Your Personal Paleo Code: The 3-Step Plan to Lose Weight, Reverse Disease, and Stay Fit and Healthy for Life (30 page)

Read Your Personal Paleo Code: The 3-Step Plan to Lose Weight, Reverse Disease, and Stay Fit and Healthy for Life Online

Authors: Chris Kresser

Tags: #Health & Fitness / Diet & Nutrition / Diets, #Health & Fitness / Diet & Nutrition / Weight Loss

SIX WAYS TO BRING MORE PLEASURE AND CONNECTION INTO YOUR LIFE
1. Touch

Touch is the first sense to develop in the womb, and it’s the most fundamental means of relating to the world. It plays an important role in social interactions, governs emotional well-being, stimulates the release of potent chemicals that influence all aspects of health, and serves as a clear—but often overlooked—form of communication.

Unfortunately, touch is often actively discouraged in the United
States and some other industrialized societies, like the United Kingdom, because of concerns about litigation and changes in public attitudes. This has led Dr. Tiffany Field (who has published over one hundred research articles documenting the beneficial effects of touch) to speculate that many people living in modern societies are suffering from what she calls “touch hunger.” Although long-distance forms of communication, like phone calls, text messaging, e-mail, and social media, are widely available, these cannot compensate for a lack of flesh-to-flesh contact; electronic communication simply does not have the same impact on the body and the mind that physical touch has.

Numerous studies have documented the beneficial health effects of touch. For example:


  A study of fifty-nine women found that more frequent hugs with their partners increased oxytocin levels and decreased blood pressure.


  A study of ninety-five students at UCLA found that massage was associated with an increase in oxytocin and reductions in hormones associated with stress.


  A study of 183 men and women found that, compared to a control group, subjects who had brief episodes of warm, physical contact prior to a stressful event had significantly reduced blood pressure and lower heart rates upon exposure to that event.

If you’re suffering from touch hunger, here are some suggestions for bringing more nurturing physical contact into your life:


  
Be a hugger.
Hug your spouse, your kids, your friends, and those you love and see the most. You might even consider hugging people you don’t know quite as well. (In European cultures, the default greeting for strangers of both genders is often a kiss to each cheek.)


  
Receive or give bodywork or massage.
If you can get a professional massage or another form of bodywork on a regular basis, that’s fantastic. But another option is to take a massage class with your partner, spouse, or a close friend and then trade off giving and receiving massages. This is a great way to cultivate intimacy as well as experience more touch.


  
Have sex.
Sex releases more oxytocin than any other form of physical activity.


  
Take a partner yoga class.
Partner yoga is a nonsexual form of yoga in which two people rely on each other’s support to keep correct body alignment, balance, and focus in a posture. This is a great activity to do with a spouse or romantic partner, but you can also do it with a friend or even a stranger you meet in the class.


  
Take a dance class.
Ballroom dancing, tango, contact improvisation, and other dance forms that involve partner-to-partner contact are also great nonsexual ways to experience more touch.

2. Intimate relationships

Researchers have known for decades that in general, married people have lower rates of disease and greater life satisfaction, happiness, mental health, and life expectancy than single people. (This is also true for people who are living together in committed relationships but who aren’t married.) Additionally, single adults without close confidants have three times the risk of premature death than singles with confidants or married people. Recent research has provided deeper insight into exactly which relationships are most beneficial and what it is about relationships in general that promotes health and protects against disease. For example, we know that poor-quality marriages don’t carry the same benefit as higher-quality marriages. Chronic relationship stress—characterized by mistrust, conflict, and instability—has been tied to greater levels of inflammatory chemicals over time. Hostile married couples have higher levels of these chemicals when compared to couples with supportive relationships, and married women with rheumatoid arthritis who experienced criticism from their spouses had higher markers of disease activity than those who didn’t.

Of all the types of social support,
emotional
support is the most consistent predictor of better health. More specifically, social support that
engenders feelings of intimacy and belonging have the greatest health benefits. One study examining the effect of social support on blood pressure found that support in general did not change blood pressure one way or the other; however, emotional support was significantly associated with lower blood pressure. Other studies have shown that trusting and satisfying relationships are associated with lower levels of inflammatory cytokines, such as interleukin-6 and C-reactive protein, and lower levels of stress hormones, like cortisol. The beneficial effects of emotional support are especially pronounced in women, perhaps because oxytocin has a stronger impact on the female nervous system.

Here are some suggestions for cultivating intimacy in your current relationships and creating new supportive connections with others.


  
Be honest, open, and vulnerable.
Intimacy is based on mutual trust, and mutual trust is based on honesty, full disclosure, and a willingness to let your guard down. Sharing heartfelt feelings can be difficult and scary, especially for men, but true intimacy isn’t possible without such open communication.


  
Schedule regular time for intimacy.
In today’s busy and hectic world, many couples have trouble finding time for intimate contact. Try scheduling regular dates and times to be alone with each other, and stick to them just like you would any other appointment. You could do a monthly romantic dinner, a weekly massage, a short walk in the morning before work, or perhaps a shared activity that you both enjoy.


  
Get professional help.
If you’re struggling in your relationship, seek out professional help. Plodding along in a toxic, hurtful relationship is not only alienating and painful but harmful to your health. If you can’t afford therapy, consider going to a student clinic where therapists are being trained (they’re often quite good) or to a low-income therapy clinic in your neighborhood. You might also consider peer-to-peer counseling methods such as cocounseling. See my website for recommendations.


  
Don’t be a martyr.
If your relationship is not meeting your needs, and you’ve done everything you can to make it work (including getting help), consider a separation or divorce. This can be terrifying for many people, but ultimately it may save not only your sanity but also your life.


  
Join a friendship network.
As social media has become more prominent, the quantity of our connections to other people has increased dramatically. But a growing body of research suggests that we’re more isolated and alienated than ever before. Recently, new organizations have sprung up dedicated to helping people form friendships (real, not virtual!) with others in their local community. See my website for recommendations.


  
Put yourself out there.
If you’re looking for a partner, online dating is a great option. But another way to increase the chances of meeting that special someone is to surround yourself with people who share your interests and values. Volunteer for a cause you support, join a book club or some other activity group, play coed softball or soccer, learn ballroom dancing, go to parties, and get out and about!

3. Pets

Pets—especially dogs—have been part of human culture for a long time. Most scientists believe that dogs were first domesticated about ten thousand years ago, right when humans shifted from nomadic, hunter-gatherer lifestyles to agricultural lifestyles. However, some recent archaeological findings suggest that dogs may have been human companions as far back as thirty-three thousand years ago. Why such a strong mutual attraction? While there are probably many answers to this question, one of the most significant reasons is the human need to give and receive affection. Pets aren’t just pets; they’re our friends and family members. We love them, play with them, touch them, care for them, and grow old with them. In return, they love us unconditionally, make us laugh, and are always there when we need them.

On top of all that, pets make us healthier:


  Pets improve physical fitness by encouraging exercise.


  Pets decrease anxiety and the fight-or-flight response.


  Pets decrease loneliness and depression by providing companionship.

A study of roughly 480 subjects found that people who had pets were more likely to be alive one year after a heart attack than people who did not have pets. Other studies have shown that pet owners have lower blood pressure and triglycerides, greater stress tolerance, improved immune health, and fewer minor health problems than nonpet owners. These beneficial effects aren’t limited to dog owners; caring for a cat or a bird or even watching fish in an aquarium all appear to promote relaxation.

Here are some tips for how to benefit from pet ownership:


  
Choose the right pet.
Most of the research on the benefits of pet ownership has involved dogs. But if you’re not a dog person, don’t feel you have to get a dog! Get a pet that you and your family members can all agree on and that will be a good fit for your temperament and lifestyle.


  
Choose the right breed.
If you’re a runner, don’t get a bulldog. If your mobility is limited and you can’t take your dog for long walks (or runs) every day, you should probably think twice about a vizsla or border collie.


  
Train your dog.
A trained dog means a happier dog—and a happier guardian. An untrained dog can be a source of stress and frustration, and that’s the opposite of what you want! I think positive training methods (like clicker training) are more likely to increase pleasure and connection than negative ones, and they’re very effective.


  
Make time to play.
Once you have your pet, be sure to carve out time in your schedule to play with it. That’s one of the best ways to connect with your pet, and play has its own benefits, as I’ll explain in the next chapter.


  
Volunteer at a local shelter.
If pet ownership isn’t for you right now, volunteering at a shelter will give you the opportunity to connect and interact with many different animals while supporting a good cause. And as you’ll see, volunteering is one of the six ways to bring more pleasure and connection into your life.

4. Music

Music has been part of human experience for thousands of years—and perhaps much longer. In traditional hunter-gatherer groups, such as the Aboriginal Australians, music was an important part of ceremonial and cultural life. In the sixth century, the Greek philosopher Pythagoras wrote about music’s contribution to health. He prescribed music and a specific diet to restore the harmony of the body and soul. In the mid-1800s, the now-renowned nurse Florence Nightingale used music in hospital wards to accelerate the healing process for soldiers injured in the Crimean War.

Today, we know that music affects us by engaging specific brain functions involved in memory, learning, and multiple motivational and emotional states. Music can enhance positive and calming emotions and is used therapeutically in everything from surgery to intensive care to pain relief.

It’s important to note that not all music has a relaxing effect. Some types of music are calming and reduce blood pressure and other biological markers of stress, while other types may actually increase blood pressure, heart rate, and other indicators of stress. It appears that the tempo of music is the most important factor, with slow and flowing music with sixty to eighty beats per minute showing the most positive outcomes on relaxation and pain relief. Research also suggests that music intended for relaxation should be nonlyrical (without words), have predominantly low tones, be made up mostly of strings with minimal brass and percussion, and reach a maximum volume of sixty decibels.

Of course, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t listen to faster tempo, more upbeat music; it just means that that kind of music will have a different physiological effect. Faster, more rhythmic music—especially when you dance to it—is more likely to release endorphins and other feel-good chemicals associated with pleasure, play, and celebration. This is great, and it also has a healing effect; it’s just not calming and relaxing. The important thing is for you to know what you need in a given moment and be able to choose the right music for the job.

Here are some tips for using music to bring more pleasure and connection into your life:


  
Build playlists for specific purposes.
Make a playlist with slow, flowing, melodic, and meditative music for listening to while working or at other times when you need to take the edge off. Make a playlist with faster, more upbeat music for when you need to get the endorphins and feel-good chemicals flowing.


  
Be selective.
Why listen to the radio with a bunch of intrusive advertisements and a lot of music you don’t like when you can use services like Pandora to build your own smart radio station that learns your preferences? Music that appeals to you is more likely to boost chemicals associated with pleasure and stress reduction, so don’t settle for music you don’t like.


  
Expand your horizons.
We have more access to music, and a wider variety to choose from, than ever before. Maybe you’d like to try Afro-Cuban music, or Gregorian chanting, or Tibetan throat singing, or classical. Whatever your taste, there’s something out there for you, and thanks to the Internet, you can add it to your playlist. Ask friends for recommendations and search out new music that makes you happy.


  
Start or join a music exchange.
Consider starting or joining a group of friends who share music with one another. This is a great way to get exposed to new music.


  
Learn how to play and sing.
Maybe you didn’t receive music instruction as a child, but it’s never too late to learn. Making music has additional benefits above and beyond listening to it. We all have music in us, and there’s an instrument out there for everyone. Playing music in groups—like in a drum circle or band—is especially beneficial.

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