1.5 True of Blood: Kallen's Tale (12 page)

As her own anger builds, she begins to pull magic. 
Too much magic.
  I can feel the walls around us start to shake
,
as loose rocks both inside and outside of the cave begin to move. 
Part of t
he ceiling above us cracks and is going to come down
. 
O
n us.
  She truly is insane. 

“No!”
I yell, as I cover her body with mine and then roll us to safety, getting hit with several heavy rocks in the process.  And I thought I could not get any angrier with her. 
“I gave up my world to save you and this is how you repay me
.
”

I want to hit her, or use my magic on her, but I find I cannot do either.  As I look down at her beautiful face
twisted in anger
, I do what I realize I have wanted to do since the first time I saw her in the woods.  I kiss her.  I want to be gentle, but my emotions will not let me.  This is a kiss of passion, and in the back of my mind, I know it is one of control.  I want to control her. 

That thought brings me back to reality as her hands push against my chest.  I am horrified.  I have never forced my kiss upon anyone. 
Ever.
  And
I do not want to be the type of
Fairy
that does
.

“Get off me!”
she yells, and I scramble to my
feet.
  I know my face is flaming red, as my mind clears and I realize what a monster I have
just
been. 

“What the hell is wrong with you?”
she demands loudly.  Then, noticing the shaking of loose rock, she lowers her voice.
  “Well?”

I have no response to that.  My first instinct is to divert the conversation as I try to swallow my humili
ation
. 
“You almost killed us by using magic you cannot control,”
I accuse, backing away from her
.

She stalks towards me until she is close enough to jab me in the chest with her finger
, “I wouldn’t have had to do anything if you hadn’t attacked me.”

There is nothing I can say to make this right. 
Taking the coward’s way out, I turn back into a raven and fly away, leaving her with the destruction my actions caused.
 

Chapter 1
3

I fly for hours,
hoping that the
freezing
wind
that has stirred up
will somehow pardon me for my abominable behavior.  When my wings will no longer keep me airborne, I stop to rest on a tree limb overlooking the cave.  I do not know how I am going to face her.  My humiliation runs deep in my bones.

When I am sure she is sleeping, I return to the cave. 
I know that sleep will not find me any time soon, so after changing back to my Fairy
form,
I lean against a wall that is not damaged and watch her.  I feel even worse when I realize that she has cleared away much of the debris.  I should have stayed and done that.  It was my fault the rock slide happened.  If I had left her alone to sleep peacefully, all would have been well. 
But, m
y stupid pride could not stand the thought that a half breed Fairy
, as I called her,
may
be stronger than I am.
  I am sure she hates me, now. 
If she did not already.

The sun is high in the sky when she finally wakes. 
When she notices me, s
he looks at me warily. 
I am surprised to see that t
here is no accusation on her face, but there should be.  I had no right to kiss her.  The words are on my lips to tell her so, but what comes out is, “I will wait outside for you to be ready to practice.”  Then I stand up and leave.  I have never thought of myself as a coward before, but I feel like one right now.

It takes her quite some time to finally come out of the cave.  She looks absolutely beautiful
.  R
efreshed and ready to start her day.  I am sure I look as miserable as I feel.

Continuing my revolting
behavior
, I do not say a word to her.  I
simply
take off my glove and hold my hand out to her.  She grasps
it
and I
immediately s
natch mine
back
as a bolt of lightning rushes up my arm.  She has put her amulet back on.  I
do not blame her; I have shown her that I cannot be trusted.

Now,
I am curious if she is go
ing to take it off to practice.
  I will not ask her to do so.  I am relieved, though
, when she pulls it over her head and returns to the cave with it.  It only takes her a moment and then she is back.  She holds her hand out to me and I grasp it, half hoping she still has it on.  I deserve it.

She does not have the amulet on, so I grasp her hand tighter.  Without a word, she pulls magic into her.  It is only a moment before I feel it coming at me, a force of nature,
an
inferno of pain.  As it burns through me, I hold out as long as I can before my self-preservation insists that I defend myself.  Call
ing
on my own magic, I push against hers.  If I was not holding the circle, I may be able to push harder, but I do not want to draw attention to this part of the mountain by using open magic.  It is several excruciating moments before I have pushed her magic back to her and
I
am
able to make her sleep.  Falling to my knees, I have the dry heaves as my body tries to recover from the attack on it.

It takes her slightly longer to wake herself this time.  When her eyes are finally open, I stand.  Holding my hand out to her, all I can bring myself to say is, “Again.”

She fills with magic again, and again, I am forced to push her magic out of me. I feel as if my body is going to split apart with pain, but I push her out, and again make her sleep.  I collapse onto my back in the snow, hoping she sleeps for a very long time.

I am not that lucky.  She awakens looking none the worse f
or wear.  I feel as if I have been attacked on the inside by Tasmanian devils
.  But, I am not going to quit.  I can take it as long as she can dish it out.  I stand up and hold out my hand. 
“Again.”
 

This time, she seems aware of her magic; she is not caught in the stupor she has been
,
as the magic flows into her.  She seems to sense when her magic is starting to burn me, and now, she is letting me push her magic back into her, which makes me angry.  I do not need her
pity;
I can defend myself against her magic.  When she falls to her knees because my magic is now burning through her, I pull it back and then help her back to her feet. 
“Again.”

She gives me a dirty look as she begins to pull her magic.  This time, I go on the offensive.  I push my magic into her before she even has a chance to let the magic loose.  She tries to pull away, but
I keep hold of her hand.
  “Fight,” I growl.

And she does.  She pulls so much magic, so fast, that my magic is
instantly
pushed back, no longer attacking her.  Her magic is burning even hotter than before, and I know the pain it will cause me if I surrender to it.  I am not going to let her win this.  Making a split second decision, I drop my circle, giving me twice the amount of magic, and I push back. 
Hard.
  The air is on fire between us, waiting for one o
r
the other of us to show the smallest weakness.

If I had been thinking at all, I would have realized what happen
s
when this much magic has no place to go. 
But, I am not thinking, only reacting. 
An explosion rings in my ears as I find myself suddenly flying backwards.  Xandra has been flung the other way.  A sickening thud tells me she hit something other than the soft snow, as I did.

Chapter 1
4

I cannot believe I let my pride control me yet again.  She had better be okay.  I will never forgive myself is she is not.  Rising, I am by her side in a flash.  She is unconscious when I reach her.  “
Xandra,” I
say, brushing her silky hair back from her face.  I repeat her name several times.  Each time she does not respond takes a hundred Cowan years off my life. 

Finally, she begins to stir.
 
“Go away,”
she mumbles.

“Xandra, I need to see how badly you are hurt.  You hit a tree when our magic threw us apart.
”

“Like you care,” I grumble.

I can
understand
why she thinks I am heartless.  I have done nothing except badger her, demean her and her family, and attack her.  I would not believe
that
I care, either.  But, I do.  “
I care very much
.  N
ow please, open your eyes.”

“Go away,”
she says again as she lifts her hand and presses weakly against my chest.

“You have to open your eyes.  I do not know what healing you will need if you do not let me assess your injuries.”

“You hate me, why would you want to heal me?” 

Her voice is stronger this time.  Perhaps she is not as badly injured as I first thought.  With relief in my voice, I say, “
You are stubborn and obnoxious and difficult to manage
,
but I do not hate you.”

Her eyes open the slightest amount. 
“With all that sweet talk, you must be a hit with the Fairy women.”

I cannot help a small chuckle. 
“Your injuries must not be great if you can still disparage me so.”

She opens her eyes again, squinting against the sun, and she tries to sit up.  A hissing sound escapes from her as she quickly lies back in the snow again.  I have had enough broken ribs from my training over the years with Kegan to recognize the symptoms. 
“I believe you may have a broken rib
,
”
I say gently.

“Okay, does that mean I can close my eyes again?  The sun is really bright.”

My mask of worry is broken by a smile again.  “
Yes, you may close your eyes.  I will be right back.” 

Rising from her side, I jog back to the cave.  Her mother had insisted we pack
a number of healing herbs.  I thought she was being a little overly cautious
at the time
, but now I am thankful for them.  If nothing else, they will help alleviate her pain.  Quickly mixing together what I need, and
silently
thanking Tabitha for teaching me this, I have a
poultice for her.  I hurry back outside; she has to be freezing by now.  I should have picked her up and carried her back to the cave. 
Though, broken ribs can be quite dangerous.  Better to assess how badly broken it is before moving her about.

Kneeling down next to her, I unzip her coat and start to lift her sweater.  Her eyes fly open.  “W
hat are you doing?”
she asks, with more worry lines on her face than I care for.  What should I expect?  I have not behaved like a gentleman thus far.

“I need to
put the salve over your wound,” I say, as I carefully move her sweater
again
.  I know that my cheeks are beginning to become flush as I pull it up almost to her breasts.  Her creamy skin is smooth and silky.  An image of me running my hands over it jumps into my brain, and I try hard to squelch it before I do yet another stupid thing. 

“Lay still,”
I say, as I place the poultice over her injured rib
.  “There is the possibility of the rib puncturing your lung if you move the wrong way.”

She does as I say, and
lies
completely still, even when I lay my hand over the wound.  Slowly and gently, I pull magic to activate the ingredients in the poultice.  I will not be able to completely heal her as she did me, but I should at least be able to make sure the bones are well on their way to healing.  That way, there will be no danger of puncturing a lung.
 

“That feels good,”
she says, almost as a purr
.

I cannot help but smile.  Finally, I am doing something nice for her. 
“This is what it feels like when you do it right.”

“Oh,”
she says, and closes her eyes as I continue to do as much as I can to heal her
.

When I can tell I can do no more, I ask,
“How do you feel?”

Slowly, she sits up and tugs her shirt down.  She seems surprised
as
she says,
“It feels good.”

Still consumed by guilt, I want to remove myself from her presence as soon as possible.  I will not, though, until I determine that she will be fine if I am away
.  “You should rest
,” I say.
 
“
Do you need help getting to the cave?”

She shakes her head
.  “No, I can manage.”  I
offer her my hand as she pushes herself up from the ground, but she does not take it.  I watch as she walks gingerly back to the cave. 
When I am comfortable that she is inside and is going to be able to rest, I revert to my
raven form and fly away. 

I check on her several times during the day as she sleeps away the pain.  I am careful not to wake her.  It is not until late afternoon that she finally wakes.  I watch from afar as she makes soup for herself.  Her movements are not as guarded as they were earlier, which I am glad to see.

When her dinner is gone, she reads for a while, and then crawls back into her sleeping bag to rest again.  I fly off, determined to let her sleep
peacefully
as long as possible. 
Eventually,
though,
t
he air becomes too cold as the sun sets, and
I
have to
fly back to the cave. 
This time, I go inside as quietly as possible, still in my raven form.
 

It is not long before she starts to stir
again
.  Stretching as she wakens, she finally opens her eyes.  And then she screams.  Maybe I should not have stayed in this form. 

“You scared the c
rap out of me, you stupid bird,” she complains as she sits up.  She grabs her boots that are next to her and begins to tug them on.  She seems to be more and more annoyed as she does this simple task.  I assume it is my presence that is disturbing her, not her boots.  She confirms it when she says, “
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being, ever yet was blessed with seeing a bird above his chamber door.” 

I am assuming that she is quoting something, but I get the general idea of how she feels about me at the moment.  As she stands up and slips into her coat, she says,
“Funny
,
you’re about two hundred years older than Edgar Allen Poe
,
yet you’ve never heard of him.  You’ve missed out on a lot being locked in the Fae world.” 

I can tell already this is going to be a long night.  I have to try to make things more civil between us, but I am not sure how.  As she leaves the cave, presumably to relieve herself, I take the opportunity to revert to my Fairy form.
  I lean back against the wall of the cave as I assess the damage from last night.  Some of the rocks on the far side of the cave are looking a bit unstable.  I use my magic to create a barrier.  It would not hold against a major cave in, but it should give us enough time to get out if one starts.

Xandra seems surprised to see me when she returns.  She probably assumed that I would fly again.  Actually, she probably wants me to. 
That is made abundantly clear when she sits down on her sleeping bag and begins reading the
grimoire
her mother had given her before we left their home.
  She pays no attention to me, whatsoever.

I cannot stand the silence any longer. 
“I am sorry,”
I say
quietly.  “I am sorry I kissed you.”

To my surprise, she slams the book closed
and glowers at me
. 
“Out of all the things you could have been sorry about, that’s what bothers you the most?  But of course, you must feel dirty since your full-blooded lips touched those of a half-breed.”

I did not see that coming.  I cannot even apologize to her correctly.  What is wrong with me?  I think it is time
again
to give her the privacy she seems to want
, regardless of the weather
.  Standing up, I try to clarify what I
had meant
. 
“I am sorry that I kissed you when I was angry.  You deserve better than that.” 
With that said, I am once again a raven and I fly out of the cave.

I had intended to stay out all night,
mos
tly
because she shows no signs of being tired, but the snow is not cooperati
ng
.  It is starting to fall in such big
flakes
,
I have to shake out my wings every couple of minutes to avoid being buried
by it
.  I have to get out of the storm.  This time
,
I am not going to go into the cave as a coward.  I am going to be myself and face the music, as they say. 

I revert to my Fairy form and jump down, fully clothed, to the ground.  In the fifteen feet I walk to get to the cave entrance, I am already covered with snow.  Just inside the cave, I take off my hat, letting the magic go, and shake the snow from me, as I had when I was a raven. 

“I do not believe this is going to let up any time soon,”
I say, as I sit down and lean against the cave wall.  I am watching her closely for a negative reaction to my presence
.

“Me either,” she says, without any edge
to
her voice.

“How is your rib?”
I ask as I unzip my jacket. 
I do a double take. 
Was she just checking out my chest?

“It’s better.  It’s just the tiniest bit sore.”

“I am glad.”

Out of the blue, she blurts,
“What did you mean when you
said you gave up your world?” 

Now, there is a question I have no desire to answer.  I turn away from her to look out at the storm.  “I was angry; I said things to try to hurt you.”

“Why were you angry?”

Looking back at her, I sigh.  “Must we do this?”

She looks confused.  “Do what?”

“Analyze everything that has happened.  If I give you a blanket apology for all of my behavior since the time we first met, can we simply move forward?”

I have no idea what is running through her mind as she ponders my request.  Finally, she says
, “
Yes.”

Relief washes through me. 
Time for a subject change.
  “Have you learned much from the
grimoire
?”

She nods.  “Some.  I’m still having some trouble with the words.  Sometimes it’s like reading a different language.  I’ve heard some of them before in songs my mom would sing to me
,
but I still don’t know what they mean.”

“Such as?”

“You’re not going to make fun of me for not knowing this stuff, right?” she asks.

I smile.  “I will be on my very best behavior.”

We spend quite some time going over the things that she does not know, and
true to my word,
I am on my very best behavior.  I find that this is not the onerous task I thought it would be.  I like explaining these things to her.  She is curious, and intelligent, and she has a quick wit.  I also have to admit that I like having her undivided attention. 

I find myself relaxing more and more as we talk. She does, as well.  We fall into an easy back and forth as the storm rages outside.  I am even able to convince her to sing one of the lullabies her mother used to sing to her
– w
hich turned out to be the Witches’ creed.  I have to hand it to
mother, she
was creative, if also misguided.

A loud bleating
f
rom just outside the cave makes
her jump and move closer to me
. 
I cannot help but chuckle as we are joined by a mountain goat.
  “It seems we are not the only ones seeking shelter here from the snow.  Unless you care to sleep with a goat, I am going to send him on his way.”

“Please,”
she
says,
her face awash with embarrassment over her initial reaction
.