Authors: K. Larsen
“Why is he the reason?”
“Pass,” I clip and Dom growls in frustration.
“Why does it surprise you that even when you’re a crying
jerk you can turn me on?” he asks, clearly giving up and changing the topic.
“I don't know. I guess I want to believe that you’re a
pompous ass, an entitled jerk, so that this is easier for me. Knowing you’re
just as affected by me as I am by you just makes things worse,” I huff and let
my head collapse back to his chest.
“I think about you all the time, Clara. If I could evict you
from my head I would have done it a month ago. Why are you so sure you can’t be
with me?” He sounds desperate and needy and it nearly breaks me.
“I’d like to explain. I really would, but Allie comes first
in my life and there are already too many people who know the truth,” I mumble
into his shirt.
His grip tightens around me. “Are you in danger?” His voice
is tight and controlled.
“Honestly, I don't know...but that’s not something I’m
willing to find out,” I admit reluctantly. He sighs loudly.
“We should head back. My plane leaves in a couple hours.”
I nod, swing a leg over and off the bike and hop on the back
again. Helmets secured, he fires up the bike and directs us back to town. When
he pulls up alongside my car I hop off and hand him his helmet.
“I don't want you with anyone else.”
The words tumble out of me before I can stop them. Dom
reaches out and crushes me to his chest.
“I don’t want anyone else,” he soothes, “but I won't stop
dating until you’re ready to be with me. Publicly.”
I stumble back from him in shock. “I have events that
require a date, Clara. I want you in my world just as much as you want me only
in yours.” He looks pained as he speaks but remains firm. “When you’re ready to
be with me, I’ll be here.”
I can’t even form words. He’s rotten. I spill my guts to
him, tell him I want him and he still wants more. Greedy ass. Why can't he just
agree to date on my terms for a while? Okay, so maybe that's a little much.
Clearly it’s all about me. I am a certified mess. I back up a few more steps
and can feel my anger and frustration bubbling to the surface.
“If you knew, you wouldn't push me to be a part of your
world,” I spit, putting my defenses in place.
“But I don't know, because YOU. WON'T. TELL. ME!.” he roars,
clearly frustrated.
“Well, that about sums up our fucked-up relationship. See ya
in September,” I say with snark. I can feel the steely walls replacing
themselves around my heart. I’m shutting him out and closing myself in. I don't
even care right now. My defense mechanisms kick in and I leave him sitting on
his idling bike without another thought.
By the time Sawyer gets home I’ve cried myself silly, eaten
a pint of chocolate ice cream, and can be found soaking in the bathtub drinking
wine while Fiona Apple blares through the house. The bathroom door creaks as
Sawyer pushes the door open and he plops down on the edge of the tub.
“Hey, love. Rough day?” he asks hesitantly.
“The worst,” I pout at him.
“Fiona always spells trouble for you,” he chuckles, watching
me.
Gazing at me tenderly, he stands and rids himself of all his
clothes before hopping in the tub with me. Our wet bodies slide against each
other as I recline my head to his chest.
“Sorry I’ve been a dick,” he says, caressing my shoulders.
His hands slide along my skin, lower to my chest, and begin massaging my stress
away.
“Don’t sweat it,” I sigh. “I still love you,” I breathe,
wiggling my hips in invitation to him. And like the bitch that I am I make love
to Sawyer in the tub to rid myself of the lingering thoughts of Dominic Napoli.
Sawyer and I pick Allie up from camp on Sunday and spend the
remaining part of the day having family time together. I’m thankful she’s home
for the rest of the summer. I need the distraction. July fades away and I
realize I’ve thrown myself into Sawyer’s arms full force. We’re back to our
normal routine as if Dominic never existed. I ignore all his texts, and the
necklace that I love rests in its box in my nightstand drawer. Gorgeous flower
arrangements have arrived weekly since his departure and I throw all of them in
the trash without a second glance. My walls are fully intact again and I intend
to keep them that way. Allie and I need stability and that’s what we have here
with Sawyer.
Marg: Hey
What's up!
Marg: Just checkin in
Things are fine
Marg: Are they?
No Dom talk. that’s way over
Marg: Liar
Fine I still think about him
Marg: Just give the truth a shot Clara
No
Marg: He might understand if you just TELL him
Maybe but still...not happening
Marg: What am I gonna do with you?
Love me anyway?
Marg: Always
Things are comfortable and easy at home, Allie is chipper as
always, and Sawyer seems overly happy these days. He snuggles more, hasn’t gone
on any dates recently, and caters to my every need. You know when you're in bed
and can't sleep, so you just start making mental movies of perfect scenarios in
life? That's my life, and all the scenarios involve me and Dominic. Sleep is
the worst. My dreams are always of Dom and are relentless in their attack. I
wake up craving his touch most mornings. The shower never seems hot enough to
scorch my skin and burn away my wants or the memory of his touch.
“See you Friday.”
Dom’s text reminds me that his next appointment is tomorrow.
As is normal now, I force myself not to respond. Last week I secretly looked
him up on Google and found a plethora of pictures from the last three weeks of
him at various events with gorgeous women draped all over him. It made me sick
to my stomach and I’d thrown my laptop against the wall. Sawyer didn't
understand why I’d done it, and I wasn't about to tell him. But he replaced it
the next day and asked me to be gentle with this one. He really is too good to
me.
I’m flat out tired today and my back is killing me from
being hunched over bodies for so long.
“Mom!” Allie races through the shop and bear hugs me. Sawyer
chuckles and drops her bag by the front desk.
“Hi, babe. How was your day?”
“Good. Can I have a sleepover this weekend with Madison?”
she asks hopefully.
“Did Madison invite you?” I ask, hoping I’m not stepping
into a trap.
“Yeah, here,” she says and thrusts a note from Madison’s mom
at me. I scan it quickly noting that she has, in fact, been invited over
tonight.
“I guess so,” I say. Allie jumps and fist pumps the air
before thanking me ten times. After calling Madison’s mom and confirming, I
agree to drop Allie at her house at six. That should give us enough time to get
home and pack a bag for her. Allie takes her position at the front desk and
Sawyer sits his next client down to get to work. Dom walks through the door at
four, twenty minutes late. The sight of him steals my breath but I keep my
poker face intact giving nothing away. I refuse to get sucked under his spell.
Things are good at home and I've made my bed. I will lie in it. I will.
“Hey,” I call out. “I’m all ready for you.” He struts back
to my station and quickly removes his shirt. I try not to stare as he lies down
on the table. “Sorry I’m late,” he says softly.
“Me too. I’m out of here at five so I’ll do as much as I
can,” I say curtly.
“I was hoping we could talk,” he admits.
“Sorry,” I clip and get started.
“Clara.” My name drips like honey from his lips and I have
to close my eyes and take a deep breath. Why does my name sound so amazing when
he says it? It really does. It makes me want to hear it again and again. It’s
so much easier ignoring him when he’s not physically near me. I stand and prowl
over to Sawyer. His head pops up, giving me a questioning look. Knowing Dom’s
watching, I grab Sawyer’s face between my hands and kiss him passionately.
“Love you, muffin,” I purr. Sawyer sits, stunned, as the guy on his table
whistles at us. I turn back to Dom and lick my lips as I walk back to my stool.
His expression is dark; his face is tight and the muscles in his neck are
straining against his skin. I am going to Hell. I smirk at him as I lift the
gun and resume my work. Point made, I chuckle to myself.
My knee bounces nervously as I work, knowing that I just
used Sawyer and hurt Dom. There is something seriously wrong with me. Allie
chirps happily at customers up front making appointments. At five she trots
over to me. “Neat snake,” she says to Dom.
“Thanks,” he says, his expression finally softening. I want
to tell him to shut up and not speak to my daughter but I don’t.
“Do you like snakes?” he asks. Allie nods her head
excitedly.
“This guy came into school last year and showed us a bunch
of reptiles and we got to touch them and hold them. It was soooo cool,” she
gushes.
“That sounds like a lot of fun,” he replies, interested.
“Totally,” she answers. “Mom, it’s five, can we go? Can I
bring Lucky to Madison’s with me?” she rambles, a mile a minute.
“Yes and yes. Let me just clean up,” I answer. She nods her
head and moves over to Sawyer telling him how awesome it’s going to be at
Madison’s sleepover tonight. I wipe and clean Dom’s side, cover the work with a
paper towel, and tape it in place.
“All set,” I mumble as my fingers drift over his skin. I
notice his muscles twitch at my touch. I spin my stool to my tray without
looking at him and start cleaning my station.
“Right. Well. Thanks.” He stumbles over his words and I
secretly smile that I’m affecting him.
“One more session and it’s over. Ask Allie to book it on
your way out.” I smile sweetly at him. His expression is forced and I know he’s
dying to say something.
“Hey mister. Does September sixth work for you?” Allie calls
out to him, stealing his attention away from me, thankfully. I watch as he
strides to her and looks over his calendar on his phone. I hurry to finish
cleaning up while they arrange his last appointment. Grabbing my bag from the
back room I pat Sawyer’s head on my way by and meet Allie at the front.
“Mom! Guess what?!” she exclaims.
“What?” I feign the same enthusiasm, making her roll her
eyes at me.
“Dominic said I could take a limo to Madison’s! Oh my god,
can I?!” she squeals. I turn to Dom and give him the best death stare I can
muster. Underhanded piece of shit. If I say no I’m the worst mom on the planet,
but if I say yes he wins. “Pleeeeeaaaseee mom!?” she cries.
“I’m sure Dominic has other things he needs to do, honey.”
“Not at all. My evening is completely free,” he replies
smugly.
“Yes!” Allie elates.
“Fine,” I give in.
“How about we take the limo to your house first so you can
pack, and then go to Madison’s?” he offers and I swear Allie just died and went
to heaven. Her skinny arms circle his waist as she thanks him profusely. Allie
darts out ahead of us to jump into the limo and check everything out.
“I never took you for a below-the-belt fighter,” I snip as
we head outside.
“I’m not above fighting dirty for what I want,” he murmurs
close to my ear. I walk faster to put distance between us. During the ride to
the house, Allie thankfully fills the silence with chatter as I sit on the
opposite side of the car from Dominic. He answers all her questions and I find
myself focused on the way his full lips move when he talks. I snap my eyes shut
and shake the thoughts from my head as she flits around the back seat claiming
everything is the most awesome thing ever until we pull into the driveway.
Hurrying out, I dart inside and furiously throw things into Allie’s bag as she
waits in the car with Dom. Once I’m sure I've packed everything she’ll need, I
suck in a few deep breaths to steady my resolve. I will not give in to him, I
dislike him immensely, I chant repeatedly in my head.
Climbing back into the car I find the strobe lights in the
floor are on and Icona Pop’s “I Love It” blaring. Dom is crouched on his knees
flailing wildly next to a dancing Allie. The smile on her face is so big I’m
worried her face might explode. I crack a smile watching my little girl have a
dance party with the masculine six-foot-three handsome man and the chink in my
armor expands despite my best efforts. “Mom! Dance with us!” Allie squeals,
noticing me. Dom twists around looking like he just got caught stealing. His
olive skin flushes with embarrassment and I burst out laughing. I climb into
the car, move around Dom and Allie and perch at the divider to give the driver
the address for Madison’s. When I swing back around Dom’s gaze--dark and
trained on my rear--is anything but innocent. My heart flutters in my chest and
I try to distract myself. It doesn't matter. I don't want him.
Madison comes screaming down the steps of her front porch as
we pull into her driveway completely mesmerized by the limo. Her mom appears as
the three of us exit the car and Madison and Allie talk to each other at the
speed of light.
“Hi, Anna,” I greet.
“Clara. This is a surprise.” She nods at the limo.
“Anna, this is Dominic Napoli. Dominic, Anna, Madison’s
mom,” I introduce them. Dom shakes her hand and smiles a dazzling smile at her.
I’m sure that smile's made many panties drop.
“Would it be okay if the girls took a ride around the block
together?” Dom asks. The girls' faces light up at the prospect.
“Oh, of course!” Anna says breathlessly. I nod, unaffected
by his charm. The girls titter with delight as they scramble into the limo. Dom
instructs the driver to do two laps around the neighborhood and bring them
back. The limo backs carefully out of the driveway and as they pull away you
can hear the bass pumping from the car. I chuckle to myself knowing they’re probably
having the dance party of all dance parties.
“So, ah, Mr. Napoli, how do you know the Lords?” Anna asks
politely.
“I met her in one of my clubs and couldn't tear my eyes off
her.” He smiles coyly at me. I cross my arms over my chest at his dirty, dirty
warfare. Anna sighs and looks to me.
“You’re one lucky lady, Clara,” she giggles until another
thought takes over. “Wait. Aren’t you and Sawyer married?” she questions. Most
people assume this about us and we haven't bothered to correct anyone.
“We aren't, no,” I explain. Her brows furrow in confusion.
“We’ve lived together for almost five years, but we aren't married. Please
excuse Dominic, he’s a little overt in his teasing. We did meet at one of his
clubs but I’m working on a piece for him.” I smile smugly at Dom. “He’s quite
the jokester,” I add. There, asshole, counter that. Dom moves to my side and
brushes my hair over my shoulder.
“Touché,” he mutters under his breath close to my ear,
sending a shiver of want down my spine. He’s too close. I step away as
discreetly as possible, using Allie’s bag as an excuse.
“This has everything she needs,” I explain to Anna.
“Oh, great. I’ll drop her off tomorrow around noon. Does
that work?”
“Sounds great,” I answer. Dom glances at his watch and
excuses himself to make a phone call while we wait for the girls to get back.
They arrive in one piece with shit-eating grins to boot. After I give Allie a
hug and a kiss Dom and I say goodbye to Anna and get back in the limo.
“I can't believe you!” I hiss when we’re finally alone.
“Allie seemed to enjoy it,” he comments, ignoring me
completely.
“Don't you dare use her against me ever again,” I seethe.
“How else was I to get you alone? You won't answer my calls
or texts and barely spoke to me during our session today,” he snarls.
“I don't want you to get me alone. There’s a reason I’m
avoiding you,” I snarl back.
“And what might that be?” he asks curiously.
“I don't want you,” I state firmly.
“Bullshit!” he shouts.
“Excuse me?” I squawk.
“I don't think I need to repeat myself. You heard,” he
clips.
“Sawyer and I are giving it another go. You need to stay out
of my life,” I lie. His face twists into a tortured expression before his lips
thin into a firm line and a vein in his neck bulges.
“I’m quite aware of your understanding with Sawyer. Just as
I’m sure you’re aware that I’ve been dating.” Ouch. That hurt. I lose all
self-control right then. I play to win and I feel like I’m losing and I will
NOT have that. It’s on. Bring it.
Sliding across the seat I stop right next to him, my
breathing ragged. “Yes,” I poke him hard in his sternum and his eyes widen.
“I’ve seen enough pictures of your dates,” the word coming out in a sneer, “to
last a lifetime!” I poke him again. Pressing myself against him I know I’m
crossing a line but I don't care if I’m pushing his buttons. I stretch myself
across him like a bridge, pulling him to the edge with me. “They all look so
intriguing,” I snort and press my chest to his while his fingers grip the seat
and his knuckles turn white. “I’m sure they satisfy your every need.” I slide
my hand up his inner thigh and cup him. He’s hard and I gasp in surprise.
“There’s no reason for you to want me with those girls at your beck and call,
is there Mr. Napoli?” I finish, breathing hard in his face and still cupping
him. His eyes are black with lust and I know I need to move away or I’ll be
sucked into the tornado that is Dominic Napoli. I remove my hand from his
crotch and slide as far away as possible. The tension between us is as thick as
fog as I stare silently out the window at the passing scenery. His breathing
sounds labored as it fills the silence but I don't dare make eye contact with
him.