Read 150 Movies You Should See Before You Die Online

Authors: Steve Miller

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150 Movies You Should See Before You Die (50 page)

Answer: B. Schwarzeneggar starred in three comedies directed by Reitman, but
Father's Day
wasn't one of them.

SGT. KABUKIMAN, N.Y.P.D.
Namco Ltd./Troma Entertainment, 1990

PRODUCERS
Tetsu Fujimura and Masaya Nakamura (executive producers), Michael Herz and Lloyd Kaufman (producers)

WRITERS
Lloyd Kaufman, Andrew Osborne, and Jeffrey W. Sass (script), Lloyd Kaufman (story), Fumio Furuya and Satoshi Kitahara (original characters)

DIRECTORS
Michael Herz and Lloyd Kaufman

STARS
Rick Gianasi (
Harry Griswold/Sgt. Kabukiman
), Susan Byun (
Lotus
), Bill Weeden (
Reginald Stuart/the Evil One
), and Thomas Crnkovich (
Rembrandt
)

After he becomes host to an ancient Kabuki spirit, Detective Harry Griswold (Gianasi) finds himself with a new calling in life and even stranger new superpowers. But can the lovely Lotus (Byun) convince Griswold of his new responsibilities before the Evil One (Weeden) brings an ancient prophecy to pass?

Why It Sucks

Sgt. Kabukiman, N.Y.P.D.
is split between the usual Troma R-rated off-color humor and a PG-13 approach. But although it's technically one of Lloyd Kaufman's best pictures — he actually had a budget for special effects this time — his attempt to be both mild and spicy means it ends up being mostly bland.

Thumbs Down Rating:

The Crappies

The Worst Picture Award goes to …
Michael Herz and Lloyd Kaufman for failing to deliver on what could have been Troma's ticket to a wider audience.

And the Worst Auteur Award goes to …
Lloyd Kaufman for not having the sense to refrain from including his hallmark headcrushing and off-color humor. It feels forced here, especially during the film's climax.

They Really Said It!

Harry Griswold
[narrating]: I was depressed, I was confused, and I was turning Japanese!

Betcha Didn't Know

Although completed in 1990, the film was only shown at film festivals for several years. The distribution deal with investor Namco fell through after the company was unhappy with the final product. No theatrical distributor would take the film until 1996.

Sgt. Kabukiman has shown up in several other Troma projects, usually portrayed as a miserable alcoholic. The meta-joke is that the difficulties surrounding his movie drove him to depression and drink.

Trivia Quiz

What film industry trade association was Lloyd Kaufman elected president of in 2008?

A: Motion Picture Association of America

B: Independent Film & Television Alliance

C: American Society of Screenwriters

D: Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers

Answer: B. The IFTA consists of more than 200 film producers and distributors. Under Kaufman's leadership, it has been highly critical of the concentration of media outlets in only a few corporate hands.

ULTRACHRIST!
LeisureSuit Media, 2003

PRODUCER
Jordan Hoffman

WRITERS
Kerry Douglas Dye and Jordan Hoffman

DIRECTOR
Kerry Douglas Dye

STARS
Jonathan C. Green (
Jesus/Ultrachrist
), Jordan Hoffman (
Archangel Ira
), Celia A. Montgomery (
Molly
), and Samuel Bruce Campbell (
Parks Commissioner A. C. Meaney
)

Jesus Christ (Green) returns to Earth to resume his ministry but finds that no one in New York City is willing to pay attention to his message. After a marketing executive he meets in a bar convinces him he needs a flashier image, he gets a disillusioned fashion designer (Montgomery) to design and sew a spandex superhero costume for him. Thus decked out, Jesus hits the streets to combat sin.

Why It Sucks

It's a very silly movie with a total misfire of an ending that ends up wiping out what good feelings viewers might have had toward the film up to that point. The film was going along just fine, with Jesus facing off against the Anti-Christ's Legion of Ultimate Evil (consisting of Adolph Hitler, Vlad the Impaler, Richard Nixon, and Jim Morrison of The Doors), and thwarting his Father's plans to embarrass him. But then Dye had to try to poke fun at the oldtime movie trope of “let's put on a show to save the day.” And at that point
Ultrachrist!
veers from merely silly to ultra-insipid.

Thumbs Down Rating:

The Crappies

The Worst Director Award goes to …
Kerry Douglas Dye for ending the film with an overlong, badly mounted spoof of the Andy Hardy movies.

And the So Fake-Looking It's Probably Real Award goes to …
The beard sported by Jonathan C. Green in his role as Ultrachrist!

They Really Said It!

Jesus
: The crucifix is the symbol of Christianity? I hated the crucifix! Ouch!

Betcha Didn't Know

Jonathan C. Green was a practicing attorney before becoming an actor.

When the crew shot scenes in Times Square, no one seemed fazed by a bearded man in cape and a brightly colored spandex costume. Some tourists even asked for Ultrachrist's autograph, assuming he was a local celebrity.

Trivia Quiz

Which of these actors have not portrayed Jesus on film?

A: Max von Sydow

B: Jeremy Sisto

C: Bela Lugosi

D: James Caviezel

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