Z-Burbia 2: Parkway To Hell (23 page)

Slapping Elsbeth’s hand away for the umpteenth time, I notice how the tunnel is starting to brighten. Must be dawn out there. Soon we’ll be able to see a little more clearly how far up shit creek without even a fucking boat we are.

Huh…that’s interesting. It’s really getting bright. Like the day is on time lapse and we are speeding past morning and right into noon. No, that’s not it, because that’s some serious fucking light out there. What the fuck?

“Are those headlights?” Greta asks. “Is someone coming?”

Gunfire makes us all duck down. Just fucking great. People. None of us are in any shape to fucking fight people. We can’t even handle the undead, and all they do is shamble
and nip at ya. Right? Look at my arm. Just a little nip.

More gunfire and we can hear Zs dropping to the pavement. A couple bullets ping off the SUV, but thank Jeebus for bulletproof glass and armored doors. We wait, our ears straining to hear who’s out there as the gunfire dwindles down and then stops.

“Hello!” a voice bellows over a bullhorn. “If you are alive in that vehicle, then it would be appreciated if you stepped on out with your hands up!”

“Well, I’ll be dipped in shit,” Critter laughs. “Not what I was expectin’.”

“What are you talking about?” Stuart asks.

“Don’t you recognize that voice?” Critter asks. “That’s my nephew, Buzz. Sounds like he’s done brung the cavalry.”

“So can we get out now?” Greta asks. “Please? I have to pee. Like really bad.”

“Yes,” Stella laughs, hugging her to her chest. “We can get out now. I have to pee too.”

“Let’s all go pee!” I shout. It isn’t as funny out loud as it was in my head.

“Long Pork,” Elsbeth says. “
You already went pee. You’re crazy.”

“Thanks,” I say. I don’t mention the
irony of that coming from her.

The doors open and we see familiar faces just stare at us.

“Holy shit,” Buzz says as he pulls open the back doors. “What the hell happened to ya’ll?”

“Blanchard Fitzpatrick,” Big D
addy’s voice snaps. “There is no need for that language. Oh…” He limps up to the SUV, a crutch under one arm and his leg bandaged, sees us and his jaw drops. “Well, I’ll be. There might be an exception this one time.”

His eyes go to my stump and I smile.

“I didn’t fall asleep and die from shock,” I say. “So I’ve got that going for me.”

“My goodness, Jason,” Big Daddy says. “What happened here?”

“I’ll handle the situation report,” Stuart says. “But on the drive back.” He climbs out of the SUV and looks down the tunnel. “Please tell me you drove. I don’t think any of us will be walking back to the Farm.”

“We drove,” Melissa says as she comes up to us. “
Here, let me help.” She takes Greta’s hand, but my girl dashes off into the tunnel.

“We have to pee,” Stella laughs. “Care to bring that rifle and watch over us?”

“You bet,” Melissa says. “Anyone else need a potty break?”

Elsbeth already has her belt undone and is unzipping her pants when she looks at us. “What?”

“Maybe not right here, dear,” Melissa says. “Come on, I’ll take you to the girl’s room.”

“There’s no rooms in a tunnel,” Elsbeth says.
“That’s stupid.”

“Right,” Melissa says. “Okay.”

“Y’all got some water for a dying old man?” Critter asks. “Or some hooch? I could go for a slug of shine right about now.”

“Not while you’re still bleeding,” John says.

“Bleeding?” Big Daddy asks, looking at his brother. “How bad is it?”

“Ain’t nothing but a scratch,” Critter says.

“Little more than that,” John says.

“Hey…,” Charlie says from the SUV
, “what’s going on? Where’s President Asshole?”

“He had a meeting with his constituents,” I say. “They ate him up.”

“God, Dad, that was horrible,” Charlie laughs. “You really need…to…”

His eyes find the stump.

“Yeah, you missed a couple things,” I say, smiling at him weakly. “It was worth it.” I think I smile at him. Not sure. I know I do something weakly. Well, pretty much everything weakly. I’m a weakly son of a bitch right now.

“Where’s Mom?” he asks, tears welling in his eyes.

“She’s using the facilities,” I answer, going to him. “Don’t worry, bud. It’s all cool. Just a little Z bite, but all taken care of.”

The sound of various weapons being raised, locked, loaded, fills the tunnel.

Uh-oh…

“I haven’t turned,” I say
, “you can put the guns down.”

“Yet,” Buzz says.

“I’m afraid my son is right, Jace,” Big Daddy says. “You haven’t turned yet. I think everyone here knows that it could be days before you get sick and die.”

“I fucking sliced my arm off, BD,” I say. “I got to it in time.”

“You don’t know that,” he says. “Nobody knows that.”

“As much as I hate to do it,
I’ll have to be agreeing with my brother,” Critter says, eyeing me. “You ain’t safe, Long Pork.”

“Who isn’t saf
e?” Stella asks as she and Greta walk up to us. I catch Elsbeth’s eye and nod, hoping she knows to stay cool. “Jace? What’s going on?”

“Your man was bit,” Big Daddy says
, “and despite the loss of his arm, we can’t take any risks.”

“Despite the loss of his arm?” Stella snaps, stomping up to Big Daddy. “Despite it? Oh, right, just a little thing, cutting off an arm. But, despite that extreme measure, you can’t take any risks?”

She turns about, looking at everyone. And there’s a lot of people here. I finally notice that Big Daddy really brought it. He doesn’t fuck around when he comes to the rescue. There has to be thirty people here amidst the various vehicles. Some of the people are dressed like PCs and I have to wonder what deal Big Daddy struck with them. Many of the people I don’t recognize. Some of Mondello’s laborers?

“Does everyone feel this way?” Stella asks. “That despite the fact my husband chopped his own fucking arm off to stop the infection
, he’s still a risk?”

“We just don’t know, Stella,” Andy Crespo asks, one of Stuart’s defense crew. “No one knows. It may be as simple as an infection or not. All we know is that if you’re bitten
, you turn.”

“He’s right,” Melissa says
, “you gotta listen to reason, girl.”

“Fuck reason!” Stella shouts as she grabs me and kisses me hard. “How’s that for reason?”

“I liked it,” I say, “but they’re right.”

She looks at me, stunned, like I have slapped her or something.

“Jace…”

“No, listen, please,” I say. I’m a little unsteady and I lean on her for support. This small action makes everyone grip their weapons tighter. I look around and see the fear and stress. “See? I scare everyone, Stella. I don’t take it personally. I’d be scared too if it was someone else.”

“So what then?” Stella asks, looking at me then at everyone else. “What now? You abandon us?”

“No, no,” Big Daddy says
, “never anything like that. Jason will have to be quarantined. He’ll need to be watched until we know for sure he’s not going to turn.”

“That’s fair,” I say
, “and smart. Which is my expertise, the smart stuff. If I say it’s smart then it must be smart.”

“God, I think I’m going to puke,” Critter says.

“Jeez, I was just kidding,” I say.

“No, I’m gonna-” He pukes.

“We need to get the wounded down the mountain,” John says, “and I include myself in that.”

Big Daddy raises a radio to his mouth. “Gunga? You read me?”

“Read ya, Daddy,” Gunga replies. “Everything alright up there?”

“All fine,” Big Daddy says
, “but we got some folk that are hurt. Has Dr. McCormick arrived?”

“She’s here and helping all these people,” Gunga says, laughing.

“What’s so funny, son?”

“She’s ordering Pup and Porky around like they’re nurses,” Gunga says
, “it’s pretty funny.”

“And the prisoners?” Big D
addy asks. “The ones that decided they didn’t want to play ball?”

“Toad and Scoot have them covered,” Gunga says. “We got them locked in one of the dining rooms. Ya’ll coming back soon?”

“We are, son,” Big Daddy says. “Will you let Dr. McCormick know we’ll need a quarantine room ready?”

“Quarantine?” Gunga asks. “
Do I want to know?”

“You’ll get filled in when we get there,” Big Daddy says. “See ya soon, son. Out.” Big Daddy looks at the radio and nods back at some of the PCs. “Some of the private contractors, as I have learned they like to be called, were not so keen on their previous job. Apparently forcing folks into slave labor wasn’t what they signed up for. And they didn’t particularly like working for President Mondello.”

“Speaking of?” Melissa asks. “Where is the man? He get away?”

“No, he did not,” Stuart says. “Jace handled that.”

They all look to me, waiting for an answer.

“He was forced out of office,” I say. Nailed it!

“Oh, Dad,” Greta says. “My dad killed him by shoving him out the back of the SUV. He was ripped apart and eaten. End of story.”

Everyone turns their attention to the dead Zs on the pavement.

“Wow, Jace,” Buzz says, “you assassinated the President of the United States.”

“Well it’s not like I voted for him,” I shrug, then
nearly pass out from the pain. “Ow.”

“You can say that again,” Stuart says. “Let’s get this party moving, okay? I’ll ride with Big Daddy and fill him in. Who’s got balls enough to drive the Stanfords?”

“I’ll do it,” Buzz says.

“I’ll ride with them,” John adds. “I’m honestly not worried about him turning. He
took that arm off like a pro.”

“There’re
professional amputaters ?” I ask.

“Yeah,” John says
, “they’re called surgeons.”

“Oh, yeah, right,” I nod. “I knew that.”

“Okay, folks!” Big Daddy shouts. “Let’s turn it around! We need to get back to the Grove Park and regroup. There’s a lot of work to be done before the day is over!” He turns back to me. “I am glad you’re alive, Jason. We’ll get you all taken care of at the Grove Park. You can rest up there until we know you’re safe.”

“I’m staying with him,” Stella says.

“Me too,” Greta adds.

“And me,” Charlie says.

“I’m staying,” Elsbeth says. “I’m family.”

“Damn skippy,” I say. “Thanks, guys.”

“We’ll find you one of them fancy suites, how’s that?” Big Daddy asks, smiling at us all. “Not the same as freedom, but you’ll be comfortable.”

“Is the water running?” Stella asks. “I could so use a bath in one of those bug tubs.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Melissa says, “there’s big bathtubs? Damn, I may go with them too.”

“Just load up, ya’ll,” Big Daddy says. “We’ll talk about baths later.”

The group quickly gets back in their vehicles and I follow Buzz over to his big truck. It’s a four door diesel, so it fits us all easily. Surprisingly some of the PCs jump into the bed, their rifles to their shoulders, as we leave the tunnel.

“How do you feel about those guys?” I ask Buzz from the backseat. Stella and Greta are up front, with Elsbeth in the back next to me
, John next to her, and Charlie on the far side. “You think your father’s making a mistake trusting them?”

“Nah,” Buzz says. “We had some of them captive at the Farm. Learned a lot about their operation. Once we got to the Grove Park, and they found out what happened to their boss, they signed up with us in a flash.”

Foster. The image of her severed head comes into my mind. Wonder where that rolled off to?

“Boss?” Elsbeth asks quietly. “The soldier lady?”

“Yeah, her,” Buzz says. “Found her body, and only her body. Looks like she took on the wrong person.”

“So did he,” Elsbeth says.

“What’s that?” Buzz asks, looking in the rearview mirror.

“Nothing,” Elsbeth says, hanging her head.

“Do you know who she was, El?” I ask. “Why she was in your dreams?”

She shakes her head
and I don’t push anymore. She’ll tell us in her own time. Maybe.

Ugh, it all makes my head hurt. Which means every part of my body is now officially in agony. Awesome.

“So, if I wanted to take just a little nap, would anybody object?” I ask.

“Yes!” they all say.

“Just a little wee nap?” I beg. “So tired. So very tired.”

“You can sleep after Dr. McCormick gives the okay,” John says.

Elsbeth places her hand on my stump and smiles. “I’ll keep you awake.”

“No, no, I’m good, El!” I say. “Seriously. Wide fucking awake. No need to poke the stump. The stump is good too. Happy stump. Right, Stumpy? You’re good. Tell the pretty lady how good you are.”