Ynyr (Tornians Book 3) (14 page)

“Problem?” Ynyr demanded frowning down at her. He did not like how dim her eyes had become.

“Learning, the way other people do. I had a lot of trouble when I first went to school… I would pay attention and listen to the teacher, really listen and I would try so hard… but I just didn’t get it. Everyone said I was stupid, that it was to be expected…” Closing her eyes, Abby wrapped her arms around her waist, trying to ward off that old hurt and shame.

She hated thinking back to those days, back to the taunts and looks she would receive from children and adults alike. If it hadn’t been for her parents surrounding her with their love and acceptance she knew she would never have survived that time but she was on her own now.

Just as that thought crossed her mind Ynyr’s arms enfolded her with his strength, his warmth and his acceptance, reminding her she wasn’t alone.
He
was there with her.

It drove away all those old feelings of not fitting in, of being looked at as an oddity and she realized she was no longer that scared little girl. Thanks to her parents. Thanks to Ynyr. She was now Lady Abby of Etruria.

“It took a while,” turning into Ynyr’s arms, she laid her head against his chest, letting the beat of his heart calm her so she could continue. “But thanks to my mom and Mrs. Wheeler, my Brownie troop leader, we discovered that it wasn’t that I
couldn’t
learn, it was that I learned things
differently
than other kids did.”

“Brownie? What?” Ynyr frowned at the word.

“It’s a group… an organization for young females, usually led by some of the mothers. We would learn different things, different skills. One time we went hiking in the mountains, but couldn’t find our way back. Mrs. Wheeler had lost the map and there was a thunderstorm coming in.”

“Thunderstorm?” Ynyr asked?

“Wait you don’t call them that… what is the word…” Abby frowned as she thought then smiled brightly up at Ynyr. “Tempest. You call them a tempest.” Abby saw Ynyr finally understood. “So a tempest was coming in and everyone was starting to panic not knowing which way to go.”

“Who found you?” Ynyr asked, feeling his anger grow at the thought of her being unprotected during a tempest.

“No one. I led us out of the mountains.”

“What?!!” Ynyr couldn’t hide his shock. How could his Abby, such a tiny female, been able to find her way out of the mountains at such a young age.

Abby wasn’t sure if she should be amused or insulted by the disbelief in Ynyr’s voice. She knew she was short, even by Earth standards, but she wasn’t weak or defenseless, not anymore. Deciding to give Ynyr a break and to believe he was not intentionally trying to be insulting she explained.

“Before we went on our hike we went through the welcome center of the park. They showed us a 3-D model of the park… it wasn’t anything like that.” She gestured to the holograph that was still up behind them. “But because of it, I was able to lead everyone down the mountain.”

Ynyr and Korin just looked at her in shock.
She
had led a group of females out of the mountains? Why had no males been with them? Neither male understood this.

“Earth is different than Tornian.” Abby somehow knew what they were thinking.

“You should not have been allowed to go. You should have been protected!” Korin found he could no longer remain silent

“If I had been, I would not be here today.” Abby informed him gently.

“What do you mean my Abby?” Her quiet statement cooled Ynyr’s growing anger.

“It was on that day that my mom and Mrs. Wheeler realized that I needed to
see
to understand. You can’t just ‘tell’ me something and expect me to understand or obey. My dad liked to say it was just because I never liked being ‘told’ what to do.” Abby’s eyes filled at the memory of her dad’s gentle teasing. He had always known just what to say and do when she got frustrated with her ‘handicap’ as others called it, whenever it happened, he would bring her a bowl of her favorite praline ice cream and hug her, telling her he loved and believed in her. God, she missed him. “Others didn’t see it that way. They thought I should be ‘removed’ from the school system because I didn’t ‘fit’ in.”

“They were wrong, Abby.” The deep rumble of Ynyr’s voice brought Abby out of her memories and drove away her tears.

“Yeah, they were. It was what made me want to become a teacher. I wanted to be there to help kids like me, the ones everyone else had given up on.” She looked up and gave him a wobbly smile. “Anyway, it seems like I have the same problem with your ‘educators’. They forced all the information into my brain, but most of it didn’t take. I’m just grateful the language part did.”

“As am I Abby.” Ynyr told her framing her beautiful face with his large calloused hands. His Abby was truly a special female. “For I cannot imagine what would have happened if I had not been able to speak to you.” Leaning down Ynyr captured her lips for a hard kiss. “I will help you my Abby. I will answer any question you have so you can understand my world. My vow.”

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

It was some time later, after she had finally convinced Ynyr that she would be fine on her own in the ‘Lady’s’ chamber as she had decided to call it and that he and Korin could return to the front chamber, that she remembered what Korin had said earlier. Putting down the heavy statue she had been inspecting she moved towards the door.

Warriors that had been sent from every House in the Empire were sitting in the hold of the Ascension. These warriors were going to help them secure and build their new House, yet they were being ignored as if they didn’t matter. Well, Abby would take care of that.

Sliding open the door, she stepped into the narrow hallway and bumped into a small male, well small by Tornian standards, who had been moving towards the front section of the Ascension.

“Oh!” Abby gave a startled gasp and stumbled back. She would have fallen if two strong hands hadn’t grabbed her.

“My Lady!” The male immediately released her then dropped to a knee, quivering as he bowed his head. “Forgive me!”

“Paganus!” Ynyr roared, his hand gripping the hilt of his sword as he charged down the hall, Korin followed close behind. “What have you done?!!”

“I…”

“He has done nothing Ynyr.” Abby said in a firm but gentle voice, as she steadied herself. “
I
ran into
him
! Paganus stopped me from falling. Please Paganus, rise.” Abby asked of the still kneeling male. Then Abby did something no Tornian female would ever consider doing. She reached out to help Paganus up.

Paganus immediately shrunk away from her, pressing himself flat against the wall as if her touch were lethal.

Ynyr frowned at Paganus’ extreme reaction. While it was true no male was allowed to touch a female he was not Joined with, Paganus was taking it to the extreme. Ynyr needed to know why. “Explain yourself Paganus,” he ordered.

“My Lord, it was unintentional! My vow! I would never think of touching something that belonged to you! Please my Lord, do not end my life!” By the time Paganus was finished the male was shaking.

Ynyr could only stare at Paganus in shock. Why would Paganus think he would end his life for such a minor offense? One that actually protected his Lady. Ynyr looked to Korin for an explanation.

“It is what Risa demanded if she were ever touched without her permission.”

“What!” Abby gasped, looking from Korin to Paganus whose head was still bowed in submission. “That is ridiculous!”

“It is the reason Bertos demanded she remain in her room,” Korin gestured behind Abby, “when we were traveling. There are times when we might encounter sudden turbulence during our flights and Bertos did not want to have to end one of his Captains because they bumped into Risa.”

“He would really end a male for such a thing?” Ynyr demanded.

“Yes, my Lord. Risa demanded it for the insult of being touched by a male she had not deemed worthy.”

“What males did she consider worthy?” Abby found herself asking.

“Only Bertos was allowed to touch her my Lady.” Korin paused, wondering if he should speak. He might not be believed, but he suddenly realized it was time to tell his truth if he were to ever regain his honor. “I believe there were times she would intentionally fall into a male, just so she could watch him die.” He told Abby and waited for her to not believe him.

“Goddess, she truly was an evil bitch.” Abby whispered in horror.

“Yes, my Lady, she was.” Korin bowed his head in agreement.

“Well, that will never occur in our House.” Abby turned to Ynyr. “Will it Ynyr.”

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

Paganus raised his head slightly as Korin spoke, looking through his lashes at Etruria’s new Lord and Lady. Rumors had been running rampant since yesterday’s meeting of the Assembly of Lords. Most had believed that the Emperor would appoint a warrior from his own House to the Etruria Region, thus ensuring that Lord’s loyalty to him. Instead the Emperor had chosen a Warrior from House Rigel. A House that many looked down upon because its Lord, Lord Oryon, refused to force his Lady to leave him, to give her gift of offspring to another male, securing that male’s bloodline, even after she presented him with two fit males. He now had four males, more than any male had ever had since the great infection had struck. Yet it was from one of those males, that the Emperor had made his choice. Lord Oryon’s
third
male would be Etruria’s new Lord. Why? Then, as if that hadn’t been enough, this Earth female had chosen the new Lord to Join with… again why?

Females only chose the fittest, the most worthy of males to Join with. Those from the strongest, most secure Houses so that they would be protected and provided for. As a new Lord, Ynyr could provide her with none of these things.

Lady Risa had used her influence over Lord Bertos to make the lives of every male in Etruria miserable. Korin was correct that she would sometimes trick a male into touching her just so she could have his life ended. It was why so many avoided her.

Yet this female was stating that she was not going to have his life ended for running into her, for stopping her from falling. She seemed honestly horrified that Lady Risa would demand such a thing. Would Lord Ynyr feel the same way?

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

“No my Abby, it will not be.” Ynyr gave her a reassuring look before turning his gaze to Paganus. “Rise Paganus.” Ynyr ordered then waited until he did before continuing. “But that does not mean you or another male may touch my Lady whenever you wish.” His tone was hard and cold.

“Of course not my Lord.” Paganus immediately replied.

“You will make sure this is known Paganus.” Ynyr ordered.

“Yes, my Lord.” Paganus nodded his head, wondering why his Lord was assigning him with this task.

“Good.” Nodding Ynyr’s gaze returned to Abby. “What were you needing Abby.”

“What?” Abby gave him a confused look for a moment, then remembered why she had left the Lady’s Chamber. “The Warriors that are with us. Has anyone seen to their needs?”

“Their needs?” Ynyr asked.

“Yes. I mean, you said it would be at least an eight hour flight to Etruria. They are going to need something to eat and drink during that time. I was just coming out to make sure it had been taken care of.” When silence greeted her statement Abby frowned. “What?”

“You are worried about a warriors… wellbeing?” Ynyr carefully asked.

“Of course I am.” Abby frowned, not understanding why he was even asking her that. “Those warriors are here to assist us. They are risking themselves in the process. The least we can do to repay them is to make sure they are fed and cared for.” Abby saw the disbelief the three sets of eyes staring at her. “What?!!” She barely stopped herself from stomping her foot.

“They are just Warriors my Lady.” Korin finally spoke, frowning at her. “They do not need or expect… kindness from a female.”

“You speak of them as if their lives did not matter Korin! As if they were unimportant!” Abby felt her anger start to build. “
No one
is unimportant!” She let her eyes travel from Korin to Paganus making sure she had their attention. “Everyone matters! I don’t consider it a
kindness
to make sure that someone is fed. It is common decency. Something that seems to have been lacking in Etruria under Bertos and Risa’s rule. It will not be under House Rigel of Etruria’s rule. Now I want food and drink taken to those warriors! Is that understood?” When no one moved, she did stomp her foot. “Now!”

“Yes, my Lady.” Both Korin and Paganus replied, forgetting to ask Ynyr for permission, they rushed to do her bidding.

Ynyr frowned as he read the report Korin had compiled for him about Bertos’ remaining Warriors. While he had listed each male’s known strengths and weaknesses from their files, he had also included notes of his own personal observations of them. Explaining how each male had flourished or been restricted under Bertos rule.

Hearing Abby’s soft voice take on an irritated tone he looked over and saw she was trying to speak to Paganus but Paganus just kept shaking his head, his mouth firmly shut.

“What is the problem Abby?” Ynyr asked.

“I can’t get Paganus to talk to me.” Abby said, giving him a frustrated look.

“Tell me what you need him to do and I will make sure he does.” Rising Ynyr moved to her side.

“That is totally not going to work Ynyr. I need to be able to communicate directly with our males. You are going to be busy every minute of every day, cleaning up the mess Bertos left behind. You can’t do that and still intervene every time I need to speak to someone.”

“I have told you that males will see that as an indication that you wish to Join with them.” Ynyr growled angrily at the thought of another male thinking that.

“Well, I don’t.” Reaching up, she caressed his cheek, hoping to calm him. Somehow she knew he wasn’t angry at her. “
You
are the only male I want to Join with Ynyr and the sooner they all realize that the better it will be for everyone.” Her soft eyes were steady as she looked up at him. “It has to start somewhere Ynyr and I say it starts right here, right now, with Paganus.” Turning, she looked at the shocked male.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

The head that Paganus had bowed when his Lord had approached now snapped up at his new Lady’s words and found himself under the scrutiny of two sets of eyes. What was going on? Why was the female singling him out like this? Was it because he had bumped into her? He hadn’t meant to. He had caught her before she had fallen. She had said there would be no retribution for it, but she could have been lying. Females lied all the time. Look at Risa.

He had done as she had demanded and made sure the Warriors were seen too, but he had refused to speak to her directly. Would she now have him ended for
not
speaking to her?

“I… what?” He looked to Ynyr for guidance.

“Why Paganus?” Ynyr asked Abby in a voice that while firm was still gentle, the eyes that looked at Paganus were not.

“Because he is here and we have to start somewhere.” Abby’s looked back to Ynyr. “And he has already proven he is a worthy male.”

“What?” Paganus whispered, not understanding. He had done nothing to prove himself to this female.

“What do you believe he has done that proves that my Abby?”

“He stopped me from falling and being hurt, even though he knew his life would have been ended if I had been like Risa. He did what he knew was right, in spite of the consequences for himself, just as Korin did for Lisa. That is the true trait of a fit and worthy male.”

“He is a servant Abby. Not a Warrior.”

“So? Where is it written that only Warriors can be fit and worthy males? Luuken wasn’t. Bertos wasn’t. Neither was Reeve or all those that followed them. A male’s
actions
should prove whether he is fit and worthy. Not his title. Not his position and definitely not his chance of birth. All these things are out of his control, but his actions are not.

“You have more than proven this Ynyr, for you are a
third
male that is now a Lord, by the decree of the Emperor himself. It wasn’t handed to you because of your rank or birth. You didn’t plot and connive to become more than you were, the way Bertos did. You were just you. A good, fit and worthy male. It makes me proud to be yours Ynyr. Whether you are a Lord, a Warrior, a servant or just a male, it does not matter to me, I just want
you
.”

“Goddess Abby what did I ever do to deserve you?” Ynyr asked, leaning down to rest his forehead against hers.

“You didn’t have to
do
anything Ynyr. All you had to do was exist and be you. It’s all any male has to do.”

Ynyr found he couldn’t speak. Never in his entire life had he thought to hear himself described like this. Hearing the Emperor describe him in the Assembly of Lords had filled him with great pride. It had negated all the hurtful things said to and about him during his life. But these words, said by his female, out loud and in front of others meant more than the Emperor’s ever would. They humbled him. They filled him with a sense of worthiness and they made him realize that her opinion would always matter more to him than any other.

Knowing she would understand, Ynyr expressed himself the only way he could. He leaned down to capture her lips in a hard, deep kiss.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

Paganus could not believe what he was seeing, let alone hearing. This female couldn’t be speaking truth. A male’s status and position
always
mattered. As did what he could provide her. Yet she had spoken with such… feeling… of the ones she had for Ynyr. Since when did a female have
feelings
for a male? Females used a male, gave him her gift, then left, for someone who would offer more. Yet Paganus found he could not doubt the sincerity in her words or that his new Lord believed her.

Ynyr’s own mother had not left his manno… it was something he had heard Bertos rail against many times, even after Risa had stayed with him.

Paganus had once aspired to be a warrior in House Guttuso, for besides House Luda it was the most important one in the Empire. A ‘training accident’ that Paganus knew had been no ‘accident’ had injured his sword arm and Bertos had refused to allow him to continue in the training program.

Paganus had been devastated, when Bertos had offered him a servant's position in his House, one that had him, seeing to his and Risa’s needs, he had thought he had been given a gift. Instead he found it a curse. To stay in the background and
hear
Bertos but not be able to prevent anything… it tarnished a male’s soul. Yet where could Paganus go if he left? Not that Bertos would have let him, but who would see him worthy of
anything
!

So he had stayed and silently watched Bertos and Risa’s atrocities, just as Korin had, just as they all had.

Now this female spoke of a male being worthy even if he were not a Warrior… could she be believed?

And just
what
were they doing?

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

“It is called kissing.” Korin said quietly from behind Paganus, causing him to spin around not having heard him approach.

“Kissing?”

“Yes, it is something Earth females seem to enjoy, as do the males. Queen Lisa kissed King Grim in front of the entire Assembly and I have seen the Empress kiss the Emperor.”

“And they enjoy it?” Paganus couldn’t hide his astonishment.

“Yes.” Ynyr’s growl had both males’ heads turning to find themselves pinned by his hard gaze, while Abby was cradled gently against his chest. “It is one of the most amazing feelings the Goddess has ever created and a blessing for any male that is allowed to experience it.”

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

Abby pressed her flushed face into Ynyr’s chest. She couldn’t believe she had let herself get distracted like that. She had never been a PDA person. She had never let Lance give her anything but a quick kiss on the lips or hold her hand when they were in front of others, but with Ynyr, the minute he touched her she forgot about everyone and everything else. Ynyr was all that mattered.

Abby was more comfortable remaining in the shadows, watching and helping when she could, in ways no one would notice. But Lisa had noticed, as had Kim. They had noticed and not allowed her to remain in those shadows. It was a place she could not remain if she wanted to stand at Ynyr’s side. It was time for her to take all that love and faith her parents had given her and show everyone that she was more than worthy of it… and believe it.

She could and would stand at Ynyr’s side. She would help him build the most magnificent House the Tornian Empire had ever seen and she would do it on her terms, not Tornian one. She would touch him when she wanted, kiss him when she wanted and rest with him every night and not apologize or feel embarrassed. And it started now.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

“It is an expression of affection on Earth.” Abby said, lifting her head, but not moving out of Ynyr’s embrace as she looked at the males. “Different kisses mean different things. The way I just kissed Ynyr…” Abby looked up at him. “Is reserved for him and only him, the male I am Joined with. It is an expression of my feelings for him and only he will ever receive that kiss.”

“There are other types of kisses?” Paganus found himself asking.

“Yes.” Abby pulled her gaze from Ynyr. “There are ones that are exchanged between friends, both male and female, between a parent and a child and those between family members.”

Ynyr frowned, thinking he did not like the thought of his Abby kissing another male, no matter the reason.

Abby caught his frown and fought hard not shake her head at him, instead she said, “Do you really think the Empress kisses Destiny the same way she does Wray? That Grim would kiss Carly and Miki the way he would Lisa? They all are an expression of love and affection, but they are different.”

“The way a Warrior might grip the arm of a blood brother as compared to that of a brother in arms.” Ynyr said finally understanding.

“Yes, touch has always been very important on Earth. It… connects us, makes us realize we are not alone, that we matter to someone else.”

Korin and Paganus looked at each other, both thinking the same thing. Tornian males and females only touched during Joinings.

“I know this is not how it is for Tornians now,” Abby continued easily reading the other two male's thoughts, “but it used to be and you will just have to get used to it. Now,” with her gaze and stance firming Abby took the slightest step away from Ynyr establishing that she could stand on her own and continued. “I want you, Paganus, to be my…” she frowned searching for the word, then gave up and used the Earth one. “Assistant. You are going to help me get House Rigel in order.”

“I… what… ME!” Paganus seemed to forget that this had all started because he had refused to speak directly to her.”

“Yes Paganus.
You
. You must have served Bertos well to be here. Normally that wouldn’t be a ringing endorsement for me, but it also means you know who and what to avoid to have survived so long within his House, just as Korin did.” Abby let her eyes travel briefly to Korin before returning to Paganus. “Did Bertos limit your duties to just the Ascension?”

“I…” This time Paganus looked to Ynyr and at his slight nod spoke. “No, my Lady. I was required to perform the same duties within House Guttuso… pardons my Lord… House Rigel.”

“You saw to it that the House was maintained?”

“No, my Lady! Master Heaton is in charge of running the House. I saw to the Lord and Lady’s wing only, making sure they had what they required.”

“As in?”

“Bedding. Coverings, seeing to the cleaning of the Chambers.”

“So even though you were considered a ‘servant’ you had great responsibility.”

“I… yes, my Lady.”

“How long have you been in this position Paganus?” Abby asked.

“Three years my Lady.”

“And the one who had it before you?”

“Aaric, my Lady but he was ended for not having the correct sheets available when Lord Bertos demanded them.”

“What?” Ynyr asked.

“Correct sheets?” Abby questioned.

“Speak Paganus!” Ynyr ordered.

“I… yes, my Lord… Lord… Bertos would only sleep on sheets made of Himroo… black with a special silver thread that ran along its edge. It was difficult to come by and he required them to be changed daily. If he found the slightest flaw in them he had them destroyed.”

“Destroyed!” Ynyr didn’t try to hide his shock.

“Ynyr, I don’t understand.” Abby looked between the males frowning.

“Himroo is a very expensive material Abby. One bolt would cost a Warrior more than a year’s worth of credits to obtain. Females often use it in their coverings, but I have never heard of a male resting on it.”

“Lady Risa also demanded it. It is why Aaric was ended. She used up his supply and when Bertos ordered new sheets there was no material available.”

“Bertos ended him for
that
?” Ynyr couldn’t believe it.

“Yes, my Lord.”

“Yet you were able to find the material?” Ynyr gave him a suspicious look wondering if Paganus had hidden some so he could move into Aaric’s position, it seemed to be the way of things in Bertos House.

“No my Lord, I did not. The ship that was to resupply Etruria finally arrived. It had developed engine problems… it was a day late.”