Authors: Kirsty Greenwood
“
Um. Yeah. The Hobbscopter.
”
“
Of course, dear.
”
“
I kind of need to borrow it. There's been an emergency in my family and I need to get home right away. But the snow means no one can drive.
“
Oh dear.
”
Alfred puts his hand on my arm.
“
My pilot Carlos usually flies the helicopter and he's in Pittenweem for Christmas with his family.
As much as I would love to I’m afraid I can’t help.
”
This is not good enough. We need to get back to Manchester. Oh God. This cannot be happening.
“
But can't
you
fly it?
”
I try.
“
You used to be in the RAF, didn't you? You told me so! Please?
”
Alfred looks at a loss.
“
Dear, I'm far too old to pilot now. At least not on my own. I’d put everyone in grave danger.
”
No!
“
You bloody scaredy cat,
”
says a gruff voice coming from my left.
“
The Alfie Hobbs I knew wouldn't let a thing like being an owd git get in the way of helping a lady in need.
”
Uncle Alan is at my side. He eyes up Alfred with trepidation.
Alfred’s eyes widen.
“
Alan? Alan Harrington?
”
His bottom lip trembles slightly.
“
If you're worried about a co-pilot,
”
Alan goes on.
“
I've got a few hours spare, like.
”
We both look at Alfred. My heart is about to stop with nerves and hope.
After what seems like an age, Alfred gives a firm nod of agreement.
“
Thank you. Thank you so much
,
”
I cry, gesturing to Dionne to get Jean- Paul Gaultier.
Okay.
We're going home.
I'm in a helicopter. I'm in a helicopter being flown by two old aged pensioners who have not handled even a toy aircraft in at least ten years.
Our trip up to the helipad at Hobbs Manor was quiet and quick. Alfred and Alan are trying to tone down their excitement at seeing each other and flying a helicopter again out of respect for Dionne
,
who continues to sob loudly, and me who, to be honest, is still in an utter daze.
It's weird looking out of
the window and seeing the snow-
covered hills of Little Trooley become smaller as we get higher and farther away.
Goodbye, then.
My legs feel like jelly. I feel sick.
Heart attack.
The whirring sound of the helicopter engine should be doing a better job of drowning out the horrible thoughts going through my head.
It's your fault, Natalie.
You should never have left. She couldn't be alone.
You're selfish for leaving. She needed help.
She's going to die and the last thing you said to her was that she was a bad mother.
I hold Dionne's hand and squeeze tightly as we soar across the sky. I vaguely hear Alfred organising to land at the helipad at Manchester Royal Infirmary, but mostly I just think about getting to mum in time to tell her I'm sorry.
We arrive at Manchester Infirmary within the hour. I briefly thank Alfred and Alan before grabbing Dionne's hand and racing down to the accident and emergency ward.
“
Ladies! No dogs in here!
”
A podgy blonde nurse shouts at us, looking horrified as John-Paul Gaultier jumps up at her knees in the lobby.
She's right. We can't b
ring a dog into a hospital. Fuck
. We haven't got time to waste finding somewhere safe for him.
“
Here. I'll take him.
”
I spin around.
It's Olly! He looks tired and handsome in his work suit. I feel a pang of something indiscernible in my chest. Dionne bundles Jean-Paul Gaultier into his arms.
“
Your mum's in cubicle ten,
”
he says, running a hand through his hair.
“
She's okay. She said she just wants to see her girls.
”
I give Olly a swift hug before racing off to cubicle ten.
I pull open the curtain and enter the makeshift hospital room. Mum is propped up against two crisp white pillows. She's hooked up to all kinds of monitors and machines. Her face is grey and sweaty and her lips are pale pink. But she smiles when she sees us.
And that's when the tears I've been holding in all day start to fall.
“
I'm fine. I promise,
”
Mum reassures us as we fuss over her.
“
It wasn’t a proper heart attack. It was
angina p
ectoris.
”
“
What's that?
”
Dionne says, her voice still shaky.
“
It means that not enough oxygen was getting to my heart. At least they know now. There's medication I can take. I'll be fine. It sounds much scarier than it is.
”
I know exactly what a
ngina is. I watched plenty of
Emergency Doctor
during my week of hermit-dom
in the house. I know that a
ngina can be caused by emotional stress. The kind of emotional stress you get when you, say, argue with your daughter and she's a complete bitch to you.
I plump up the pillows behind
M
um and take hold of her hand.
Now we've established that no one's death is imminent everything goes quiet. This the first time we've spoke or seen each other since our fight, or since the wedding was called off.
Dionne, in a surprising show of diplomacy, announces that she's going to go and get us some coffee and give Bull a ring.
Mum and I are left alone.
“
I'm so sorry,
”
I say at once.
“
I didn't mean any of what I said. I've...
just been going through a weird time.
”
We both know that I must have meant what I said during our argument because it came out when she asked me a question. Thankfully she doesn't bring that up, just gives me a watery smile.
“
It's all right
,
love.
”
She waves her hand dismissively.
“
You're back home now. Things can go back to norma
l.
..
did you see Olly?
”
“
Yes.
”
“
You know he loves you very, very much, Natalie.
”
I sigh.
“
Yes. I know.
”
“
I think he loves you enough to forgive you too.
”
I expect a surge of hope at her words, at the possibility that things CAN go back to normal, that Olly and I can work it out. That everything can be fixed. But it doesn't come.
“
I think I might have met someone else,
”
I say suddenly. I put my hands to my mouth in surprise that I've just said that out loud to my mum. It's not even like it's worth mentioning. Riley thinks I'm a liar. It was just a one night stand.
“
Olly's a good man,
”
Mum says steadily, looking deep into my eyes and holding my hands in hers.
“
Reliable and honest to boot. Now those qualities might not be glamorous and exciting, but they're the qualities that make for a successful marriage.
”
I take in what she's saying.
“
You're almost thirty, Natalie.
”
“
I'm twenty seven!
”
I feel the tears well up again and feel my stomach clench as they spill over and trickle onto my cheeks.
Mum grabs my hand and squeezes gently.
“
You're just nervous. That's all.
”
I nod. She's probably right.
“
Time to grow up.
”
Dionne returns and I leave because I’m desperate for a wee. I must turn a wrong corner or something because I end up on a long, dimly lit corridor.
There must be a loo somewhere along here, I think. I turn another corner and pause at what appears to be a ward. There's a glass window looking in upon two rows of beds. Two blue uniformed nurses are gossiping at a station. Great! There'll definitely be a toilet in here.
I'm about to go in and ask when
-
“
I know you, lass. I never forget a face!
”
Oh. My. God.
I spin around, my heart pounding so fast I fear it's going to explode.
There in the very first bed, with his leg in a huge white cast and grinning nonchalantly, is Amazing Brian.
That bastard!
“
Yooooou!
”
I snarl, marching over to Brian's bed and slamming my hand down on his hospital table, causing a bowl of grapes to topple over onto the floor.
“
You
! You ruined my l
ife.
”
The two nurses at the station, spotting a mad woman about to commit murder on a patient, make a lightning quick move towards me. One takes out a walkie talkie and calls for back up. I'm sure the other one cracks her knuckles as if preparing for fisticuffs.
Brian stops them.
“
It's fine Nurse Gilda, Nurse Maud, I know this lass. She's all right. She'll be quiet.
”
The nurses narrow their eyes at me, not sure whether to trust what Brian says or rugby tackle me to the ground and sit on me until hospital security arrives.
They look at each other and eventually back away, the more muscular of the two growls at me to keep my voice down or there else will be consequences.
“
They're like my bodyguards those two. God love ‘em,
”
Brian laughs, all bright and breezy.
“
What happened to your leg?
”
I say, curiosity getting the better of me.
“
I bloody slipped on some ice about, hmmm, four weeks ago…
”
“
Oh.
”
So
that's
where he was
. Seems stupid that I didn't check the hospitals. They always check the hospitals when a person goes missing!
“
So. You were saying?
”
Brian grins.
“
Oh, right, yes. You. Ruined. My. Life,
”
I spit once more, carefully keeping it to a stage whisper. I pull up a pink visitors chair and plonk myself onto it.
“
Did I?
”
Brian asks, nodding at me to pass him the glass of Lucozade on his bedside table.
“
Did I really?
”
I hand him his drink. I might be mad at him, but I'm not going to deny a sick man his fluids. I'm not a complete cow.
“
Yes, you did, you…
bastard. You hypnotised ME you daft git. Four weeks ago at a pub in Manchester –
”
“
The Pear and Partridge, yes?
”
“
Yes, the Pear and Partridge! You were s
upposed to hypnotise my friend -
”
“
Meg -
”
“
Yes Meg! But you hypnotised me. And now I can't hear a question without answering with the absolute truth, which might sound like it wouldn't be that much of a problem but actually it is. It turns out that I'm a great big liar. I've been going around for
years
never telling people what I really think and now all I can do is tell people what I really think and it's not pretty.
”
“
Oh lass, it can't have been that bad, surely?
”
Not that bad? Not that bad? I resist the powerful urge to slam my hand down onto his broken leg.
“
Since you hypnotised me, Brian, you great bastard, my wedding has been called off, the man I love dumped me, I got snowed into Little Trooley.
”