Zane’s Redemption (3 page)

Lauren blew out an impatient breath. “Forget the party. This is more important.”

More important than a party when all Lauren lived for at present was entertainment? Listening to this was definitely worth being late for her next class. “What changed your tune?”

“Tell me about your last boyfriend.” Lauren’s casual tone belied the intense look in her eyes, as if she were a tigress waiting to pounce on her prey.

Portia furrowed her forehead, wondering what her friend was suddenly so interested in. “There’s really nothing much to tell. Why do you want to know about him?”

“Just answer the question.”

“He was nice. We went out for a few months, we broke up, I moved. End of story.”

“Oh, yeah? How was the sex?”

Instinctively, Portia’s body tensed, and she pulled her bag closer to her chest. “It was fine.”

“Fine, huh? Not hot, not exciting, not sweaty, not earth moving?”

Unease crept up Portia's spine at Lauren’s insistent question. “What do you want, Lauren?”

“You’ve never
had
sex.”

Portia took an instinctive step back, crashing into the desk behind her. She quickly steadied herself, forcing her face into an indifferent mask she used when she wasn’t prepared to exposed her feelings.

“That’s ... that’s ludicrous. Of course, I’ve had sex.” Admitting that she hadn’t and that she was a total innocent, was just too humiliating.

“I can tell when you’re lying. Your eyes do this thing ...” Lauren made a circular motion with her hand. “Anyway, I know you well enough by now to have figured that out.”

Portia let out a sigh. Somebody had finally caught her in her deception. And there she’d thought she’d played this role well enough: she’d pretended to be worldly and sophisticated, and whenever the subject of guys and sex came up in conversation, she’d talked as if she knew everything about it. She’d gone so far as to read everything about it, and even to chime in when other girls talked about their preferred brand of condoms. What a huge lie all that had been. And she’d done it so that nobody would think her odd; so she’d fit in, when she knew she didn’t.

Lauren waited patiently and flicked a strand of her long chestnut hair over her shoulder, drawing Portia’s attention to her graceful neck and the pretty head that sat on top of it. Raising her eyes to meet Lauren’s, she collected all her courage. “I’m still a virgin.”

“Not good,” Lauren murmured, shaking her head.

“I’m just waiting for the right guy.”

“I’m afraid you don’t have that luxury.” Lauren’s voice became even more urgent.

Uncomfortable about the situation and disappointed about the fact that Lauren didn’t seem to understand her, Portia spun toward the door. “I’ve gotta get to my class.”

In vampire speed, a blur to the human eye, Lauren blocked the exit. “You’re skipping class today. There are more important things in life than school.”

“Don’t be so dramatic; just because boys and sex are important to you, doesn’t mean everybody thinks the same. You and I, we’re very different.” Portia squeezed her bag tighter as if it could protect her from the things she didn’t want to face.

“I agree, boys aren’t important. Sex is.”

Portia rolled her eyes. “For you maybe.” Imagining herself in bed with any of the guys she’d kissed held no particular appeal. Lauren’s standards, however, appeared to be somewhat lower.

“You’re turning twenty-one in what, five weeks from today?”

Confused about the change in subject, she answered automatically, “In six weeks. Why?”

Lauren pressed her lips together and hummed to herself as if contemplating a massive problem such as the eradication of world hunger. “Then we have six weeks for you to lose your virginity. Granted, that’s not a lot of time, but there are enough horny guys out there we can take if we don’t find anything better. I can count at least a dozen—”

“Hold it! What the hell are you going on about? I’m not just going out there to lose my virginity to some idiot. I’m going to have sex when it feels right. And besides, I’m not planning on dating until after college. I promised my father.”

Her parents had always drilled into her that it was important to find the right person. And knowing how happy they had been together, she had to agree. The love between them had been palpable. Portia wanted the same for herself. She didn’t want to throw her virginity away at some guy she didn’t care about. So far, she hadn’t met anybody who had even tempted her in the slightest to take this step.

“Weren’t you listening? You don’t have time to wait.” Lauren made it sound like the world was going to end. “You have to lose your virginity by your twenty-first birthday or you’ll be a virgin forever!”

“That’s ludicrous! Even at twenty-one I’m still young enough to attract guys. Besides, once I’m twenty-one, I won’t age anymore.”

“Exactly!” Lauren waved her hands in a dramatic gesture. “And that’s the point. At twenty-one your body will freeze into its final form. It’ll be set in stone. Your physical form won’t change after that. Which means, if you still have your hymen in place then, you’ll always have it.”

Portia’s heartbeat stuttered to a halt. Her hymen would remain intact? “But—” It couldn’t be.

“Every time you have sex after you turn twenty-one, you’ll be in pain, because each time the guy you’re having sex with will tear through your hymen. And every day it will grow back, because your body thinks you’re injured and will repair itself. Sex will always be painful for you. Do you see now?”

Portia swallowed hard. Her knees buckled, and she sought support from the desk behind her. “You can’t be serious ... this can’t be true.”

Why was this the first time she'd heard about this? Her mother had never mentioned anything about that, and her father had only always cautioned her about boys. She raised her eyes to her friend, her head full of questions.

Lauren shook her gorgeous locks. “I’m telling you the truth. Go, ask my father. He made sure that I lost my virginity with plenty of time to spare. Hell, he screened the guys himself and helped me pick one.”

Portia looked back at the few times she’d struck up friendships with boys. “One time, my dad found me kissing a guy in the backseat of a car. We moved to another town a week later, but …” Her voice faltered as she remembered the times she’d gotten close to boys, but it had never led to more than a few kisses and some touching. Before she could go any further with any of them, had she even wanted to, she’d found herself in a new town and a new school.

Lauren gasped. “Your father kept you away from boys? But he must know what he’s doing to you. He can’t
not
know.”

Portia shook her head, not wanting to follow the implications of Lauren’s words. “No! My father loves me. He would never do anything to hurt me.”

She believed that. He was her rock. He’d always been there for her. Even more so after her mother’s death. She only had him.

“You said you promised him not to date until after college. Did you come up with that or did he demand that?”

“Demand?” She glared at her friend, yet at the same time she remembered how her father had explained that it would be better for her to wait. And she’d agreed with him, secretly relieved that she didn’t have to deal with this issue until later. “He didn’t demand it. We discussed it.”

Lauren tsked. “Do you always do everything your father wants you to do? Have you never rebelled?”

“I have no reason to rebel. Yes, my father is strict, but it’s because he wants the best for me. And I only have him. Without Mom ... I have nobody else. No other family. You can’t understand that. You’ve never been alone.”

Lauren put her hand on Portia’s arm. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. But you have to face the facts: you have to lose your virginity. You have to get rid of your hymen.”

“What if my father doesn’t know about this? He never hangs out with other vampires. We weren’t part of a coven or a clan. Maybe he doesn’t know because we never integrated in vampire society. We moved around too much for that.”

Lauren shook her head, her eyes full of pity. “He has to know. You don’t raise a hybrid daughter without knowing this.”

“I don’t believe it.” And she would prove Lauren wrong. “I’m going to talk to him tonight.”

Chapter Four

The sun had already set over the Pacific, when Portia got home and found her father sitting on the couch poring over a file he instantly closed when he saw her.

“Evening, sweetheart, how were your classes?” Her father gave her a cheerful smile.

Portia dropped her bag at the bottom of the stairs and walked into the living room.

“Fine.” She hesitated, not knowing how to start this difficult conversation. Shifting from one foot to the other, she avoided looking at him and instead stared at the wall behind him.

“Something wrong? You seem quiet.”

“Uh ... well, there is something I wanted to talk to you about.” She adjusted her gaze to look at him.

Her father sat up, his torso suddenly rigid. “Is somebody giving you trouble?”

She quickly shook her head. “No, it’s not that. Everything’s fine. It’s just ... I found out something today that you’re not aware of and ...” Portia broke off again, searching for the right words. This was harder than she’d thought.

“What is it? You know you can tell me anything.”

Of course she knew that, but this was kind of awkward. In this moment, she wished her mother were still alive, and rather than broach this delicate subject with her father, she could confide her concerns in her mother.

“It’s just that I found out today that once my body sets into its final form, I’ll still ... I’ll still have my hymen if I don’t lose my virginity before that.”

She swallowed. Now it was out and she and her father could discuss this matter like two adults.

“Who told you?” her father’s voice thundered as he rose in the same instant. “Lauren!”

Taken aback by his harsh and seemingly angry reply, Portia nodded quickly. “You mean she wasn’t telling me the truth?”

“It’s none of her business to tell you anything. You know only what I tell you, and that’s it. I’m the one raising you!”

Raising her? She was grown up! “Father, I’m not a child anymore. I have a right to know.”

“Silence! Lauren has no right to fill your mind with these things. Don’t concern yourself with them!”

Confused, Portia opened her mouth again. “But was she right? Is that what’s going to happen to me?”

Her father stared at her, his eyes glaring red in anger. “You are my daughter. And I say who you’ll lose your virginity to and when.”

In that instant, she saw the truth in his face. He understood the implications. He’d
always
known, but he’d chosen to keep her in the dark.

“Why? How can you do this to me?” How could he betray her like this? Didn’t he love her? Tears welled up in her eyes.

“You’ll understand eventually, and—” The beeping of his cell phone interrupted him. He glanced at it, then back at her.

“I have a meeting. Go to your room and study. I’ll be back soon.”

Then he turned and simply walked out like a man used to his orders being followed.

Portia just stood here. She had never felt so alone in her life.

Her father believed that it was his right to keep her ignorant, and what was even worse, he thought he could choose a man for her and decide when she would lose her virginity—whether that was within the next six weeks or not.

Tears streaked down her cheeks before she could stop them. Disappointment clamped around her heart like a tight fist, squeezing it until the pain was unbearable. Her father didn’t love her, because if he did, he would never impose this fate on her. She’d looked up to him all her life. No longer.

She would be his obedient daughter no more.

This was her life, and
she
would decide how to live it.

***

The party was at a fraternity house not far from campus. The music was blaring from several speakers, the light dim at best, the place reeking of alcohol and smoke. Portia wrinkled her nose—it was not the legal kind of smoke.

It took her a good ten minutes to locate Lauren. Her friend looked fantastic in her low rider jeans and tight top that could have doubled as a wide belt.

“I thought you weren’t coming.” Lauren gave her a surprised stare.

“I wasn’t, but I needed to talk to you and you didn’t answer your cell.”

Lauren motioned toward the crowd. “Too loud in here; couldn’t hear it ring. What’s up?”

“You were right.” The admission cost her.

Instantly, Lauren grabbed her arm and pulled her from the room and down a corridor. A moment later, the two of them were locked in one of the bathrooms.

“What happened?” Lauren asked.

Portia sniffed. “I asked him. And he knew what he was doing to me. He knew I would remain a ...” Her voice broke.

Lauren drew her into her arms and stroked over Portia’s hair. “I’m so sorry, honey.”

Portia pushed back the threatening tears. She would not cry. She had to stay strong. Slowly, she stepped back, pulling from Lauren’s embrace.

“I’ve thought about how to do it.” She’d come up with the perfect idea of how to take care of her predicament, and now she needed Lauren’s help.

“Good, Eric is here already. He was disappointed when I told him you weren’t coming. I’ll let him know—”

“No! That’s not why I’m here. I need you to go with me to buy a dildo.” She shuddered at the thought of walking into a sex toy shop on her own.

Lauren’s eyes widened. “A dildo? What are you ... oh no, you don’t mean to pierce your hymen with a dildo?”

“Yes, that’s the easiest solution. I really don’t want to have to sleep with anybody just to—”

“Not gonna work, Portia.”

Stunned, she stared at her friend. “Why not? It’s as big as a ... you know. I think it’s a brilliant idea.”

“Sure, if it worked, but it won’t. It’ll push through your hymen, but tomorrow it will have grown back. A man’s semen is what will make it disappear for good.”

Portia suppressed her urge to gag. “But then ... then ...” Her mind’s wheels churned. “Then, why don’t I get donated sperm. You have to help me.” She took Lauren by her shoulders, almost shaking her. “Can’t you get one of your ‘friends’ to donate some? I’m sure you can come up with some excuse for why.”