1.5 True of Blood: Kallen's Tale (13 page)

When I have shooed the goat outside, I take my seat again and she continues to ask me questions. 
 
After a while,
I become distracted as
my mind begins to focus more on
the storm.  The snow is wet and heavy, and some of the rocks around us are still unstable.  I believe the side of the cave we are on now will hold, but I am not sure about the other, where most of the damage occurred
last night
. 

Noticing my wandering attention, she asks,
“What’s wrong?”

I sigh deeply before I say,
“The rock slide that occurred last night has made for an unstable resting place for the snow.  I am concerned that
with
the snow
this heavy, it
may c
aus
e
the already loosened rocks to
shift.”

Guilt spreads across her face, which I do not understand, since I am the one who caused the whole mess.  We do not talk anymore for a while.  We sit in
an
uncomfortable silence
, watching the snow continue to fall
.
  The temperature in the cave continues to drop, and I find myself getting colder in direct proportion to how tired I am getting, since I did not sleep at all last night.  I would still like to wait until she sleeps
,
so I do not make her uncomfortable when I create my own sleeping bag and lie down next to her.  I am sure she is still concerned I will not keep my distance.

Xandra surprises me when she unzips her sleeping ba
g
and motions for me to join her.  I do not think that is a good idea.  I shake my head in response.
“I fear that I would make you too uncomfortable after my poor behavior last night.”

Now
,
she seems annoyed, and I do not know why.  Can I ever win with how I behave around her?
  “Are you planning to behave poorly again?”
she asks.

She looks so cute with that frown on her face
.  “I am not.”

“Then will you please just shut up and get over here?  I’m freezing.”

At this point, I think I would be stupid to say no
again
.  Crawling over to her, I let the magic for my boots go.  She moves over to make room, and I slide into the sleeping bag next to her.  My body temperature
suddenly
rises about thirty degrees, and it has nothing to do with the sleeping bag. 

Since I am sure that she is only being nice, I do my best not to invade her personal space.  I curl my arm up and rest my head on it, trying to keep my body from touching hers.  After a moment, she turns her head, and says,
“You know, it would be a lot warmer if we could zip the bag all the way up
,
but we can’t because you have your arm like that.” 

Reluctantly,
I shift so that my arms are wrapped loosely around her.  As much as I would like to pull her close, I do not. 
We lay
in silence for a long time, but I know by her breathing that she is not any closer to sleep than I am.  Remembering what she said earlier, I break the silence by asking,
“Who is Edgar Allen Poe?”

She laughs. 
“He was a writer around a hundred and fifty years ago or so.  He wrote a very famous poem about a raven.”

“An unflattering poem, I presume, from what you quoted.”

“Actually, the disposition of the narrator of the poem is the central theme.  The raven simply acts as a catalyst for his continued sorrow about the loss of his love.  The raven is only able to say the word ‘nevermore
,
’ and so the narrator keeps asking it questions that will make him feel worse and worse when the raven says that one word.”

“So
,
the raven was not a bad creature?”

“Well, it did supposedly have the eyes of a demon,”
she
tease
s
.

I shake my head. 
“Impossible
.
”

“Really?
  Why is that?”

It is my turn to tease. 
“Demons have eyes that are nothing like a raven’s.”

She turns so that she is facing me.
  “Are you telling me that demons are real?”

“Do not worry; there are no demons here tonight.” 
Except the one lying next to her, thinking of nothing but how I would like to kiss her beautiful lips again
.

“Are you teasing me
,
or are there really demons?”

I laugh
. 
“Oh, so much to learn yet.”

“You’re laughing at my expense again
,
”
she says, but she is not angry.

“I cannot help that you are amusing.”

Something passes through her eyes that I cannot decipher, and then she lifts her head so that her soft lips are pressed against mine.  I am so shocked, I cannot even respond. 
My brain has ceased to function. 
Though, my body is
certainly
full of ideas
. 
It is when Xandra pulls back that my mind clicks back on.  I can see in her eyes that she thought I was rejecting her.  Eager
to dispel that idea, I bring my lips to hers in a slow, languorous kiss.  The type of kiss I have imagined giving her.

Her lips are warm and yielding as I slide my tongue into her mouth.  Now, this is heaven.  But I want more.  Shifting, I move my body over hers, careful not to crush her. 
The feel of her curves pressed against me is almost enough to make me sour over the edge.  My hand is tangled in her hair as I kiss her deeper. 
My mind has no thought other than this moment, this kiss. 
She
wraps
her arms around me, pulling me closer with a small moan that makes me want to run my hands up and down her
body
, savoring every sexy part of her.

Somehow, in the midst of the best kiss I have ever had, my brain decides to start functioning again.  I was sent here to determine if she is a risk to this realm.  I am convinced that she is not, but
how can I pursue her romantically if I have not been completely honest with her.  I have to explain why I was really sent her
e
.  The hardest thing I have ever done is pulling my lips from hers. 

“Dammit,”
I mutter as I shift so that I am next to her, instead of pressed against her glorious body.  My own body needs a moment to recover from its disappointment.

“Sorry,
” she says quietly.
“
I forgot you don’t kiss half-breeds
.
” I
hear the hurt in her voice and I am horrified she
has
assumed the worst.

I put my hand on her shoulder to try to turn her back towards me.  “Xandra, t
hat is not it, I just – I cannot let this happen now.”

She shakes my hand away
.  “I understand
.”

Are those tears I hear in her voice?  Oh, god, I am such an idiot. 
“No, you do not.”

“Sure I do, so let’s just forget this ever happened, okay?  It’s not a big deal.”

There is
a finality
in her voice that tells me that she is not going to believe a word I say right now.  The damage is already done.  I sigh in frustration over my
continued
idiocy.  I cannot believe I screwed this up so badly.

I move towards her, putting us in a spooning position
,
leaving my hand on her shoulder.  I resist the urge to pull her closer.  I think I am pressing my luck with this.  Any moment now, I am sure she is going to tell me to find my own place to sleep. 

Eventually, her breathing becomes slow and even as she falls sleep.  Before I close my
own
eyes,
I whisper in her ear,
“It was a big deal to me.” 

Chapter 1
5

I am awoken abruptly by a hysterical Xandra.  She is shaking me a
s snow falls
off from her
on
to
my warm face.  Assuming the world is ending, I bolt up. 
“What is it?”
I
demand as
I
start unzipping the sleeping bag.

“They’re here, they found us!” 
Oh, she means
Maurelle
and
Olwyn
are near. 
What a relief.  I rub my hands over my face and try to wake up so I can explain why this is not a problem. 

“Aren’t you going to do something?”
she
demand
s
.

Looking back up at
her
,
I
say, “I am.”

She crosses her arms over her chest and glowers. 
“What do you mean, you are?”

Sleep is still clinging to me as I scratch my head and
then
shake it to wake up a bit more. 
“I mean, I am already doing something.  I put up a circle when we first set up camp here.  They can’t detect us because we are between realms.”

She looks more confused than angry now. 
I explain again how a protection circle works. 
After a few moments, and a convoluted example on her part, I believe she understands the concept.

“And you’ve done this since we got here?”

Before I went to sleep last night, I decided I am going to be completely honest with her about everything.  As soon as I get up the courage.  But, I’ll start with this question. 
“With one exception, yes.”

“What exception?”

My eyes are now avoiding hers as if they are yellow snow. 
“When I became angry that I was having trouble pushing your magic from me, I released the circle so I could focus more magic towards defending myself.”

A storm cloud blows onto her face. 
“So, instead of just telling me that you would be stronger if you weren’t maintaining a circle, your pride stepped in and you had to show me
;
even though you know I’m not hurting you on purpose.  And then I end up with a broken rib.  And during that time, if those two Fairies had shown up like they just did, they could have found us.” 

Okay, this is more embarrassing than I thought it would be.  Words are refusing to cross my tonsils, so I just nod.  There’s a typhoon on her face now. 
“You’re an ass
,” she says.

There is not really anything to say in response to that, so I choose to ignore it.  Standing up, I use my magic to create boots again, preparing for the day.  And considering the way it has started, it is going to be a long, long day.

I am even more blindsided when she says,
“If you can make your clothes appear and disappear so easily, why can’t you make your own sleeping bag?”

Complete honesty.  Maybe I’ll start that later.  This does not seem like the right time
to be honest about this
. 

She is
obviously
getting impatient waiting for my answer.  She is tapping her foot on the cave floor. 
“Well?”

I try hard not to smile as I say,
“Magic can protect one from many things
,
but extremely cold temperatures are difficult
,
and one must use a large amount of magic to ensure warmth.  Using that much magic on a sleeping bag that could keep me as warm as yours would have affected the integrity of the circle I am holding.”
  If I was
back
home, Tabitha would be smacking me in the back of the head
again
about now.

I can tell she does not believe me, but she lets it go.
“How do you think they managed to get so close to us if they can’t detect us in this circle?”
she asks.

This time, I have to be honest. 
“I should not have allowed you to test your magic outside of a circle
. 
N
either the first time you tried
,
nor yesterday morning.
  I incorrectly assumed that because Cowan Fairies are weaker, that a Witch Fairy would be as well.  But you are not
,
and because your magic is so strong, the runners are probably able to sense it.”

Did I say typhoon? I think I am about to be hit by a tsunami
of mammoth proportions
. 
“Good thing that pride of yours had to kick in so you could prove you’re stronger than me, huh?” 

Perhaps I need to try a different approach.  Walking over to her, I say
softly
,
“That is yet to be determined.”

She is surprised. 
“So, what, I could be stronger than you?”

I am beginning to think so. 
“You have not come into your full magic yet.  That will take years.”
  At least, that is how it is supposed to work.
  Unfortunately, nothing about her is going as it is supposed to go.

She looks a little green, now. 
“You mean my magic could get stronger?  But I can’t control what I have now, what will I do if there’s more of it
?
”

Good question. 
“Let’s just worry about what you have now
.
”
And I will try my best to keep her from causing mass destruction.

Xandra looks around nervously. 
“Can we practice with them so close?”

“Other than when I intentionally let the circle go, it held while you practiced.  We should be fine.”

She looks doubtful, but does not say anything more about it while we make breakfast.  She is nervous, jumping at every little sound.  I would love to wrap my arms around her and hold her close, but I need to take things slow.  And tell her the truth.
 
Soon.

When we begin to practice,
Xandra
has a breakthrough.  S
he can control her magic slightly better
, and s
he is pulling it back when it starts to bleed over towards me.  My insides appreciate it. 
A lot.

After
a particularly good effort of letting her magic go
without causing harm, she asks,
“How was that?”

I nod. 
“Much better.
  Now, do it again.”
  She gives me a sour look, though I do not know why.

I think I spoke too soon.  She is struggling to control her magic again, and it is coming towards me in a hurry.  Pulling as much magic as I can while
I
hold the circle, I slam into it, sending it back to her.  She takes it back within her and lets it flow back to the earth.  Exactly what she should have done, I am proud of her.

Smiling, I say,
“Now
,
what I’d like you to
do
,
is fill yourself with only the amount of magic you can hold
,
and then keep it at that level for as long as you can.  This will help you learn to hold magic for long periods of time for things like
clothes
or keeping up a circle as I am.”

She nods and closes her eyes to concentrate on my instructions.  I feel her pulling magic and she is struggling, but she holds it at bay. 
For a while.

I am just about to tell her to let it go, when I feel her control slipping.  I use my magic to push against hers, but that does not seem to be enough this time.  I feel the microsecond when she loses all control.  The air is filled with explosive magic
again
,
threatening to
harm us both if we cannot get it under control.  I throw as much as I can at her, but she responds with
even
more force.

“Let go,”
I grind out under the strain of fighting her magic. 
“Xandra, you must let it go
.
”

“I can’t,”
she
say
s,
between
her own
gritted teeth.  “It won’t let me.”

Damn it, I know she can do this. 
“You control the magic, it does not control you.”

Her voice sounds desperate, as she says,
“I can’t push it out of me
;
it won’t go.”

If this magic explodes, it is going to cause an avalanche. 
“Xandra, I cannot keep you at bay much longer without letting go of the circle
.  L
et it go!”
I
bark
out.  But, she does not.  I wait as long as I can, but I have to
do it.  I have to
let the circle go.  The second I do, and my magic increases to full strength, rushing towards hers, the air around us is sucked up in a vacuum, taking away our oxygen.  And then
,
as if it using the void created by the vacuum as a springboard, the magic bursts outwards, causing a ripple effect as all the trees bend and snow is lifted right off the ground.  That snow now needs someplace to go, and down is the logical choice.  About a ton of snow rushes towards us.  I quickly pull more magic, not wise in this turbulent situation, but I am able to control
it
enough to form a small protection circle around Xandra and
me. 
I wrap my arms around her and pull her close
.  She covers
her ears as the blast echoes back to us.  We fall to the
ground as the snow blankets over our body.

Xandra begins to panic, struggling against me. 
“Stop,”
I say softly in her ear
.  “Let me remove the snow.”

She does what I ask, and stops moving
, but she is still shaking
.  I pull more magic, and I will the snow above us to find new targets. 
I have to be careful, if I do this too quickly, all the unstable spots around us will spread more snow upon us. 
Slowly, the blanket thins enough that I can push through it.  I stand, bringing Xandra with me.  When we are free, she is taking deep, rasping breathes as she tries to overcome her panic. 

Turning her towards me, I look her over
.  “Are you hurt?”
She does not answer me, so I shake her a little
.  “Xandra, are you hurt?”

Her breathing begins to ease and she shakes her head. 
“No
.
”
  Her eyes are like saucers when she looks up at me. 
“Why couldn’t I let it go?”
  She is shaking, and there is fear in her eyes.  Fear of
her own
magic.

My face becomes a grim picture. 
“I do not know.  I have never known of a Fairy who could not willing
let his or her magic seep back into the earth at will.”

She looks desperate. 
“But I couldn’t, I swear.  I tried
,
but it wouldn’t go back!”

I believe her; I just do not know what to do about.  And there are other things for us to worry about at the moment. 
“I know you did, I felt it.  But I need you to calm down.  We need to go.”

Now, she is even more confused. 
“Go?  Go where?”

We do not have time for lengthy explanations. 
“Anywhere but here.”

“Why?”

Okay, she needs to get it together.  Raising my brows, I wave my arm around us, indicating the precarious position we are currently in. 
“Xandra
,
i
t is not safe to stay here.  We have to go.  More
snow could fall at any
moment.” 
We have to get as far away from here as possible.
 
Right now.

“What about our things?”
she asks, looking back towards the cave.

I am trying hard not to get frustrated with her, but it is getting harder. 
“I believe we need to be more worried about the runners
.
”

“You mean they can track us now?”

I nod with my lips pressed tightly together
.  “I let go of my circle
.  A
nd even though they are not strong enough to sense me, they may be able to sense you
,
because of your Witch’s blood.  And an avalanche of this size caused by magic is hard to miss.”

She has tears in her eyes
.  “I’m sorry.”

Here I go, making her feel terrible again, when I am the one to blame. 
“It is not your fault that I keep underestimating your power
,
and overestimating your control over it.  I will not make that mistake again.  But
,
we will worry about that after we take our leave.”