Wrong Kind of Paradise (14 page)

Max shook his head, but Bruno didn’t move. He motioned something with his hands and Max said,

“He thinks it should be her choice.”

Blac sighed. “Whatever her grandfather has done in the past, he can offer her security. I was to set

sail as soon as the Serpent was ready to drop her into her grandfather’s care two years ago. That’s what

Logan had wanted then, and why shouldn’t we want the same thing?”

Bruno scowled. He wasn’t convinced, obviously. Blac sighed. “She’ll inherit her mother’s dowry,

marry into a good family, have everything that she ever needs or wants.” Blac stood. “Or would you

rather she live amongst pirates her entire life?”

Bruno remained stoic and crossed his arms.

Blac tossed his napkin onto his plate. “Let me tell you her life, Bruno. She’ll marry some deadbeat

pirate, have multiple children, and be widowed at a young age. This kind of life will wear her down and

she’ll eventually begin to show it. The sparkle in her eyes will be sucked right out of her, and you’ll no

longer be able to see a trace of the vibrant sweetness you see right now.”

He placed both hands on the table to get his point across. “Think about it, she’ll become bitter,

miserable, and one day she’ll probably blame you and me. Is that what you really want for Angel?”

Bruno seemed to falter, his eyes fell and he sighed. He nodded and got to his feet. His dark hand

covered his heart.

“Aye we all love her, matey,” Max said.

“If it’s any consolation, I want her to stay here with me and I’ll miss her like the devil. But she is

too naïve to make the right decision for herself. I want the best for her, even if it means letting her go.”

Pain clenched his heart, and the sudden loss of breath made him realize everything he’d just said

was true. He loved her. He would miss her smile, her laughter, and the bright shining eyes when she saw

something she loved.

He took a step back as if he’d been hit with a physical force, then another.
How can I let her go

when all I really want to do is hold her and keep her safe?

Ten

Blac stumbled out the door onto the veranda.

He couldn’t catch his breath. Everything in him whirled and he found no way to control the

unremitting spiraling of thoughts inside his head.
What had he become
?

Blac had prided himself as a moral man. A man who, despite all else in his life, always managed to

do the right thing. And here he was lusting after his good friend’s daughter.
What kind of man was he?

What kind of friend?

He shouldn’t feel these things for Angel but he was drawn to her. She undid him like the thinnest

piece of yarn unraveling from a ball until he lay in a jumbled mess. And here he stood, confused,

disoriented, and whatever sanity he had left was held in check with the barest hint of restraint.

Angel had unwittingly finagled her way through his cracks into the deepest, darkest part of him.

She’d laid waste to his every defense until he stood bare.

And now he loved a woman he could never have.

His eyes followed the veranda to the left and then to the right, as if he were searching for the

answer and it would be there. But there were no answers here, only a black, infinite expanse of questions.

One by one, the stars turned on and he closed his eyes. Too bad the light didn’t penetrate inside the

recesses of his mind and reveal the answers he sought.

What have I become
?

“Blac?” He squeezed his eyes closed.

Her whispered words tore the breath from his chest. “Are you all right?”

No, I’m lost
.

“Are you unwell?”

He opened his eyes. She glided out of the shadows at the corner of the veranda. Shrouded in

moonlight, she wore a virginal white night gown, enforcing the image of her innocence. And his heart split

slowly down its center. One part of it would always belong to her. He knew this now. But he had a duty to

protect her. Even from himself.

Especially from himself.

He would keep his promise to Logan because above all, they were friends. And Blac was

honorable. And loyal. He would not bend or change from his course.

Even if it meant watching the only beautiful thing in his life slip away from him. He peered down at

his hands as if he could catch her before she disappeared. But she didn’t vanish.

He couldn’t speak as she glided her way to him. Like an ethereal being. An angel. And the ache in

his heart swelled until he thought it might burst. He would remember her just as she was at this moment

for the rest of his life. When he grew old and grey, he would hold this moment close, because once she

was gone, he would never feel this way again.

The sweetest hint of jasmine wafted to him. One of his hands moved of its own accord and lifted a

single flaxen lock from her shoulder.

“Is everything all right, Blac? You look a little pale.”

Blac smiled softly at the concern in her eyes. She’d always fancied herself in love with him. He

must make her let him go. “We have to address this attraction between us.”

Her eyes widened.

“Don’t tell me I’m the only one that feels it,” he whispered.
Was that a plea
?

“No.”

“Do you understand why I can’t let this continue?”

She shook head. “No, I don’t understand. Why is this so wrong?”

The wind rustled her hair and the silvery strands glistened like silk. Her eyes appeared translucent.

And pleading.

His hand caressed her chin. How could he make her see reason when he could see little himself?

“Angel, your father and I have been friends for many years. He offered the kind of friendship most people

will never find. I owe him more than loyalty. I cannot allow myself or you to betray his trust in such a

way.” He grasped her upper arms. “Do you understand that at least?”

She nodded. Her brows furrowed and she wrapped her arms around waist as if in comfort. He

should be the one to offer her comfort but he forced himself to keep her at arm’s length.

“But make no mistake, this is the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make. I want you with every part

of my being, I want more than your body. I—”

He’d almost slipped and told her he loved her. That would prove disastrous. She would never give

up her pursuit then, and he must get her to let him go because he wasn’t sure he was capable of doing the

same. “I’ve come to feel things for you that we must put a stop to now.”

She pulled from his embrace and he let her go. “Do you really believe my father will be that angry

with us?”

“No.”

She tossed both arms in the air. “Then why worry about it?”

“Because
I
will know. It is morally wrong for me to feel this way about you, I am twelve years your

senior.”

“Age matters little to me!”

“But it matters to me, Angel.”

She huffed and turned her back to him. “This ethical road you’re taking is of your own choosing,

and you only make the both of us suffer the consequences because you’re too stubborn to admit you might

be wrong.”

She swung back to him and pointed a finger in his chest. “You may think your resistance is the right

thing to do but when it’s all said and done, you will realize that there are some things we simply can’t

control. That’s your biggest problem, Blac. You think you have to control everything. Everything must be

in order, go the way you want it to, be in its proper place, and when you’re faced with something you

can’t control, you crumble.”

She was right. But it didn’t change his mind. He’d set a course for himself and nothing could sway

him from it. Not even the sweetest lips of the Angel before him.

“You think I can’t?”

“What?”

“You think I can’t resist this? Or you?”

She lifted a soft hand to his cheek. “I think you will try.” The warmth of her hand lured him, and he

resisted the urge to lean into it.
Christ, how could she feel so right?
“I think you are resisting, even now.

But I’m hoping you will change your mind.”

“Why?” His voice broke on that single word.
Why did he sound so tortured
?

She studied him with languid, blue-green eyes and he wanted to forget his reasoning for not taking

her into his arms. He wanted to forget everything but the feel of her, the scent of her, and the taste of her

sweetness.

“Because my happiness lies within your decision, as well. Or hadn’t you realized that?”

Her whispered words tore through him and ripped out his heart. “You will love again,” he assured

her. “I’m confident you will find someone and live a full life.”

“And you will not?”

He continued as if he hadn’t heard her. “You will marry and have children. Your life will be full of

all the things it should be.” He was trying just as hard to convince himself as he was trying to convince

her, but somewhere inside, he sensed that he’d failed at both endeavors.

“You are so certain of that? It will be so much easier for me to forget all that has transpired

between us than it will be for you? Is that what you’re saying?”

Her question confused him, or was it her nearness? “No— Yes!” He sighed. “I don’t know, but I do

know this. I am taking you to your grandfather’s home in Barbados until I get this ransom business done.

He’ll take you to London and make sure you find a good man to marry.”

“I don’t want a good man!” She balled her fists at her side. “Don’t you get it? You’re taking away

my right to choose for myself. If those are my choices then I choose to be alone.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying.” He dismissed her words as illogical. She’d had little

experience with matters of the heart. “Loneliness will change your mind quickly.”

“Like it’s done for you?”

Her countered reply surprised him. He frowned. “Honestly, I’ve never known loneliness until—”

He’d almost said
now
. To admit his infatuation had completely consumed his entire life would be

the greatest folly. He could only imagine her determination once she learned how much he adored her, and

would have to kiss his plans goodbye.

Her features softened, and she moved before he knew what she was about. Her arms wrapped

around his waist and she rested her head on his chest. And damn if she didn’t feel perfect there, as if she

fit. He should step back, but he didn’t when he had the chance. Instead, his arms closed over her and

wrapped her up. The sweetest warmth blossomed inside his chest, and he could no longer deny that he

was irrevocably in love with her.

Then she did the one thing she shouldn’t have; she raised her face to him. Her eyes half closed, lips

parted, and desire written so plainly there to see. He groaned. The touch of their lips hurled heat through

his body like a blazing trail of lava.

Every rational thought fled, every sense of propriety disappeared, and Blac could no longer still his

heart.

His arms crushed her to him, and she opened beautifully to him. Their tongues searched and mated.

Her slender arms wound their way around his neck and pulled him closer.

“What have you done to me?” he whispered against her lips.

She sighed. “Made you fall in love?”

He crushed her to him. Her scent driving him to madness.

Yes, she’d managed to do just that.

Soft fingers dug into the coiled muscles of his shoulders and her body arched into him, her breasts

flattening against his chest.

“I must stop this.” The command did little but leave his lips, for his body had long since ceased to

listen. He wanted nothing more than to pick her up, take her to his room, and lay her across his bed to fill

her with his flesh. She trembled beneath his hands.

“Please don’t,” she murmured against his lips.

His hands coasted down her back until they anchored themselves against her derriere. He nibbled at

the soft lips and bit with care. A soft sigh escaped and he captured it, drinking it in. His cupped hands

lifted her against his arousal and he backed her into the wall behind them. Those lush, shapely legs

wrapped around him and his resistance slipped further. She wiggled against him, trying to get closer, and

he closed his eyes, reveling in the feel of the warmth between her thighs.

How could he resist this woman? The only woman who’d ever captured his interest so thoroughly

he’d thought of little else over the last few years.

With one hand he slid the gown up her thighs. The warmth of her skin inflamed him. He clasped her

hips and ground his erection against her. She panted into his mouth.

“Don’t fight it.”

His body leapt at the soft command. He’d lost the will to fight this the moment she’d touched him,

but eagerness overcame him as if he were an untried lad. His body clearly stated resistance was futile.

He gathered the cotton in his hands, sliding the gown to her waist. She strained against him, and

every last ounce of his sanity fled.

His hands shimmied under the gown to her breasts and closed over each mound to gently squeeze.

His thumbs brushed over the turgid peaks and she gasped, tossing her head back and giving him access to