Authors: Wodke Hawkinson
“So he is.” Her reply was casual.
Her breasts rocked slightly with the motion of her hand as she rearranged
herself on the chaise so Lazlo would have a better view.
“Doesn’t he have some trimming to
do or something?” Zeke stretched his lean body, thrusting upward slightly.
“I didn’t hire him for his green
thumb. I was more interested in a different appendage.” Mrs. Harrington
smirked. “Maybe I ought to invite him to join us. You don’t mind sharing me, do
you?”
Zeke didn’t answer. He knew the question
was rhetorical. There was no doubt that she would have Lazlo when she was
finished with him.
Zeke gazed at her heavy bosom, her
thickening waist, and her bushy tangle of pubic hair. She was no beauty, but
for an older broad, she wasn’t bad either. Of course, her body could in no way
compare to his sweet young Sue with her supple limbs and slender frame.
Thinking of Sue brought him to his
release, and Mrs. Harrington smiled her approval as she squeezed out the last
drops. She then gestured to Lazlo who parted the willow branches and followed
her obediently into the pool house.
“I brought you a cappuccino.” Zeke
handed Sue the paper cup as she slid into the van. The warm mocha scent filled
the interior of the vehicle. A hot smell on a hot day. “Ever had one of these?”
“No.” Sue frowned. She didn’t like
the mocha-flavored candies her grandmother always kept in a cut glass bowl on
her dining room table.
“Try it. It’s really good.”
She was touched he had brought her
a drink; in fact, she was unreasonably flattered. She took a sip and instantly
recoiled.
“Hot.” Patting her upper lip, she
tried to hide her aversion to the beverage. She drank it slowly, not wanting to
hurt his feelings.
“Do you like it?”
“Well, I’m not a big fan of mocha,
but I love that you thought of me.”
He looked so disappointed; she put
a smile on her face and stoically took another drink. Maybe it would grow on
her.
They drove to a nearby lake and
parked in a secluded spot surrounded by trees, an area not favored by people
fishing or swimming because there was no easy access to the water. Gusty wind
blew from the lake and whispered through the leaves around them. Swaying in the
breeze, tree branches swept at the scattered clouds like giant green brooms,
and the summer day enclosed them in its warm hand. Windows down, Zeke lit a
cigarette and leaned back, lazy in the heat.
“Tell me about your friends.” He
gazed sensuously at her through half-closed eyes.
Sue squirmed a little and thought
about inventing a list of friends to impress him, but it was hard for her to
lie. Keeping secrets was easy, but telling outright lies made her
uncomfortable. “Well, I know a lot of people. But I guess I mainly have just
one friend. Joyce.”
“Are you close?” Zeke leaned
forward just a bit, as if his interest had been piqued.
“Not so much anymore. Joyce has a
lot going on right now. She tutors on top of her regular class schedule.”
“You haven’t told her about me,
have you?” His voice was casual, but she detected an uneasy undertone.
“No, not yet.” She felt compelled
to lie, wishing she’d never mentioned Zeke to Joyce. At least she hadn’t told
her much, not even his name.
“Well, don’t!” He stared at her,
gaze intense. “I want your word, Sue. Don’t tell
anyone
about us.”
“Okay.” A lump rose in her throat.
She
wanted
to tell. She wanted to boast. She wanted to scream it from
the rooftops, walk through the mall on his arm, go to dances and movies with
him like other couples. However, if it ever got back to him that she’d told, he
might dump her, and the thought of that was unbearable. “I just don’t
understand why us being together is a secret. What would it hurt if anyone
knew?”
Zeke frowned and tossed his hair
back in annoyance. “It wouldn’t
hurt
anything. But, Sue… Well, I hate to
say it so bluntly, but it would make me wonder about your maturity level. You
know what I mean?”
Sue stiffened. She didn’t want him
to think of her as juvenile. “I guess.”
“You’re not some teenager who has
to sit around and gossip about boys. You’re a woman and I’m a man. Our time
together is no one else’s business.” His features hardened. “I mean it, Sue.
It’s important to me.”
“I understand that. I won’t say
anything to anybody.”
A gust of fragrant air passed through
the open windows of the van and cooled her skin. She grew thoughtful as she
watched Zeke exhale, smoke drifting out, carried away by the breeze. He turned
to look at her, his eyes knowing and shrewd.
“No, Sue. I’m not married or in
another relationship,” he said in response to her unspoken question. “I just
really value my privacy.”
“It’s alright, I don’t spend that
much time with Joyce anyway.”
“It
does
sound like she’s
too busy for you. Sometimes friends lose touch with each other. Life moves on and
people get caught up in it. Before you know it, you’re wondering why you ever
hung around so-and-so in the first place.”
His words made her wonder.
Why
do I hang out with Joyce?
And has she dropped me?
Uncertainty
swelled inside her.
“Sometimes people find out when
they grow up that they really don’t have anything in common with their
childhood friends anymore. Sometimes you just have to cut the ties because
you’ve moved beyond them. It’s like you’re traveling in different orbits or
something, and it gets harder and harder to make your orbits intersect. Pretty
soon, it’s a hassle to keep forcing something when you should just let it fall
away, die a natural death. I know; I’ve been there.”
In a few short sentences, Zeke had
described her relationship with Joyce. Sue looked at him in amazement,
impressed with his ability to pinpoint the truth and bring it into the light.
She felt almost ashamed of her friendship with Joyce. Why had she hung onto a
zero like her? Zeke was right. They really had little in common. And now that
Sue thought about it, Joyce hadn’t dumped her; Sue had simply moved on. “You’re
smart about people, Zeke.”
He shrugged. “I just see what I
see. Joyce just had to let you go, that’s all. She’s grown beyond the need to
have you clinging to her all the time.” He crushed his cigarette in the ashtray
and turned to smile at her.
Sue felt her insides roil as the
blood rushed from her face.
Joyce had to let me go? I’m the loser?
There
was no way to hide the hurtful shock she felt and Zeke pounced on it like a
lion on a kill.
“Don’t take it so hard, Susie.
People let go of each other every day. It’s not a bad thing. You yourself said
Joyce was a loner. She was just using you so she wouldn’t be completely alone.
Now she has all the people she tutors and doesn’t need you. I say big deal. You
don’t need her anyway.”
Sue struggled to keep her composure
but tears leaked from the corners of her eyes. “I don’t think she dumped me. We
just grew apart.”
“Let it go, bunny. Like I said, you
don’t need her. You got me, don’t you?”
Sue tried to hide her pain and
embarrassment. “Tell me about your friends.” She grabbed the chance to change
the subject.
“Don’t have any around here,” he
said simply. “They’re all back home in New York. To tell the truth, I don’t
think about them much. If it’s meant to be, we’ll hook up again someday.” A
faraway look came into his eyes.
Sue didn’t like the dreamy look
that always came over Zeke when he talked about the city. She felt threatened
by it. To distract him, she took a huge gulp of her mocha cappuccino and tried
to turn her grimace into a smile. “Hey,” she said brightly. “Want to share this
with me?”
“Nah, I had some already.” He
stared out the window as if he’d forgotten she was there.
Sue suspected he was thinking of
his old life.
It hung over her like a bad
diagnosis, a disease waiting in the wings to destroy her happiness. He would
leave someday. She tried to ignore the looming threat and all it implied.
When Zeke took her back to her car,
Sue clutched his arm. “When can I see you again?”
He leaned over and kissed her on
the cheek. “Soon.”
She got out of the van and watched
him drive away, her heart fluttering. Was he growing bored with her? Or were
things still fine between them? The doubt ate at her as she got in her car to
drive home.
Zeke and Sue reclined on a blanket
spread over a lush growth of weeds and wildflowers, looking up at mountainous
white puffs of cloud drifting in the blue sky. The drone of insects and the
chirping of birds provided music. A soft breeze whispered suggestively through
the trees as it gently caressed their bodies. Warm sunlight played over them as
they lay beside each other, holding hands.
For being a transplant to the
region, Zeke certainly knew the area well, always finding out-of-the-way places
where they could be alone. This time they were in an old cemetery just outside
of town. Sue hadn’t even known it existed before Zeke had taken her there. They
had hidden the van behind a row of evergreens and carried their picnic lunch
past the tilted tombstones into the pasture beyond. There, they hollowed out a
secret room within the tall vegetation. Sue felt drugged, heady with sensory
overload from the beauty of the day and the presence of Zeke by her side.
They talked quietly of everyday
things, before the conversation turned to issues of money.
“The bookstore doesn’t pay for
shit. But I guess it’s better than nothing until I sell some of my poems.”
“I know what you mean. I have to keep
my job at the nursing home for now. It doesn’t pay much either, but at least
they’re willing to work around my class schedule.” Sue sighed deeply. “I’m
still looking at three more years of college.”
“College is expensive.” Zeke closed
his eyes to the sun; the tiny veins in his eyelids looked so delicate her heart
ached with the desire to kiss them. “We won’t have as much time together as I’d
like. Besides, it’s a damn shame you have to work while you’re going to school.
I think it’s hard on you.”
“I guess I wouldn’t
have
to
work,” Sue admitted. “But I’m trying not to dip into my savings.”
“Savings?” Zeke turned on his side
and propped his head in his hand.
“Sure. I’ve always saved for
college.” Sue felt Zeke’s penetrating gaze and elaborated. “It’s like this. My
folks had a rule while I was growing up. I always had to put half of my money
in savings, unless I got it for my birthday or Christmas. But if I earned it
babysitting or whatever, half went into the bank and I could spend the other
half any way I wanted. It was a good idea, and I still do it. Before I got a
regular job, my dad would match my deposits. And when I was born, he made
automatic deposits into the account from his weekly checks, not much, but they
added up. The total’s accumulated nicely over the years.”
Zeke whistled softly and moved
closer, nuzzling her neck. “Damn, Sue. That could amount to a small fortune.”
“Not really.” His interest in her
money made her suddenly uncomfortable, while at the same time, his mouth on her
neck filled her with happiness. “Well, there might not be as much as you
think,” Sue said, thinking quickly. “I had to help pay for my braces and other
little things over the years. Plus, I’ve already paid for my first semester of
college, but there’s still several thousand dollars in the account. As long as
I live at home, I won’t have to dig into my savings too much.” In truth, she’d
never had to help pay for anything from the money and there was closer to forty
thousand dollars at her disposal, but something told her to keep that knowledge
to herself, at least for now.
“Hmm, certainly not pocket change.”
Zeke pulled back and began to trace a lazy circle on her upper arm with one
finger. His touch was soft and set her senses soaring. “Actually, that was a
pretty smart plan your parents came up with. Everyone could use a nest egg.”
“Yeah, I guess so,” Sue agreed
before blurting, “Oh, Zeke. I wish you’d agree to meet my folks.”
“How many times do I have to tell
you it’s not going to happen?” Zeke sat up, his voice tinged with anger.
“But, you’d like them. I know you
would.” Hurt filled her voice.
“I probably would. But, they
wouldn’t like me.” He ran his hand through his dark hair.
“Sure, they would. You’re
wonderful,” Sue insisted, and turned toward him. She sought his eyes, but he
wouldn’t look at her.
“I’m not the type to meet the
parents,” Zeke finally said. He pulled a blade of grass from the ground and
toyed with it. “It’s never worked out for me in the past. Every single time was
shitty. I decided never to put myself through that again. It’s awkward,
unnatural. I’m sorry, babe. I just can’t do it. Won’t do it. Tell me you
understand.” He tossed the piece of grass aside, leaned down, and kissed her
gently on the cheek.
“I guess.” Her disappointment was
evident.
“What does it matter? The important
thing is that we have each other. We don’t need anyone else’s approval to make
our love real.”
She felt a softening inside. He had
never declared his love before. It resonated within her, filled her like a
blooming flower.
“Oh, Zeke,” she whispered. “You
love me? I love you, too.”
He eased her back on the blanket
and looked down at her face.
“I’ve been waiting to hear that,”
he breathed. “I want you so much! I want every part of you, all of you, body
and soul.”
With exquisite tenderness, he
brushed her lips with his own and licked them softly. He reached under her
blouse and ran his hands over her body, then pulled her to him. Working her
mouth open with patient urgings, he slipped the tip of his tongue inside and
rimmed the inner edges of her sensitive lips, eventually easing further into
her mouth. His breath was warm and yeasty from the beer they’d had, and the
sensation was explosive.