Authors: Ed Howdershelt
I took a deep breath and said, “Jaline, you're far too powerful and you have some human temperaments. I just can't blindly trust that you'll never get pissed about something and wipe out the world, so my first wish is the one that I mentioned earlier ... that you can't ever directly harm or harass me or anyone else—or indirectly cause me or anyone else to be harmed or harassed—in any manner, except as necessary for self-defense or defense of someone else."
"Done,” she said with a grin, “That was a wasted wish, by the way. Well considered, but wholly unnecessary."
As Moocher stood on a chair to sniffingly investigate the samovar, I said, “Glad to hear it, but better safe than sorry. Would you make the diamonds appear in a backpack like the one you've seen me carry? I don't want them to become cat toys.” I gestured at Moocher and Winston, who had also become curious about the samovar.
When the backpack appeared smack in the middle of the table, it displaced air with a popping sound and a slight breeze. Both cats jumped a few feet and wound up on the floor. Winston landed in combat mode and Moocher looked at me for reassurance.
"No problem, Moochie,” I said, heaving the bag to the floor and shoving it out of the way against the cabinets. Patting the bag, I said, “It's just a plain old
thing
, see?"
All three cats cautiously edged their way closer to the bag as I put a hand on Jaline's shoulder and said, “Thank you
very
much, Jaline. I have some plans and ideas for some of those diamonds."
Her brows furrowed and she seemed somewhat startled and puzzled as I sat down and picked up my coffee.
"Don't you want to
see
your diamonds?"
Sipping my coffee, then shaking my head, I said, “Nope. Seen ‘em before in Africa. They don't look very special at all before they've been cut and polished. ‘Course, the people who buy them from me may not feel that way. I'll sell a few quietly now and then and stash the others."
"But...” She glanced at the bag again, then returned her gaze to me as she said, “Never mind. Are you ready to make your third wish?"
"Gimme a minute. I'm still putting it together. Did you make it all the way through the encyclopedia over the weekend?"
With a somewhat miffed expression, she rather stiffly stated, “Of course."
"Well, then, you know what ‘telekinesis’ is. That's part one of wish three. I'd like to be able to move things with my mind. To make them move fairly fast, too. And, in case I wanted to hop over to Europe for a weekend, I'd need to be able to move myself safely at high speeds. How could you grant me that?"
She shrugged. “I'd give you the ability to apply variations of the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. You'd be able to redirect field energies in order to move matter at virtually any speed and to create a protective field around it or yourself. I'll instil knowledge of use with the ability, but using it safely will still require considerable practice."
Chuckling, I said, “Oh, I don't doubt that at all, ma'am. Not at all. Great, then, we'll make all that part of my wish. I'm also thinking about my health, Jaline. Can you reverse my physical years to age thirty and set my body to remain in perfect health at that age indefinitely?"
"Yes, I can roll back your years and give you perfect health. No, I can't lock your body at that age. You'll begin aging normally from that point."
"In that case, make it twenty-five. Will you do it without affecting my mind as it is at this moment? No memory losses or scrambling?"
"Yes."
"Are there any other caveats I should know about?"
"I can't think of any."
I nodded. “Can you extend the reversal of age and perfect health part of the wish to include my immediate family and friends? Back ‘em all down to twenty-five?” I picked up Winston and added, “And my cats? Would you make them each about a year old, physically?"
In a tone that said that I was beginning to bug her with my unending details, she said, “Yes."
"Then we'll add that in, too. Now for the last part of my third wish. After irrevocably granting my other conditions of this wish, you'll accept your emancipation from whatever bondage made me your temporary master. I
won't
include that you must never again allow anyone to confine or control you unless
you
ask me to add that into my wish."
Both of her eyebrows went up at that. After a moment, Jaline smiled and said softly, “I'd prefer that you not include that in your wish. Perhaps you're smarter than I thought."
I returned her smile and said, “No human I've ever heard of could confine or contain someone like you without your cooperation, milady. Why do you do it?"
Studying her coffee, she said, “I ... I can't tell you that."
"More rules, or just plain ol’ unwillingness?"
Her eyes rose to meet mine. “Both."
Patting Winston, I grinningly said, “See, Winston? Give a genie her freedom and she gets all uppity.” Winston gave me an ear-flick equivalent of
'shut up and pet me'
.
There was a lull in conversation as we sipped our coffees. Just as it occurred to me that I'd never seen any reference to a Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle outside a science fiction paperback, I had a sudden revelation. It was as if someone had flipped a switch inside my head. Complete understanding flooded my mind.
I had to try it. My gaze fell upon the diamond bag. I envisioned it sitting by the kitchen door and it disappeared, then reappeared by the kitchen door. In more or less complete shock, I softly muttered,
"Well, damn! It really works!"
Jaline smiled at my expression. I envisioned the bag on the kitchen counter. It disappeared and reappeared there. The new knowledge in my head told me how to suspend it in mid-air and I tried that, too, which made the cats extremely nervous. They stared hard at the floating bag until I set it on the floor.
Looking at my reflection in the microwave's window, I searched for changes to my face and saw none. Examining my left hand for signs of returning youth, I began to ask Jaline when I'd begin to look and feel younger, but she anticipated my questions.
"Your body—and those of the others you included in your wish—will be adjusted gradually over the next week or so, Ed. Changing physiologies too quickly causes considerable pain. Those who aren't aware of your wish could also experience serious mental distress.” With a grin, she added, “Will you contact them or allow the changes to be a complete surprise?"
Grinning back at her, I said, “I'll call my mother in a day or two and let her know what to expect. She'll probably think I'm a little crazy, but by then she may have noticed changes. I'll call my sisters after I talk to her. It might comfort them to know that they won't regress back to zero."
Chuckling, Jaline asked, “What about Selena?"
"She's only in her thirties, so the changes won't be as noticeable. I'll give her a few days to get organized in Tallahassee, then call her if she hasn't called me in the meantime. Should be interesting, either way. If I'm all set, what are your plans now, Jaline? Are you in a great big hurry to hit the road?"
As Moocher stood on the chair by Jaline's and preened under her hands, she asked, “Hit the road? You mean to leave?"
"Yes'm. You don't have to, you know. You're very welcome to use Selena's room and stay a while. You'd get free use of the cats, too. Especially that one."
Moocher's loud purr as she petted him made her chuckle softly. Jaline ruffled his chin fuzz for a time, then sighed.
"I don't know,” she said. “I'll have to ... I'll
want
to check with some ... people."
Shrugging, I said, “Well, the room's yours if you want it."
She seemed thoughtful for some moments.
"How long is ‘a while’ to you, Ed?"
"As long as it turns out to be, Jaline. I don't really believe you
need
a room, y'know, but it's about all I can offer you. That and company. The wishes are done. Now it would just be a matter of being with someone who wouldn't try to make you do things; who wouldn't try to control you.” Sipping my coffee, I added, “And everybody should have at least one person in his or her life who doesn't want a damned thing from them except a bit of friendly company. If you don't feel right about staying—or can't stay, for whatever reason—or if you stay a while, then leave, you could still visit now and then. I'd like that a lot.” Gesturing at the cats, I said, “
We'd
like that."
Jaline set Moocher on the other chair and stood up as she softly said, “Ed, I'm almost
six thousand
years old. You're a little young for me."
Grinning, I said, “Oh, gee, let me try to dig up something witty.
'You don't look a day over four thousand, ma'am!'
"
"How cute,” she said dryly, but with a smirk of her own.
"Big numbers don't scare me, milady. You're smart and you're gorgeous and I'd be
honored
to share your company."
Mock-sighing exasperation, she said, “You can stop now."
Taking her hand, I said, “Oh, only if you
wish
it, milady,” and gave her time to chuckle again before I said, “But be warned; if you decide to stay, you'll probably be hearing things like that fairly often."
She tilted her head slightly and wryly asked, “What happened to not wanting anything from me?"
"All right; amend that to
'nothing that you won't willingly offer'
. How's that? If you don't offer, that won't make you any less welcome."
"Won't having me here somewhat cripple your chances of finding another girlfriend?"
I shrugged. “Oh, sure, but probably not forever. You'd get tired of all the compliments sooner or later."
Laughing, Jaline asked, “What if I didn't?"
"No biggie. We'd figure something out. Besides, don't you want to stay and watch me figure out how to use my new talents? That might be pretty funny at times."
Moocher didn't like being ignored. Standing on the edge of the chair's seat, he leaned as far as possible toward Jaline's dangling right hand and teetered there precariously, trying to make contact. When his paw touched her hand, Jaline startled slightly and Mooch lost his balance, toppling forward.
He fell a few inches before floating upward and into Jaline's arms, where his loud, happy purring began immediately. Jaline chuckled and stroked Mooch for a few moments in silence, then looked up at me and smiled.
"Okay. You've convinced me. I'll stay for a
while
, Ed.” She raised an emphatic index finger and said, “But it will be a while as
I
choose to define it; no longer than that."
Grinning at her, I said, “Jaline, I'll bet one of the diamonds in that bag that your definition of ‘a while’ won't be long enough to suit me.” Nodding at Moocher, who was nuzzling her chin with his face, I added, “
Us
, that is."