Yamada Monogatari: To Break the Demon Gate (34 page)

“Lady Hoshiko is a nun?”

“Just so. I believe she renounced the world without her family’s permission. Such requests are usually granted without question, but not it seems in an ambitious branch of the Taira family with a shortage of marriageable daughters. That is how Lord Sentaro found Lady Hoshiko. That is how he forced her to do as he wanted. She is already dead, so far as this world is concerned. Cutting her head off as well would be wretched excess, in my opinion.”

Prince Kanemore finally grunted assent. “Well then,” he said, “that still leaves Lord Sentaro.”

“No, Highness. That leaves Master Dai-wu.”

Kanemore scowled. “Lord Yamada, please do not say what I think you are going to say. I have already admitted I was mistaken. You were right all along. This is Lord Sentaro and he is a murderer.”

“Again, Highness, I must respectfully—and reluctantly—disagree. I was right that Lord Sentaro was responsible for these murders and more besides. I was wrong that this man and Lord Sentaro are one and the same. Look into his eyes, prince, and tell me what you see that you did not see before.”

Master Dai-wu merely kneeled obediently where we had placed him, looking at the sobbing Lady Hoshiko with compassion.

“Please, my lords, take her to where she can be attended,” he said.

I nodded at Kenji, who came forward and helped Nidai half-carry, half-lead Lady Hoshiko into the temple. I turned back to Prince Kanemore.

“Well, Highness?”

“I see exactly what I saw before,” he said.

“Yes, and you do not see what
I
saw before, and never will again. Prince Kanemore, I said once that an
ikiryo
is the living soul of a person. That is true, but incomplete. It is also a manifestation of that person’s darker emotions: jealousy and envy, in the case of the Lady of the Sixth Ward in the Genji tale. In Lord Sentaro’s case, it was all that and more: hatred, rage, avarice, unbridled ambition. All went into the creation of the
ikiryo.
”

“He would have used that power to slay my nephew!”

“Indeed. Lord Sentaro thought he controlled these things, but I believe they controlled him by the end. Still, once he discovered this ability, he poured every dark emotion he had within him to create that evil creature we fought and defeated in Princess Teiko’s palace. Thanks to Master Wu, Kenji and his fellow reprobates we trapped it there, and what did we do with it then?”

Kanemore looked grimly satisfied. “We sent it to hell.”

“Precisely so,” I said, and pleased though I was at the result, the memory sent shards of ice through my veins. “It was no more or less than what he deserved. Yet we must now ask ourselves: if we sent Lord Sentaro to hell, then who is Master Dai-wu?”

Kanemore’s scowl deepened. “Lord Yamada, I don’t like riddles,” he said.

“ ‘What the lightning destroys, it must first illuminate.’ That was what Master Dai-wu said to me, that time at Enryaku-ji. Lord Sentaro was the lightning, Highness. Lady Snow, the lightning’s flash, the
inazuma.
Even under the control and influence of his dark self that was Lord Sentaro, Master Dai-wu was trying to warn me. Alas, I was too thick to understand what he was saying.”

Prince Kanemore thought about that for several long moments. I think Master Dai-wu was the calmest of us all during that time.

“I was ready to take a head, you know,” Kanemore said finally. “After my sister’s death, and all my worry and fear for Prince Takahito. All this time forced to do little but wait. I was looking forward to it.”

“You still can do so. You have the right,” I said. “If you want to risk the sight of Kwannon the Merciful herself descending with all the gods of the heavens in attendance to take this now blameless man’s soul to the Mountain of the Blest. Personally, I would not invite that particular embarrassment.”

Kanemore sighed. “Lord Yamada, sometimes it is wretchedly inconvenient being your friend.”

The next day we were preparing to return to the city when Nidai came to me and bowed low. “Thank you for sparing Lady Snow’s life.”

I grunted. “I do not think she is as grateful as you are. What will you do now?”

“I do not know. Prince Kanemore has offered to take me into his service. Yet . . . ”

“I know. Whatever she may be: nun,
asobi,
or Lady of the Court, you do not wish to leave Lady Snow. Understand this, Nidai-kun—she is leaving
you.
Where she is going now, you cannot follow. You may visit from time to time. If you continue your education as Prince Kanemore will arrange, and if Lady Snow would approve, then you may learn to write letters to her with proper poems included. I think you should. I think she would like that. But that is all you can do. I think you will serve her best now by doing well and not disgracing her instruction.”

He smiled. “Yet now I must serve her in at least one more matter—she wishes to see you before you leave, Lord Yamada,” he said. “Will you come?”

I thought about it. “I do not think I should. But I will.”

Nidai led me to the main hall and then withdrew. I found the woman I had known as Lady Snow kneeling in prayer there in the plain garb of a nun. She turned as she heard me approach and lowered the hood of her robe.

“I really was an
asobi,
for a time,” she said. “I had the skills, and I did not mind the duties. Yet there was too much chance of meeting someone I knew or who knew me. I thought I would be safe under the veil, even so near as Enryaku-ji. Foolish, wasn’t it?”

“You wished to see me?” I said.

Her smile was hesitant, like a flower uncertain of its blossom. “No, but I did not think I could let you go without an apology. Though any apology seems inadequate considering what I tried to do to you . . . and for what I succeeded in doing.”

“You told me the truth, believing it was a lie. Now you know that truth, and I know my father’s honor was falsely taken yet can never be restored. I think it’s fair to say Lord Sentaro has had a measure of revenge on us both.”

“And what of your revenge on me, Lord Yamada? I behaved foolishly. First I broke my vows with you, and then I betrayed you. I thought my reasons were good, that I understood what I was doing . . . clearly, this was not the case. Why did you let me live?”

“Because once I had a dream of a young girl who died too soon. She offered me tea and then asked me to be kind to her sister, who was in pain. As there was little else I could do for her, I did not want to refuse.”

She did not look at me. “And that is the only reason?” she asked.

It wasn’t and I think she knew it, but nothing would or could be said of that now. “It is reason enough. I took your ignorance, as I said I would. I have no need of your life, Lady Snow, but I think you might still have some use for it.”

The tears had returned to her eyes. “Why?”

“So that you can still have what you say you wanted. A choice.” I nodded at her shaved head. “Does this mean you’ve made that choice?”

She smiled a wan smile. “As you said, ‘choices have consequences.’ I have made too many bad ones. I must pray for my poor sister for as long as I can, as well as for Kiyoshi. I have failed them both, and yet I must try to live so I may yet atone for what I have done. I do not know if I have the strength.”

“Then I think you’ve chosen more wisely now than you have in the past. May you find that strength, Lady Snow. And if you have any left over . . . ”

“Yes?”

Distracted by a sudden memory, I did not answer right away.

Death is easy, Lord Yamada. What comes after is the difficult part.

Seita’s words came back to me and for a moment I was once more staring into Hell. I looked away.

“I once had a rather unusual associate. His name was Seita, and he sacrificed a great deal on my behalf. If you have any reason to think well of me in the years to come, please pray for him as well.”

I wanted to add “pray for me, too” but I think Lady Snow had more than enough of a burden to carry as things were. We left Kenji and Nidai behind to see that Master Dai-wu and Lady Snow were cared for until they were strong enough to decide for themselves what paths to take. Perhaps Lady Hoshiko would come to terms with herself. Perhaps Master Dai-wu would become, arguably, the greatest caretaker Enryaku-ji had ever known; or perhaps one or both of them would still choose suicide. I did not know.

I tried not to care.

Nidai had a place with Prince Kanemore, if he chose to take it. I rather thought he would, though for a while and perhaps for the rest of his life part of his mind and heart would be at Enryaku-ji.

For my part, as soon as we returned to the city I took my leave of Prince Kanemore and returned to my rooms at the Widow Tamahara’s. From there I went directly to the wine shop in the front, and I proceeded to drink; one jar after another, just as in times past. The Widow Tamahara approached me at one point and I simply smiled.

“The rent, Tamahara-san. I have not forgotten. Soon, I promise.”

But not that night, nor for many others after it. For a time I tried to forget everything: Princess Teiko, Lady Snow, Lord Sentaro, Hell. When that didn’t work, I used the drink instead to help convince myself that all the things I desperately needed to believe were actually true.

I tried to believe Princess Teiko had been right to do as she did, that Prince Kanemore and myself had fought in a righteous cause and helped her accomplish a fine thing, a noble thing, and history would prove it so. First, in the continued decline of the power and influence of the Fujiwara, and second in the glory to come in the reign of Crown Prince Takahito, one day to be known to generations now unborn as his Imperial Majesty, Sanjo II.

My son.

asobi:
A female entertainer, often also a courtesan.

baka:
A general insult. Usually translated as “idiot,” but with connotations of being uncouth and wild, like an animal.

eejean:
Literally, “beautiful person,” usually applied to a female.

boshi:
A hat.

bushi:
A warrior. Later this would refer to
samurai
specifically.

emishi:
An indigenous people usually identified with the modern Ainu.

gaijin:
Literally “outside person,” a foreigner.

Genji Monogatari: The Tale of Genji.
Written by a court lady in the tenth century. Widely considered to be the first novel.

geta:
A type of wooden sandal.

gigaku:
A type of dance/drama performance, believed to have been imported from Korea in the seventh century, but now extinct.

hakama:
Loose-fitting trousers.

hashi:
Chopsticks.

-hime:
Honorific for a high-ranking female, usually a princess.

hojo:
The abbot or chief priest of a Buddhist temple.

ikiryo:
A “living ghost,” essentially an aspect of an individual that detaches itself from that person to attack a romantic rival or enemy. Mentioned in
The Tale of Genji
by Murasaki Shikibu.

inazuma:
A flash of lightning.

junihitoe:
Literally, “twelve-layer robe.” A formal style of clothing worn by ladies of the court.

kami:
A divine spirit, roughly equivalent to a god.

kami-no-ku:
The “upper phrase,” or first three lines, of a
tanka.

kampai:
Equivalent to “cheers!” before a drink.

kana:
A native script for informal use, as opposed to the more formal Chinese
kanji.

kanji:
Chinese logographic characters, used for formal documents in the Heian period.

kesa:
A priest’s mantle.

kimono:
Literally “wear thing.” Clothes.

koi:
A type of carp prized for their beautiful coloring.

koto:
A traditional Japanese stringed instrument, similar to the Chinese
zheng.

matsu:
Refers both to a type of cup and the wood used to make it, the pine tree.

miso:
Fermented soybeans.

mon:
A family crest or symbol.

neko-rei:
Literally, “cat ghost.”

ohayo:
Informal, “good morning.” A greeting.

oneesama:
Formal, one’s elder sister.

oni:
A specific type of dangerous monster, equivalent to the Western ogre.

onibi:
Ghost lights. Small will-o’-wisp-type flames that signify the presence of ghosts.

rei:
Ghost/spirit.

sakura:
Cherry blossom.

-sama:
Honorific, usually reserved for someone of high social status.

samurai:
The warrior class of Japan. It became dominant after the Heian period.

-san:
Honorific, showing respect to the person addressed.

shide:
A paper streamer used in Shinto rituals. It can also refer to a priest.

shikigami:
Artificial creatures created by magic to do the magician’s will.

shimo-no-ku:
The “lower phrase,” or last two lines of a
tanka.

shoji:
A screen made of wooden lattice covered with rice paper.

sugi:
Cryptomeria, a kind of evergreen tree.

tachi:
A long, thin sword originally designed for use on horseback.

tanka:
Classic Japanese poetic form of thirty-one syllables. A longer version of what eventually became the
haiku.

tengu:
A goblin, often depicted with a long nose or beak and crow’s wings.

yin-yang:
A philosophy rooted in both the balance between and interconnectedness of all things: light/dark, male/female, life/death, etc. Probably derived from Daoism via China.

youkai:
Generic term for a monster, or pretty much any supernatural creature.

yukata:
A lightweight summer
kimono.

As I Crossed a Bridge of Dreams: Recollections of a Woman in 11th Century Japan,
translated by Sarashina and Ivan Morris (Penguin Classics, 1989).