You're Still the One (9 page)

              "I'm coming down there. I can leave my conference."

              "No," Katie said firmly. "There's no need."

              "I think we should hire someone."

              "I did." Her gaze skipped to the hot tub, her mind flashing an image of Rick rising out of the water like a nude, ancient warrior. "Daddy, it's Rick."

              Silence. "Rick Powell?"

              She hesitated. "Yes."

              "I thought he went off to fly jets."

              She explained he'd left the Air Force and moved back to Oklahoma to be near his parents.

              "And he's now a private investigator?"

              "Yes."

              "Hmm." Pleasure warmed her father's voice. Though he'd supported her, he'd never agreed with her decision to end her engagement. "Are you doing all right? Are things going okay with him, the two of you?"

              "Yes." She smiled. At least as fine as she could be, anyway.

              "Shouldn't he know something about Grace by now?"

              "It's going to take a little while, Dad. Especially since I have no idea where Grace and Tommy might've gone." She filled him in on all the steps Rick had take, from putting Grace's photo on the Internet to calling the FBI for any information or leads on Henderson.

              "Sounds like Rick knows what he's doing," her father said.

              "He does. And there's really no need for you to come."

              "You think I'd be in the way?"

              "No, but there's no telling how long this will take. I'm able to take some personal leave. You're not. Besides, by the time you get here, we may have heard from her."

              "I've sent you some money. You can put it toward his fee."

              "No, Dad--"

              "Too late, hon. It's already in the mail. I want to help. Grace is my family, too."

              "I know, but I think I've got it under control."

              "I never had any doubt."

              She smiled.

              "All right, I'll stay, but you call me the second you hear anything about your sister."

              "Yes, I will."

              "And Katie?"

              "Yes."

              "This is not your fault."

              "I know, but--"

              "No buts."

              "Okay." She smiled, wishing she'd already found Grace in some tropical bar somewhere, not running from a guy who could be connected to the mob. She hated for her dad to worry. "Maybe I'll hear from her today."

              "Please call me, Katie. For any reason."

              "I will. Love you."

              "I love you, too."

              She disconnected, staring blankly out the glass door. A dull throbbing built in her head. It wasn't enough that she was fighting these swirling, unwanted emotions about Rick, but this worry over Grace chewed at her insides like acid.

              Kit rubbed at the sudden sting in her eyes. Where was her sister, anyway? If she could know Grace was all right. If she had an inkling that she and Rick might find her soon. Or hear from her.

              Katie wasn't sure how long she could stay with Rick without doing something stupid, something... physical. Smart had been nowhere around ever since she'd hooked up with him again, especially yesterday.

              "Breakfast is ready." His voice was tight.

              She turned and found him watching her from the kitchen doorway. His jaw was rigid, his eyes sharp as lasers.

              "Come eat."

              With a frown at his commanding tone, she passed the sofa and laid her cell phone on the end table.

              Balancing two cups of coffee and a small glass of orange juice in his hands, he walked to the table while she sat down. She forced her gaze from the ripple of muscles across his bare belly to the plate in front of her, heaped with eggs and sausage. Two slices of wheat toast sat on a saucer next to her plate, complete with a small jar of blackberry preserves. Her favorite.

              The ache inside her drilled a little deeper at the fact that he'd remembered, at the sudden way he'd closed himself off from her. "This looks great. I'm starved."

              He slid into his chair and stabbed a bite of eggs. "You should've let him come."

              She looked up in surprise. This was about her father? "I didn't want to worry him. I've got everything under control."

              He muttered something under his breath. "That won't stop him from worrying. Grace is
his
daughter."

              She frowned at the sharpness in his voice. "Why are you getting all worked up?"

              "Because maybe he needed to do something, to feel as if he were helping."

              "But there's no need. I-"

              "You wouldn't let him help, just like you never let me help."

              She dropped her fork. "What are you talking about? You're helping me right now."

              "That's not what I mean. Why do you have to solve every crisis, Katie? Take responsibility for everything in the family?"

              "Because I'm... supposed to."

              "No, you're not," he said pointedly. "Grace, and only Grace is responsible for her actions. Your dad sees that. Why can't you?"

              "Just because you're helping me find her doesn't mean my family is any of your business."

              "The hell it doesn't! Isn't this why you really walked away from me? Because you
can't
let go? Because you can't let anyone help you?"

              Anger and hurt exploded inside her. "No, I walked away because of your 'I'm in charge' attitude, because you made decisions without even consulting me. Just like our engagement. You assumed I'd marry you, pick up and leave my family. You never asked me."

              "At the time, I thought you loved me. I thought you wanted to be with me, no matter where."

              "I
wanted
to be asked."

              He dragged a hand down his face. "I know. That was stupid and wrong of me. I thought if I could just get you to go with me, sweep you off your feet..." He shook his head. "It doesn't matter now."

              "It does matter. You thought if I left with you that I'd stop caring for my family."

              "Of course not," he snapped. "But I did think that maybe Grace would start running her own life.

              "She needed me."

              "So did I."

              "You  did not!"

              His gaze shot to hers. She saw pain and a vulnerability in the dark depths before they went opaque.

              She sobered, picked up her fork, put it down. "I never felt that you needed me."

              "I did. But I couldn't give you what
you
needed."

              "That's not true."

              "Why were you always pushing me away?"

              "I...wasn't." Had she done that?

              "Then why didn't we work out?" His gaze met hers. There was no rancor in his voice, just an earnestness that made her chest hurt.

              "Because you wanted to make all the decisions without me."

              "I wanted to
help
you. Yes, I made a mistake by trying to control things so that you had no responsibilities, but that's because you already had too many."

              Flustered by the idea of something she'd never considered, she stammered, "I was perfectly capable of making my own decisions."

              "I wasn't trying to make your decisions. I was just trying to make things easier for you."

              "You thought I'd just go away with you, leave my family."

              "But not because I wanted you to abandon them."

              She saw a loneliness, a reserve in his eyes she'd never seen, and the truth of what he'd said hit her with enough force to stall the breath in her lungs. She
had
always pushed him away. She hadn't ever recognized that he might need her because it wasn't the consuming kind of need her sister had for her.

              The regret in his eyes tore at her. She speared a piece of sausage, chewed. "Why didn't you explain this to me then?"

              "It wouldn't have mattered," he said tiredly. "You saw things the way you had to see them. I think you just couldn't stand to give up some of that responsibility."

              "What do you mean?"

              "Because if you did, you'd have to give up the guilt you feel over your mom's death."

              She bit down hard on a piece of toast. "You don't know what you're talking about."

              "And if you did give it up, who'd take care of Grace? Who'd be there to mother her? Your mom's death wasn't your fault, Katie."

              Hurt stabbed deep. "I'm not going to talk about this with you."

              "You're right. Things didn't work between us. Let's just leave it at that."

              "So here we are."

              "Right. Here we are."

              Their eyes met.

              The uncertainty she felt was mirrored in his dark gaze. The moment stretched between them, then he turned his attention to his plate; she did the same.

              With a tightness in her chest, Katie realized how much she'd hurt Rick ten years ago. She'd leaned on him so many times for comfort, then felt strong enough to handle things on her own. He'd seen that as rejection. She'd never meant it that way, but it didn't change the fact that he felt it. She'd seen the bleak truth in his eyes.

              And he couldn't know that her dad had been pushing her for years to make Grace stand on her own. He'd finally quit, Katie realized, two years ago when they'd both thought Grace was really going to straighten up. What would life be like if Katie had to take care of only herself?

              She had wondered about it before, gotten a little taste of freedom for the last two years, and she liked it, but at the first sign that Grace was in trouble, she'd jumped right back in with both feet. The possibility of living only for herself opened up a window for Katie she hadn't let herself look into until now. A window with Rick.

              He finished his breakfast and rose, then took his dishes to the sink and rinsed them off. When she moved beside him, he opened the dishwasher, sliding the dishes inside while she wiped the table. The tautness in his shoulders, the wariness she picked up from him pricked at her.

             
We just didn't work out
. Had he really closed the door to their past? Hadn't he ever wondered, just once since she'd asked for his help, if things were really over between them?

              He closed the dishwasher. "Let's go out to my folks."

              Katie's eyes widened. "I'm sure I'm the last person they want to see."

              "They probably aren't even there. They've been camping at Grand Lake."

              And what Dave and Vina Powell were home? Unease curled through her. She hadn't seen or talked to Rick's parents since her and Rick's broken engagement. "What about Grace?"

              "We've both got cell phones. Uncle Dwayne knows to call mine if he finds anything in the FBI database about Hernderson. I also gave that number to Tommy's parole officer and everyone else we've talked to."

              "True," she murmured. Of course, being cooped up inside this house with Rick, trying to ignore the want humming through her body, would be more agonizing than risking a meeting with his parents. Fresh air and open space might help restore equilibrium.

              "We'll ride horses or walk or fish, whatever you want. Let's just get out of here. This waiting is getting to both of us. If it weren't for that visit form Mr. Mysterious yesterday, I'd even let you have a little time to yourself."

              "All right."

              "Good. Once we get back from there, we can swing by and check on Tommy's former cell mate. He's due in from the harvest today."

              "Okay." The admission he'd made a few minutes ago about trying to shield her from more responsibility had ignited a realization that slowly grew inside her. He was quickly becoming the same steady presence in her life he'd been when they were lovers.

              Her pulse skipped at the thought of all the times she'd made love with Rick. They'd never had trouble with the physical part. It would be easy to give in to the attraction still very much alive between them. Just the thought of being with him again quickened her pulse.