You'll Never Nanny in This Town Again: The True Adventures of a Hollywood Nanny (38 page)

So many life changes. It wasn’t until I started packing that it finally hit me:
I was really, really never going to work in this town again!

Now, when I look back on some of the things that I didn’t do, it is so insignificant compared to having them. Kids change your life in every possible way. They completely turn it upside down. And I am really thankful for that.

—Annette Bening

 
chapter 23
back to the future
 

I was so glad to be home and thankful that Ryan drove twelve out of the fourteen hours. During my short time behind the wheel, however, I managed to receive a speeding ticket, somewhere between Weed and Yreka. It must have been California’s way of saying good-bye and please come back soon.

Little did I know how quickly I’d be back. I had barely unpacked when a distraught Rhea called.

“I need to let this girl go,” she said. “Is there any chance you could come back, just for a little while?” She said her gut told her something just wasn’t right with the new nanny. Max was crying a lot and didn’t seem nearly as happy as he had been with me.

Rhea had never sounded so sad, and I agreed immediately. I kicked myself for not finding a better replacement. She said she’d send me a plane ticket right away (thank God I didn’t have to drive!).

I called Mandie, who was back home in Montana after sticking it out at the Goldbergs’ for two whole years. Turned out that her replacement hadn’t lasted long, either, and she would also be heading back to LA to pinch-hit. Would we
ever
move on with our lives?

When I landed at LAX, I dialed the Ovitzes’ immediately. Almost
before I could speak, Delma suggested sneaking out to the park to meet.

It had been more than a year since I’d laid eyes on Brandon, and when I saw him on the playground, I couldn’t believe how much he had grown. He was almost a toddler. No longer a baby, as he had always remained in my mind. He immediately threw his arms around me, and we hugged for a long time. My throat started to form a familiar lump. I was overjoyed to see him, but I knew that this would probably be the last time. Now he could talk. Soon he’d be able to tell his parents.

The two of us plopped onto a swing, and Delma took our picture. I had no idea that someday I would blow up and frame that one snapshot, giving it a place of honor on my dresser for many years. The camera caught so much. Brandon stared ahead with wide-eyed innocence and an enormous smile, showing off those wonderful chubby cheeks. I looked a little like someone whose beloved pet had just died.

Reluctantly I let him jump down and play. Delma and I perched together on the edge of the sandbox, just two of many nannies at the park that day, clucking over the kids.

“I still miss Brandon so much,” I said, watching him toddle in the sand. “It’s like I’ve lost a part of me.”

“I know you do.” Delma patted me on the arm. “He misses you, too.”

“Does he even remember me, though?” I asked.

“Take my word for it, you’re one of the best things to ever happen to him,” she assured me kindly. “He is such a sweet little boy now. I think he’ll always remember you in some special way.” She always knew just what to say.

“Thank you for saying that.” I smiled at my friend.

I could’ve stayed at that park forever, but I did have work to do.

This time I’d be watching Max and both the girls. More work, but it seemed easier in some ways. This time I was in a different emotional space; I knew the gig was temporary, and I had applied to a nursing program that I was looking forward to starting. Max warmed up to me quickly, and this time I let myself enjoy him. Helping fly the kids to Danny’s movie set in Sante Fe sounded like a fantastic way to cap off my nanny career. Rhea was not so enthusiastic.

“With your help, we’ll make the best of it,” Rhea said. “Audrey’s ears
always bother her on planes, so it’s no fun for her to fly. I have a feeling she’ll have a hard time.”

This turned out to be an understatement. Audrey wailed for nearly the entire five-hour flight, triggering stares and huffs from the other first-class passengers. Just like on my flight to Hawaii. It was as if wealthy travelers thought screaming children only sat in coach. Max sat quietly on my lap, but he
was
a baby, and, of course, he kept trying to crawl onto the lap of the perfectly groomed—and fairly pissed-off—stranger sitting next to us.

To top it off, some passengers recognized Rhea and sent their kids to get autographs: “Daddy told me to tell you he watches your show all the time,” they’d say, napkin and pencil in hand. After a while, first class started to look like a kindergarten class.

Worn out by the time the plane landed, we stepped out into the sauna that was Sante Fe.
Hot
was simply not a strong enough word for the weather. We slogged our way to the hotel. I couldn’t figure out why on earth the producers had chosen to film Danny’s movie—
Twins
, costarring Arnold Schwarzenegger—in a boiling-hot town outside of Sante Fe, when the script didn’t even mention New Mexico.

We trekked out to the set to meet Danny for lunch. I briefly got to meet Arnold Schwarzenegger and Kelly Preston, but the actors were on a tight leash. The director’s yell carried over everything. “Let’s move it, people. We need to get this shot before the sun sets! We are behind schedule. I do not want to pay these extras for another day because we couldn’t get it done!” The cast and crew bustled around, corralling the actors and props for each scene.

I don’t think they banked on the interfering townspeople, however. The excited residents weren’t accustomed to seeing celebrities and quickly mobbed the streets, and apparently the studio hadn’t hired enough security to handle the crush of people. The local police were supposed to provide protection, but they seemed to be doing a lot of gawking themselves. On top of that, the crowd became much more unruly than expected, to the point where the director had to cut certain scenes because there wasn’t enough room to move on the streets. I’d heard that two bodyguards would safely escort us to lunch, and I was beginning to think they might be necessary.

Soon Danny made his way over and directed us to start walking briskly toward the restaurant. But suddenly I felt like I was in the mosh pit at a rock concert, surrounded by crazed lunging fans. I tried to keep going, to push Max’s little stroller forward, but I couldn’t even move it because of the swarm of people. “Is that Danny DeVito’s baby?” teenagers asked, trying to touch him.

Finally some security guys came by to help, but in all the commotion Audrey lost Rhea’s hand. The poor six-year-old started crying out, and suddenly a huge ocean of fans swept between her and the rest of us. I was closest, and Rhea took Max, yelling, “Grab her!” Heart thumping, I pushed through the crowd, ignoring the yells and stares and not making eye contact. It was a weird feeling, to be so close to all those people but so apart from them. I scooped up Audrey frantically.

The private room at the restaurant felt like an oasis. We ate our food in a secluded area, with a guard monitoring the door. I’d never been so thankful to be away from the swarming public. Who was I kidding—usually I was the public! But inside this fishbowl of fame, everything seemed skewed and a little surreal.

For the next five days, we tried to avoid the blistering heat and the hounding autograph seekers. Rhea, the kids, and I mostly stuck to the pool and anywhere with air-conditioning, but Danny had to work in the stifling heat for hours. I never realized how long it took to get the shots right. The actors and actresses had to take and retake the same scenes over and over while the people in charge buzzed over things like which of the eighteen different colors of ties an actor should wear (when the
tie would be hidden by an overcoat)
. The shooting of one particular scene lasted an entire day, and that scene was literally in the final cut for six seconds.

I guess that’s why movie stars get paid so much. Maybe sitting in the spotlight—or the sun—takes more out of a person than you’d expect.

A few days later, as I sat on the plane headed back to Oregon and to my new life in nursing school, I scribbled in my journal.

I am truly, finally done. I love the DeVitos, and I hope I stay in contact with them, but going back has made me realize I made the right decision. The past couple of years have given me a lot
of valuable experience. But sometimes I think if I had to do it all over again, I am not sure I would have. The pain of leaving the kids was so much greater than I ever imagined. I just didn’t put enough thought into the good-byes.

I am more than ready to start college and just be a student again.

I have really been thinking that moving on from Ryan was the best step in the growing up department. I think it has been hard for me to let go of my memories with him. But he is a chapter in my life that I am finally closing.

So maybe without these experiences it would have taken me longer to see the relationship for what it was … an intense feeling of “first love.” So I am grateful this helped me come to a much needed—no you really can’t change anyone but yourself—obvious realization.

Reminder to self: Stop being so grouchy when Mom’s friends ask me all the annoying questions about what life is like in Hollywood, and try to remember that I had a window into a life that most people only see in the movies.

 

I was bone-tired and thrilled to be back in my own comfortable bed. A letter from Mandie, covered with foreign postage stamps, was waiting for me, and I curled up to get the latest.

Dear Suzy
,

Well, the European vacation is amazing in some ways. The whole family and I went on this really big boat, some superyacht or something, and I was so sick I thought I was going to lose my noodles over the side. The water was so rough that I could barely even walk along the deck without weaving all over the place and stumbling into things. People must have thought I was drunk. But maybe they didn’t notice, because it seemed like a lot of other people were seasick, too. Or maybe they were drunk!

Anyway, I’m out on the deck and this big swell comes up, and suddenly I go crashing into this guy standing by the railing. Luckily I didn’t barf on him. He helps me steady myself, and then he kind of squints at me and asks me if I’m all right. I felt like a total loser! But that was nothing. I start to say, “Thank you very much,” but before I can get the words out, I whip
around and start dry heaving off the side of the deck. Then I’m like OH MY GOD, because he says, “Ma’am, can I get you anything?” and he looks at me again, all squinty and stuff, and I realize it’s Clint frickin’ Eastwood!!!

“Do you need anything?” he says, and I’m thinking, all I need now is a hole in the earth to disappear into. I’ve never been so embarrassed in all my life. (With the possible exception of my falling-down incident with Mel, remember?)

You won’t guess who I spent the afternoon with a few days later in Rome. Demi Moore! The Goldbergs and me and the kids and Demi went to this museum that must have been a hundred years old, all very boring. But I finally saw an opportunity to take some pictures with my instant camera—snapshots of Demi to send back to my family and friends in Missoula! (Because you know how excited my dad got when I sent that picture to him of me and Quincy Jones, it really made his day.) Anyway, I’m thinking, maybe I can get Mrs. Goldberg to take one of Demi and me together. As you would expect, that never happened. Nevertheless, I figured a couple of shots of her with my boss would be proof enough that I spent the day with her
.

The only problem is that the three of them were walking together and mostly they were stopping and staring at paintings, so the first 11 out of 12 pictures on the roll are the back of her head, as far as I could tell. Then, with only one picture left, she turns to ask a security guy where the ladies’ room is. I quickly pull the viewfinder up to my eye. Demi is smiling at me. She even preens a bit. But just as I’m about to snap the shutter, the security guy rips the camera out of my hand and says, “No foto-grahffi in museum,” and Demi runs off to the bathroom
.

I don’t think I’ll even get them developed
.

Everything’s too old here in Rome and nobody speaks English. I can’t wait to get back to Montana and decide what to really do with my life
.

Love,
Mandie

 

I chuckled. Mandie always made me laugh. But I knew what she meant. Enough with timidly penciling in the future. It was time to ink in my plans.

One thing I have learned is that women really can have it all.

—Jada Pinkett-Smith

 
chapter 24
almost famous
 

I was beginning to think that I had a magnetic attraction to Hollywood.

In three years, I’d managed to chug forward on all fronts: I was studying at a respected nursing program at a private college in Portland, and for the last six months I had been dating a great guy named Wes, whom I’d met on a blind date set up by Mary, my nanny school mentor. Ryan had joined the Navy. His family, whom I had always adored, gave me updates every now and then. I was glad to hear that he was doing well, but my heart had definitely moved on. Like Ryan, Hollywood seemed to be a million miles away.

But somehow it always seemed to tug me back.

Out of the blue, Rhea called. I hadn’t seen or talked to the DeVitos much since my previous stint in New Mexico, and sure enough they needed another hand again. The itinerary was a working vacation followed by a jaunt to Hawaii, and I didn’t have to think twice. I had the time off from school, and I really thought Hawaii deserved another chance. I’d hardly seen any of it during my last visit.

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