18 Thoughts (My So-Called Afterlife Book 3) (43 page)

“Cheers, love. We’ll have something to celebrate with Conner tonight. And this way, if someone does discover the pregnancy, you’ll have someone to blame.”

I almost chuckled as I remembered the words on the coffee cup, “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.” For Conner’s sixteenth birthday, he’d asked his parents to take me and him to the opening of the Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Orlando. He gave me the cup as a way of announcing our summer trip. I knew he didn’t even care about being there for opening day, but he knew I’d never have the money to go on my own. He always had my best interest at heart.

He won’t let you seduce him.

“No, not me. But he’ll let you. He’s wanted nothing more than your hot little body ever since I’ve known him.” He ran my finger around the rim of the mug, then took a sip of the sweet goodness, and I groaned. “Oh, you like what Daddy gives, don’t you?”

He was on his third gulp when something felt off, sending him rushing back to the bathroom. After vomiting into the toilet, he smiled at me in the mirror as he wiped my mouth with a washcloth. “I don’t think we need this little test to confirm things, but let’s take it anyway, just for kicks.”

After urinating, he laid the strip on the counter, then sat down on the edge of the bathtub, scrolling through my and Conner’s old text messages on my phone while we waited the five minutes. It was the longest five minutes of my life, and given everything that happened this past year, that really said something. When time was finally up, Sam jumped up to look at the stick, which now had two stripes. Again, he looked at the directions, letting out a whoop at the confirmation two stripes meant positive.

Inside, I shrank smaller and smaller, suffocating, feeling like I was being sucked into an oblivion I could never return from. I couldn’t think of any way to fight back. My prayers went unanswered these days. What would happen to my soul if Sam managed to hold on to my body for more than half a year? Would I be sent to heaven or hell? Maybe I was already damned for inviting him in on my own.

Twisting and turning, I tried to break free, but I felt so drained. Heaven, hell, or simply vanishing from the face of the planet would be better than this anyway.

“Even when you think you have no more to give,
you will find the strength to help a friend.”
—Nate’s Thoughts

Conner

ulping the cold air, I tried to slow my breathing to listen for any strange sounds as I lit the fourth candle. Nate walked around the tiny square with catlike grace, and I thought again how I would’ve figured he was gay if I didn’t know better.

Wishful thinking.

The air smelled of matches, olive oil, sage, frankincense, and myrrh. I pulled out my phone and used the flashlight app to examine the lay of the land, but Nate waved it away.

“We don’t want to call any more attention to us being here than needed.”

Surveying the area in darkness, I couldn’t help but notice how the moss slowly swaying in the chilly breeze looked like dead bodies hanging from the skeletal tree branches. The clouds parted and revealed the full moon, but the added light did nothing to quell the anxiety churning in my stomach. A gush of wind blew hard, and I held on to my Nike toboggan so it wouldn’t fly off my head. I thought my hat’s slogan,
Just Do It
, was appropriate for tonight. But then the breeze carried the sound of howling that sent chills down my spine, and I wanted to sprint in my Nike shoes to get the heck out of here instead.

“Please tell me there are wolves in these woods,” Nate whispered, checking his watch.

“Because you want to get mauled to death?”

He shrugged. “If you ask me, sounds better than what we’re about to do.”

Turning my face away from the bitter wind, I was about to respond with a comeback when I figured,
What’s the point?
He was right, and he could probably hear how hard my heart pounded anyway, so playing cool wouldn’t work this time.

A minute later, I tensed when I heard a loud thump. I turned my head just in time to see Nate’s body crumple to the ground, Olga standing over him with the shovel I’d brought. For a moment, we stood looking at each other, and then she narrowed her eyes, now black instead of blue, to the square with the lit candles around me. There was little sound in the forest, only our breathing fogging in the air and the wind sliding through trees.

Olga jerked her head toward the square. “This is your idea of a romantic picnic? Bringing my ex to watch? I like it. Very voyeuristic of you.”

I rolled up my shirtsleeves, knowing there was no use in pretending any longer. “You always did have a good vocabulary.”

She smiled, a disarming grin edged with darkness. “Wait until you hear what I have to say next.”

Using words I never heard before and didn’t understand, she called out, sounding like a hissing snake.

I assumed this was the part where Sam called upon evil spirits to help, and my suspicions were confirmed a minute later. Behind Olga, larger shapes lumbered, and though I couldn’t see them clearly, I knew they watched me. I reached out, my fingers trembling as I began to speak to Olga’s spirit.

“Olga, I know you’re in there. Please fight the darkness and come back to me.”

She growled in response.

On the periphery of my vision, I saw more things rushing through the darkness from the cemetery. Things that were large, dark, and fast and seemed to weigh me down with their presence. My heart thumped painfully. A spike of adrenaline tightened in my chest as I vowed to protect Olga at all costs. My gaze darted to follow the odd forms, measuring them up to see what it’d take to defeat them. They walked with the lopsided grace of a hunchback and had too many limbs to be human. I gulped.

Olga paced back and forth in front of my square, her red hair still bright in the darkness.

I met her gaze, focusing on my love for her. “Olga, I’m here. Nate is here. We found a way to save you, but you have to kick the demon out yourself. We can’t cast him out for you, since you invited him in. Fight, Olga. I know you can do this. Come home before it’s too late.”

The dark shapes in the distance moved closer, until they lined the entire perimeter of my small square. I didn’t need to look down to know my whole body trembled as the dark figures murmured along with Sam, making my eardrums thunder. A figure, one of the peculiar ones with too many limbs, stepped to the line, threw his head back, and growled. His face, hallow and scathed, assured me the threat of danger was real. Clearly, he’d been in a few fights during his lifetime. But true to Riel’s word, I remained protected; the demons seemed unable to cross the line.

Unsure of what to do next, I prayed aloud. Just simple words from my heart because it was all I had now that Nate remained out cold. He was supposed to be inside the square, helping me, and the truth that I stood alone in this hit me like a million pinpricks all over my body. Except the figure stepped back from the line and yelped, as if my words actually burned him. The other figures whipped their heads about, but no words spewed from their mouths anymore. And I knew the angels must be at work doing warfare, too, even though I couldn’t see them. It was now or never.

“Olga, I love you. You haven’t lost yet. You’re not alone in this. I’m right here. Don’t surrender. Please, Olga. Fight back. Focus on all the good things in your life, on my belief in you, even if you doubt yourself. Use the good to push out the evil.”

Olga inhaled sharply, and then her body flung onto the ground as if shoved from within. For a moment, she lay so still I thought she was dead. When I was almost ready to leave the safety of my square and go to her, she turned her head toward mine, her eyes shimmering with blue even though the rest of her body remained still and cloaked in shadows.

“Conner,” she said through a clenched jaw, as if speaking brought her great pain.

My heart filled with emotion at seeing my best friend lying face down on the cold ground, shivering as though she’d fallen into the freezing waters of Lake Michigan, fighting for her life because of me once more.

Her head lifted higher, and she inched her body closer to me before something within her chuckled, and her eyes turned black again. “You think you can save yourself? For what? A life of continued suffering. I can give you fame, success, wealth, and power beyond your wildest dreams. I can make you a
New York Times
bestseller, a Pulitzer prize winner, anything you desire and more.”

I shook my head violently. “Olga, if there’s one thing I’ve learned this past year, it is a person who lives only for himself destroys himself. He’s pure evil, trying to lead you down the road of worldly prizes, and none of it will last, Olga. We know that now more than ever. I visited the Underworld while you’ve been away. I met angels. I saw how vast and wide this universe is. I know it’s hard, but fight back. We only suffer here a little while, and then there’s a whole other world God has waiting for us.”

Olga gagged and coughed, fighting, but her eyes remained black as Sam spoke. “A lifespan of sixty to eighty more years is still a long time to suffer.”

Her body jerked on the ground again, her eyes turning blue once more as she found the strength to stand. “Conner, I’ve never been more scared. I feel so tired and small. I don’t know how much more I can take. And now I’m…”

I looked directly into her eyes and stretched my arms forward, willing all the love I had for her to be felt in the deepest part of her soul.

She placed a hand protectively over her stomach. “I’m afraid. Sam impregnated me with a demon. If I kick him out, my body won’t be able to take the changes. I’m dead either way. Just save yourself before you or Nate gets killed.”

Nate stirred at the mention of his name, but he didn’t get up. I wondered if he could hear her confession.

“What?” The tightness in my throat barely let me get the word out.

“I’m pregnant,” she whispered.

Her two little words weighed me down, and I couldn’t think of what to say in response. Something flipped in my stomach, and I thought I’d puke. I wanted to reach across the olive oil line and choke Sam out of her, but that wasn’t possible. My throat ached with contained sobs and screams, but I forced out a calm response. One of us had to think straight. “You’ve been through too much to die now. There has to be a reason we survived all these things. Why we died and came back. You must be significant. Your best days are ahead, the worst behind you. I just know it. Nate was telling me about the story of Joseph, how God can bring good out of the worst evils. Don’t you owe it to yourself to see what all the fuss was about? I have faith God won’t let you die after everything you’ve been through. We’ll figure something out.”

Olga’s eyes burned, turning back to black once again. She bowed her head toward me. “I hate to tell you this, but the horrific human condition encountered by God in the Garden of Eden still exists and has multiplied. There are wars, drugs, crime, famine, homeless, families falling apart, the environment trashed. Don’t you see your world is a place filled with trouble, suffering, loss, grief, anguish, death? I can erase your pain and suffering, Olga. You won’t have to feel a thing, just sit back and enjoy the ride. This life isn’t worth it. I alone can give you the life you deserve.”