Xylophone (20 page)

bruises fade. Like any trauma, molestation

experiences had certain core characteristics in

common. And like any trauma, each experience

was unique. The details of cause and effect were

profoundly personal—and beyond the soothing

touch of empathy or intimacy.

“That doesn’t minimize how we feel about

each other,” Dare had said. “That’s just how it is.”

Jonah had wholeheartedly agreed. They’d

certainly come a long way together but they

weren’t magicians.

By then, maybe a month after they’d started

seeing each other, Dare had learned enough not to

r ul e
anything
out. So that night, before he and

Jonah went to sleep, they vowed to do, separately

or together, whatever it took to accommodate their

memories of Pankin and Wallace. Repressing the

memories sure as hell didn’t work, and banishing

them wasn’t possible. Accommodating them,

managing them, was the only realistic goal. They

might just end up in therapy after all. After the

holidays, they’d give the matter more thought.

When “Fascination” concluded, the band took

another break and Dare took further advantage of

his time offstage. He and Jonah escaped onto a

balcony beyond a pair of French doors at one side

of the room. The weather certainly wasn’t balmy,

but temperatures were moderate for this time of

year, and the show of stars was brilliant.

He and Jonah stood with their arms around

each others’ waists, hands beneath jackets for

extra warmth. They kissed once, lightly, but didn’t

speak.

More and more of their moments together

were like this—filled with feeling, marked by

contented silence. Not everything in life required

discussion. In fact, Dare had discovered, the best

things required no discussion at all, once a person

came to accept them.

“Think we shocked anybody?” Dare finally

asked.

“Probably. But not
too
many people.”

“Think we’ll catch any shit? Or Bob Lempke

will?”

“God, I hope not. I doubt it, though.”

“What makes you say that? Most of the guests

are GG’s age, maybe even older.”

“Most of them are also her friends, which

means they’re not narrow-minded. They wouldn’t

be her friends if they were.” Jonah glanced at Dare

and smiled. “My grandmother does
not
suffer

fools. She might tolerate them for the sake of

civility, but she won’t let them into her life.”

Dare already knew that was why Jonah’s

mother, GG’s own daughter, wasn’t here. She’d

been sent a wedding announcement but not an

invitation. Her treatment of Jonah following the

Wallace incident, based on skewed and damaging

beliefs she’d never recanted, had caused a

permanent rift between the two women.

Dare found it heartbreaking, especially for

Jonah’s sake, but Jonah seemed to have accepted

his estrangement from his mother. He was smart

enough to know that all the wishing in the world

couldn’t repair certain situations or certain

people’s thinking. Just like no analgesic in the

world could thoroughly numb or erase the pain

inflicted by Pankin and Wallace. All a wounded

person could do was try to understand and forgive,

learn and move on.

And somehow, somewhere find goodness to

breathe in.

At least, Dare thought, not everybody in the

world was as ignorant as Jerrilyn Day. There were

plenty of enlightened folks to help counterbalance

the benighted ones.

Jonah leaned closer to Dare, held him tighter.

So right
. Jonah had made happiness more than an

abstraction for Dare. Jonah had made it real.

“I wonder who’ll be the first to say it,” Dare

murmured, thinking aloud.

“Say what?”

“‘I love you.’”

Neither of them had yet spoken those words.

Two months punctuated by occasional jarring

flashbacks hadn’t seemed like enough time.

Certainly not enough normal time.

Tonight, though, amid the fairy tale of GG’s

golden-years wedding, and the ballroom’s

twinkling ambience, and the almost palpable

approach of Christmas, the lyrics of the last waltz

had been gliding with particular significance

through Dare’s mind. He was sure of only a few.
It

was fascination, I know
began the song.
Just a

passing glance
came a little later.
Fascination

turned to love
was the last line.

It seemed like a condensed version of his and

Jonah’s relationship, but without the wrenching

impositions of the past.

He felt Jonah’s head, just a couple of inches

above him, rest against his own for a second or

two, then felt the press of Jonah’s lips against his

hair.

“I’d like to think you just answered your own

question.”

“You know”—Dare returned the kiss, but to

Jonah’s earlobe—“I believe I did.”

He felt the rumple of Jonah’s cheek as Jonah

smiled. “Good. Because I love you too.”

“And Pepper?”

“You bet. That devilish Pepper is part of the

package.”

Dare snuggled against him.
So right, there’s

no more room for wrong.

About the Author

If there’s one thing K.Z. SNOW loves more than

indulging her wayward imagination, it’s the natural

world and, especially, animals. She’s been a

companion to most domesticated creatures and a

good number of the feral ones commonly known as

men. After too many turbulent years, her life in the

upper Midwest is finally boring as hell—an

achievement as well as a blessing.

She’s overeducated, underskilled, and has written

a lot of stuff. Her only awards are two medals she

received, obviously out of sympathy, for playing

the bassoon and making it sound like a

malfunctioning chainsaw.

Visit K.Z.’s blog at http://kzsnow.blogspot.com or

her web site at http://www.kzsnow.com/ or e-mail

her at [email protected].

By K.Z SNOW

NOVELS

The Zero Knot

NOVELLAS

Abercrombie Zombie

A Hole in God’s Pocket

Jude in Chains

Mongrel

The Prayer Waltz

Precious_Boy

Visible Friend

Xylophone

Published by DREAMSPINNER PRESS

http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com

Also from K.Z. SNOW

http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com

Contemporary Romance from K.Z

SNOW

http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com