Elias winced. “Yeah. I know. When they put that description to it, it makes me feel like a dirty old man.”
She leaned closer and kissed him. “I’m thirty years old, for God’s sake. There’s nothing wrong with this. But just for the record, you
are
dirty.”
He cupped her face. “Was tonight okay for you?”
She could see the concern in his eyes and she longed to drive it away. “Gee. I don’t know. I mean I only came, what? Four, five times?” She feigned a long-suffering sigh. “I guess it was okay.”
He chuckled. “You’re a smartass.”
She was oddly flattered by his comment. “Actually I think Stephanie classifies as the smartass. I’m the quiet one, remember?”
“I find it hard to pigeonhole people into such neat little boxes. All of us are a mixture of different character traits. While you have a quiet nature, you are also funny, unpredictable and a smartass.”
He was right. Everyone had different sides. She was pleased by his descriptions. “And you’re intelligent, soft-spoken, demanding and sexy as hell.”
He winked. “I like that sexy part.”
“Thought you would. Hey, I was wondering if you’d like to go to Stephanie’s wedding with me next month. I know you were already invited, but I was thinking maybe we could…” She let her words fade away and cursed her ill-advised request. She’d very firmly said this would be a short-term engagement. Now here she was, just a few hours in and asking for more.
Elias hesitated for a moment and she quickly tried to fill the silence. “Never mind. It was a silly idea. I just—”
“I would love to be your date for the wedding, Jayne.”
A wave of relief suffused her. “You would? I mean, I know we said we’d limit this to just a few nights, so if you’d rather…” God. Why couldn’t she leave well enough alone?
“I know what
you
said, but I told you I wanted more. If you’d prefer to simply go as friends, we can do that. We’re both going to be there anyway. Seems silly for us to go in separate cars since I intend to monopolize you at the reception for every dance, then try to lure you back here afterward for sex either way.”
“I’m a terrible dancer.”
“I’ll teach you. And for the record, the wedding does not count as one of my five nights. Now turn around and relax. I obviously didn’t do a very good job tonight fucking you senseless. You’re still thinking too much.”
She let him direct her back to her original position and her worries about her foolishness in inviting him to the wedding soon faded. As happy as she was about Jarod and Stephanie getting married, she’d secretly been dreading the actual ceremony. All her friends were happy and in love and the idea of going to the wedding stag had seemed too unbearable to consider. She was tired of being the lone single person in a room full of lovers.
Going with Elias to the wedding was the answer to a prayer. She wouldn’t be the wallflower bridesmaid. There would be someone to sit next to at dinner and someone to dance with during all those long, slow romantic songs. She imagined Elias was probably a smooth dancer. She closed her eyes and pictured it. He’d take her hand, lead her to the floor and pull her close. She loved the strength in his arms, the way he would no doubt use it to guide her gently to the music.
She sighed slowly, her contentment giving away to anxiety. She wasn’t sure she could handle this. All she wanted was to take Elias’ lessons in BDSM, revel in the intense sex, let him fill up the empty parts of her and then walk away.
Walk away.
That was the one part she feared she wouldn’t manage.
Jayne tried to let the hot water soothe her aching muscles. He’d exposed and worked parts of her body previously undiscovered. As she rested in his arms, her mind drifted to places she wasn’t completely ready to acknowledge.
Physically, she was exhausted, but it was more than that leaving her drained. She was tired of denying something that had been hiding within her for years. She was a submissive and she loved everything they’d done together, but how was she supposed to reconcile that part of her with the person she wanted to be? The two pieces simply didn’t fit.
Regardless of Elias’ assurances he only wanted her obedience in the bedroom, she was terrified that dominance would drift outside those confines. How could it not? Elias was intelligent, powerful, a natural leader, and she was in serious danger of falling under his spell.
She turned to look over her shoulder at him. His eyes, which had been closed, drifted open at her movement.
He smiled, mistaking her actions. “Ready to get out?”
She shook her head. “No. Not yet. Elias, I know you said you want more, but…” She hesitated when she felt Elias’ body tense. Then she took a deep breath and continued. “I honestly can’t offer anything beyond this. Just a few nights. If that’s too much to ask, I’ll understand if you want to call things off, if you want me to leave.”
“Jayne.”
“No. Please. Just let me say this. I know what you want from me and I wish I were capable of giving it to you. But I can’t.”
Elias remained quiet for a long time. In the past, she’d felt comfortable in their companionable silences, but this time, it took all her strength not to fill it with mindless chatter.
Finally he spoke. “I know what you’re capable of, Jayne. I accepted the limits you proposed. We’re going to follow this through to its natural conclusion.”
She tried to dislodge the lump forming in her throat. Elias had addressed her concern.
But while his words said one thing, his eyes said something very different.
Elias walked into Books and Brew early Sunday evening. After his night with Jayne a week earlier, he’d been struggling to maintain any sort of routine or sense of normality. She’d thrown his world on its ear and he didn’t even want to get things back on track.
Last Sunday he’d risen early, intent on finding a way to alleviate her fears about entering a relationship. Unfortunately, he wasn’t sure how to prove her anxiety was misplaced. For that, he needed time. And time was the one thing she wasn’t willing to give him.
So they’d simply lounged in bed all morning as he took her twice more, their escapades almost vanilla in comparison to his usual sexual exploits. He’d discovered that with Jayne, he was happy to merely be with her. He didn’t need her complete compliance every time. There was a beauty in making love that he’d never experienced before her. And Jayne had accepted his soft touches and long kisses as hungrily as she had his rough claiming. She was insatiable and that state was definitely contagious.
He’d dropped her off Sunday afternoon at her apartment, telling her he wouldn’t see her again for a week. He’d had to leave town on Wednesday for a work commitment. Some foolish part of him hoped absence would make her heart grow fonder.
Instead it was his body that grew fonder. While he’d intended to give her time away from him to consider his pursuit, he’d been unable to resist. They’d indulged in long days of honest-to-God sexting. He and Jayne burned up the screens on their iPhones during the days as they enacted some pretty steamy scenes with merely words.
Then each night he called her just before bedtime and coaxed her to orgasm with his dark commands and with the help of some of her own sex toys. He’d jacked off every single night he was away, and most mornings in the shower—and his body still yearned for her.
“Elias.” He looked toward the bar when Sophie called his name. She beckoned him over. “Do you have a second?”
He nodded. “For you, always. I’m surprised to find you manning the bar.”
“Stephanie had a couple errands to run for the wedding. She and Jordan went to visit a woman who makes wedding cakes out of her home.”
He took the stool at the end, swallowing hard when he recalled Jayne naked and bent over it as he spanked her ass.
God, what the hell would he do if Jayne stuck by her assertion that she didn’t want more from him after the end of their five nights? He shook off the concern. He refused to give up. Now that he’d set his course, he was determined to see it through. He was going to claim not only Jayne’s body, but her heart and soul as well. He wouldn’t settle for less.
And in return, he’d offer her the same.
“Jayne said you were going to be her date for Stephanie’s wedding.”
He’d been thrilled when she’d invited him. It was that request that had given him his first spark of hope he’d succeed. “That’s right.”
“And she spent last Saturday night with you.”
While the co-owners of Books and Brew were as close as sisters, there was a part of him that was surprised to hear Jayne was telling tales. She’d always been the more private of the group, playing her cards close to her chest. “Yes.”
“She didn’t tell us. I was guessing and you just confirmed it.”
He narrowed his eyes. “You tricked me.”
She smiled, but he noticed there was no happiness surrounding it. “Jayne’s very tight-lipped when it comes to personal matters. You were supposedly walking her home Saturday night, but then I saw her getting out of your car Sunday afternoon. I would have asked Jayne, but…”
But what? How had Jayne fared this week? He felt as if a thousand stampeding horses had trounced him.
“She’s been too preoccupied. Texting nonstop. With you?”
It was pointless to lie and he didn’t want to. Part of him wondered if Jayne’s friends would be willing to help him in his quest. “Yes.”
“I kind of wanted to talk to you first anyway.”
Sophie was acting odd. Usually she was carefree, easygoing, but there was a tension around her mouth that told him she wasn’t happy about something.
“Talk to me about what?”
“This is completely none of my business and you can tell me to take a flying leap if you want, but, um, I was wondering…I just, well, there’s…” Sophie paused.
“Wondering what?”
Sophie sighed then spoke rapidly, as if talking very fast would make what she had to say less difficult. “Marc represented a woman once who claimed her husband was cheating on her. He did some investigating and ended up following the guy into a local sex club. He said he saw you there. Said you had a woman strapped to some sort of cross thing and you were using a whip on her.”
So much for enlisting Sophie’s help. Her eyes were wide, more than a little bit horrified. Then he recalled a much different look from Jayne when he’d spanked her ass.
Elias leaned forward. “When did Marc see this?”
Sophie shrugged. “A few months ago. He didn’t tell me about it until this week, after I said I’d seen you and Jayne together. He said something about not realizing Jayne was into…” she paused again and this time, she didn’t continue.
“Marc didn’t realize that Jayne was into BDSM?”
Sophie tilted her head. “Is she?”
“That’s not for me to say, is it?”
“You don’t have to say anything. Like I said, it’s totally none of my business. It’s just, she and I have been friends for—well, forever. She’s let things slip from time to time. Taken on their own, they meant nothing to me, but now that I’m left to wonder, it’s all coming together.”
“I’m in love with her, Sophie.”
She smiled and this time the response was genuine. “I know. And she loves you.”
Sophie’s words soothed his mind. He’d suspected Jayne’s feelings. They’d been close friends for years, but it was a far cry from loving someone to being
in love
with them. Elias wouldn’t rest until he had both from her. “She seems very resistant to the idea of a relationship.”
Sophie didn’t look surprised by that. “No. She’d love to have a boyfriend, to be committed to someone, but you’ve got a big mark against you.”
So he’d been told. Even so, he wondered what hurdle
Sophie
thought he was facing. “How so?”
“You’re a very strong, assertive man. Considering the fact you were wielding the whip, I assume that means you’re the…” Sophie struggled to find the word.
He helped her. “I’m a Dom.”
She blew out a long breath. “Wow. Marc tried to explain a bit of what he saw in the sex club. I’m not really up to speed on all that PDMS stuff.”
Elias laughed. “BDSM.”
“Right. Has Jayne ever talked to you about her parents?”
He nodded. “I gather her father is a bit of a bastard?”
Sophie shrugged. “I’ve never heard her say as much, but I know Jayne grew up in a very strict environment. TV time was limited, dinner was fairly formal. I mean my dad and I ate dinner in the living room with our plates on our laps and the TV blaring. Jayne didn’t have those sorts of freedoms.”
“I see. But I’m not sure how that relates to my relationship with her.”
“He was a very strong, hard man. He expected absolute obedience in everything. Jayne had to get straight A’s. B’s weren’t tolerated. She had an early curfew and God help her if she came home late.”
Unease churned in Elias’ gut. “Did he beat her?”
Sophie shook her head. “No. I didn’t mean to imply that. He never lifted a finger against her as far as I know. According to her, the punishment was pretty much just a lot of yelling, belittling comments, locking her in her room, grounding her for months at a time, taking away her phone, TV privileges. I think her childhood is one of the reasons she’s such an avid reader. About the only thing she ever got to keep were her books.”