Yesterday's Tomorrows (28 page)

“
A
re you ready
?”

We sat outside of the Barnes’s huge two-story house. Francine Barnes was a vivacious, outgoing woman who loved to entertain, and certainly had the house for it. I was pretty sure what she longed for was to fill it with children or grandchildren, but they’d only had one son who’d married and moved to California. So, I could see why they’d invited Charly and Lily to move in with them as well as Misty.

Maddy looked back at me with troubled eyes. “This feels so weird, you know? Meeting family you never even knew you had? Coming to terms with Charly being gone forever after learning she’s been so close in all this time? And how do I take a child who’s grown up with all of this away from it? What do I have to offer Lily?”

I squeezed her hand. “I don’t know all the answers, sweetheart, but I do know what you have to give her is yourself and the gift of knowing her mother. From what we know, Charly wanted you in Lily’s life. Maybe you’ll find some answers inside. Nothing has to be decided today. We’re just here to meet your niece. And I’m here for you, for whatever you need.”

I knew this was incredibly hard for her. I’d held her most of yesterday while she cried or watched her pace as she came to terms with everything that went down at the courthouse and subsequent news. I’d deliberately not taken any pain pills this morning so I could drive her here and support her. It hurt, but she needed me so I would bear it for her.

“Thank you, Holt,” she whispered, her chin wobbling just a little. She drew in a deep breath and seemed to regain control. “Have I told you how much I love you or thanked you for being here with me today?”

“Nowhere else I’d rather be than by your side, baby, no matter where it leads us.”

To my surprise, her eyes grew troubled, but she offered me a tremulous smile. “Okay. Let’s go.”

We got out of my truck, and I moved so she was on my right side so I could hold her hand as we walked up the long sidewalk to the front door. The door swung open as we reached the first step. Francine stood there with a welcoming smile.

“Holten, how lovely to see you again, dear. And you must be Madelyn.” She wrapped Maddy in a warm hug. Maddy raised confused eyes to me. My poor girl; she still wasn’t used to the idea that people could be so kind and welcoming to strangers, especially those who knew anything about her past. “I’m so sad we’re meeting under these conditions. Please know you have our sincerest condolences. I know this has come as a great shock to you. Charly spoke about her sister often, so I’m afraid we have an unfair advantage. Despite the circumstances, Lily has been excited to meet you.”

“Thank you for having us over,” Maddy said. “This is a little awkward, to be honest.”

“I understand, dear. But be assured, we’re here to support you.”

“Yes, we are,” Victor Barnes stepped into the foyer where we were now standing. He nodded at me. “Maddy, I can’t say how sorry I am about your sister. I’d no idea when we hired you about your relationship with Charly. At first I was a little disturbed when Misty finally came clean about all the details. But now I really see it as someone who was desperately trying to look out for someone she loved in the only way she knew how.”

“Sometimes I’m not sure I even know who Charly was,” Maddy said sadly. “But despite everything that happened between us, she was my sister, and I never want her daughter to not know about her mother and how much Charly loved her. That’s the most important thing to me.”

I squeezed her hand. “She will. You’ll make sure of it.”

Footsteps sounded in the hallway and all of us turned as Misty appeared with a young girl clinging to her hand. Her hair was darker than Maddy’s and hung in a braid down her back, but the wisps over her forehead suggested she had some of the same curls as her aunt. Eyes that were the same shape and color as Maddy’s grew big as she took in all of the adults standing in her home. She was dressed cutely in a pair of dark jeans and pink sweater and held a stuffed horse under one arm. Misty whispered in her ear and stepped back. Lily remained motionless.

“Oh, my,” breathed Maddy. She let go of my hand and took the few steps to reach them. She knelt on the floor a couple steps away. “Hi Lily,” she greeted the little girl softly. “I’m Madelyn, but most of my friends call me Maddy.”

“You’re my Auntie Maddy,” she said shyly.

Maddy nodded slowly. “I am.”

Lily took a step toward her. “Mommy told me that you were very brave and that you’d done something very, very hard and that you had to go away to rest for awhile, but someday you’d be back to meet me.”

I saw Maddy swallow hard. Charly had managed to tell her daughter a truth without the details, so that Maddy could remain untouched from the bad things that had happened to her, at least in her niece’s eyes.

“Well, your mommy was right. But I’m fine now, and I’m back for good. I saw her for the first time in a long time a couple days ago, and she couldn’t wait for us to meet. She loved you very, very much.” Her voice cracked ever so slightly, but she somehow managed to smile at her niece.

Lily’s eyes filled with tears. “Granny Fran says Mommy isn’t coming back because she died and went to heaven.”

Fran covered a sob with her hand and curled into her husband’s embrace. I found myself having to clear my throat and even Vic was blinking more than normal.

Somehow, Maddy managed to keep her composure. “That’s true, sweetie. But I promise I’ll be here for you.”

Lily’s chin trembled. Maddy opened her arms and Lily went flying into them. “Oh, sweet girl,” Maddy crooned softly as she leaned her head against Lily’s. She rubbed her back and kissed the top of her head over and over until Lily grew calmer and lifted her head. Maddy cradled Lily’s head in her hands. “I know everything feels kind of crazy right now, but I promise we’re going to figure everything out. You don’t need to worry about anything, okay?”

Lily looked back at her and nodded.

“What do you say we get to know each other a little better, hmm? Why, I don’t even know any of your favorites, and I need to know those for my next all-girl party that you’ll come to, right? I mean, I’d really hate to serve chocolate ice cream only to find out you’d rather have lima beans or something.” Lily giggled and all the adults seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. “Wait,” Maddy continued, “you don’t have a boyfriend, yet, do you? Cause no boys allowed during girl time.”

Lily turned up her nose. “Boys are yucky. Do you want to see my room?” she asked shyly.

“Duh! Of course I do!” Maddy grinned at her, and off they went, holding hands. Maddy threw a happy grin over her shoulder at me. I was so proud of her. It was a difficult situation, but I knew it would all work out.

By the time we left, Maddy had turned into a magpie, talking non-stop about how beautiful, how smart, how
everything
Lily was. I listened in amusement until Maddy finally ran out of words. I didn’t disagree with anything she said, there just wasn’t a lot of room to insert a comment outside of ‘mmmhmm’ and ‘you’re right’; Lily really was a sweetheart and a credit to the young woman who’d turned her life around after Maddy’s sacrifice had given her a new chance.

The only time Maddy stopped smiling was when she pulled out an envelope after we got home. I recognized the handwriting immediately.

“Do you want some privacy?” I asked.

Her face grew grim as she looked at me. “Holt, I know you had to overlook a lot of my flaws to become part of my life. You’ve stood by me, taken me in, and loved me. You’ve given me more than anyone in my entire life has.” Her gaze dropped to the floor, and my heart skipped a beat, sensing I wasn’t going to like what she said next.

“I know the past few days have been crazy, and my life is getting ready to take another major change if I take custody of Lily, if I’m even allowed.” She shook her head sadly. “I don’t know what this letter is going to say, if it will make things possibly even worse. I want you to know, I won’t blame you if this is too much for you.” I tried to interrupt, to stop her from thinking too much about the situation, but she kept on going. “You’ve already been hurt because of me, because of the drama that I’m involved in, even if I didn’t want to be. Now it would be asking you to take on another person. I don’t want to lose you, but I also know I can’t lose Lily.”

I took the envelope out of her hands and tugged on her hands until she stood in front of me. “Are you done yet?”

She stared miserably at me. “I don’t know. I want to list all the reasons to convince you to stay, but I don’t want to pressure you. I’m a lot to take on.”

“Then how about you let me list the reasons for you?”

She didn’t say anything, so I continued. “Madelyn, you came into my life when I was least expecting it, in the least expected way. At first, I resented that John made me give up half a day’s work to send me to meet you. I had better things to do, more work to get done. Now he’s one of two people I owe a debt I can never repay. From the very beginning, I knew you were different. I had my life all mapped out and organized. I thought I knew who I was and what my role in life was. And then you showed up and veered me off course. You didn’t fit into any of my nice little compartments I had for women. You blew the boundaries up. And now I get what makes you so special. I don’t want to
fit
you into my life. You
are
my life. You’re everywhere and everything to me.”

She gave me a watery smile and mouthed, “I love you, too.”

“You said once you weren’t like Claire,” I continued. “That’s a good thing, sweetheart. I’m not looking for a replacement for her. I’ll always love her in some way, but
you’re
my life now. I didn’t bury my heart five years ago. It just took that long to find the right person to make it beat again. You set my heart free.” I glanced at the letter. “So no matter what that holds, I’m not going anywhere. I love you, Madelyn Grace Stone. I think you should move in with me permanently. Let’s create a home together. And then, when the time is right, Lily can come live with us.”

Those green and brown eyes gazed at me in wonder, and in them I could see all the worry and doubt fade as love rushed in to replace them. “You would be willing to take on Lily, too? Even though she’s not yours? Or mine?”

“I told you once, Madelyn,
all
children should be celebrated. I’ll fill whatever role is needed in her life. She’s a delightful little girl. And whether she’s a part of me or not doesn’t matter. Nothing in that envelope changes that, okay?”

She shook her head while tears spilled down her cheeks. “Holten Andrews, you are absolutely the most amazing man.”

I squeezed her tight. “What, no funny grannyism for this moment?” I teased.

She nodded. “How about, ‘I love you?’ Seems the most appropriate. Sometimes something simple says it all, and I do, Holt. I love you more than I ever knew was possible.”

That was one expression I understood without explanation, and it was one I was going to repeat to her every day for the rest of our lives.

D
earest Maddy
,

T
his is
the most difficult letter I’ve ever written. They are the words I should have said to you so long ago, words I should be saying in person. But I’m not sure when or if I’ll ever have that opportunity. I don’t know if you’ll ever talk to me again, and of course, I can’t blame you for feeling that way.

I love you, Maddy. I always have. We both know life was hard for us growing up. While you worked hard to make the best of it, I used it as an excuse for bad decisions. Once dad left, I did feel resentment toward you. Not only had I lost a mother when you were born, but I lost my dad, too. I’m not proud of that. It wasn’t your fault. Dad was weak, but in my mind it was love that made him that way. I decided then and there that I’d never love anybody. In some twisted way, I thought it would save me from being hurt. Shows what I know.

At first, I was excited for you when you earned the scholarship Paul Regis dangled in front of you. You deserved it. But I wanted my own meal ticket and since I didn’t have your book smarts, I used what I did have - my looks and my body. I seduced Paul. It wasn’t hard. He told me he and his wife were separated and had filed for divorce. He swore he loved me, and he promised he was going to take me away and we’d get married.

He convinced me we should set up a bank account that wasn’t directly in his name or social security number so that his wife wouldn’t be able to claim it in the divorce settlement. He suggested we use your information; that way he could make sure your scholarship money was immediately accessible for whatever you needed. So that’s what we did. It sounds so naïve, so dumb writing this now. I didn’t understand how scholarships worked, and Paul made sure we had the right paperwork to do things in your name. I don’t know if he forged your name or included it in so much of the ‘scholarship paperwork’ he made you sign.

One day, he left his phone while he went to the bathroom. A text came through, and so I read it. It turned out it was from his wife, asking him to bring some milk home for their girls. I knew then everything he’d told me had been a lie. I started doing some sneaking around. I called his work and asked about the scholarship. They’d never heard of it. I played up the dumb, doting girlfriend, trying to figure out what he was really up to. He always seemed to be taking calls about work, always talking about some kind of trees from Russia and Mongolia. I never quite figured it out, but I suspect he was embezzling money from work and was using you to hide it.

And then I found out I was pregnant. I honestly wasn’t sure if it was his baby, but he was the most financially stable of any of the possibilities. I thought it would be the ticket to make him finally leave his wife. But when I told him, he laughed at me and said he didn’t want another brat, especially one from a whore of a mom. He wanted me to ‘get rid of it.’ Maddy, I couldn’t do it. I knew what it was like to be a child to grow up without a mother. I wasn’t going to also be the woman who lived without her child. So I refused. I told him he could use the money in our account to support the baby and me. He grabbed me and said if I wouldn’t take care of it he would, that he’d beat it out of me. I cried, I begged, and I pleaded. He didn’t listen, so I told him I knew he hadn’t left his wife, and wouldn’t she like to know about the money he was hiding from her.

He got so mad. He tied my hands, and I was so scared, Maddy. He told me not only would he get rid of the kid, but he’d make sure I couldn’t run my mouth. He was mumbling something about how they’d kill him if they knew what he’d done that no one could know about that account. He laughed about how easily he’d been able to use the Stone sisters to get everything he wanted. He threw me on the bed and smacked my face and even hit me in the stomach. I’ve never been so scared.

That’s when you walked in, Maddy. You know the rest of what happened. What you didn’t know was that you saved two lives that day. I honestly thought you wouldn’t go to jail. I thought they’d look at your record and know what a good and honest person you were. I didn’t know that Paul’s wife knew about the affair the whole time and that she’d be able to paint
you
as her husband’s lover. My only thought was to hide and protect my baby from whatever mess Paul had gotten himself into. I was afraid whoever ‘they’ were would come after me. So I had my and Paul’s name removed from the account and left it in just yours. I’d hoped that no one would ever think to look for the money if it was just in your name. However, I still had access to it if I forged your name on checks or the debit card we had. I’m so sorry, Maddy. I was trying to find a way out of it. But sometimes I fell on hard times, and I thought Paul owed me that money anyway, so I spent some of it when I needed to.

By now you’ve figured out you’re an aunt. I had a baby girl the following April. I named her Lilian Grace, for mom and you. I call her Lily. I fell immediately in love, and knew I needed to be the best mom I could be, which meant straightening up my life and making amends. By then you were in prison, and I didn’t know how to get you out. I should have come forward, but I was so afraid they’d take Lily from me. I even convinced myself that maybe you were safer in jail, that no one from Paul could get to you. You weren’t answering my letters. Not that I could blame you. As I look back over this long letter, I wonder if you’ve made it this far in reading it or if you saw my handwriting and threw it out. But I won’t stop trying, Maddy. One day, I’ll figure out how to get out of this mess. I’ll never be able to make it up to you, but I owe you my life and the life of the one thing that means more to me than anything, and some day, I hope you’ll find that person who makes you happier than anything. I want you to meet Lily. I know you’ll love her. I tell her all the time about my sister who protected her and is a hero. I want her to grow up like you.

I guess you’re wondering why I’m putting all this in writing. I don’t know how to explain it. I have a bad feeling the people Paul knew have figured out the money is in your name. I can’t put you in danger, so I’ve decided to go to the police and tell them everything. I can’t hide anymore. I’ve been afraid I’d go to jail myself for identity theft, and then Lily wouldn’t have family left. But now you’re free. Maybe, if you can find it in your heart to love a little girl who is innocent in the entire matter, she can still have family if something happens to me.

I
do
love you, Maddy.

Charly