Zombies and Shit (53 page)

“We’ll be there shortly,” Junko says, while directing the zombie car with the lawn gnome. “Be ready for those merc punks. They are going to be a lot tougher to deal with then the zombies.”

Scavy nods and loads his sniper rifle.

“So who gets to go on the helicopter?” Scavy says. “If we all do make it there in one piece.”

Junko pauses. It’s a conversation she was hoping to avoid.

“We draw straws,” says Mr. T. “It’s the only way.”

Junko thinks about it for a minute, then sighs.

“I’ll agree to it only if everyone else agrees,” Junko says. “But everyone has to agree to the outcome no matter what happens. The three losers will have to give their life to protect the person who gets the longest straw.”

“Well, the T-2000 agrees to those terms,” says Mr. T. “It’s the only way that’s fair.”

Scavy puts his rifle in his lap.

“Fuck, why not,” Scavy says. “I’m in. If I don’t pull the long straw I’ll still support the winner. You got my word.” He looks down at his hands, then looks up with a smile on the side of his mouth. “The three of you deserve to get out of here more than I do, anyway.”

There is a long pause before Rainbow Cat speaks up. All of them look at her, wondering what she’s thinking.

“Okay,” she says. “I agree, too.”

“You sure?” Junko says.

“Yes.”

“You promise you won’t disregard who pulls the long straw the second you see the helicopter?”

“I Promise!”

Junko takes a deep breath. “Okay. Well, let’s do it.” Then she turns to Rainbow. “Let me see your knife.”

Rainbow pulls the dagger out of her bag and gives it to her. Junko grabs one of Rainbow’s dreadlocks and cuts it off.

“Ow!” Rainbow cries, holding her head.

Junko tosses Scavy the dagger and the dreadlock.

“Cut that into four pieces,” she says. “Each one bigger than the last. We are going to create a hierarchy. If the person with the longest piece of hair gets killed or infected, the person with the next longest piece of hair takes their place. If something happens to that person then the next one in line gets to go. And so on.”

Everyone understands. Scavy begins cutting up the dreadlock.

“That way, there’s still hope for all of us,” she says. “We can still work as a team.”

Rainbow draws the shortest dreadlock.

“What the fuck?” Rainbow cries. “I can’t be the last in line! I need to get back to the island. I
need
to!”

“Fair is fair,” says Mr. T.

“But you don’t understand,” Rainbow says. “This isn’t about me. It’s about my husband’s work. He’s the greatest novelist of our time. If I’m not the one who makes it back to the island his masterpiece will never be published!”

“You agreed to the rules,” Junko says. “There’s no backing out now.”

“But—”

“No buts,” Mr. T says. “It was a fair draw. Mr. T is third in line, and you don’t hear him whining about it, do ya?”

Rainbow keeps quiet as Mr. T raises his voice. Her face becomes flushed. Junko pulls the second longest piece of hair and thinks nothing of it.

When Scavy is left with the longest piece of hair, his face lights up.

“What?” he says. “I got the longest! No shit!”

“We’ve got your back,” Mr. T says.

“But I don’t deserve this,” Scavy says. “I think Junko should take it. I’m just a fucking scumbag loser.”

“You’re not a loser to me,” says Mr. T. “I saw you take out that nazi fool all by yourself. In my opinion, you’re a first class hero.”

Mr. T smiles bright white teeth at Scavy.

“I’ll trade you,” Rainbow says. “You said you don’t deserve to go, so give me the long straw. You can have the short one.”

Scavy doesn’t want to give her his straw.

“Fine,” she says. “Junko can take the long straw and I’ll take the second longest. How about that?”

Scavy thinks about it. Though he likes the idea of giving Junko the long straw, he would rather not give Rainbow the second longest.

“No trades,” Mr. T says. “We all agreed before we drew. This is the lineup. No matter what, we got to stick with that, or else none of us will get home.”

“I agree,” Junko says.

Scavy puts the lock of hair in his pocket and nods his head. After an intimidating stare from Mr. T, Rainbow nods her head as well.

Vine stands on a rooftop overlooking the hospital. He sees Nemesis, standing on the roof of the hospital as still as a statue. She is naked, her cold white skin glimmering in the sunlight as the sun peeks out from a sheet of gray clouds, her long black hair flowing in the breeze.

His hands shake as he stares at her. Vine doesn’t know exactly what he’s going to do. He’s lost without Xiu and Zippo. He knows Xiu would want him to finish the mission. He has to kill the woman with the paper-white skin, reclaim the artwork, and wait for the helicopter to arrive. But he’s not sure he can fight without Xiu telling him what to do.

There was only one time in his life that Vine was in a similar situation. In his early twenties, Vine had become separated from Xiu and Zippo in a city along the Mexican coast. He was all alone and had to make it back to the ship by himself.

At first, he couldn’t even walk on his own. He was just a dead severed limb. Then zombies started to come for him.

“Cerebros!” they said.

He still couldn’t move. If he had Xiu he could have cut them all down with his wire in less than a second, but operating his wires was difficult for him. It was always as if she was the one operating his wires for him. But then something happened. When the zombies got too close, his survival instincts clicked in and without thinking about it he cut down every last zombie on the street.

He looked at his hands. He was able to move them. He tried his feet. He was able to move them, too. That’s when he realized it was possible for him to move on his own, without the commands of his Head.

But as he crept through the city, he still had problems using his own thoughts. That is, until he channeled Xiu’s voice. He found that if he pretended his thoughts were really Xiu’s thoughts, he could move on his own. Perhaps he wasn’t as efficient of a soldier without his Head, but he was still capable of defending himself.

Zombies ran at him from left and right. His wires darted out of his wrist, cut off their heads, then came back. He shot a wire at a zombie pig, hooked onto its snout, spun around, and tossed the pig face-first into a wall.

Although he did not feel at all whole, he was still a competent zombie-killing machine. He cut his way through the streets, down to the beach, and was picked up by the closest ship. When he met with Xiu again, she rested her forehead against his chest. His thoughts emptied from his head, her thoughts filled it up. From that moment on, he had no need to think on his own. Until now.

Vine focuses his thoughts, attempts to bring back the method he used years ago. He tries to imagine his thoughts are really Xiu’s commands. If he focuses hard enough, envisioning Xiu by his side just out of view, he will be able to complete his mission.

Just as Vine launches his wire at the next building and swings toward the ground, he sees a black vehicle barreling across the weed-coated parking lot, heading straight for the hospital.