You Play the Black & the Red Comes Up Up (9 page)

HEAVEN ON WHEELS

M
amie was waving her glass and talking. "I'm feeling happy. But you're not feeling happy."

She was pretty tight.

"I feel happy," I said.

"No," she said. "You won't get happy. I'm happy. Whyn't you get happy? Come on! Have just one little drinkie with your old Mamie."

"All right. Just one if it'll make you happy."

"No. I'm happy already. It's you that's got to get happy.

She was funny, there sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Where did you get this edge on?" I asked her.

"Just sitting home here, all alone. I sit here all alone and there's nobody to talk to. We used to have good times, big boy."

"Well," I said, "I got my job now—and you've got your Party. You're busy on that all the time, and I'm busy down the pier."

"I know," she said. "But you don't have to be down the pier. What you want to work down that old pier for and leave Mamie alone? Whyn't you quit your old pier?"

"Yes," I said. "Why don't we hire a special yacht and go on a trip round the world?"

"No, stop kidding, big boy. Look, whyn't you come and work for us?"

"For you?" I said.

"Yes. Look, you can be Patsy's press representative."

"I don't want to be any press representative."

"Well, it's better than that old pier. And look, we'll give you much more money. Why. Patsy has me on her staff at fifty dollars a week. That's twice as much as you get at the pier."

"What do you do?" I asked her.

"Oh, I'm contact man," she said. "When Patsy's going to make a speech she sends me down and I arrange everything and make business arrangements, and after the speech I sign up new members.

"But we need a man like you. Honest, big boy, I know you don't like the Party, but it's going to be a big thing. You know how many members we've got? Last Thursday we signed member number four hundred. And we've got seven people on the staff now, sending out literature and things. And we've got two new Encampments starting out of town and Patsy's made eight addresses in Los Angeles. They had an article about her in the paper."

"In the Los Angeles paper?" I asked.

"Sure. It's pasted in the publicity book down at the office. It said she was a voice crying alone in the wilderness."

"What she want to cry for?"

"I don't know—it means she's a prophet. That's what this tangle of economics needs, is new prophets."

"Yeah, you look like a new prophet, too, sitting on the edge of a day bed with a glass in your hand and showing all you've got," I said.

"Don't you like all I've got?"

"It's fine. Billy Watson would have liked it, too."

"Who's Billy Watson?"

"A friend of mine. He was interested in figures."

"Well, my figure's all right."

"Sure it's all right."

"It's a good figure for a woman my age. Look, it isn't fat. It's just I'm built solid. You don't believe that, do you?"

"Sure I believe it."

"You're not interested."

"Sure I’m interested. I'm practically excited about it."

"You're not. You're not interested in my figure."

"Sure I am. What time do the balloons go up?"

"You don't appreciate me."

"I bet I do."

"Well, who has a good figure, then?"

"You."

"No, no kidding. Who do you think has a good figure?"

"Cleopatra and. George Raft."

"No, somebody We know. I have a better figure than Patsy."

"You're better all ways than Patsy."

"No, I'm not. Patsy has brains."

"Says who?"

"Oh, she has brains, big boy."

"Brains? She hasn't got enough brains to drink willie water from a boot, not even if the directions was printed on the heel."

"Oh, she's smart, big boy. You know, she's just moved to a whole suite in a hotel."

"It doesn't need any brains to do that."

"Well, that's what I wanted to mention to you. We ought to move out of this dump and get a new apartment. I want one with some style. You know—a regular suite with a place where we can meet people. We've got to meet people. And I ought to have a maid—I can get one with a cap on and an apron for fifteen a week. I've got to live up to the Party."

She was so serious about the Ecanaanomic gag it was funny. She took it all seriously, even when I kidded.

She wais so funny I nearly died laughing.

But we got our new apartment. We moved over to the Seaview and Mamie had a colored maid to come in daytimes. After that she kept after me to quit the pier.

"It isn't dignified, like, you being down there," she'd say.

"Don't be scared," I'd tell her. "I won't hurt your social life. None of your friends need to know me if you're ashamed of me."

"It isn't that, big boy," she said. "But I'd like you in with me."

"I'm for you," I said.

"Oh, you're not. That's always the way. A man never takes any interest in anything his wife is doing. You never come to any of our meetings."

"I would," I said. "But I never have a chance."

"Well, we're having a meeting tonight and it's Wednesday and that's your day off," she said. "That's a chance."

So I couldn't get out of it. It isn't giving in. It's only that when a woman gets after you like that, I figure it's best to let her have her own way. She will sooner or later, anyhow.

When we got to the meeting-hall the girls left me and I sat in the last row. The girls had rented a mission hall and all around it they had mottoes like:
Wealth Shared Is Wealth for All,
and
The Ecanaanomic Party Guarantees the Birthright of All.
Right over the top of the platform they had a photo of Patsy ten times as big and twice as natural. It was decorated with a frame of roses and neon lights that kept blinking on and off. I sat there watching, and all I could think of was what Genter had said that night about everyone going goofy exactly the minute they came over the mountains.

The people came in: old people and women, and sometimes whole families.

Pretty soon the whole place was crowded and people were even standing at the back. A fellow from the fire department was going round, and warning the ushers that people weren't allowed to stand in the aisles.

All of a sudden everyone started to applaud, and I saw Mamie was up on the stage. She started talking, just in a plain voice, sort of joshing the people. She called them Sisters and Brothers they laughed and applauded everything she said.

She would say like:

"Good news from our battle-front to the North, Ten Brothers and Sisters are spreading the gospel of Ecanaanomics in West Los Angeles, and send an epistle to the Mother Fort to say that they expect to start an Encampment there within a short time."

Then everyone would applaud and look happy.

"And this will make the sixteenth Encampment started Since the Mother Camp and our dear Sister Patsy started the great message going out into the world less than three months ago."

Then they would applaud again.

She read off a lot of announcements like that—how Sister

This had been to Santa Barbara spreading the word, and how Brother That in Pomona had taken a collection at the place he worked and raised thirty-eight dollars to add to the War Chest. And how Station Something or Other had promised to broadcast the weekly rallies and singsongs on Friday nights.

Each time they would applaud.

"And now, dear Sisters and Brothers," Mamie said. "Tonight is goodwill offering night for our dear Sister and Leader. Let us give freely
and well, to show her our appre
ciation of her unfailing toil in our great work."

Imagine that. I thought sure people would jump up and give her the horse laugh out loud, but they all applauded and never cracked a sm
ile. Those people were so slap-
happy they couldn't have told the difference between Thursday and a fan dancer.

Then Mamie walked off, and all of a sudden four girls dressed in white and with sandals on walked out and sang something about "Let fleecy
flocks the hills adorn and val
leys smile with wavy corn."

That line kept coming over and over. One would sing it, then another would sing it out of tune.

After they were finished they walked off and the stage went dark. Then, when you couldn't see anything a trumpet blew a long call and after it finished a drum began rolling, soft at first, then louder and louder. Then you could see something in the middle of the dark stage. It grew lighter and lighter, and sort of bluish, and you began to get the creeps. All the time the soft blue lights were coming up and the drum kept rolling
louder and louder, but the audi
ence was quiet as mice.

Then, all of a sudden, you could see what it was. It was Patsy in her white robe and gold sandals, and they had a couple of blue lights turned on her from the side. She was standing stock still with her arms stretched out and her hands turned up and with her head looking up in the air, like she was Christ on the cross.

She just stood still, not moving, and they started opening up golden-yellow lights from the back of her, making her all blue but her hair and robe like it was outlined in fire. Then they began burning up still stronger lights on the front, and these threw a great big
shadow like a cross on the back
ground at the back of the stage.

They kept turning the lights up and the drum kept rolling and then the trumpets started:
Tan-tan-tara-tara-ta-ta-ta-ta- tara-tan-tan-tan!
By the time they stopped she was standing there all lighted like gold with the blue shadow of the cross, big, at the back of her. It was dead quiet and she just stood there. When the people saw that, they all began applauding like mad.

She waited until the applause was over, then she brought her head down slowly, and smiled. She stretched her hands forward, turning the palms down. She acted like she was a Saint, or something, and she said:

"My dear, faithful, beloved people; may the dear God above us all bless you."

Then they all began applauding again, and somebody started to sing. The piano and the trumpets picked it up, and Patsy just stood as she was and smiled while they sang. It was a song something about:

The Ecanmnomic Party

Will aid both weak and hearty Po-verty we’ll banish,

When the E. P. Plan goes through.

They sang that to a tune that was like "Yes We Have No Bananas." But nobody laughed. They were all very serious.

Then Patsy got them calmed down and she started to talk. The minute she spoke they were quiet as mice, except every once in a while they'd applaud like mad, and Patsy would just stand as she was until they stopped.

Whatever she said they'd applaud. Like how the Party had grown so much they needed a bigger meeting-hall and She prayed the Divine Helper would find some way of building them one of their own. And how with a strong central organization the idea would go on sweeping and sweeping across the state like the great waves of the Pacific roll to our shores and when th
e Plan went through every
one would receive a weekly income, and then they'd have so much to spend that the prosperity would be so great the sales taxes would soon be growing faster than you would give out the weekly money. All they had to do to get that was to go out and fight along the Ecanaanomical Front and each member must promise to get two members within a week who would promise to also get two members in a week, who would get two more members, and so on.

They all got up, crossing their hands cross-way over their breasts and promised to get two members. Then Patsy crossed her hands the same way, and lifted up her head to look at the ceiling. The lights started to go down and they all began singing one of their songs. Maybe it was a hymn. It was to the tune of "Lead Kindly Light." It was easy to remember. It went: