2 Unhitched (19 page)

“Rump, you must stop blaming yourself,” I tell him, brushing away his tears.

“I’ve told him it’s meant to be,” says Winnie. “That nature has her way of making things happen for a reason.”

I’m not sure it’s meant to be, but I do believe that God took Elz and Rump’s firstborn for a good reason. Not as a punishment. But as a blessing.

“Rump, there was something not right with the baby. Elz lost it so that it did not have to come into this world and bear the pain you bore as a child.”

Rump’s forlorn eyes look up at me, and I can tell that he’s replaying memories of his childhood, many of which he’s shared in our EPA meetings. Years of mean-spirited youngsters mocking him for his deformities—his dwarfed body, big bulbous nose, and large protruding ears. No, Rump would not want to have a child who had to endure his pain.

For the first time, Rump smiles. It’s a faint smile, but nonetheless a smile. Winnie and I exchange a look of relief.

“Jane,” says Rump, “I b-beg you to talk to Elzmerelda.” His stuttering has lessened. “She’s in-c-consolable. She won’t even talk to m-me.”

I draw the little man close to me. “Give me ten minutes and then go to her.”

Elz is in the bedroom she shares with Rump, her pillar-like body bundled under a fluffy white comforter. Her face is wan and tear-stained. Her sobs are needles in my heart.

Quietly, I slip into bed with her. Under the covers. Just like I did when her mother died at Faraway. Her long, limp body is cold. Like something inside her has died.

“Elz, you must stop crying,” I say softly, smoothing her damp, matted hair.

She bawls louder. “Rump wanted the baby so badly,” she splutters between sobs. “I’ve let him down.”

“No, no, you haven’t. He thinks it’s all his fault.”

Elz abruptly stops crying. “It’s
not
his fault!” She jerks herself up to a sitting position.

I hastily plump up pillows and gently lower her to a resting position. “Elz, it’s no one’s fault. Sometimes these things happen for a good reason.”

“Jane, what was your miscarriage like?” she asks weakly.

My
miscarriage
. The blood, the pain, the sorrow. I relive it almost every night. A sickening feeling sweeps over me.

“Elz, what you’ve gone through is tragic and not any less tragic than what I went through. But thank goodness, you didn’t have to give birth to a stillborn child. Hold its lifeless little body in your arms and then have it taken away from you forever.” My eyes grow watery. I take a deep breath to stifle an onslaught of tears.

“Jane, you poor thing!” cries Elz. It’s just like Elz to think more about others than herself in her moment of need. Still weak, she bolsters herself up and wraps her spindly arms around me. I draw her close to me, and we rest our heads on each other’s shoulders. We’re bonded like sisters.

Elz looks up at me. “We didn’t have a girl’s name picked out, but were going to name the baby, if it was a boy—”

“Bob,” says Rump as he swings open the bedroom door and teeter-totters toward us.

“Bob?” I exclaim as I slip out of the bed. “That’s one of the funniest name I’ve ever heard.”

Elz immediately comes to Rump’s defense. “Rump wanted our son to have a name that was easy to say, and everyone could remember. Even if you spell it backward, it’s still Bob.”

B-O-B. B-O-B. What do you know, she’s right.

Rump climbs onto the bed and runs his stumpy fingers through Elz’s long mousy hair. Their eyes meet and then they kiss. A passionate kiss that has no shame. My skin prickles. They make such an odd couple but such a perfect one.

“Elzy, we’re going to have Baby Bob one day,” declares Rump without a trace of a stutter.

“Rumpster, maybe we should think of another name,” says Elz in her almost back to normal singsong voice.

I slip out of the room, leaving the two lovebirds alone. Embracing. They don’t notice me leaving.

My short-lived sense of relief is replaced by malaise as I head back to Winnie. How lucky Elz is to have Rump. A man who loves her unconditionally! Who yearns to have her baby! Gallant and I don’t even have cute nicknames for each other.

Winnie and I decide to walk home. After the all the drama with Elz, we both need some fresh air. And besides, the day is beautiful. The leaves have changed into hues of orange, yellow, and red, and the crisp autumn air is refreshing. Plus, a walk will give the two of us a chance to catch up.

Winnie bends over to pick up a large orange-red leaf that closely matches the color of her flaming hair. She hooks her arm in mine.

“What are you doing for Calla’s birthday?”

She reminds me. Calla’s turning nine tomorrow. All the drama in my life has put her birthday on the back burner. Damn Gallant!

“I’m not sure yet,” I say, trying to hide my guilt. “Whatever we do, it’s not going to be grand. Maybe just a few kids from her class.”

“I hope Hansel, Gretel, and Curley are invited.”

“Of course!” I laugh. Winnie’s children and Calla are best friends. Their closeness has made the two of us even closer.

Winnie twirls her leaf and smiles. “Hansel is planning on proposing. He even had Rump make a love bracelet—H+C4EVER.”

Forever.
Nothing is forever. Especially love. I’m too jaded to appreciate the charm of this innocent infatuation.

“Well, he’d better plan on having his heart broken because Calla’s in love with Henry.”

“Henry?”

“Her enchanted frog.”

Winnie grins. “I think he can handle the competition.”

If only I could handle my competition. We pass an orchard full of trees bearing bright red apples. One of them is all I need to eliminate her.

“Don’t go there,”
says a loud voice in my head.

Winnie picks up another leaf. This time, one that’s toasty brown, like the color of her freckles. “Let me know if I can do anything to help.”

“Thanks. I will.” It’s a relief to know that my event-planner friend is still always there for me. I love Winnie.

For the next half-hour or so, we stroll through the countryside in silence. Winnie stoops occasionally to pick up a fanciful leaf to add to her collection. I should be focusing on Calla’s birthday—I still haven’t even bought her a present—but instead all I can think about is Gallant and Aurora. Thoughts swirl around in my head like the autumn leaves. What kinds of thing do they talk about? What is she like in bed? Does Gallant make her explode like he does me?

“Don’t go there,”
that voice inside my head whispers. A strong gust of wind stops my mind from wandering dangerously and breaks our silence.

“What’s going on with you and Gallant?” asks Winnie, adjusting her cloak.

A chill rushes through my body. I thought she was deliberately avoiding this delicate subject. The source of our rift.

For a minute, I think about changing the subject but instead find myself spewing out everything that’s happened since the last time we saw each other. I spend considerable time on yesterday’s events at The Trove.

Winnie listens without interrupting me once. When I’m done catching her up, I take a deep breath. Sharing all this negative stuff with Winnie has had cathartic effect on me. I feel better. Now, I must prepare myself for Winnie’s response. She’s going to tell me again that I’m jumping to conclusions.
Okay, Winnie, lay it on. I can handle it.

I turn to her, anxiously awaiting a response. Her pretty profile is pensive, almost solemn. Unexpectedly, she turns to me and envelops me in her arms.

“You poor thing!” she says, like a mother comforting a child who’s scraped her knee.

Tears trickle down my face. I’m not sure if I’m crying because of Gallant’s infidelity or Winnie’s reaction. Or a combination of both.

Winnie brushes away the tears with her cloak. “What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know.” I shake my head. “What do you think I should do?” Winnie with all her wisdom will have the answer.

Winnie takes a deep inhale and tosses her leaves into the air. She gazes up at them as they waltz around the sky.

“Jane, I have to tell you something.” She pauses. “Something I’ve never told anyone.”

I look at her, perplexed. I thought we kept no secrets from each other.

She takes another deep breath. “John once had an affair.”

I’m shocked. Virtually speechless. How awful that she’s kept her husband’s indiscretion inside her so long. No wonder she’s had such a hard time listening to me blabber on about Gallant’s affair. It probably triggered memories of a time she’s wanted to forget.

“Did you confront him?” I ask at last.

“No, I never let him know that I knew.” She sighs. “I can’t blame him. I was a two-hundred pound bitter woman.”

John’s lack of attention toward Winnie drove her to become an emotional overeater. I wonder if his affair made her fatter and bitter. “What was she like?” I ask cautiously.

“She was really a no-one. A plain goose girl who had a reputation of being a shrew. John was not her only conquest.”

“How did you know John was having an affair with her?” My curiosity is getting the better of me.

“I was suspicious and hired someone to follow him. The investigator caught them embracing in his cobbler shop. At least, he had the decency not to bring her into our house with the children.”

Rage is racing through me. I battle the urge to stomp to Winnie’s house and punch John out.

Winnie’s eyes grow watery. She takes another deep breath.

“Jane, I let it go.”

“Why?”
How could she?

“Because I loved him. And I believed deep inside he loved me.”

I listen intently, speechless.

“Jane, John and I have been married for fifteen years. A marriage is a lot of work. There are good times and bad times. But at the end of the day, you have to decide if this is the man whose hand you want to hold for the rest of your life and with whom you want raise your children.”

I digest her words. “Are you happy you stayed with John?” I ask tentatively.

A wide smile spreads across her freckled face. “Yes. We’ve never been happier.”

I flashback to visitor’s day at Faraway, the day Winnie and John reconciled in front of all us in Dr. Grimm’s group session. How for the first time in my life I witnessed what I believed was true love when he took her in his arms and begged her to come home. To be his wife and the mother of their children. I believe her.

The sun starts to set, and I silently admire the blushing autumn sky. Leaves continue to fall lazily to the ground all around us. We trod on in silence until we reach a fork in the road; one path leads to Winnie’s house, the other to mine. We hold each other in a hug for a long time and finally say goodbye.

The air gets chillier. I hug myself to keep warm and wonder which road I need to take with Gallant.

Chapter 14

“M
OMMY, THEY’RE HERE!” SHOUTS CALLA as I finish braiding her golden tresses. Her big brown eyes are popping with excitement.

Leaving Lady Jane and caged up Henry behind, she skips downstairs to greet Hansel, Gretel, and Curley. She didn’t even give me a chance to hug her and wish her a Happy Birthday. Nine! I guess she’s reached the age where she’d rather spend more time with her peers than with her family. Peering out her chamber window, I smile as I watch her play chase with her friends. My fragile flower is on the verge of blooming into a beautiful adolescent. A pang of sadness sneaks up on me. I wonder how many more birthdays I’ll get to celebrate with her. Or will this be the last?

I’m glad that she was okay with a small, after-school celebration. Winnie, thank goodness, helped me put together a last-minute scavenger hunt around the property. Gallant, who made a quick appearance at breakfast, was no help at all, claiming that he had to work 24-7 in preparation for his retrospective, now only four days away. I’ll be surprised if he shows up any time again today. Yesterday’s conversation with Winnie has haunted me. I don’t know how I can stay with the man who has broken my heart.