Yon Ill Wind (2 page)

Read Yon Ill Wind Online

Authors: Piers Anthony

Tags: #Humor, #Fantasy, #Science Fiction, #Young Adult

He reached the thyme plant.  It was a small one, so its effects were limited.  Someone had drawn a circle in the dirt around it, showing the safe limit of approach.  Folk who wanted a leaf of thyme had to use a wooden hook to get it, because the inanimate was not as greatly affected.

That was what Fortune was coming here to do.  Then she would maneuver the leaf into a magic pouch that stifled its ambiance, and take the pouch home to her mother.  Her mother, of course, would know how to handle it safely, mothers were always in need of more thyme.

Nimby ducked down behind a pile of rocks near the plant.  This form was good at ducking, because of the aqua duck component.  He wouldn't be able to see the girl very well from here, but neither would she be able to see him, which was what counted.  Of course, he could use his awareness to see her without eyes, but it was easier just to listen for her approach while he rehearsed his moment of speech.  He wanted the fewest feasible diversions for this practice.

How could he get her to listen without speaking?  Maybe if he made a straight quacking noise, she would think he was a duck, and would pause, unworried.  All he needed was to get the first few words in, warning her just to listen, and then he could run off the whole spiel.  Fortune, with her constant bad luck, had surely learned to react cautiously, so well might listen in silence, for a time, anyway.

His donkey ears twitched.  She was here!  She had approached with her soft step while he pondered.  She was standing at the edge of the thyme plant's limit; his awareness saw her human feminine form.  He had almost missed her.  He had not an instant to waste.

“Quack!  Quack!” he said in his ducky voice.  “Please listen to me without speaking, for I have information of interest to you.  I know of your problem with your talent, and I can help you reverse it, for my own talent is to make a person whatever she wants to be, as long as she is in my company.” So far so good; she had not made a sound.  But he had to get in the rest before his moment ended.  “I am a friend, but I am not human.  I have an ugly form, but I have no wish at all to harm you.  I need the company of a person like you, and I will do my best to make my company worthwhile.  To justify your trust.  But after this, I will not be able to speak again; I will be completely mute.

So you will have to tell me what you desire.  Stay with me, and you can be what you wish to be, as long as we are together.  I wish only to win your friendship.  Please do not be dismayed by my appearance, which is awful.  I am completely harmless to you, for I will suffer without your company.” Had he covered enough?  He couldn't tell her more about himself; he had come as close to the truth as he dared.  But maybe he could offer an explanation for his form, so she wouldn't scream and run away when she saw him.  “I am an enchanted creature, not entirely what I seem.  My fate depends on you.  Now, if you care to look at me, look at the pile of rocks to your right.  I will lift my head and nod, and thereafter be silent.  But you can talk to me, and I will understand, and do what I can for you.

Please trust me.  My name is Nimby.”

He had said enough.  Now it was make-or-break time.

Slowly he raised his head and peered over the rocks.  There she was, and—

It was the wrong girl.

“Oh—a funny donkey!” the girl exclaimed.

And now Nimby was mute, per the contest rule.  He had had a good long moment, longer than expected, and had spoken well.  But how had he come to this mistaken connection?  He extended his awareness out and back, tracing the girl's travel here, and in a moment he had it:  Miss Fortune's bad luck had struck again.  There was a crossing of two paths, just beyond a wide wallflower, and she had collided with another girl.  The two had had their breaths knocked out, and had sat down on opposite sides, gasping.

Then they had gotten up, brushed themselves off, made quick curt apologies to each other though each was sure the other had been at fault, and gone on their ways—down the wrong paths.  Fortune had gone on the other girl's errand, which was to fetch a nice bow from a bow-vine so her mother wouldn't give her a punish-mint.  And the other girl had gone on Fortune's errand, and had been just realizing her error when Nimby had spoken to her.

She was Chlorine, whose talent was poisoning water.

She was plain, stupid, and mean-spirited, in complete contrast to Fortune.  The collision bad been her fault, because she had been rushing along without looking, too fast for path conditions.  Thus she had given Fortune the colossal ill luck to lose her encounter with Nimby, who could have helped her so much, and had given Nimby the worse luck to have wasted his opening monologue on her.  What was he going to do with this wretch of a wench?  Because she was the one he was stuck with.

Chlorine approached him.  “And you can't talk anymore?” She inquired.  “Not even to bray?” She giggled at her own clumsy humor.

She was asking for it.  Nimby stood up, showing his dragon body.

“Oh—you're a weird dragon,” she said.  “Ugliest creature I've ever seen!  Why should I ever want to keep company with you?”

Why, indeed.  Fortune would have had some sympathy, for she was a decent girl.  But Chlorine had a harsh personality, such as there was of it.  And now, casting his awareness back across her life, he discovered something even worse:  she had once had some sensitivity, but it had been beaten out of her by her abusive family.  She had long since cried herself out, and now had only one tear left, and she did not know where that one was.  Even if so moved, she couldn't cry a tear for him.  And she wouldn't be moved, because she had become cynical and heedless of the feelings of others.  Chlorine was simply no prize.

Nimby stared defeat in the snoot.  He could hardly have invoked a worse companion.  All because he had not been paying attention, while a girl known for her ill luck had suffered more of it.  He had come up with the perfect speech—for an undeserving girl.  He had thrown away his chance for victory.  He hung his head in remorse.

“Still,” Chlorine said, “if what you said is true, this could be my lucky day.  I'm going to give you a chance.

But I warn you, if you try to eat me, I'll poison your water, and you'll have one awful bladder infection.” Actually, her language was somewhat more cynically descriptive, the key phrase being “pied pee,” but Nimby wasn't quite current with inferior vernacular.

So she wasn't afraid for her safety.  She could indeed poison any water with a touch, which meant she could kill a creature if she had to.  She couldn't do it to Nimby, because he was a Demon, but of course, he couldn't afford to let her realize that.  And she was what he was stuck with, and the contest had not yet been resolved; maybe he still had an outside chance to win.  So he nodded, showing that he understood her warning.

“Make me beautiful,” she said.

That was easy.  He focused on her, and transformed her various pans.  He made her straggly greenish yellow hair into luxuriant green-tinted golden tresses that curled just enough to be interesting.  He made her yellowish complexion into the fairest skin seen in Xanth.  He shifted the substance of her body so that her egg-timer torso became an hourglass figure.  He formed her thick clodhoppered feet into dainty digits in glassy slippers.  And he adjusted her shapeless dress into an elegant robe that clung to her suddenly firm curves like an artistic lover.  She was now a stunning creature of her kind.

She looked down at herself, appreciating the change.

“Oooo!  Is this real?  I mean, not illusion?  It feels real.”

She pinched her delightful derriere just hard enough to verify its mind-freaking reality.

Nimby nodded, agreeing that it was real.  As long as their association continued.

“I need a mirror,” she said.  “I want to see my face.”

Nimby made one of his scales mirror-shiny and turned it so she could look.  She peered at herself, thrilled.

Then she reconsidered.  “I'm not just dull-looking, I'm dull-thinking.  I've been told that often enough.  Can you make me smart, too?”

That was phrased as a question, but it was actually a request, just as the mirror had been.  Nimby concentrated on the spongy interior of her head, increasing the efficiency of her mind.

She smiled.  “I'm getting smarter!  I can feel it!  I'm beginning to understand things I never did before.  My perspective is broadening immeasurably.” She paused.  “And so is my vocabulary.  I never talked like that before.”

Nimby nodded.  He had improved not only the height of her intelligence, but also its breadth.  Now she could overwhelm problems by force of intellect, and have the judgment to know when to apply it.  Now she really would use the term “bladder infection.”

She cocked her head, looking at him.  “You know, you're quite a creature, if I'm not dreaming this.  Your talent is quite strong.  But now I have the wit to look a gift dragon in the tooth.  Why are you doing this for me?  You said you need my company, but I'm sure my company is not unique.  Was it chance or design that brought you to me?”

Nimby couldn't answer that, so just gazed at her.

She was quick to understand, because of her new intellect.  “Let me rephrase that:  was it chance?”

He nodded yes.  He had been looking for Miss Fortune, and ill chance had brought him Chlorine instead.

“Chance that you found me,” she said slowly, feeling her way through the powerful mind she now possessed, becoming aware of the several informational options and their bypaths.  “But you must have had a design.  Did you need me specifically?”

He shook no.

“Is your ultimate intention toward me beneficial?”

He nodded yes.  He had to do her enough good to make her care enough to shed a tear for him.

But she was too canny, now, to accept that uncritically.

“Beneficial for me as well as you?”

She had caught a significant qualification.  He really didn't care about her long-term welfare, only about his victory in the contest.  But since he needed her emotion, so that she would cry for him, he intended to treat her well.  He wanted her to come to like him, to care about his welfare.  By her definition, as he understood it, his intention was ultimately beneficial, if not totally happy.  So he nodded yes.

“So you just need a person—and not to eat or otherwise harm.”

He nodded yes.

“Of course, I can't be sure I can trust you,” she said sensibly, for common sense was now one of her strengths.

“But with the powers you have demonstrated, I'm sure you could have rendered me unconscious and consumed me, had that been your desire.  So the evidence substantiates your claim.  You need company.”

He made a small nod.

“But there is more,” she said sagely.  “Yet I could surely guess for days and never happen to discover it.  I've never been good at the game of nineteen questions, or even five questions.” She paused again, startled.  “But I could be good at it now.  However, I see no need.  As long as I keep your company, I can be as I am now—and when I separate from you, I will revert to the way I normally am.”

He nodded again.

“So let's see what else I want to be,” she said, getting practical.  “Beauty is only skin-deep.  I want to be healthy, too.”

He focused on her, making her supremely healthy.  He had already accomplished some of this when he made her beautiful and smart, and now her chemistry was good as well as her bones and flesh.  She would live a long time, and never suffer illness, and would heal quickly if injured.

While she remained with him.

“Yes, I can feel that health coursing through me,” she said.  “I feel like running and jumping.” She did so, and her body responded perfectly.

She returned to him.  “What is the range of your ambiance with respect to these benefits?” she inquired.  “Ten of my paces?  A hundred?  A thousand?”

He nodded yes at the third suggestion.  She had to be associated with him, and while distance wasn't the key, it would do as an approximation.

But she did not think to ask a related question:  could she go beyond that ambiance, formally terminating the relationship, then change her mind and return, without losing the benefits?  She assumed that she could—his awareness told him that—and that was potential disaster for them both.  But he couldn't tell her; she had to ask.

Another notion caught her fancy.  “I am now aware that though my mind and body have become excellent, my personality has not.  I am a cynical mean-spirited vixen; that's one reason people don't like me.  Can you make me nice?”

She hesitated, caught by an errant thought.  “But not too nice, because I wouldn't want to be washy-wishy.”

That was actually another request.  Nimby focused, and adjusted her personality to make her nice.  Naturally he did a good job, providing her with qualities of integrity, compassion, sympathy, empathy, and thoughtfulness.  She would be about as nice a person as any could be.  But he added a reasonable dollop of realism, so that she would not be, as she put it, washy-wishy.

“Oh, my,” she breathed.  “I appreciate what a female canine I have been, and for such inadequate reason.  I have some amends to make.  And I shall make them, in due course.” She looked at Nimby again.  “What about my talent?  Can you give me a better one?”

This was dangerous.  She could ask for the talent of omniscience, and if she got that, she would soon know all about him—and that would lose him the contest.  Her intelligence was already dangerous enough.  So he shook his head no.

“Ah, well,” she said, being nice about it, but realistic.

“You have already done so much for me that I would be unduly greedy to wish for more.  Still, now that you have done all this for me, I'd like to do something similar for you.  Can you change yourself as you have changed me?”

Nimby hadn't thought of that.  Of course, he could—but should he?  He concluded that there should be no harm in it.  So he nodded yes.

“Then make yourself into my equivalent, in form, mind, health, and character,” she said.  “By that I mean a princely human man.”

So Nimby became a handsome, smart, healthy, nice, but realistic princely human man.  Thus efficiently had Chlorine abated his ugliness, as well as her own.

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