You Only (Cameron Farms Book 1) (7 page)

“But they shouldn’t be impolite in public,” Major continued. “I will say something to them.”

“Don’t bother,” Hale said, but her eyes were on Finn. “Some people aren’t going to be happy that I’m back and plan on sticking around.”

Like he hadn’t been at first, Finn realized. He flashed a grin. “You handled it.”

“But you don’t have to like it.” Jasmine was loyal to her friend. “We don’t have to accept rudeness, either.”

“True but I’m going to have to learn to deal with people like that.” Hale’s voice was stronger with conviction.

Finn watched her. This Hale was strong, but rudeness in front of friends hurt her.

A waiter approached the group with fresh drinks. “Ah, perfect. I would like to make a toast. To good friends who take care of one another.” Izzy lightened the mood.

Glasses clinked. Finn didn’t like that Major was included in the toast, nor the way he looked at Hale.

****

Hale woke to the sound of her phone ringing beside her bed. She squinted to read the time as she turned on the light. “What the fuck, its two forty five.” Miller readjusted at her feet, and opened one eye to see what was going to happen. She tapped the answer button as a bolt of worry shot through her body.

“Hello.” Her voice was gravelly from sleep.

“Hey. Hey, Hale. It’s Finn.”

“Finn? What’s wrong?” Her heart pounded. Why was he calling?

“You left early, I couldn’t find you.”

She paused and rubbed Miller with her foot to signal he could go back to sleep. “Yeah, I thought it was a good time to leave.”

“You didn’t stay to watch the fireworks with me. I asked Jasmine and she said you took off.” He actually sounded sad.

“I wasn’t sure how Miller would react, so I wanted to be here for him.”

“Is he OK?” His words were a little slurred.

“Yeah, he did fine. Finn, have you been drinking a little bit?” She smiled as she relaxed back into her pillows.

“I wouldn’t call it drunk, but I’ve had a few. I just got home from Izzy’s, it’s late.”

Poor Jasmine, her plans for a quiet night with her husband were shot to hell. “So you ended up at the Benton’s.”

“Yeah, I missed you.” His voice had dropped an octave lower.

Finn had to be drunk for that admission to slip out. “Well, I had all the fun that I could stand, so it was time to go.” She tried to tease and not focus on the fact his voice was making her toes curl.

“Those bitches were out of line, but you handled them.”

“Bitsy was always mean, even back in school.” She liked that he sided with her, even if it was only the alcohol talking.

“You went all Hale Storm on them.” He laughed and her pulse raced.

“Hale Storm? What’s that mean?”

“I always called you that when you got mad. Well not to your face, but behind your back. You know, back when we were together. You got so mad about stupid things.”

Oh God, how to respond? She didn’t want to walk down memory lane in the middle of the night with a drunken Finn. “Well, now I only get mad about important things.” She fought to get control of her emotions.

“I see that. You’re all grown up.” The heat in his voice made her pussy clench.

“Well, I’m older,” she replied, ignoring her body’s reaction.

“No, it’s like you’re smarter and centered. That’s what they call it. You have focus.”

“I, well, um, thank you. I guess I have matured. I had to.”

“I like it, it’s sexy. You’re sexy.”

This talk had to stop right now. “Hey, Finn, you probably need to go to sleep. You sound sleepy.”

“No, I don’t want to go to sleep.” She heard him sigh. “I wish you were here, that way I wouldn’t be in bed alone.”

“Why would we be in bed?” Christ, the words tumbled out before she could stop them.

“Because you’re so hot. I can’t stop thinking about you riding me. I’d play with your tits with my dick buried inside you. God, you have great tits.”

There was silence. She didn’t want to answer, but his words were getting to her. She slid her free hand to her breast and kneaded its fullness.
How long had it been since she’d had a phone call like this? Too damn long if her body’s response was anything to go by. She hadn’t been with anyone for almost two years.

“Hale, you there?”

“Um, yeah.” She pinched her hard nipple, sending ripples of desire throughout her body as she waited to see what Finn said next.

“I’d have you riding my cock with my hands on your waist. God, I can feel how hard you would grind on me.”

She glanced down, her chest was heaving and her pussy was clenching. “You’d have to play with my clit to get me off.”

“God, yes. I bet you’d be so wet.” She could hear his loud breathing.

More silence. She didn’t want to know if he was beating off to their phone sex. “Finn, you gonna be all right?”

He let out another deep sigh. “Yeah, I was thinkin’ about you, and I wanted to tell you. You looked good today.”

“Thanks, Finn. Now you go to sleep after I hang up.” This had gone too far.

“Night Hale.”

She could barely hear his agreement. Great, she was getting drunk dialed by the mayor, had phone sex and was now going to need her vibrator to fall back asleep. She prayed he wouldn’t remember making this call. It was hard to believe he’d gone home alone; she couldn’t help but notice how Bitsy had tried to hold his hand and slide under his shoulder…

He wants me, but even worse than I want him. Jesus, don’t even go there.

She reached into her bedside drawer for her purple tool and prayed she would fall asleep, after she worked through Finn’s fantasy.

The days settled into a pattern, Hale spent the mornings working on farm matters and that left the rest of her day open for shopping, lunches, or meetings. Jasmine had recruited her for the Fall Festival planning committee. Hale had volunteered to help with booth rental and the collection of reserve money.

She pushed off the front porch swing so that its gentle rocking would help calm her nerves. Tonight, she couldn’t stay still so she hoped that sitting on the porch, reviewing her day and planning for the next would help calm her feeling of unease. Miller rested across the expanse of the top step. The sun was dropping lower to the horizon and soon she would need to turn on the porch lanterns.

She had fed the horses this morning and ridden for two hours, helping shift the cattle to a fresh pasture. It was slow work; she had not done this since her teen years. Her afternoon had been occupied speaking with several artisans about the booth rental for the festival. The majority of the income from the event came from the rental of space along four blocks of Main Street. They had invited various artisans to set up and sell their wares. While the 4
th
of July Festival was more hometown oriented, the Fall Festival brought in visitors from all over to spend money on beautiful, upscale crafts. The change of focus for the upcoming festival was due to Jasmine’s vision. She had worked diligently to carve out a difference between the two events, and if today’s response was any indication, Jasmine had created a huge success.

Miller raised his head and looked toward the long driveway, alerted by a sound only his ears could pick up. Soon Hale could hear a vehicle coming up the drive.

She put her glass of scotch down and stood as the black Lexus came into view.

Finn got out and paused by the side of his car. “Evening, Hale.”

“Good evening to you, Finn. What are you doing all the way out here?” They hadn’t spoken since the drunk dial.

“I know, I should have called.” He walked around his car and continued closer. “I just left a boring dinner and I thought I needed some country air, so I came out to check on you. Hope it’s all right?”

“Of course it is, let me get you something to drink.” That would give her something to do, since she couldn’t imagine why he had come.

Finn climbed the steps and smiled at her. “I wouldn’t mind a little of Joe’s finest.”

“Scotch it is.”

“Mr. Miller, will you let me pass?” Finn bent down to scratch behind the mastiff’s ears.

Miller used his muscular front paw to pat Finn for more.

“Like that do you?” Finn continued to love on her dog.

Hale smiled to herself as she returned, the two males seemed to be making friends.

Finn chose the cushioned chair and Hale resumed her place on the swing. The moon rose higher in the nighttime sky as they discussed their days.

“I know that you’re driving, but would you like a little more?” Hale pointed to his glass. She always limited herself to one small drink when she was alone.

Finn shook his head. The quiet between them continued.

“Do you ever wonder what our life would have been like together?” Finn’s question cut through the calm of the evening.

She felt her stomach drop. “No,” she answered immediately then paused. “Wait, that’s a lie. Yes I have, but I don’t like to.” She looked away from him, scrambling to control her breathing.

“Why’s that?”

She snuck a look at him and he wasn’t looking at her. He was staring at his hands in his lap.

She chose her words carefully. “At first, when I did, the pain was so strong that it would make me sick to my stomach. I learned to avoid thinking about us so that I didn’t have to feel that ache.” She stilled the swing and watched him. Sweat broke out along her back.

“I’ve always wondered.” He raised his eyes to hers. “It’s good to know that you weren’t such a cold hearted bitch that you never cared or looked back.” He finished with an evil smile.

Oh boy, here we go. She’d known this moment was going to happen. “So you want to go into that tonight?”

“Yeah, you’ve had years to make up a good story.” He snarled as he rubbed his hands together as if he was looking forward to a fight.

She stood slowly. “If you want to have this conversation tonight then let’s go inside. I don’t want to put on a show for anyone that might be in the barn or nearby.”

“Are you trying to stall? To put me off?” He smirked.

“Look, I know that you’re a professional arguer. I just don’t want us to get loud and draw attention. I’m not afraid of you or intimidated, but I don’t want to share my business with others.”

“Ashamed of the truth?” he taunted as he stood to follow her.

“Yes, some of it, very much.” She was going to be truthful. They deserved that, too many years had passed and she needed to try to right some of the damage that she had caused.

“I’ve been waiting a long time to have this conversation.” He followed Hale and Miller inside.

“Let’s go in the office.” She led the way down the hall. It was a sneaky move, interrupting her quiet evening, chatting away like they were friends and then lowering the boom. If he thought that he’d caught her off guard, he was going to be surprised. She had visualized this scene for years. It was finally happening.

“Think your big desk will intimidate me or stop the truth?” His tone had turned sharp.

“No. I only ask that if you get your say, I get mine.” She made sure that she sounded calm.

“Agreed.” He bit off the word.

Finn sat in the tall chair facing her desk. He crossed his ankle to his knee and appeared at ease. She took seat behind the desk and waited for this moment of reckoning to begin.

She wanted it to appear that she was waiting patiently for Finn to start, a few minutes ticked by or maybe it was only a few heartbeats. She made herself stay still. He was an accomplished courtroom attorney, so he knew the tricks to put her on the defensive. Finally, he spoke first.

“Tell me why you left. Not that ‘it’s me, not you shit.’ I want real answers tonight, Hale. After fifteen years, I deserve them.”

She wet her lips, over the years she had edited this speech in her mind until it was perfect. However, now when she needed her words, they were gone from her memory. “A great deal of it had to do with me, but some of the problem was you. I think the trial was the catalyst, it broke us apart.”

“The firm was hired and I was asked to defend the man, it was a great opportunity for me. A career making case, you knew that. I explained that to you. I know we had that conversation about my responsibilities as an attorney. It shouldn’t matter if you or I liked the man, he deserved the best defense he could afford. I did that and the jury found him not guilty.”

She smiled ruefully. “That is a lovely philosophy and a great justification for your job when you defend a murderous bastard. That you can sit in my home and smugly give me that bullshit, tells me that you can’t see it any other way.”

She felt her hands shake so she linked her fingers together to try to hide it. “Today, I understand it a little bit better, but the twenty-one-year-old me, she didn’t. She saw that you
chose
to defend the man who had been drinking and who decided to grab Mary Joe on that steep staircase during their argument. All because she had filed for divorce and he was going to lose his easy lifestyle.

“You knew that she meant something to me. She helped me at school, she saw I was struggling. She tried to help me find direction. She didn’t look at me as poor Lydia’s daughter or Joe’s princess and the heir to Cameron Farms. She saw me as a girl who was lost, being pulled in so many directions that she didn’t know what she wanted.” She dropped her hands onto the top of the desk.

“Mary Jo tried to teach me to use my brain and she encouraged my love of numbers. She told me that I would need those skills in life, not that I was going to be rich enough to hire my own accountants.” Hale shook her head angrily and pursed her lips. “Mary Jo said that being important in this town meant nothing, if I couldn’t do good for others and that started by being good myself.” She paused to swallow the lump in her throat. “She pushed for me to do more and to be more and Goddamn it, she didn’t get to see me do any of those things. She got to see me parade around town, worrying about my hair color or planning what to wear to parties. I must have been such a disappointment to her. She deserved to live to see how I turned out, and to have happiness in her life without that man sucking her dry.” Her chest was heaving when she finished. She gripped the edge of the desk as she tried to rein in her anger.

“I asked you if there was going to be a problem with me working on the defense.” God, he sat there looking so calm and collected.

“You asked after you had accepted the case, Finn. It was one hour before you published the press release. I remember specifically asking if you could step down. I explained how much Mary Jo meant to me and to my dad but you continued on with
him
.” The muscles in her forearms quivered as she continued to grip the desk. The anger and frustration and the bone-deep hurt that Finn would even consider helping the man who’d taken away from her one of the few people that she trusted, hit her hard.

“I couldn’t step down after I accepted. Moe would have made me resign from the firm.”

She tried to get control of her anger, kept her volume low. “You should never have accepted the job, or you should have waited to talk to me, your fiancée. Moe and the others knew the ties the case had to my family and about us, they would have given you a few hours to discuss the decision. Instead, you accepted the chance to be the golden boy and when I threw a fit, you pretended to want my approval, but it didn’t matter. You were going to do what was best for you and your career.”

He dropped his foot to the floor. “You and your dad would have talked me out of it. You know your dad was involved with Mary Jo, it would have been a conflict to even have asked him for his opinion.” He lost some of this hold on his temper.

“Jesus, Finn, it was a conflict that you were on the case.” She stared at him for a few moments, when he didn’t respond she shut her eyes to gather her thoughts.

“I wanted them to get married after her divorce. Christ, Dad deserved happiness after his years with my mom. You will never understand what life with her in that house was like. She wasn’t just an alcoholic addicted to pills, she was truly an awful person. She made us all miserable.” Talking about her relationship with her mother was still painful. She had confided in Moe and Jasmine about that time. She had never told Finn very much about it.

“I wish Joe had found another woman after your mother. However, that isn’t how the job of being an attorney works.”

“Finn, be honest. It’s OK to say it out loud, we can’t change it. You wanted the chance to seal your career. You knew that the D.A. wasn’t that smart. Between you, Izzy and the legal brains at Benton and Lee, you knew you had a very good chance of winning. You had the chance to take your career and reputation to the next level and you took it. You chose your career over me, over us.”

“I took a case that was offered to me because I could defend the client well.” Finn’s spoke through gritted teeth.

“And further your career. Just say it, we can’t change the past. Your career was more important than our relationship. If you can’t say it out loud then try admitting it to yourself when you are alone.” Her tone was bitter and she bit her lip.

“Jesus. Yes, I wanted to make a name for myself. I wanted you to be proud of me. I needed the success. I needed to show that I was worthy of you.” His words came faster and louder.

“I know,” she yelled at him. She paused to pull herself together. She made sure that her voice was softer because yelling would not make him hear her any better. “Over the years, I came to understand that. But that case, the people involved, I couldn’t forgive you. Even today, I’ve accepted it, but I still haven’t gotten over it. You had me and my respect, taking on that case didn’t get you more, it made you lose me.”

He ran his hand through his hair. “So, you’re saying that if I hadn’t taken the case, we would have been fine?”

Hale sat back in her chair, pulled one knee up, and hugged it to her chest. “I wish I could say yes, but I can’t. You were a man, mature for your age with a goal and the plan to achieve it. God, I used to admire your drive, I wished it would rub off on me.” She glanced toward the window but saw nothing. “I was rudderless back then. When we met, I was taking a few classes at the satellite campus and worrying about nothing more than what I was going to wear that day. I didn’t have any goals, I didn’t need them because I was the Cameron Farms princess.” She sighed. “I fell in love with you because you were so driven. I knew that you were going to be successful. I mean, look at everything you have accomplished in your life. But I had parts that were broken inside of me. They would have become apparent over time. Maybe I could have gotten help here, but I might have gotten worse and turned out to be like Lydia.”

“I loved you.” He said it with force.

“And I loved you. Don’t you ever question that again.” Those words were torn from her soul. “But that girl would have made you unhappy, and not been able to keep your interest long term. She was a follower, who just went along with the group. Her immaturity would have bored you senseless within five years.”