18 Thoughts (My So-Called Afterlife Book 3) (42 page)

“If that’s what she wants when all of this is over, I promise I won’t stand in your way.”

When I returned home from the bowling alley, I wasn’t in a rush to meditate like usual. Instead, I ate dinner with my parents for the first time in a month. Then I dusted off my Bible and read through the story of Joseph and spent time praying. For once, I wasn’t anxious. I knew I’d get to Limbo tonight.

After a few minutes of meditation, I felt the shift in the air, a dull coldness. Wincing, I formed my eyes into slits. Just like when Riel visited, I remained in my room, everything clothed in shadows. Immediately, I called upon angel help like Conner had. The same rainbow-colored being came to me. I had to admit, I was a little disappointed there weren’t any unicorns to take me to my destination. The angel did not speak, only stared down at me on the floor. After I explained why I needed his help, there was suffocating darkness for a moment before a blinding light came, like a rapid sunrise. Heart pounding, I opened my eyes. I sat in a metal chair in an unfamiliar room with gray carpet, white plaster walls, and extreme fluorescent lights.

I looked around for someone to talk to, but the room remained empty. There were no windows, only one door with a number eight on it. Sweeping my hand through my hair, I called out a hello, but nobody answered. For a moment, I freaked out. I had no idea what Limbo was, how long I’d once lived here, what to do now. My and Olga’s files said Dr. Judy on it… Would I find her here somewhere?

Guess there’s only one way to find out.

Swallowing back my fear, I took a deep breath, slowly made my way to the door, then opened it. I padded down a wildly long, vaulted-ceilinged hallway lined with numbered doors until something slapped me on the back. I jerked forward.

“Took you long enough.”

After catching my balance, I turned around. “Riel? What are you doing here?”

“I live here.”

I sucked in a surprised breath. “Why didn’t you just take me to Limbo when you left the first time?”

He ruffled my hair and laughed. “You had to let go of some things you were holding on to first.”

I stood there, looking at him for a few minutes.

“Disappointed? Were you expecting someone else?”

I shook my head, then nodded. “Dr. Judy’s name was on my file.”

Riel shrugged. “She did counsel you during your Limbo timeline, but I’m the one who orchestrated your experience. And when your time was up, you came here to my headquarters to help others in the Limbo plane. Come on.”

He nodded toward the door at the end of the hallway, and I followed behind him. “Do you often bring people to your headquarters to live when their… time is up?”

Waving a dismissive hand, he admitted, “Not usually.”

Of course, no real answers out of him still.

“Ah, here we are.” He opened the door to sunshine, green grass, flowers everywhere, and a fresh breeze. “Welcome to my home. I do believe you may find what you’re looking for over that way.”

Before I could follow the direction of his finger, he caught me up by the waist in one swift motion and took to the sky, his wings spread wide.

“What are you doing?” I yelled.

“Oh, come on, pretty boy. Don’t tell me you’re afraid of heights?”

For the first time in forever, I might’ve laughed. “Yeah, right. You just caught me by surprise. This is kind of… weird.”

“I’m sure you meant to say totally awesome or whatever the kids are saying these days.” He nodded down below to illustrate.

Surveying the scene beneath me, I saw brick courtyards with fountains, plants of all descriptions tumbling in green profusion, a veranda shaded with movable awnings, picnic tables, hammocks, wicker rocking chairs, plastic lounges, poplar trees like the ones I had planted for Mom in our yard, trees bearing apples and lemons and oranges and avocados, tomato and pepper plants, chrysanthemums and tulips and geraniums, ferns, rose arbors, pine trees, cinder paths shaded by tall oaks circling the entire property. It was paradise.

“Yep, totally awesome.”

“Exactly, pretty boy.”

“Is this where the Garden of Eden was?”

Riel sighed. “I wish. You can’t even imagine that kind of beauty. But unfortunately, you humans have a way of screwing everything up. I do admire your green thumb, though. Not typical for a boy your age.”

“How do you know I like to garden?”

He dumped me unceremoniously onto a dock. “Are you seriously going to question my vast amount of knowledge after everything that’s happened?”

“Sorry,” I said, standing up and dusting myself off. “Us humans are a little slow.” I winked at him.

“Don’t wink. People will think you’re up to no good.” He gestured to the lake and surrounding beach with his hands. “You had a special… moment here. I’ll give you some time to walk around and find something to mark your territory.” Pushing his robe to the side with a flourish, he sat on the dock and dipped his feet into the pond as his wings folded in on his back.

Sunlight sparkled against the water as I shuffled to the small patch of sand to the left of the dock, warmth radiating up through my feet. People… or angels… were busy splashing and dunking each other in the lake, filling the air with shrieks. I crossed my arms over my chest, thinking how unreal all of this was. Instead of stressing over my lost sense of time, I filled myself with the smell of the fresh air and the peacefulness of this place. It was the closest I’d ever been to Zen. Already shoeless, I shuffled into the water. A net of slimy weeds snagged at my legs as the waves gently slapped against the shore, spraying my cargo shorts. Studying the bottom of the lake, I bent down and picked up a few white rocks near my feet. My heartbeat sped up. I watched as one pebble I threw skipped over the surface once, twice, three times before blurting out, “Found it!”

Riel flew to where I stood and stared at my hand clutching the pebbles. “A rock?”

I cleared my throat. “Is that an acceptable item to mark my territory?” Crossing my fingers, I prayed he said yes. I was so tired of screwing up. Apparently, I said those last words aloud without realizing it.

Riel grinned. “Resist the temptation of being troubled. Make yourself vulnerable. Only then do you become strong. Just look how easy everything was today.”

Shaking my head, I told him, “You know that goes against every worldly wisdom out there, right?”

“Trust me. I haven’t let you down so far, have I?”

His eyes glittered with the mischief of knowing things I didn’t, but before I could answer, he called for the angel to take me home.

“After all, what’s a life, anyway?
We’re born, we live a little while, we die.”
—E.B. White,
Charlotte’s Web

Olga

couldn’t remember when I’d felt so tired. All I wanted to do was sleep, which would be understandable. It was my only way of escaping everything happening to me. But my breasts were swollen, and I craved vegetables.
Vegetables!
I never craved healthy foods before. The procedure that sleazy doctor performed on me exactly thirty days ago was stuck on repeat in my head, in Sam’s too. So after school today, he asked Nic to stop at the Meijer’s store on the way home.

She nudged my side with her elbow. “Sure. You need something for your hot date with Conner tonight?”

At lunch today, he’d asked me to a romantic picnic in Duncan Woods at midnight. If I were me, I would’ve told him he was being creepy as hell. But I wasn’t me, and the thought of sneaking out and meeting Conner there excited Sam, so he accepted the weird invite.

“Yeah.”

He turned to look at her. A piece of her black hair flew in the slight breeze coming in from the cracked windows in her car. I felt Sam’s desire to kiss her, and I fought it with all my might, knowing I couldn’t make him do anything. Especially now. I was so darn tired.

Sam chuckled on the inside as Nicole pulled into a parking spot up front meant for expectant mothers. My pulse sped up, wondering if Nic had somehow already discovered my deepest, darkest secret.

“You’ll be quick, right? This special parking is so dumb anyway.” She brought out her “now hear this,” pissed-off voice. “Let’s push feminism back a hundred years and declare you can’t walk when you’re preggo! We are so not using these spaces when we actually do get pregnant, a very long time from now, of course. We’re better than those losers who get knocked up during high school.”

Sam let a snort escape my lips. “I know, right? I’ll be right back. You need anything?”

His seductive gaze moved down the length of her legs, clothed in black fishnet stockings today.

Nic cleared her throat, seeming to notice. “Um, I’m good.”

“Yeah, you are.”

Her eyes bulged. “Are you okay?”

Laughing, Sam got out and headed straight to the feminine hygiene department. He glanced around to make sure nobody was looking and shoved an early pregnancy test in my purse.

“Don’t want any of the outstanding citizens of our small town blabbing about their high school valedictorian getting knocked up,” he mumbled under his breath to me.

“Olga?”

Sam jumped. “Conner? What are you doing here?”

He gestured to the shopping cart that contained four candles. “Just gathering some things for our date tonight. How about you?”

Acting as if nothing was unusual, Sam turned and grabbed the largest box of condoms on the nearby shelf. “Same.”

Conner’s eyes went wide, and it took a minute before he could speak again. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” Sam slipped an arm around Conner’s back, then dropped the box into his cart. “I’ll let you take care of these. See you soon.” Sam kissed Conner’s cheek, then patted him on the butt before leaving.

After Nic dropped us off, Sam went straight to the bathroom and locked the door. He pulled out the box. Opened it. Read the instructions. Took out the strip. Removed the cap. Tried to pee but couldn’t. Sighing, he shoved everything back into my purse and walked to the kitchen.

“It’s super annoying you don’t have that frequent urination thing yet. What do you want to drink, darling?”

Coffee. It’s a natural diuretic, after all.

Plodding to the kitchen, Sam pulled a bag of Starbucks Caramel from the canister and measured out two tablespoons of the ground coffee. A minute later, the stimulating rush of brewing drew me out, brushing off the stress of the moment. Unusually kind, Sam even coated my Harry Potter mug with caramel syrup before pouring in the coffee, then topped it off with whipped cream and more caramel drizzle.