Authors: Liz Fenton
I know what I need to do.
I push send a few minutes later and hear a soft knock on the door. “Mom?” I hear Sophie’s voice. “Is this okay?”
I open the door and gasp. “Sophie, you look beautiful.” Her lips form a shy smile as I take in the perfect black silk dress she’s wearing, her unruly hair pulled into a tight knot, the small pearl earrings Rachel and John had given her for her birthday last year dangling from her ears.
“Audrey helped pick it out.” She smiles again and I wonder if she’s been acting out because she’s craving attention from us, because Audrey’s been getting so much. She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “I’m sorry about earlier,” she says, hugging me.
“It’s okay, baby,” I answer, more sure than ever that I made the right decision a few minutes ago.
“Are you crying?” she asks, noticing my tear-stained face.
“I’m just happy,” I confess. And for the first time in a long while, I truly am. I wipe my face with the sleeve of my sweater. “Do you mind getting Charlotte dressed so I can get ready? Pick her out something pretty to wear? Since Audrey helped you, maybe you can give your little sister some assistance in the fashion department too.”
She eyes me warily—I doubt she’s seen Rachel cry more than once or twice in her lifetime. “I’m fine, honey, really,” I reassure her.
“Okay. I’ll get her ready,” she says as she heads down the stairs.
My mind is rushing over what I just did. By turning down
the New York job, my career as I know it is basically over. To reject an opportunity like that, well, let’s just say it’s unheard of, no matter the reason.
It’s okay,
I tell myself as I apply moisturizer to my face.
I’ll land on my feet. I always do.
I hope Destiny will forgive me. I’ll take her with me as soon as I land another job. And Charlie. Will he go to New York without me? And will he still want me if I’m not on a top-rated show? I guess I’m going to find out.
I emerge from the bathroom and examine myself in the full-length mirror. Wearing the sequined black dress that Rachel had picked out months ago for this occasion, I have to admit that she knows her body well. It hugs all the right curves and shows just enough cleavage to make it interesting. I run a brush through my hair one last time, spray Rachel’s Trish McEvoy perfume generously, and hope I’ll make her proud tonight.
When we arrive at the venue, my heart beats wildly and I’m hoping I’ll pull off the surprise. The valet opens my door and I gingerly step out before leaning in to unclasp Charlotte from her car seat. “Come here, baby girl,” I coo. I place her firmly on my hip and John materializes at my side and puts his arm around me possessively. “Ready?” I say.
“You bet,” he says, having no idea that one hundred of his slightly buzzed friends are getting ready to scream
surprise
. Destiny texted me ten minutes ago and gave the all-clear.
Everything’s ready to go here. Maybe we should have waited on the open bar?! LOL See you in ten. xo
We ride up the elevator in silence, the girls looking at each other nervously. The door dings and opens to two large doors. Beyond them, I can hear a few
shhh
’s and smile. I look at John—he has no clue. “Is this the dining room?” he asks, confused.
“It is,” I say. “Go on.” I nudge him.
The greeting is almost deafening and I put my hands over Charlotte’s ears as John’s friends and family yell
“Surprise!”
and break into an uneven chorus of “Happy Birthday.” His face turns from confusion, to shock, to joy in moments. He grabs me and plants a sloppy kiss on my lips and I pull away quickly, laughing. I search for Rachel’s face in the crowd and am relieved to see her laughing too. My mouth goes dry when I spy Charlie next to her, clapping and cheering for a man he’s never met. But knowing Charlie, the fact that John is important to me is good enough for him.
John is engulfed with well-wishers when I hand Charlotte off to his mother and father, who flew in from Arizona and thankfully offered to provide child care for the night. John breaks free a few moments later and grabs my hand. “How long have you been planning this?”
“A long time,” I tease. “You like?”
“Yes. More than you know.”
“Happy birthday, Dad,” Audrey and Sophie say in unison as they wrap their arms around John.
“I love you guys. I don’t need anything else for my birthday. This is the best gift ever,” he says and I hear the tears in his throat. He looks at me, a softness in his eyes I haven’t seen in years, and it reminds me of how John looked at Rachel on their wedding day. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” I say as someone brings over a shot glass filled with what looks like tequila. John downs it in one gulp. The sight of the shot glass reminds me of the high school reunion and I look around at the waitstaff, dressed identically in white shirts and black pants, searching for Brian. My heart skips a beat when I think I spot him, but when I blink, he’s gone again. How silly of me to think he’d show up here.
“Hey.” I hear my own voice and turn around to find Rachel and Charlie.
“Hey,” I say casually as I grab a champagne flute off a passing tray and hope my knees don’t buckle underneath me in front of the only man I’ve ever loved.
CHAPTER 34
rachel
Casey takes a long sip of her champagne, her hand shaking slightly as she presses the flute to her lips. “Hey,” she says lightly, but doesn’t take her eyes off Charlie. “It’s Charlie, right?” She extends her hand.
“Thanks so much for having me,” he says sincerely as he shakes it, the sleeve of his jacket rising up to reveal a watch he told me was given to him by his father, one he rarely removes. I smile at the many special things I’ve learned about Charlie since I’ve known him, only reinforcing my feeling that he and Casey should give it another shot. “Great party,” he says, looking around the room, and I follow his gaze.
The large ballroom, not unlike the one where we had our high school reunion, is packed with familiar faces: John’s tennis partner, Jeremy, and his wife, Kelly, our neighbors who had become close friends; Sophie’s longtime best friend’s mom and her husband, whom we befriended after dozens of play dates; John’s colleague Martin and his partner, George, whose quick
wit and funny stories make them frequent dinner guests at our house. So many people I want to talk to, but can’t.
“We’re so glad you could make it,” Casey answers and narrows her eyes at me slightly, signaling she’s still not completely on board with Charlie being here. Before I can offer her an apologetic smile, the catering manager comes over and stage-whispers something. “Excuse me,” she says, giving Charlie one more backward glance as she’s led away to deal.
“How many years have you guys been friends? You said since middle school, right?” he asks.
“Right, it’s been a long time,” I say carefully, the past two decades flashing before me, mental snapshots of our first sleepover, secret late-night phone conversations, huddled together next to my locker while I whispered the details of my first makeout session with John.
John. I find him in the crowd just as he reaches for Casey, who’s walking by. She pauses briefly as he leans in and says something that makes her smile. She laughs and gives his hand one last squeeze, her fingertips lingering on the end of his until she finally releases his hand and heads in the direction of the bar. John takes a long swig of his whiskey and watches her walk away, a smile on his face I haven’t seen in a long time.
What I wouldn’t do to have that smile shine on the real me again.
“They seem like a nice couple,” Charlie says and I realize he’s also been watching them.
“They are,” I say simply as I grab a shrimp off a passing platter.
“They must have a secret.” The sides of Charlie’s mouth turn down and he takes a drink of his scotch on the rocks, his eyes never leaving mine.
“What do you mean by secret?” I ask, startled.
Does he know?
He smiles. “I mean their secret to a successful marriage. Just look at them, after all these years, still gazing into each other’s eyes like that. It’s like they’re just falling in love for the first time.”
Falling in love for the first time
. Charlie’s words linger as I fix my gaze on John, now talking to Jeremy and Kelly. He’s making a backhand motion with his arm, obviously replaying a moment from a recent tennis match. I know Casey’s not falling in love; she would never do that to me. Plus, he’s like a brother to her. And of course she’s got to play the part of loving wife, especially tonight. But what about John? Could he be falling in love with her? I know he thinks she’s me, but she’s not. She’s the antithesis of me in so many ways—she’s laid-back, she’s open-minded, she’s even sexier than I am, even in
my body
. She carries herself with so much more confidence than I ever have. Could John be attracted to that? What happens if—
when
—we do switch back? What if he misses those things about her?
“Casey? You’re a million miles away. What are you thinking about?”
“What you said about their secret to a happy marriage.” I think about what Casey’s brought to the table since she became me. “You know, I think the secret is trust. No matter what, they know they can always count on each other.” Watching John now, I realize I’d stopped trusting him, stopped believing he had my back, that we were a team.
Charlie looks at me intently. “You know them well.”
“Better than you think.” I smile.
“Now come with me, there’s a couple of really important people you need to meet,” I say as I lead him over to Sophie and
Audrey, who squeal with delight when they see me. “You girls look gorgeous,” I say, holding back the tears as Sophie twirls for me. “Your mom is so proud,” I whisper.
“Who’s this, Aunt Casey?” Audrey says playfully as she points at Charlie.
“I’m Charlie,” he says as he reaches out and shakes both of their hands gently. “I’m a good friend of your aunt’s.”
The girls giggle. “I bet,” Audrey mutters under her breath and snaps a picture of us with her cell.
“Audrey,” I call after her, but they take off, arm in arm.
Charlie wraps his arms around my waist as they huddle over Audrey’s cell phone, laughing. “They’re adorable.”
“They are, aren’t they?” I say as I start to gently release myself from his grasp, but he holds my arm firmly.
“You’re not trying to pull away again, are you?” He looks down so I can’t see the hurt in his eyes. “I thought you invited me here because you want this to work.” He pauses and touches his finger to my cheek. “Do you trust me?”
I wish Casey did trust him. I hope Casey will trust him. I know I do. But I don’t know what it feels like to have a man hurt you in the way she’d been hurt. And then to have to give up her baby; I might have never recovered from that. How can I expect her to jump into Charlie’s arms and ride off into the sunset? I want to wrap my arms around him and wipe away the hurt look on his face, but will Casey understand that I’m doing it for her? I catch John’s eye and he waves, having no idea that I’m his real wife.
“Charlie,” I begin. “I do want it to work.”
“Sure doesn’t seem like it.”
And then I decide that I have to listen to my instincts and
hope I’m right. I touch his forearm gently and lean in and whisper, “Please trust me. There’s no one who loves you more than Casey Lee does.”
He looks up, startled. Before he can reply, Destiny prances up, juggling three drinks. She hands one to each of us and we toast. “You never stop taking care of me, do you?” I ask as Charlie recovers from my proclamation of Casey’s love, something he’s probably been waiting to hear for a long time.
“Nope, that’s why you pay me the big bucks!” Destiny laughs.
I smile, having no idea what Destiny actually makes. Will she get a raise when we go to New York? I know from glancing at the contract the messenger sent over that Casey was getting a substantial one. Not that it mattered. No amount of money in the world was going to make up for how alone I would feel.
“Hey, I heard what that bitch Ava did to you. I’m sorry.” Destiny smiles at Charlie.
“Thanks. But I’ll be fine. I’ve still got a few tricks up my sleeve.” He runs his hand across my back and finds my free hand and I squeeze it.
He will be fine. He’s the type of guy who deserves good things.
We’re standing so close that I can feel his iPhone buzz in his pocket. He pulls it out and glances at the number, his face turning serious. “Excuse me, I’ve got to take this,” he says, before pushing through the ballroom doors to the hallway.
“So, are you in an Empire State of mind yet?” Destiny asks as she pokes me in the arm while giving the eye to a tall twenty-something waiter with olive skin and dark eyes. Feeling her gaze, he looks over and rewards her with an inviting smile.
“He’s cute,” I say.
“For me, not you, missy!” Destiny laughs. “And don’t try to change the subject. Why do I get the feeling that you’d rather gnaw your own arm off than move to New York?”
“Not true,” I say, trying to muster up some excitement for Destiny’s benefit. “I can’t wait!” I lie.
“Don’t bullshit me,” she says.
“What?” I ask as I throw my hands up. “I’m fine,” I add as I glance around the room for an escape. This was not the time or place to have this conversation, my heart breaking into tiny little pieces as I imagine leaving Los Angeles and my family.
“Casey, we don’t have to go.”
“Yes, we do,” I say forcefully. “We’ll both be out of a job if we don’t.”
“Hey, don’t take this job because you’re afraid I’ll lose mine. This is your life. No matter what you decide, I’ll be okay. We’ll be okay.” She tucks my hair behind my right ear, something she always does right before I go on air. “Got it?”
My heart fills with love for her. Because I know she means it; she’d rather be out of a job than see Casey unhappy. “I wish it were that simple.” I sigh.
“Why can’t it be?”
I look over and see John walking toward us. “Long story.”
“Little C!” he exclaims with glossy eyes and a slight slur. He’s buzzed, I think, and wish he’d place one of his drunk, wet kisses on me. The same kisses I would have pushed off in the past, annoyed by the smell of his whiskey breath.