He knew he had Amber hooked, but he couldn’t
resist toying with her a bit more. He leaned into her right ear and
reinitiated conversation.
Alex: “How long did you spend getting ready
tonight?”
Amber: “I don’t know. Half an hour maybe.
Why?”
Alex: “You have lint between your toes.”
Amber: “What?”
Alex: “Your toes. There is lint stuck between
your toes. Or it could be something else, but it looks like lint.
You really should keep them cleaner.”
Amber stopped dancing and looked down at her
feet for about five seconds. Not finding any problems, she looked
up to see Alex suppressing a smile. She put her arms around his
head and jumped into him, kissing him deeply. She tasted very
good.
One Britney Spears, one Prince, and one Nine
Inch Nails song later, Alex heard the beginnings of one of the few
songs he genuinely did like to dance to. Some of the best guitar
chords ever combined poured out of the club’s sound system.
“Dun-na-na-Na . . . Dun-na-na-Na . . .
Dun-na-na-nun-na-na-nun-na-na-nun-na-na . . .”
“Oh, what is this crap?” Amber wanted to
know, looking a bit confused.
Alex was shocked. “You don’t know what this
is?” he asked loudly enough to be heard over the music. He quickly
answered his own question. “It’s Guns N’ Roses.
Welcome to the
Jungle
. This is one of the greatest songs of all time.”
Amber rolled her eyes before responding. “Duh
. . . I know that . . . I have parents too, you know.”
It took Alex a moment to realize what she
meant and that she was serious. He had enough of a sense of humor
to laugh about it, but he suddenly felt too old to be on the dance
floor. “Let’s get out of here,” he suggested.
Ninety minutes, a thirty-five dollar cab
ride, four Amstel Lights, and two of Alex’s best attempts at making
a cosmopolitan later, Alex was lifting Amber’s black Bebe shirt
over her head and moving down to suck on her breasts. With Freddy
passed out on the living room couch and the bedroom door closed and
locked, Alex climbed on top of Amber who was now fully naked. A
moment later he rolled off her and ran to the closet to grab a
condom. He tore it open while walking back to the bed and began
applying it immediately. Speed was of the essence at this point. A
lost erection was most likely not an impossible obstacle to
overcome, but after six beers he did not care to risk it. He
pounced back on top of Amber. The condom covered the head of his
cock but did not seem to want to acquire any more real estate. He
pushed more forcefully but the effort was counter-productive. Alex
had tried to roll it inside out.
“Son of a . . . God, I hate these things,” he
muttered more to himself than her. He ripped off the now useless
piece of latex and flung it aimlessly across the room with a plan
to go back to the closet for another one, his cock already starting
to deflate.
Apparently, Amber felt a similar aversion to
condoms. “Don’t worry, just put it in me. I want to feel you in
me,” she moaned while reaching down and softly stroking Alex’s
balls with her fingernails. “Come on, fill me up,” she added for
good measure.
Alex was sold. Her words reversed any
softening trend the condom mishap created, and he slid into her
easily. She was tight, but very wet, and Alex felt pure bliss in a
way he could never describe. His dick felt like it was at the
center of the universe. Even better, for the first few moments it
felt like it was the whole universe and that a second big bang
might originate from his trusty little meat-puppet right there in
his bedroom. As the intensity subsided, he opened his eyes to look
down at Amber’s perfectly proportioned body and tight skin. He
wrapped one arm around her neck and reached down with the other one
and wedged his hand between the bed and her ass, his open palm
feeling her flesh. He decided twenty-one definitely was not too
young. He looked at her face. Amber’s eyes were closed, but she
reached around him to grab his ass and pull him deeper inside of
her. She moaned softly with pleasure, clearly in another place.
Minutes later, they rolled over so Amber was
on top. Without him coming out of her, she got into a squatting
position and began to bounce up and down on him. The feeling was
incredible and Alex felt his balls start to tighten. Not knowing if
Amber used any kind of birth control, he told her that he was going
to come soon. She sat up and scooted back between his legs.
Years of watching porn had Alex nearly
convinced that it was nature’s intended course of events for sex to
end with the man ejaculating onto the woman’s open-mouthed face.
Still, he found this to be somewhat demeaning. Alex considered
himself to be a gentleman and, therefore, preferred to come on a
girl’s tits – unless of course he actually disliked the girl. He
began focusing on Amber’s chest, but she had other ideas. She
popped onto her knees and began sucking on him vigorously. Four
seconds later, Alex came into her mouth while she continued sucking
him and rubbing his balls. It was one of the most riveting orgasms
he could remember in a long time. She swallowed as much as possible
and then crawled up his chest and wrapped her arms around him,
thankfully showing no interest in kissing. Two minutes of cuddling
and a three-minute shower later, Alex closed his eyes and fell
asleep a very happy man.
The glow began to fade about two days later.
While taking a piss before getting ready for work on Monday, he
felt a slightly uncomfortable feeling in his dick. Though it was
unusual, he did not think much of it. However, the sensation grew
worse over the next few days until Alex knew he couldn’t ignore
it.
By Friday, the situation demanded action.
Since he did not have a regular doctor, and had in fact not even
been to a doctor in more than seven years, on Friday afternoon Alex
called the local Save-On pharmacy and asked for a recommendation
for one. They gave him the number of a Dr. Katz, and he made an
appointment for early Saturday morning.
Dr. Katz’s office was downtown, in the heart
the Gaslamp district and ironically only a few blocks from Jimmy
Love’s. Alex was surprised to find the doctor meet him in the lobby
personally. There was no secretary. Dr. Katz was a bit on the short
side, about forty years old, and had his hair shaved close to his
head, though it was obvious he wouldn’t have had much hair on top
either way. He was charismatic and Alex felt comfortable with him
immediately. On the walls were pictures of the doctor with all
sorts of celebrities. Alec Baldwin, Yasmine Bleeth, Joe Montana,
Roberto Alomar, Pamela Anderson and Junior Seau were among the few
Alex recognized immediately.
They walked into a back office where the
doctor directed him to sit on a table covered in butcher paper. He
got right to the point.
“So who’d you fuck?” he asked.
Alex couldn’t help but smile despite the fact
that he found the whole situation anything but comedic.
Alex: “No one important. Especially now.”
Dr. Katz: “So can you describe the
symptoms?”
Alex: “Basically it just feels uncomfortable
every time I piss. Sort of like there is a little more that needs
to come out, but it won’t.”
Dr. Katz: “I see. So is it actually painful
or just annoying?”
Alex: “More annoying I guess. It doesn’t
really hurt, but it doesn’t feel right either.”
Dr. Katz: “Any discharge?”
Alex: “Nope.”
Dr. Katz: “I take it you were not real safe
with this girl. Do you have any reason to believe she had any
special risk factors?”
Alex: “No, I was stupid. I don’t know, I mean
she didn’t seem like the type to sleep around, but then again, she
seemed to know what she was doing.”
Dr. Katz: “When was it?”
Alex: “A week ago.”
Dr. Katz: “Believe it or not, Sport, a girl
who is quick to jump into bed with you may very well do the same
with other people. Anyway, let’s take a look, but my guess is you
may want to withhold judgment for a bit.”
The doctor put on a pair of gloves as Alex
pulled down his shorts and boxers, promising himself he would be
smarter in the future, something along the “never again” routine
which had taken place in his mind many times before. Dr. Katz
lifted up Alex’s penis, took a five-second look, dropped it and
then asked Alex to turn around and lean over the table. As he did
so, he turned around and applied a small amount of lubrication to
the index finger of his right hand.
Alex was immediately confused and concerned.
It seemed his celebrity doctor may have had a second agenda. “Whoa
Doc, the problem is definitely on this side,” he said firmly while
pointing emphatically at his crotch. Dr. Katz agreed but told him
that most likely what he had was not an STD but a simple infection
in the prostate. The only way to tell for sure was to check it out.
Alex had never heard of this and was very skeptical, but he was not
in a position to argue. He turned around, bent over the table,
closed his eyes and tried to think about work. Instead, all he
could think was that he was not going to sleep with random chicks
anymore.
In conversation with friends, Alex had
learned that a lot of guys enjoyed having a girl stick a finger up
their ass, but he had never understood this and had rejected it the
few times someone had tried. As such, he really had no idea what to
expect and feared the worst, but it turned out the docs finger
entered him quite easily and didn’t cause any significant
discomfort. He was trying to relax when he felt a sudden and
massively sharp pain in the head of his penis. For about three
seconds it felt like a medium-sized iguana was trying to claw its
way out his urethra. It came as such a surprise that he actually
screamed and looked down to see if his dick was still in one piece.
Just as quickly, the doctor withdrew his finger and the pain
completely subsided.
He quickly turned around and fought back an
instinct to take a swing at the doc, instead grabbing his penis
with both hands and bending over slightly. Dr. Katz chose this
moment to deliver the first good news of the day. “My guess is you
don’t have any kind of STD, but just a normal infection. Still,
just to be sure, we will take a quick sample and have it sent to
the lab.”
This made Alex feel better, but only for a
second. Before he knew what was going on, the doc had a q-tip in
one hand and was grabbing Alex’s dick with the other. “Just need to
get this in there for a second,” he said, still calm as ever. For
the second time in less than five minutes Alex had part of his body
penetrated for the first time. This go-around was no less
unpleasant. It seemed the iguana wanted back in and was being quite
violent about it. Alex groaned though clenched teeth. The q-tip
came out just as quickly as the doc’s finger, but this time the
pain took longer to subside.
Alex was very happy to pull his pants up,
though he was still partially immobilized from the pain. After
regaining his composure, he asked the doctor what the next step
was. Dr. Katz reiterated that he felt most likely this was a
naturally occurring infection but that he could call in for the
results of the test in three days. Until then, he advised not to
hold anything against the girl in question. He also wrote a
prescription for an antibiotic and told Alex to make sure to finish
all of the pills even if the symptoms went away first.
Alex was gathering his things to leave, but
the doc had a few other words of advice. “In addition to taking the
antibiotics, it would be a good idea to try and drink a fair amount
of cranberry juice and also to make sure you have an orgasm at
least every two days to keep things flowing in there. Think you can
handle that, Sport?” he asked with a wink that Alex found partially
charismatic and partially creepy.
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I can figure that one
out,” Alex replied.
Dr. Katz told Alex he didn’t take insurance
for weekend visits and this was fine because Alex didn’t know how
to use his insurance anyway. Alex gave the doctor six hundred
dollar bills and was informed that this would cover the lab fees as
well.
“Great, take it easy then,” Dr. Katz said and
started heading out the door.
Just as they were about to exit the office
together, a thought entered Alex’s mind. “Hey Doc,” he started, “if
I did have some type of STD instead of what you think it is, would
you have prescribed the same drug?”
Dr. Katz thought for a second and replied
that, yes, it would have been the same remedy.
Alex was confused. “If that is the case,
couldn’t we have skipped the whole jelly finger and q-tip routine
and just prescribed the pills?” he asked.
Dr. Katz pondered the question for a minute,
tilting his head slightly to the right and narrowing his eyes.
“Yeah, I guess we could have,” he replied. After a short pause he
added one more word – “Interesting.” Then he gave Alex a quick
military salute before spinning around and walking briskly away,
leaving Alex standing alone in the morning sun.
Chapter Twenty One
The Casino Part I
10:57 p.m.
“
You think I like avoiding my wife and
kids to hang out with nineteen-year-old girls every day?”
– Beanie,
Old School
Somewhere in La Jolla, three hundred and
thirty-three miles in the past, the seagull that pooped on Alex’s
foot earlier that day, thereby unknowingly altering the fate of the
entire weekend, of all eternity really, settled in and fell asleep
for the night. In the middle of the Nevada desert, four men who
began their day in San Diego felt as if they were just getting
started.
Part of the magic of walking into the casino
at the Las Vegas Hard Rock Hotel at any point before about midnight
on a Friday or Saturday night was that it provided the rare
sensation of entering a great party at exactly the right time. Each
of the guys had heard the rumor that casinos pump extra oxygen into
the air to keep people gambling longer, but none of them ever knew
if it was true. Regardless, there was no doubt that the environment
created an instant stimulus and provided a feeling of vitality
similar to the effect of certain drugs that were most definitely
being consumed by a fair number of the patrons.