angry bafflement.

KATIE (CONT’D)

(apologetic)

I was so embarrassed to come to you.

SIPOWICZ

Were you too embarrassed to go to a lawyer?

KATIE

I thought maybe you could help me keep it from that.

He slams his hand on the table --

SIPOWICZ

How the hell was I going to help you Katie if you didn’t tell me about it?

All his old frustration at her timidity and fear and defeatedness wash over him. She winces as she always did when he would shout or slam his hand down.

KATIE

Oh Andy.

He looks at her cower; his hand goes to his forehead. He looks away --

SIPOWICZ

You got the paperwork?

Gaze averted, she produces the summons and trial notice from her purse. He looks at these a beat, then --

SIPOWICZ (CONT’D)

Drink your coffee and let me see what I can do.

KATIE

Am I too embarrassing to you to stay here?

SIPOWICZ

Katie, drink your coffee.

Off Katie, as Sipowicz exits --

12  INT. SQUAD ROOM - CONTINUOUS          12

Medavoy’s with Martinez at Martinez’ desk. They barely note Sipowicz’ exit from the Coffee Room, his brusque movement toward his desk. After a beat --

MEDAVOY

I’ll tell you James, I never had the wind so completely taken from my sails.

MARTINEZ

I got as much enthusiasm doing a day’s work as stepping on a nail.

Sipowicz peers at Katie’s paperwork, picks up the telephone.

Meanwhile MICHAEL WOLFF, 28, in sport coat and slacks, has entered the Squad. He’s carrying a manila file folder.

WOLFF

(to Dolores)

My name’s Michael Wolff. I need to speak with a Detective.

DOLORES

Just a minute.

Dolores has checked the Catching Board, heads for Medavoy at his desk.

DOLORES (CONT’D)

Detective Sipowicz is catching but he’s with his ex-wife --

MEDAVOY

What’s the guy’s problem?

DOLORES

He didn’t say.

MEDAVOY

I mean did it seem like an urgent problem?

Dolores, as distressed as the others by the turn in Simone’s condition, allows herself some small exasperation.

DOLORES

He didn’t say. He’s got like a bruise above his eye, I don’t know if that’s part of it or not.

MEDAVOY

Yeah, all right.

Martinez gives his partner a commiserating look as Medavoy gathers his energy, starts toward the Catching Area.

13  NEW ANGLE - SIPOWICZ          13

Into receiver --

SIPOWICZ

My name’s Sipowicz, I’m a Detective in the Fifteenth Squad in Manhattan -- you wrote my ex-wife up for a rolling stop last September 8th …

Medavoy’s reached the Catching Area --

MEDAVOY

(to Wolff)

Can I help you?

WOLFF

I was assaulted.

MEDAVOY

Uh-huh.

Wolff points to his eye --

WOLFF

My name’s Michael Wolff. The son of one of my tenants gave this to me, and I’ve had just about enough.

MEDAVOY

You want to press charges.

WOLFF

Yes I want to press charges.

MEDAVOY

For that half-a-shiner there,

WOLFF

Yes.

Medavoy abandons the forlorn hope Wolff may dematerialize --

MEDAVOY

Okay, c’mon.

As Medavoy shepherds Wolff toward his desk,
hold on
Sipowicz.

SIPOWICZ

(into receiver, incredulous)

She don’t tell you till you’re in the Station House? You’d already turned the work in?

(listens, nods)

No, I can … I don’t doubt what you’re saying.

(confiding)

I’ll tell you, we had a son on The Job in New Jersey got murdered -- if she was impaired wouldn’t surprise me if her drinking’s ensued connected with that …

(rubbing his neck)

Anyways, are you going to have a problem if I try reaching out to the Prosecutor?

(beat)

I appreciate it. All right, thanks a lot.

Sipowicz disconnects, punches in Costas’ number --

SIPOWICZ (CONT’D)

(abrupt)

You know anyone in the D.A.’s Office in Seacaucus?

(MORE)

SIPOWICZ(cont’d)

(listens; angrily)

I told you what I know on that -- they kept him in and he’s got a complication.

(listens)

‘Cause my ex-wife took a collar driving drunk, Sylvia -- all right? -- and she don’t let me know till three hours before her trial, and in between being criticized by you for my tone I’d like to try keeping her out of a jackpot. Now do you know any prosecutors in Seacaucus?

(beat)

All right. Thanks.

He hangs up. During this conversation, through the atrium window, we’ve seen Katie, having exited the back door of the Coffee Room, make her way to the landing through the rear and side hallways, descend the stairs.

Now Sipowicz rises, starts toward the Coffee Room; as he transits,
hold on
Medavoy and Michael Wolff --

MEDAVOY

Before we make this a case, Mr. Wolff, have you considered how filing charges against her son’s gonna affect your tenant’s willingness to pay rent?

WOLFF

I’m in my last year at Stern, which is the N.Y.U. Business School --

MEDAVOY

(who gives a shit?)

I see.

WOLFF

I’m managing this building while my uncle decides if he likes living in Florida; I could care less how bringing charges against this steroid case affects his mother’s paying rent.

Having found the Coffee Room empty, Sipowicz returns to the squad --

SIPOWICZ

Son of a bitch!

This declaration is made in proximity to Wolff; Sipowicz moves into Fancy’s Office --

14  INT. FANCY’S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS          14

He’s behind his desk. Sipowicz enters.

SIPOWICZ

I need lost time.

FANCY

All right.

SIPOWICZ

I need to go find my rummy ex-wife.

Sipowicz starts for the door, stops --

SIPOWICZ (CONT’D)

I need the cellular.

Fancy nods; Sipowicz collects the cellular, exits --

15  INT. SQUAD ROOM - CONTINUOUS          15

He heads for the door, stops at Dolores’ desk.

SIPOWICZ

I got the cellular.

DOLORES

Okay.

SIPOWICZ

If my wife calls, or there’s news on the other front.

Dolores nods. Sipowicz exits.

16  NEW ANGLE - MEDAVOY AND WOLFF          16

Medavoy’s begun filling out a 61; Wolff corrects Medavoy’s spelling of the tenant’s name --

WOLFF

U, not O on his name, and two l’s --Bullinger.

Medavoy looks up, considers Wolff, shakes his head and laughs.

WOLFF (CONT’D)

What’s so funny?

MEDAVOY

Nothing, Mr. Wolff.

WOLFF

I guess you and I don’t share the same sense of humor.

MEDAVOY

I guess I don’t really care about that, okay. Let’s just you and me fill out your complaint how his guy only hit you the one time while you dunned his mother for her rent.

Off which --

FADE OUT.

END ACT ONE

A
NALYSIS

Let’s start by naming the stories. “A” is about Simone dying; “B” is Sipowicz and his ex-wife Katie; “C” is Medavoy and Wolff. I’ve used simple tags, and that’s fine for identification, but when you plan your own script, I suggest that you create real dramatic log lines. That way, you’ll be sure your stories have conflict — that they’re actually stories, not just situations. Using the example episode, you might phrase log lines something like this:

A: As Simone’s death becomes imminent, he fights until he ultimately makes peace with his memories. Within this arena, Russell, Sipowicz and others have story arcs from denial and anger to acceptance.

B: When Sipowicz is challenged by Katie’s drinking and desperation, he must overcome his anger, guilt and his own alcoholic history to be able to help her.

C: Medavoy struggles to stay professional while an arrogant man’s complaints escalate.

Notice in each case I’ve stated the stories as issues for main cast, not the guest cast, though the guests (Katie and Wolff) are bringing the inciting incidents.

COLD OPENING

This teaser is entirely “A” story (slug lines #1 through #7), though it’s comprised of several beats. In planning an important opening like this, I would begin by making a mini-outline, planning each beat to build suspense. See if you can make your own list of the turning points in these first pages that end with “SMASH CUT TO,” which signals the end of the teaser.

Did you get these beats?

•  The Detectives spar with each other in anticipation;

•  The first reveal: Russell discovers the drainage;

•  Sipowicz schemes to find out what’s happening;

•  Tension mounts when Dr. Swan confirms the problem;

•  Sipowicz discovers it; we see his personal stakes;

•  Sipowicz and Russell reveal the crisis to the detectives, who leave, apprehensive.

Those six beats ramp quickly into the drama using a basic storytelling progression: Anticipation — Expectation — Surprise. That is, viewers are led to
anticipate
an event, which holds people through the set-up. As the action advances, we come to
expect
certain outcomes. Instead, the story turns (twists), generating a sense of
surprise
which then begins a new sequence of suspense. You can readily create tension on screen that way, as this teaser demonstrates so well.

Also, consider the use of humor in this heavy episode. Here’s another age-old practice: increase the impact of tragedy by setting it against a comic foil. Shakespeare played his fools and foolishness — sometimes for belly laughs from the audience of his day — in his most tragic plays. Here, the episode begins with a moment so light it’s almost silly — jockeying for position at a window. Then, as the drama moves into Act One, an outrageous fool appears in the person of Mr. Wolff. With all that in mind, let’s get into the first act.

Act One

The “B” story about Sipowicz and Katie (#8 to #12) begins with several beats that are emotionally challenging to Sipowicz in the midst of the already heartbreaking news his partner isn’t getting better. I just spoke about the value of comic relief, yet here’s more stress. So why do you think the writers chose to come out of the title sequence and open Act One with this?

Here are some possibilities: While the Simone illness is suspenseful, it does not involve action for our continuing cast — except, of course, Simone and Russell, though even for them, the conflicts are internal, and their decisions result mainly from reflection. In dealing with Katie’s very tangible distress, followed by her wandering off, Sipowicz is able to vent the claustrophobic hospital.